Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[anjelikaferrett]

I am currently in hospital after an emergency surgery yesterday evening. Honking morphine and in very positive frame of mood after yesterday when I was fearing the worst.

My mate basically stayed with me all yesterday evening and was a star. Being there is a huge help. If you have the ability to be there for someone in need, do it!

I guess he's going to see Orbital without me next week, but I might pass my Everton medical tomorrow.

Get well soon. I'll look forward to seeing you slot a hat trick for us on Sunday.

 

[Spadge Vernacular]

I am currently in hospital after an emergency surgery yesterday evening. Honking morphine and in very positive frame of mood after yesterday when I was fearing the worst.

My mate basically stayed with me all yesterday evening and was a star. Being there is a huge help. If you have the ability to be there for someone in need, do it!

I guess he's going to see Orbital without me next week, but I might pass my Everton medical tomorrow.

Wishing you a speedy recovery mate x

 

[Yarrgh]

Wishing you a speedy recovery mate x

Cheers mate. Just got home 2 hours ago and I am absolutely goosed. Mama Yarrrgh is looking after me so I'm in good hands.

 

[Spadge Vernacular]

Cheers mate. Just got home 2 hours ago and I am absolutely goosed. Mama Yarrrgh is looking after me so I'm in good hands.

Great news, mate

Just in time for Everton to ruin your weekend.

 

[Yarrgh]

Great news, mate

Just in time for Everton to ruin your weekend.

Yep. Business as usual. Only my mum would make e sector look like a Widnesian 3rd eye opening neo paganist retreat once she starts up on them so it's gonna be worse...much worse.

 

[coollino]

I think my and my gf have just split up. we're been together 15 years and i don't even know whats happened, it just haven't felt right for a while now. We get on and things, just feels like something is missing at the moment.

obvously i am really sad but it might be for the best, it's just weird as we haven't fallen out. pretty crap as we have a 3 year old who is so happy and it will break her - even typing that has made me breakdown ffs

i'm mid 30's and i have no idea what life is like without her. we've had a lot of pressure lately, a builder ran off with some of our money for an extension so we've been trying to do it ourselves with the help of her parents, so every weekend is doing work, both days. we never really get time as a family, i've said that this might eventually break us but got told everything 'needs to be finished', and i think it now pretty much has broken us

i hope my gf will be ok if it happens, i do worry for her, i have no idea whats going on

 

[Nymzee]

I think my and my gf have just split up. we're been together 15 years and i don't even know whats happened, it just haven't felt right for a while now. We get on and things, just feels like something is missing at the moment.

obvously i am really sad but it might be for the best, it's just weird as we haven't fallen out. pretty crap as we have a 3 year old who is so happy and it will break her - even typing that has made me breakdown ffs

i'm mid 30's and i have no idea what life is like without her. we've had a lot of pressure lately, a builder ran off with some of our money for an extension so we've been trying to do it ourselves with the help of her parents, so every weekend is doing work, both days. we never really get time as a family, i've said that this might eventually break us but got told everything 'needs to be finished', and i think it now pretty much has broken us

Sorry to hear that mate. Have you thought about instead of breaking up, discussing with her having just a break instead? No splitting, just some distance to get perspective. Sounds like the extension stuff is just adding lots of stress and financial pressure to your relationship and that will only exacerbate any other issues you two might have. Some space whilst that's all getting sorted might just work.

I find people are often either together or splitting up and don't think about maybe just taking a little break to re-align.

 

[coollino]

Sorry to hear that mate. Have you thought about instead of breaking up, discussing with her having just a break instead? No splitting, just some distance to get perspective. Sounds like the extension stuff is just adding lots of stress and financial pressure to your relationship and that will only exacerbate any other issues you two might have. Some space whilst that's all getting sorted might just work.

I find people are often either together or splitting up and don't think about maybe just taking a little break to re-align.

cheers. Yeah, a break might be a good idea, i'll mention it.

it's hard to say what has even happened, we just agree that we haven't been happy for a while. and 'forgot' what its like to be happy in a way - but its hard to know the real reason for his

 

[Nymzee]

cheers. Yeah, a break might be a good idea, i'll mention it.

it's hard to say what has even happened, we just agree that we haven't been happy for a while. and 'forgot' what its like to be happy in a way - but its hard to know the real reason for his

Yeh, understandably tough, more so with having a child. But I also think it's really hard to remember what made you two happy together if you don't allow space to shine a torch on it. If you two just go through the motions you'll never be able to remember what it was really like once.

 

[COYBL25]

Sorry to hear that mate. Have you thought about instead of breaking up, discussing with her having just a break instead? No splitting, just some distance to get perspective. Sounds like the extension stuff is just adding lots of stress and financial pressure to your relationship and that will only exacerbate any other issues you two might have. Some space whilst that's all getting sorted might just work.

I find people are often either together or splitting up and don't think about maybe just taking a little break to re-align.

I’m so sorry about this mate.

Some great advice from @Nymzee there.

Can I also suggest that you possibly give thought to both seeing a “ couples councillor “ ?

A very good friend of mine was in an almost identical position, minus the baby - they were doing a rundown farm up and became overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work and money that it needed.

The councillor really helped them put things into perspective and stopped the blame game, that was going on.

 

[coollino]

I’m so sorry about this mate.

Some great advice from @Nymzee there.

Can I also suggest that you possibly give thought to both seeing a “ couples councillor “ ?

A very good friend of mine was in an almost identical position, minus the baby - they were doing a rundown farm up and became overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work and money that it needed.

The councillor really helped them put things into perspective and stopped the blame game, that was going on.

thanks, i might look into that. It sounds very very similar to our situation. We've been through a decent amount of bad situations, and got through them so it just feels so sad for it to end this way

one minute i think its for the best, and another i just get so overwhelmed i feel like i'm about to have a panic attack. we'll see what happens i guess

 

[Gwladysover]

I think my and my gf have just split up. we're been together 15 years and i don't even know whats happened, it just haven't felt right for a while now. We get on and things, just feels like something is missing at the moment.

obvously i am really sad but it might be for the best, it's just weird as we haven't fallen out. pretty crap as we have a 3 year old who is so happy and it will break her - even typing that has made me breakdown ffs

i'm mid 30's and i have no idea what life is like without her. we've had a lot of pressure lately, a builder ran off with some of our money for an extension so we've been trying to do it ourselves with the help of her parents, so every weekend is doing work, both days. we never really get time as a family, i've said that this might eventually break us but got told everything 'needs to be finished', and i think it now pretty much has broken us

i hope my gf will be ok if it happens, i do worry for her, i have no idea whats going on

So sorry to read this, you are both under a great deal of stress, building works, the awful situation of the builder running off with your money and caring for a lively three year old. I can understand your girlfriend’s desire to get everything finished but @Nymzee has good advice about taking a break even if only for a day. Is there much work still to do, you will both feel more relaxed when it is finished and can start to enjoy life as a family once more. Also agree with @COYBL25 re the couples counsellor I know someone who found that a great help. Sometimes it‘s hard to see the wood for the trees and you just need pointing in the right direction. You’ve been together for 15 years so must have something pretty special, I really hope you are able to work through this. All the best.

 

[David09]

I think my and my gf have just split up. we're been together 15 years and i don't even know whats happened, it just haven't felt right for a while now. We get on and things, just feels like something is missing at the moment.

obvously i am really sad but it might be for the best, it's just weird as we haven't fallen out. pretty crap as we have a 3 year old who is so happy and it will break her - even typing that has made me breakdown ffs

i'm mid 30's and i have no idea what life is like without her. we've had a lot of pressure lately, a builder ran off with some of our money for an extension so we've been trying to do it ourselves with the help of her parents, so every weekend is doing work, both days. we never really get time as a family, i've said that this might eventually break us but got told everything 'needs to be finished', and i think it now pretty much has broken us

i hope my gf will be ok if it happens, i do worry for her, i have no idea whats going on

Good luck trying to work your relationship out. It sounds like you don't really want to split up.
I would sit down with her and find out what she really wants.
I stayed with my Ex for 4 years trying to save my marriage and I thought we were back in love . My daughter was 9 at the time and so it made me try that bit harder to save things.
I'll hold my hands up now though and say I was an absolute idiot for staying for so long when she new it was over.
I hope everything works out for you.
If your ever struggling there will always be someone on here to chat to.

 

[coollino]

Good luck trying to work your relationship out. It sounds like you don't really want to split up.
I would sit down with her and find out what she really wants.
I stayed with my Ex for 4 years trying to save my marriage and I thought we were back in love . My daughter was 9 at the time and so it made me try that bit harder to save things.
I'll hold my hands up now though and say I was an absolute idiot for staying for so long when she new it was over.
I hope everything works out for you.
If your ever struggling there will always be someone on here to chat to.

thanks. yeah, maybe we don't but it may well happen. it's the closest i have ever felt to it being the 'right thing' but we have just planned a day out with us through so hopefully it might be a sign that days as a family might keep us together

 

[Nymzee]

thanks. yeah, maybe we don't but it may well happen. it's the closest i have ever felt to it being the 'right thing' but we have just planned a day out with us through so hopefully it might be a sign that days as a family might keep us together

Whilst that sounds good, is that staying together for the kid or staying together for the family?

I only say that as I know people with parents who just flat out hate each other and only stuck around for the kids. Young kids survive broken homes, it's so common these days.