MrD
Player Valuation: £10m
TL;DR - over protective dad has no say in anything, feels worthless, i take it so personal, treated like a babysitter, wondering if over protective is really over sensitive = stress and hopelessness and concern
Hello everyone, this is just a daft thing probably but it affects me more than it probably should,
My little girl is an amazingly loving, caring, funny, kind and very clever girl but she has a habbit of being easily distracted in school. Today was another parent/teacher meeting to discus how she's doing, as expected the topic of her being distracted arose.
Teachers now a days won't mention or even hint at how other kids are but i feel like when he mentioned my daughter being distracted it just gives me the impression (or maybe i'm just over thinking it) that the other 30 kids in class are sitting quietly and being well behaved and working hard but my daughter is like some sort of screaming banshee wreaking havoc on all the good kids.
Now i know at 8 years old that most of the class will be distracted and often misbehave, but how i take hearing it and how it's aimed (or seemingly aimed) at my 8 year old it just makes me feel like she is broken and i've F'd her up. i feel defensive, protective but also very sad that she just won't learn not to mess about in school. When we talk to her about it she gets upset because she doesn't like realising she's been "naughty" and she agrees to try to do better, but then as soon as she goes to school she starts focusing more on what others are doing.
Anyway, today the teacher suggested she should wear ear defenders in class just to stop her listening to what everyone else is doing, i kinda just said out of politeness "yeah we could do, don't know really" even though i knew right away i didn't want her to be singled out and give other kids an excuse to pick on her.
All evening i've been worrying that i should have just said no to him, i don't want him or anyone treating her like she's a nuisance and having her singled out. so i got stressed over her, i'm protective, worried and i just don't know how i'm supposed to react.
i spoke to her mum about it and she agreed not to allow the ear defenders but then she never shuts up about how my feelings about our daughter are just projections and that my awful childhood and the memories i have of being treated like a freak even though i did nothing wrong are not valid.
So, my usual thing is i panic, get anxious and all the rest of it, but i'll be awake all night. i'll be tired and sad and i worry for my daughter as though she's being singled out.
sorry for the long yet hopefully coherent post, i wish i said no to the bloody ear defenders, wish i didn't have to be treated like a baby sitter by my ex and i just want my kid to grow up not feeling like she's broken when she really isn't. in my head she's just an 8 year old being an 8 year old. But it seems now a days that if your 8 year old isn't already in uni or curing an illness then they're a failure....i'm so so so proud of her and i love her so much, but my over protective side and how little my opinion matters really gets to me.
When my ex wants extra shifts in work, i'm great, super convenient, when she needs a lift or something fixing then i'm super handy but how i feel is completely disregarded, for the past 8 years i've felt like a babysitter and it's getting worse.
I can't say anything to the ex because she's one of those women who starts saying i won't get to see my kid if she doesn't like what i say. Sorry lads, stupid post that's not really about anything life or death, i just want my kid to not be labelled yet people seem to want to label any kid who isn't perfect.
When she's with me she's great, when she's with her mum she is a bit more hard work, so of course, that means she has ADHD, and a raft of other things just because she cried after she fell over or something.
When i tell my ex our kid doesn't do anything like that with me, she's so well behaved and awesome to be around she just throws it away like i'm either lying, or i'm the problem. i've got a lot on my plate right now, and everything makes me feel like a failure, feeling like, and being treated like a failure of a dad really upsets me tho....and i want my normal and average 8 year old not to painted with the mad brush.
also, just for no reason other than it broke me earlier this evening, my daughter wrote me the most beautiful letter saying i'm the best dad in the world and that we will always have each other. made me cry.
Hello everyone, this is just a daft thing probably but it affects me more than it probably should,
My little girl is an amazingly loving, caring, funny, kind and very clever girl but she has a habbit of being easily distracted in school. Today was another parent/teacher meeting to discus how she's doing, as expected the topic of her being distracted arose.
Teachers now a days won't mention or even hint at how other kids are but i feel like when he mentioned my daughter being distracted it just gives me the impression (or maybe i'm just over thinking it) that the other 30 kids in class are sitting quietly and being well behaved and working hard but my daughter is like some sort of screaming banshee wreaking havoc on all the good kids.
Now i know at 8 years old that most of the class will be distracted and often misbehave, but how i take hearing it and how it's aimed (or seemingly aimed) at my 8 year old it just makes me feel like she is broken and i've F'd her up. i feel defensive, protective but also very sad that she just won't learn not to mess about in school. When we talk to her about it she gets upset because she doesn't like realising she's been "naughty" and she agrees to try to do better, but then as soon as she goes to school she starts focusing more on what others are doing.
Anyway, today the teacher suggested she should wear ear defenders in class just to stop her listening to what everyone else is doing, i kinda just said out of politeness "yeah we could do, don't know really" even though i knew right away i didn't want her to be singled out and give other kids an excuse to pick on her.
All evening i've been worrying that i should have just said no to him, i don't want him or anyone treating her like she's a nuisance and having her singled out. so i got stressed over her, i'm protective, worried and i just don't know how i'm supposed to react.
i spoke to her mum about it and she agreed not to allow the ear defenders but then she never shuts up about how my feelings about our daughter are just projections and that my awful childhood and the memories i have of being treated like a freak even though i did nothing wrong are not valid.
So, my usual thing is i panic, get anxious and all the rest of it, but i'll be awake all night. i'll be tired and sad and i worry for my daughter as though she's being singled out.
sorry for the long yet hopefully coherent post, i wish i said no to the bloody ear defenders, wish i didn't have to be treated like a baby sitter by my ex and i just want my kid to grow up not feeling like she's broken when she really isn't. in my head she's just an 8 year old being an 8 year old. But it seems now a days that if your 8 year old isn't already in uni or curing an illness then they're a failure....i'm so so so proud of her and i love her so much, but my over protective side and how little my opinion matters really gets to me.
When my ex wants extra shifts in work, i'm great, super convenient, when she needs a lift or something fixing then i'm super handy but how i feel is completely disregarded, for the past 8 years i've felt like a babysitter and it's getting worse.
I can't say anything to the ex because she's one of those women who starts saying i won't get to see my kid if she doesn't like what i say. Sorry lads, stupid post that's not really about anything life or death, i just want my kid to not be labelled yet people seem to want to label any kid who isn't perfect.
When she's with me she's great, when she's with her mum she is a bit more hard work, so of course, that means she has ADHD, and a raft of other things just because she cried after she fell over or something.
When i tell my ex our kid doesn't do anything like that with me, she's so well behaved and awesome to be around she just throws it away like i'm either lying, or i'm the problem. i've got a lot on my plate right now, and everything makes me feel like a failure, feeling like, and being treated like a failure of a dad really upsets me tho....and i want my normal and average 8 year old not to painted with the mad brush.
also, just for no reason other than it broke me earlier this evening, my daughter wrote me the most beautiful letter saying i'm the best dad in the world and that we will always have each other. made me cry.