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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Christmas evidentially is when people, men especially, struggle with their mental health and feel suicidal. The figures are quite stark and concerning.

With the purpose of helping those who struggle, specifically those who feel suicidal, I'd like to ask people:

A
Are you able to ask someone you love or care about and are concerned for them, " Do you feel suicidal sometimes ? "
If no, you wouldn't be able to ask that, why is that ?
If " yes " how have you said it, is it something you could share ( it may be helpful ).

B
Have you found yourself feeling suicidal and have you been able to tell someone and ask for help? Or did you struggle to say anything ? What happened ? Why couldn't you ask for help, what stopped you ?

Perhaps people can reply with their thoughts, and suggestions. Our thoughts on the questions posed may really help someone. I certainly hope so.

Take care all
 
Spotty said:
Christmas evidentially is when people, men especially, struggle with their mental health and feel suicidal. The figures are quite stark and concerning.

With the purpose of helping those who struggle, specifically those who feel suicidal, I'd like to ask people:

A
Are you able to ask someone you love or care about and are concerned for them, " Do you feel suicidal sometimes ? "
If no, you wouldn't be able to ask that, why is that ?
If " yes " how have you said it, is it something you could share ( it may be helpful ).

B
Have you found yourself feeling suicidal and have you been able to tell someone and ask for help? Or did you struggle to say anything ? What happened ? Why couldn't you ask for help, what stopped you ?

Perhaps people can reply with their thoughts, and suggestions. Our thoughts on the questions posed may really help someone. I certainly hope so.

Take care all
Click to expand...
A.
"When you are feeling low, or even at your lowest, is there someone you can turn to?"

This is important because confronting someone with the reality of their depths is unlikely to be the best way to convey your concern. Softly softly, try not to reinforce an aspect of thought. Especially a very negative angle of thought.

B.
Have you felt yourself getting lower, more sad of mood? Do you want to shout up that you are struggling but feel you can't? That first step of communication is the breakthrough.

This is a 'no no'! In my very limited experience I have found that probing and pushing towards a perceived answer is counter productive, when someone is in difficulty, it's best to let them talk, just listen to them, it's often all they are after, a chance to unload a ton of crap, that's been bottled up for to long previous.

"things aren't always as dark or as bad as they seem, sometimes focusing on the bad overshadows the few good things round the edges, when we convince ourselves of hopelessness it can be easy to give in to that idea. There is a tomorrow, and it can be better, we all have to be there to participate in it".

No easy answers, no condemnation, it takes time to end up hopeless, it takes time to find new hope. Giving up is no option, it is surrender. Things do get better.
 
Rita_Poon said:
A.
"When you are feeling low, or even at your lowest, is there someone you can turn to?"

This is important because confronting someone with the reality of their depths is unlikely to be the best way to convey your concern. Softly softly, try not to reinforce an aspect of thought. Especially a very negative angle of thought.

B.
Have you felt yourself getting lower, more sad of mood? Do you want to shout up that you are struggling but feel you can't? That first step of communication is the breakthrough.

This is a 'no no'! In my very limited experience I have found that probing and pushing towards a perceived answer is counter productive, when someone is in difficulty, it's best to let them talk, just listen to them, it's often all they are after, a chance to unload a ton of crap, that's been bottled up for to long previous.

"things aren't always as dark or as bad as they seem, sometimes focusing on the bad overshadows the few good things round the edges, when we convince ourselves of hopelessness it can be easy to give in to that idea. There is a tomorrow, and it can be better, we all have to be there to participate in it".

No easy answers, no condemnation, it takes time to end up hopeless, it takes time to find new hope. Giving up is no option, it is surrender. Things do get better.
Click to expand...
Great post Rita. I was hoping to explore how we " breech the topic " of asking some about their suicidal ideation. In my experience, it's important and does not " trigger " or initiate further thoughts of helplessness. It's getting the conversation started. The making yourself available, letting the person know you care and WANT to help. You are so very right about the " just listening " aspect. Whilst I accept your probing and pushing for an answer is not the approach to take, understanding the person's individuality is so so important. As such there is no one definitive answer. No " one prescription fits all ".

What I'm trying to ascertain our ability to portray to someone " I'm here for you, there is someone who cares and together we can get through this ". How practically do we do that. It's extremely difficult for someone to breech the topic of suicide. VERY difficult for most. To admit you're on the edge, feeling hopeless and that you'd be better off dead must be so so painful to think about. As a RMN I've tried never to lose sight of how distrought and desperate people are, and how lonely they must feel. It's what motivates me. I just wanted to get the views of others on how they breech the topic of offering their support and how they ask, if they can, if someone is suicidal. what they say, or how they do it.? I am not an expert, I'd like to get others views and opinions. I'm eager to learn, to pick up on ideas.

I accept for many it's a very very personal and sensitive topic " are you thinking about killing yourself ". Can we not just ask " are you struggling ? Do you need support, how can I help ? ". Of course we can. But someone feeling suicidal is different. It denotes a desperation. I accept the gravitas of asking, however, it can allow people to express just his desperate, how utterly hopeless they feel and hopefully, the relief and hope they may feel knowing that there is someone who cares and that they have as humans, something to give, something to offer.

Take care all.
 
I lost my dear son Robert 3 years ago --- he took his own life --- had issues with drugs --- but we worked through all of that.
He lived for the gym and his workouts --- when Covid kicked in --- and banned gyms --- he went into meltdown .
He had a really awful chest complaint ---- coughing etc ---- but the gym alleviated it for Robert.
When they shut all the gyms he spiralled into deep depression ----- a beautiful looking young man ----- loved his bowls --- and the ladies ---- left me a message.
I,m sorry Dad ----- I,ve had enough ---- X
 

Pottsie said:
I lost my dear son Robert 3 years ago --- he took his own life --- had issues with drugs --- but we worked through all of that.
He lived for the gym and his workouts --- when Covid kicked in --- and banned gyms --- he went into meltdown .
He had a really awful chest complaint ---- coughing etc ---- but the gym alleviated it for Robert.
When they shut all the gyms he spiralled into deep depression ----- a beautiful looking young man ----- loved his bowls --- and the ladies ---- left me a message.
I,m sorry Dad ----- I,ve had enough ---- X
Click to expand...

Took some stones posting that. Not much else of any use at all that I can add.
 
andy4efc said:
Hey guys. A horrendous year for me and some will recognise I’ve posted in this thread before but not for a shot while.

Some people on GOT know I was having surgery today. Just an update it’s come, PLAN A has worked. I’ve had keyhole, now in recovery room. ✅

Hoping to go home today.
Click to expand...

Best Christmas present you could`ve hoped for mate, made up for you ;)
 
andy4efc said:
Hey guys. A horrendous year for me and some will recognise I’ve posted in this thread before but not for a shot while.

Some people on GOT know I was having surgery today. Just an update it’s come, PLAN A has worked. I’ve had keyhole, now in recovery room. ✅

Hoping to go home today.
Click to expand...
Great news mate, best of luck with your recovery 👍
 

andy4efc said:
Thanks both, at home now. Incredible what they can do these days as the pain is minimal!
Click to expand...
I regret saying this.

the slice on my stomach near the belly button is really really painful, along with some internal discomfort and suddenly really bad neck pain.

I know there is sort of air trapped in my body so it's most probably that, but literally had 5mins in bed and had to get up as it was that bad.
 
Pottsie said:
I lost my dear son Robert 3 years ago --- he took his own life --- had issues with drugs --- but we worked through all of that.
He lived for the gym and his workouts --- when Covid kicked in --- and banned gyms --- he went into meltdown .
He had a really awful chest complaint ---- coughing etc ---- but the gym alleviated it for Robert.
When they shut all the gyms he spiralled into deep depression ----- a beautiful looking young man ----- loved his bowls --- and the ladies ---- left me a message.
I,m sorry Dad ----- I,ve had enough ---- X
Click to expand...

The amount of courage to post this mate.

I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that and for your son. Sounds like a very unique person being into the Gym and also into Bowls?!?

Remember this thread will always be here whether you’re looking for conversations or just to post to get it out.

I visit this thread daily and I know @COYBL25 is ALWAYS monitoring which in incredible.
 
Mrtallywacker said:
Bit of an update today. Blood results have come back, GP has made a routine telephone appointment in 4 weeks to discuss them (hoping the lack of urgency is good news).
Ultrasound has been booked for next month but I received a random call from the hospital today to book an appointment at the Ear/nose/throat dept (GP didn't mention this when i saw him).
The waiting is starting to mess with my head even though I told myself not to let it, I just want to know one way or another
Click to expand...
All the very best mate hope you get some good news and in the words of a decent poster on here....
God bless.
 

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