Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Russian Evertonian said:
A letter from Coral:

Dear Sergei

Unfortunately we are sorry to advise you that we will not be progressing your application further. After careful consideration, we decided that there were other candidates whose key skills and experience better suited the position.
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You know, when I left school & started writing letters for jobs...yes, that long ago...I'd probably get a response from one in ten. Back then, in order to maintain receiving the dole, you had to prove that you had been applying for roles. So, I kept the letters I got back, in case I was ever asked for tangible proof.

At the time, I thought "I'll keep these to prove them wrong one day"... Anyway, I held onto those letters for years, even after I had a career spanning over 17 years. One day, I was looking at them & thought, "Why do I still have these?" Even if the people that sent them did care, they wouldn't even remember them if I fronted up to them. I dumped them all.

My point here is that you just move on to the next role. If they don't require your services then maybe you don't want to work there.

By no means am I reading into your post that you have any animosity towards them, but it reminded me of this period of my life. As others have said, move on to the next job & keep at it.
 
TheAlmightyFloater said:
Counselling seems to be the best and worst option for me. I am by nature a very private person (even posting in this thread makes me itch) so talking about it seems terrible.
At the same time I realise that talking about it first is probably better than diving straight into meds and may even resolve issues without the need to take it further.

My uni probably offers free counselling too, although I'd probably be lucky to get one or two sessions booked before my course ends in April.
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Defo try out /check out what your uni has to offer, especially as its free. I've dealt with depression for a while now but didn't do anything about it until my 3rd year of uni. Decided to go to the mental health center on campus, where they actually diagnosed me ( although I was pretty sure I was depressed and also a psychology major anyways! I have dysthymia fwiw). Anyways I had a few initial appointments then started 1 on 1 therapy with a counselor which I continued with for almost about a year and a half which helped a decent bit. Also did group therapy my last semester which was quite awkward at first but was a nice experience talking and relating to others (sort of like this thread really). About 6 months in I decided to ask about medication and the counselor I was seeing said it was an option we could try as it could give me a boost to help with some of the other things we were working on. I first was put on Lexapro (I also had some anxiety) but had awful side effects so stopped it after a week), I then tried zoloft which helped me quite a bit a first but over time and despite increased dosages it seemed to stop working. So I decided to stop taking it and just work on some of the things I learned in therapy.

If you managed to get through that rambling mess, first I applaud you, and secondly my point is seeing what your uni offers is worth it from my experience. Now that ive been out of uni for 7 months or so I do miss the free counseling!
 
USABlue said:
Defo try out /check out what your uni has to offer, especially as its free. I've dealt with depression for a while now but didn't do anything about it until my 3rd year of uni. Decided to go to the mental health center on campus, where they actually diagnosed me ( although I was pretty sure I was depressed and also a psychology major anyways! I have dysthymia fwiw). Anyways I had a few initial appointments then started 1 on 1 therapy with a counselor which I continued with for almost about a year and a half which helped a decent bit. Also did group therapy my last semester which was quite awkward at first but was a nice experience talking and relating to others (sort of like this thread really). About 6 months in I decided to ask about medication and the counselor I was seeing said it was an option we could try as it could give me a boost to help with some of the other things we were working on. I first was put on Lexapro (I also had some anxiety) but had awful side effects so stopped it after a week), I then tried zoloft which helped me quite a bit a first but over time and despite increased dosages it seemed to stop working. So I decided to stop taking it and just work on some of the things I learned in therapy.

If you managed to get through that rambling mess, first I applaud you, and secondly my point is seeing what your uni offers is worth it from my experience. Now that ive been out of uni for 7 months or so I do miss the free counseling!
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Thanks for the info! I'll look into what my uni offers and discuss it with the doctor. She might recommend an NHS therapist (still free!) rather than the uni one but we'll see what happens.
 

TheAlmightyFloater said:
Thanks for the info! I'll look into what my uni offers and discuss it with the doctor. She might recommend an NHS therapist (still free!) rather than the uni one but we'll see what happens.
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As @Lowste says take the Uni therapist if one is available. It'll be much quicker and I should imagine that any therapist provided by the Uni will be well versed in the mental health problems of young people / students .
 
Srs q:

How do I distinguish between the possibility of myself having depression or the possibility of me just being a pu$sy? I often think "harden the f-up you'll be right" yet the sadness is ongoing. I'd much rather constantly "harden the f-up" then to seek professional help. My confusion here stems from the fact that I'm not convinced my 'hardness' is the/an issue, but it could be!

Thx in advance
 
Darkhorse said:
Srs q:

How do I distinguish between the possibility of myself having depression or the possibility of me just being a pu$sy? I often think "harden the f-up you'll be right" yet the sadness is ongoing. I'd much rather constantly "harden the f-up" then to seek professional help. My confusion here stems from the fact that I'm not convinced my 'hardness' is the/an issue, but it could be!

Thx in advance
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I'm far from an expert mate, but i'm not a believer in the 'i'm being too soft and should deal with it' mindset.

If you are sensitive to something or someone then regardless of the word 'depression' you need to make steps to deal with it. It could be something very small to someone else, but it isn't about anyone else other than you.

Making steps might be venting, speaking to a GP, avoiding the situation...whatever it is to make you feel better. Once you feel better you can then start to think more logically about what exactly it is that makes you feel that way and proactive steps which would help you on a more long-term basis.

I'd say the immediate steps are to, even just yourself, admit that something - however small - is causing you to feel a bit crappy.

I, as are others, am/are here as a soundboard if you want to chat things through further. I am only sure of one thing, you're not being a jessie.
 

Darkhorse said:
Srs q:

How do I distinguish between the possibility of myself having depression or the possibility of me just being a pu$sy? I often think "harden the f-up you'll be right" yet the sadness is ongoing. I'd much rather constantly "harden the f-up" then to seek professional help. My confusion here stems from the fact that I'm not convinced my 'hardness' is the/an issue, but it could be!

Thx in advance
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The " harden up / pull yourself " together attitude is why so many men in particular suffer in silence mate. Think of depression / anxiety / mental illness as the same as any other illness. Your head can " break " same as a finger. The difference being is that you / everyone else can see a broken bone and understand what it is.

There's loads of stuff online mate, but a good starting point would be - " do you have less energy, do you enjoy things less than you use to, is it particularly bad in the morning, do you avoid certain social situations etc ".

It's nothing to ba ashamed of mate.
 
Darkhorse said:
Srs q:

How do I distinguish between the possibility of myself having depression or the possibility of me just being a pu$sy? I often think "harden the f-up you'll be right" yet the sadness is ongoing. I'd much rather constantly "harden the f-up" then to seek professional help. My confusion here stems from the fact that I'm not convinced my 'hardness' is the/an issue, but it could be!

Thx in advance
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Believe me mate one of the hardest things you will ever do is take the first step in making an appointment for the GP, then walking through the door will be another hard step....after that you will reap the rewards and benefits of proper help.
I think you have taken a big step in posting on here, so I guess you have beaten the approach you have of hardening up.
In talking to the GP and getting help, believe me you will feel a weight lifting of your shoulders, as sharing the problem will always relieve this weight.
If you work for a decent company they may have something in place for free couselling, if they do take advantage of it as it may help in more ways than you could ever imagine
My only advice is do it now, don't wait, don't think it is being pu$sy, think of you and the people close to you
Also don't think you are the only person in the world who is encountering what you are going through....

Good luck
 
COYBL25 said:
The " harden up / pull yourself " together attitude is why so many men in particular suffer in silence mate. Think of depression / anxiety / mental illness as the same as any other illness. Your head can " break " same as a finger. The difference being is that you / everyone else can see a broken bone and understand what it is.

There's loads of stuff online mate, but a good starting point would be - " do you have less energy, do you enjoy things less than you use to, is it particularly bad in the morning, do you avoid certain social situations etc ".

It's nothing to ba ashamed of mate.
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Good post as well as others who responded to him! Just to add I felt the same way at first with the whole "just man up and get over" thoughts, but like others have mentioned it's just as much of an illness as the more physical ones you get. It took me a while to admit it to myself because I felt if I got help that would be me giving up and letting it beat me while ironically getting help was the opposite of that
 
Cheers lads. The responses have helped confirm what I probably already knew; my hardness is not at fault. Alike many here I’m extremely private and independent so seeking help is a challenge but at least, at the very least, I now recognise the problem. This might sound naive but wondering to myself: “If my condition isn’t bad enough to be diagnosed with depression then I can’t imagine how bad a spot you’ve got to be in to qualify” reinforced the reality. Its borderline treacherous how such an illness does not discriminate; no one in a million years would pick me as having, 'tis a bit of a silent killer ay. Thanks for the replies
 

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