Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Gwladysover]

We had two pretty horrible miscarriages, one on my around my gf's bday that was dealt with in a hospital and the other the docs said it wasnt one, my gf convinced it was...and then it happened in a pub toilet on Christmas eve

So on the third (successful) time, none of it was enjoyable at all, despite everyone telling you how good you should feel. My gf didn't know if she want to go through with it all too with the fear, but she did, and our baby was fully healthy but it is really is difficult if you are not enjoying the pregnancy stage when dealing with other people because you're told your meant to enjoy every minute and if you don't, you are bad

This all sounds a bit convoluted but I think I'm trying to say it's fine to be terrified, and very normal, and the people who sail through pregnancy first time really don't know how lucky they are

Exactly this, throughout both my pregnancies I was plagued by “morning “ sickness which lasted from the time I awoke until the early evening when the nausea finally eased. The first time I was working full time, the second trying to cope with a toddler. I mostly existed on a diet of Rich Tea biscuits and weak tea. I felt thoroughly miserable and to my shame slightly resentful of the coming baby. I had plenty of support from everyone but pregnancy was not a happy time for me.

 

[coollino]

Exactly this, throughout both my pregnancies I was plagued by “morning “ sickness which lasted from the time I awoke until the early evening when the nausea finally eased. The first time I was working full time, the second trying to cope with a toddler. I mostly existed on a diet of Rich Tea biscuits and weak tea. I felt thoroughly miserable and to my shame slightly resentful of the coming baby. I had plenty of support from everyone but pregnancy was not a happy time for me.

It's wild really that it's meant to be a happy time. Someone has something growing in them, sharing their nutrients etc. if the opinion changed from joy to help, maybe it would be more enjoyable

 

[wainy]

Keep fighting mate Hopefully things improve shortly for you and your family.
A long walk helps me clear my head.
I work with a bloke who had a stroke a couple of years a go. He is back driving trucks now after a year out and loving his job again. Hopefully your wife will be fighting fit again soon.

Really sorry to read this. I do so hope things will get easier for you and your family soon. A few years ago a friend had a stroke at quite a young age. She has made a full recovery and has lived a normal life ever since. Hold on to the thought that things will improve but make sure to take time for yourself. Best wishes.

Thank you both for your good wishes lads, honestly means a lot. Glad to hear of people in similar situations who have now recovered and are now leading normal lives again, stuff like that really gives me hope that this won’t be forever and she’ll get herself on the mend

 

[ToffeeScot]

The Campbell and Sarkic stuff today has really shook me up. Both far too young and a realisation of how fragile life is. Cried a few times just thinking about it. Think aswell because of it being men's mental health week and due to the struggles I've had coming to terms with and understanding my bipolar disorder over the years, it's just a bit overwhelming.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

The Campbell and Sarkic stuff today has really shook me up. Both far too young and a realisation of how fragile life is. Cried a few times just thinking about it. Think aswell because of it being men's mental health week and due to the struggles I've had coming to terms with and understanding my bipolar disorder over the years, it's just a bit overwhelming.

Totally understandable mate. Sorry to hear you’ve been through the wringer; to read your post, though, and just the fact you’ve posted in here suggests you’re winning your battle. Long may that continue to be the case.

 

[ToffeeScot]

Totally understandable mate. Sorry to hear you’ve been through the wringer; to read your post, though, and just the fact you’ve posted in here suggests you’re winning your battle. Long may that continue to be the case.

Thank you mate. Very grateful for the support of my wife, family and friends who are a constant beacon of light for me through the dark periods and make me remember it is worth being here.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

Thank you mate. Very grateful for the support of my wife, family and friends who are a constant beacon of light for me through the dark periods and make me remember it is worth being here.

Great to hear mate. Congrats on choosing someone so awesome to help you through the darker times, and to share in the better times too. Best of luck with it all, and you obviously know where this thread is if you ever need to vent!

 

[davids]

Going through it at the moment.

Bear with me and sorry if this story sounds ridiculous.

My long term partner and I were told we'd find it difficult to have kids.

We were both pretty down about it. Decided we'd take less precaution down the line with trying to stop pregnancy but never really had a plan.

4 days ago we've found out she's pregnant. Now I know this should sound like amazing news but it's like a bus has hit us. I've suffered from OCD, anxiety and depression in the past and it has all flared up at once with this news.

There's a feeling we should be thankful but we both feel absolutely terrified and unsure how to proceed. We can't even confide in close family and friends in case we decide to not go through with it.

I've been crying for 4 days straight with worry and catastrophising going through with it, and not going through with it. My appetite is also completely gone and I can't stop sleeping to find reprieve from my thoughts.

I just needed to get that out somewhere so decided to post on GOT.

Catastrophising and parenthood go together for lots of parents. I had my first at 20 and my third at 45 the first the ignorance of youth got me through the third was a hard slog. Every mention of cot death,MMR side effects put me into panic mode with many sleepless nights. You get through it and the rewards can be tremendous. But only you and your partner know if it's right for you.

 

[Bebeto]

First time I am posting in this thread...like too many of us I have suffered from mental health issues (depression and anxiety) on and off probably for most of my adult life. Recently I was doing better reducing my medication to tiny dosage and working with a therapist for the last 2 years. A couple of months ago I was told I was made redundant from my job following significant changes in the company despite being amongst top performers.. it became an easy job at the end and had a great team so was a big shock
Decided to look for other internal opportunities in the company, and managed to get another role. Whilst I was initially massively relieved, my anxiety has kicked in now that I am starting the role, with it a significant depression episode. I am angry at myself because I keep telling myself I am one of the lucky ones, but my imposture syndrome has badly impacted me and feeling like I am a fraud and that they will see through me. I am planning to increase medication as currently sleeping about 2 or 3 hours per night with regular panic attacks in the day. It's bloody hard. My wife has been amazing supporting me...regretting having gone for the job and not taking the redundancy which was an amazing package and keep torturing myself...

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

First time I am posting in this thread...like too many of us I have suffered from mental health issues (depression and anxiety) on and off probably for most of my adult life. Recently I was doing better reducing my medication to tiny dosage and working with a therapist for the last 2 years. A couple of months ago I was told I was made redundant from my job following significant changes in the company despite being amongst top performers.. it became an easy job at the end and had a great team so was a big shock
Decided to look for other internal opportunities in the company, and managed to get another role. Whilst I was initially massively relieved, my anxiety has kicked in now that I am starting the role, with it a significant depression episode. I am angry at myself because I keep telling myself I am one of the lucky ones, but my imposture syndrome has badly impacted me and feeling like I am a fraud and that they will see through me. I am planning to increase medication as currently sleeping about 2 or 3 hours per night with regular panic attacks in the day. It's bloody hard. My wife has been amazing supporting me...regretting having gone for the job and not taking the redundancy which was an amazing package and keep torturing myself...

I’m no stranger to impostor syndrome mate, so I really sympathise with you. Firstly, it sounds like you’ve made a sound decision, re-upping the medication that’s helped you in the past. Along with your existing support structure, that’ll really help, I’m sure.

Secondly, though, I can imagine the number of people laid off meant that there’d have been some competition for that new role. The people you worry will “find you out” have chosen you to do the job. You were a top performer in the old job, so you know you have it in you to succeed. I know it’s wildly insensitive to tell someone suffering with their MH to not overthink something, so I won’t, but just do what you can to let your instincts guide you on this one and you’ll be fine. Look forward to hearing your updates. Good luck!

 

[Titus Bramble]

First time I am posting in this thread...like too many of us I have suffered from mental health issues (depression and anxiety) on and off probably for most of my adult life. Recently I was doing better reducing my medication to tiny dosage and working with a therapist for the last 2 years. A couple of months ago I was told I was made redundant from my job following significant changes in the company despite being amongst top performers.. it became an easy job at the end and had a great team so was a big shock
Decided to look for other internal opportunities in the company, and managed to get another role. Whilst I was initially massively relieved, my anxiety has kicked in now that I am starting the role, with it a significant depression episode. I am angry at myself because I keep telling myself I am one of the lucky ones, but my imposture syndrome has badly impacted me and feeling like I am a fraud and that they will see through me. I am planning to increase medication as currently sleeping about 2 or 3 hours per night with regular panic attacks in the day. It's bloody hard. My wife has been amazing supporting me...regretting having gone for the job and not taking the redundancy which was an amazing package and keep torturing myself...

I’m no stranger to impostor syndrome mate, so I really sympathise with you. Firstly, it sounds like you’ve made a sound decision, re-upping the medication that’s helped you in the past. Along with your existing support structure, that’ll really help, I’m sure.

Secondly, though, I can imagine the number of people laid off meant that there’d have been some competition for that new role. The people you worry will “find you out” have chosen you to do the job. You were a top performer in the old job, so you know you have it in you to succeed. I know it’s wildly insensitive to tell someone suffering with their MH to not overthink something, so I won’t, but just do what you can to let your instincts guide you on this one and you’ll be fine. Look forward to hearing your updates. Good luck!

I'm glad you guys have mentioned this (sorry @Bebeto I'm segueing your problem into mine)...

My company also went through a pretty significant restructure recently, and I was promoted into managing a number of staff in a department I'm not overly familiar with. We work remotely, and the number of times I have come off calls with my new colleagues, boss and/or direct reports having really struggled to understand the goings on has really dented my confidence and imposter syndrome has hit me hard.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

I'm glad you guys have mentioned this (sorry @Bebeto I'm segueing your problem into mine)...

My company also went through a pretty significant restructure recently, and I was promoted into managing a number of staff in a department I'm not overly familiar with. We work remotely, and the number of times I have come off calls with my new colleagues, boss and/or direct reports having really struggled to understand the goings on has really dented my confidence and imposter syndrome has hit me hard.

There’s always gonna be a learning curve mate. That doesn’t make you an impostor, just somebody new to a role with a lot to learn. Be honest with yourself about what you need to learn, work at it and you’ll get there. Again, you were picked for that role for a reason.

Everybody at that level or higher in your (and any) company knew nothing at one point.

 

[Bebeto]

I'm glad you guys have mentioned this (sorry @Bebeto I'm segueing your problem into mine)...

My company also went through a pretty significant restructure recently, and I was promoted into managing a number of staff in a department I'm not overly familiar with. We work remotely, and the number of times I have come off calls with my new colleagues, boss and/or direct reports having really struggled to understand the goings on has really dented my confidence and imposter syndrome has hit me hard.

It's difficult indeed and i can relate...in my case it was a lateral move from a fantastic team I was managing with little to no hands on work, to more of an individual contributor type role (but same grade) where it is expected that I get involved more into the technical aspects in an area I have zero experience in, soI feel under qualified really. The team members in india are of a lower grade, but yet appear to me much more qualified. I feel that it could quickly become embarrassing. I had 3 interviews for this internal role...and probably as you do in those scenarios, you exagerate your impact and knowledge...the fact that I was at risk of redundancy also helped in getting this role as its company policy really to give priority to internal candidates impacted by redundancy vs external candidates. I am still "onboarding" right now...but already thinking of an exit strategy which I know is not the best way really to properly tackle those feelings of imposture syndrome.

 

[Titus Bramble]

It's difficult indeed and i can relate...in my case it was a lateral move from a fantastic team I was managing with little to no hands on work, to more of an individual contributor type role (but same grade) where it is expected that I get involved more into the technical aspects in an area I have zero experience in, soI feel under qualified really. The team members in india are of a lower grade, but yet appear to me much more qualified. I feel that it could quickly become embarrassing. I had 3 interviews for this internal role...and probably as you do in those scenarios, you exagerate your impact and knowledge...the fact that I was at risk of redundancy also helped in getting this role as its company policy really to give priority to internal candidates impacted by redundancy vs external candidates. I am still "onboarding" right now...but already thinking of an exit strategy which I know is not the best way really to properly tackle those feelings of imposture syndrome.

It's a weird thing isn't it? I worked in a specific department for a little over 10 years, starting out in an entry level position and eventually working my way up to departmental manager which I did for 18 months or so.

For reasons, I switched role October last year to a remote working position in a different department. I was thoroughly enjoying it and didn't regret the decision to make the switch at all. It's this department that I am now in the management team.

So for me, I've gone from being one of the most experienced people in the department (and the site) and being font of all knowledge and being able to help all members of the site (including the Site Director and beyond), to managing a team in a department I'm very new too and very heavily reliant on my team to help me out (which they're all more than happy to do... they're a great bunch).

Rationally, I shouldn't be feeling like this. It's all about experience which I'm going to pick up as we go, and there is nobody resenting me or unfairly holding me to account for things, but the human mind doesn't always work rationally does it?

 

[Bebeto]

It's a weird thing isn't it? I worked in a specific department for a little over 10 years, starting out in an entry level position and eventually working my way up to departmental manager which I did for 18 months or so.

For reasons, I switched role October last year to a remote working position in a different department. I was thoroughly enjoying it and didn't regret the decision to make the switch at all. It's this department that I am now in the management team.

So for me, I've gone from being one of the most experienced people in the department (and the site) and being font of all knowledge and being able to help all members of the site (including the Site Director and beyond), to managing a team in a department I'm very new too and very heavily reliant on my team to help me out (which they're all more than happy to do... they're a great bunch).

Rationally, I shouldn't be feeling like this. It's all about experience which I'm going to pick up as we go, and there is nobody resenting me or unfairly holding me to account for things, but the human mind doesn't always work rationally does it?

Very similar to me...entry level, and worked my way up nearly unintentionally within a particular organisation and essentially became the go to person for all it data and processes related questions...now moving to a role outside of my expertise, working with very clever people, within a functional area around audit analytics which I know nothing about...I supposedly knowledgeable in python (that's the slight exageration during the interview process) when in fact I have probably just about basic knowledge heavily reliant on chat gpt. I keep telling myself what's the worst that can happen...ultimately this is just a job...