Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[matty1878]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

sorry
for your loss mate but good you can take from it she was comfortable and looked after x

 

[mccole]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

Condolences man.

 

[larbert toffee]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

Only just read this now Summers, very sorry for your loss.
Loss and grief are strange things and it makes you have a thousand thoughts.
I lost my mum and dad a couple of years ago close together and at the time my coping mechanism was to try and keep them out of my thoughts so now further down the line they've filtered through and I think about them more than ever.
I feel I'm coping as there always seems to be something else to worry about and occupy my thoughts.
I hope you come through your gloom soon mate, you'll have lots of things to organise and keep you busy and as you know we're always on listen if and when you need to share.
My thoughts are with you, it's not the best time but you're still there doing your bit for your stepfather which your mum would be proud of.

 

[Spotty]

An update. I was diagnosed with diabetes the other day after spending all of Friday and most of yesterday in the hospital. I have a calcium problem too, I had bloods taken Thursday evening and then got a call at midnight telling me to get to A&E. They hooked me up to an IV then further bloods tests found my glucose level was very high, diagnosis levels. They think it's likely type 1. I'm 30 years old.

It's been a very hard few days mentally. Feel like my world has been totally upended and will be crap from now on, even though I do luckily have family who are trying to help and reassure me.

Does anyone else have diabetes? I've had to download the LibreLink app and put a sensor on. But now I've gone down the rabbit hole (looking on Google and reading things that scare me about it). In 48 hours I must have looked at my glucose number 150 times since. I can't stop looking , then suffering terrible anxiety when I see it's reading high the bulk of the day (I've been told to only start the once a day insulin needles for now). It's all got me really down tbh.

Anybody else have similar experiences previously and have good advice they'd be willing to share? Thanks.

Paul
A number of my patients have diabetes. I say that because my advice to you is to " educate " yourself about diabetes. That can be hard if your struggling
With your mental health. None the less I suspect it's the unknown that's causing you concern understandably. By educating yourself you are taking back some control this feeling more confident increasing your confidence self esteem etc. Type 1 insulin controlled injections, type 2 diet controlled ( Metformin tablets perhaps and a better diet. ) Diabetes can be reversed Paul but walk before you can run. Eat healthily etc and you'll see improvements. Arm yourself with knowledge Paul the more the better. Your trepidation is very natural but how your diabetes diagnosis affects you really is dependent on you. Knowledge knowledge knowledge. I promise you can live with it. Is it debilitating but so is obesity and smoking. Make good choices Paul and you'll get that peace of mind you need. Good luck Paul, all the best fella and remember: Educate yourself on all things re: the pancreas, food, diet, foods that contain sugar. Etc.
Take care

 

[Spotty]

An update. I was diagnosed with diabetes the other day after spending all of Friday and most of yesterday in the hospital. I have a calcium problem too, I had bloods taken Thursday evening and then got a call at midnight telling me to get to A&E. They hooked me up to an IV then further bloods tests found my glucose level was very high, diagnosis levels. They think it's likely type 1. I'm 30 years old.

It's been a very hard few days mentally. Feel like my world has been totally upended and will be crap from now on, even though I do luckily have family who are trying to help and reassure me.

Does anyone else have diabetes? I've had to download the LibreLink app and put a sensor on. But now I've gone down the rabbit hole (looking on Google and reading things that scare me about it). In 48 hours I must have looked at my glucose number 150 times since. I can't stop looking , then suffering terrible anxiety when I see it's reading high the bulk of the day (I've been told to only start the once a day insulin needles for now). It's all got me really down tbh.

Anybody else have similar experiences previously and have good advice they'd be willing to share? Thanks.

Paul
A number of my patients have diabetes. I say that because my advice to you is to " educate " yourself about diabetes. That can be hard if your struggling
With your mental health. None the less I suspect it's the unknown that's causing you concern understandably. By educating yourself you are taking back some control this feeling more confident increasing your confidence self esteem etc. Type 1 insulin controlled injections, type 2 diet controlled ( Metformin tablets perhaps and a better diet. ) Diabetes can be reversed Paul but walk before you can run. Eat healthily etc and you'll see improvements. Arm yourself with knowledge Paul the more the better. Your trepidation is very natural but how your diabetes diagnosis affects you really is dependent on you. Knowledge knowledge knowledge. I promise you can live with it. Is it debilitating but so is obesity and smoking. Make good choices Paul and you'll get that peace of mind you need. Good luck Paul, all the best fella and remember: Educate yourself on all things re: the pancreas, food, diet, foods that contain sugar. Etc.
Take care

 

[Spotty]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

My words are meaningless because we all grieve differently. I've enclosed a link that may prove helpful.

How grief can impact mental health - Hammersmith, Fulham, Ealing and Hounslow Mind

Grief can be very difficult to deal with, and can have a major impact on our mental health. We look at ways to cope with grief.

www.hfehmind.org.uk

I've lost my mum and dad when they were just 53 and 54. I felt very angry, questioned my faith and metaphorically speaking beat myself up for not being a better son. It really does affect us differently and despite the academics - Kubler Ross 5 stages of grief for example - I believe it's nonsense. Support from loved ones and friends is the best remedy imo. Take care and I hope you find some peace of mind.

 

[Gwladysover]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

So very sorry for your loss. I hope that you can take comfort in happy memories of your Mum. Take care of yourself.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Had a difficult time with myself of late.

Currently low on staff due to various and equally genuine reasons on work, some bereavement, some cancer treatment. Thankfully all is well with my friends there, they just need recovery time.

I’m also doing my masters in Advanced Clinical Practice. I’m known for my laid back and cool manner but I’m human, and it’s taken it’s toll.

The last few weeks I’ve not wanted to do anything and this culminated on Sunday. In the mid 90’s I was heavily into many bands such as Queen before they were hip, ZZ Top and Ugly Kid Joe amongst others. I’m not fashionable now and I wasn’t then but I don’t care!

This last Sunday I went to see Ugly Kid Joe in town. Yes they’re still going, and no, although I often say I’ll ban everyone, I don’t Hate Everything About You. I had wanted to see them for about the same time as we last won a trophy but I was suffering terribly up top.

To cut a long story short, I forced myself to go and I’m so bloody glad I did. Just an appeal to those who want to hide away - I understand completely but it’s not the thing to do. I piped up to the wife and fulfilled a longstanding dream of mine. And no, Everton don’t help sometimes.


They were boss by the way.

Just catching up with this thread. Sorry you are/ we're feeling so down. Live music is amazing- whatever it is. It lifts the soul and brightens the mood. So glad you went x

 

[Bryan+]

Some may know intimately what happened to me a while ago, it’s nearly 2.5 years and I’m just now starting to to feel human again, I’m having lots of medical support to keep me going, I have neglected my health and I am paying a price for it now.


My advice, look after yourself- it’s expensive I know, it’s even more expensive if you don’t.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Lifestyle change for me i suppose. Had a heart attack last tuesday night. Made it to hospital with chest pains. Had all the tests. Bit of of a shock when told it was an actual heart attack. Im quite an active person with walking and riding bikes. Do like a drink and a smoke but nothing heavy.
Had the dye put through and stent put in friday.
Makes you think how quick things can change. Told Doctor im convinced Everton contributed lol.
Oh well. Not gone yet.

So glad you got to hospital swiftly. I hope the op to put the stent in went well.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

So sorry about your Mum. Sending hugs x

 

[Tommy Chong]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

Sorry to hear about your loss mate... My condolences.

 

[Goodison87]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

Hi Summers,

My thoughts are with you and your family. I send you my condolences. I’ve shared your experience twice with my parents over the last few years and honestly understand how you must be feeling. Leaves a big hole in your life.

The in case moments are intense, indeed.

Hope you take things easy over the coming weeks and hope you take care. All the best, John.

 

[Exeter_Gently]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

Sorry to hear this mate.X

 

[brieverton]

My mother died last Friday ; not totally expected as she was 91 (her birthday was the next day.) The usual emotions, as you would expect, have followed. We brought her home for the last month so she could die in her familiar surroundings, as she wished. It was a slow decline, with unfortunately a rather distressing ending.

I can't speak highly enough of the the medical professionals who cared for her in her final days : her doctor, available 24 hours a day ; the care workers who washed and changed her, and the Macmillan nurses who gave comfort and solace both before and after her death.

The NHS comes in for a lot of criticism, but from this experience I am, to be honest, overawed by the care shown. A large amount of medicines, personal clothing, food, a bed with bedding were provided, free of charge. Labour had better be aware of any radical changes to the care offered to people who are are in their last days of life. I don't know how I would have coped, not only with the care shown, but the expense of the help offered, all free. They should walk very carefully indeed in their zealous pursuit of 'reforms '.

It's been difficult in the following days. Her husband, my stepfather, is 90 and himself not in the best of health. Sympathetic telephone calls, visitors and bereavement cards just add to his despair. He had a fall the day after the death so can't really do much around the house, so I cook his meals and generally look after him. It's not if I'm alone, siblings and friends come to visit and he puts on a veneer of normality. Once were alone it's another matter. A gloom descends upon the house, and it's not easy to cope with. To be honest I can only see one outcome in the coming weeks/months.

I'm a total atheist but something really eerie happened in the last week of my mother's life which has thrown me a touch. She had a personal alarm which she could press which would alert me that she needed something. All three occasions occurred at 03.00 a.m.

The first strange happening was when she pressed the alarm and said, " The train's here but I don't want to get on it. "

A couple of days later she said, " I've missed the train, when is the next one ? "

Then, just before she died, she said, " I've caught the train and it's moving. "

She was on morphine (kept the bottle for my dotage) but only for the preceding day of her life. Maybe it was the fevered dreams due to her condition that made her hallucinate, but there's a nagging feeling...

I've received all the well meaning platitudes from well meaning people, but it does get you down a bit when gloom envelopes you, and you look forward to going to the shop for half an hour, but no longer because you have to get back, in case...

I am so sorry to read this.

My thoughts are with you.

I wish you peace and strength.