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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

coollino said:
On the subject of jobs, I might have to sack someone on Monday which I am dreading.

It might end up being the right decision, but it's difficult as the person is really nice and suffers with anxiety but I can see why people above me would rather she is let go. As her manager I have been trying to stick up for her/back her but it has been getting more and more difficult. She is still in her probation and she hasn't been coming into the office, loads of (suspect) sick days which definitely will be down to anxiety but she tends to lie her way out of things which is why I'm struggling to constantly defend her. She said she has just got professional help which hopefully will save her, we'll see. The issue for me is trying to 'keep' her sometimes takes up all of my days with meetings etc which obviously shouldn't happen

My manager said he'd take my place to do it (with the head of HR), if I didn't feel comfortable to do it but I think I should do it really as I don't want to shy away from it really
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Not a very pleasant or easy thing to have to do. You may be able to do it more sympathetically than your manager as you have an understanding of her anxiety issues. Best wishes.💙
 
coollino said:
On the subject of jobs, I might have to sack someone on Monday which I am dreading.

It might end up being the right decision, but it's difficult as the person is really nice and suffers with anxiety but I can see why people above me would rather she is let go. As her manager I have been trying to stick up for her/back her but it has been getting more and more difficult. She is still in her probation and she hasn't been coming into the office, loads of (suspect) sick days which definitely will be down to anxiety but she tends to lie her way out of things which is why I'm struggling to constantly defend her. She said she has just got professional help which hopefully will save her, we'll see. The issue for me is trying to 'keep' her sometimes takes up all of my days with meetings etc which obviously shouldn't happen

My manager said he'd take my place to do it (with the head of HR), if I didn't feel comfortable to do it but I think I should do it really as I don't want to shy away from it really
Click to expand...

I always have to sack people. Keep to the facts, even if they turn it personal, remember that its their own actions that led to this moment. Keep calm, almost monotonous. And if they start ranting , no matter what they say, don't interrupt, let them talk themselves out, then say I understand however the fact it....and state the fact again. Them show then the door.
 
coollino said:
On the subject of jobs, I might have to sack someone on Monday which I am dreading.

It might end up being the right decision, but it's difficult as the person is really nice and suffers with anxiety but I can see why people above me would rather she is let go. As her manager I have been trying to stick up for her/back her but it has been getting more and more difficult. She is still in her probation and she hasn't been coming into the office, loads of (suspect) sick days which definitely will be down to anxiety but she tends to lie her way out of things which is why I'm struggling to constantly defend her. She said she has just got professional help which hopefully will save her, we'll see. The issue for me is trying to 'keep' her sometimes takes up all of my days with meetings etc which obviously shouldn't happen

My manager said he'd take my place to do it (with the head of HR), if I didn't feel comfortable to do it but I think I should do it really as I don't want to shy away from it really
Click to expand...

There's a position which I'm currently managing which may also be made redundant in the next few months, which is a decision currently being discussed over my head.

Similar to you, as and when the time comes I am absolutely bricking it. It's obviously different from sacking someone... I don't know if this would be worse as this is potentially someone losing their livelihood through no fault of their own. I'm hoping the decision is made to keep the position going.
 

Titus Bramble said:
There's a position which I'm currently managing which may also be made redundant in the next few months, which is a decision currently being discussed over my head.

Similar to you, as and when the time comes I am absolutely bricking it. It's obviously different from sacking someone... I don't know if this would be worse as this is potentially someone losing their livelihood through no fault of their own. I'm hoping the decision is made to keep the position going.
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The proverbial poo always rolls downhill in any organisation. Middle management will always get given the rubbish tasks like this, and be told “it’s all part of the job.”

Fingers crossed it doesn’t come to pass, but if it does then absolutely don’t be afraid to show some empathy for them. They’ll know the decision wasn’t yours (even if they may not act like it in the moment) and will appreciate any kindness you’re able to show them at that time.

Good luck!
 
Titus Bramble said:
There's a position which I'm currently managing which may also be made redundant in the next few months, which is a decision currently being discussed over my head.

Similar to you, as and when the time comes I am absolutely bricking it. It's obviously different from sacking someone... I don't know if this would be worse as this is potentially someone losing their livelihood through no fault of their own. I'm hoping the decision is made to keep the position going.
Click to expand...

Jeez that sounds like that would be a tough one, good luck if it ever comes to that but hopefully it won't
 

Dymak said:
I’ve found out what bus I was on (as I didn’t even know that initially). I just hopped on the bus as it was going in the direction I wanted to go in.

So they may be able to check the CCTV of the bus, but it’s too big of a window regarding time, distance, or location for them to check any other CCTV I think.

The sneak theft thing isn’t a total impossibility. It felt like I had it one minute, and then it was gone the next. Although, I think it’s probably unlikely. I think I just left it on the bus ☹️

I guess that’s the excuse that I will be using for work tho! I’ll say that I was on a packed Tube and I think someone nicked it. The problem with that is they will probably expect me to report it to the police.

I’m taking the day off tomorrow, and praying something shows up either tomorrow or the weekend. If nothing has been handed in by Monday Morning, I’ll have to tell them ☹️
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@Dymak how did you get on with this in the end ?
 
COYBL25 said:
@Dymak how did you get on with this in the end ?
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Sorry for the late update. I have been planning to write a big thank you to everyone that helped me out last week! I REALLY appreciated it. You all provided great advice, and perhaps just as importantly, you managed to calm me down a little bit when I absolutely was catastrophising.

So, I found out the name of the company that provided the bus service for TFL. I called them the following morning and I was put through to the people that deal with lost property. And praise be to Jesus, someone had handed my bag in, and the laptop and all of the sensitive information was still in there! I got an Uber down there straight away, and I was able to collect it without my employers knowing that it had ever gone missing!

:celebrate:

I would really like to emphasise just how much I appreciate the advice and support that you provided from both a practical and psychological perspective!

Honestly guys, I PROPER appreciate your support, and I am extremely grateful for your guidance!
 
Also, please accept my sincere apologies for the late update.

It's probably no excuse, but I've been run off my feet with work, and I have just started a new medication called 'Low Dose Naltrexone', which I am taking on top of my adalimumab (Humira) injections.

I'm having mixed results with both medications tbh, there's some pain relief but not even close to eradicating my chronic pain issues. The low dose naltrexone gives me a pure energy boost of a morning, but it makes me feel like I've just run a marathon come the evening. They say this improves after a few weeks, and I've only been on it for just under two weeks, so hopefully I will see some improvements and less side effects soon.
 

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