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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

USABlue said:
having a bit of an very unexpected rough go of things atm. I had been in a bad patch for quite some time since the new year but managed to get a job interview about a month ago or so ago. I was nervous but very excited about it, the interview went well and I got the job. I thought managing to get a full time position in the field I studied in would be just the thing to give me a lift. However as the new employee orientation went on I got a bit concerned which is where some more back story comes in.

I have been dealing with depression since midway through highschool/(whatever is right before Uni in europe) and went to Uni with no idea what field I was looking to study but took a few psych classes early on and loved it, plus I felt I hated how I felt dealing with a mental illness so I thought it'd be good to go into that field and try to help others who are going through similar. That's where I think I've made a mistake.

The job I got was working at a psychiatric hospital and it seems to be a very poor fit considering my own issues. I feel massively anxious the entire time I'm there which is a feeling I've never had before (despite the long term depression I've never had any general anxiety). I talked to my supervisor and a guy from HR about it and they were understanding about it all (asking if there's anything they can do on their end) and were honest about it sometimes not being for everyone ( the HR guy actually studied psych as well but ended up doing HR for the city for a long time before coming to the hospital). They just said if my feeling of unease/anxiety is coming from personal issues that it's up to me to decide if it's something I can adjust to or overcome and to take my time and keep them updated.

I just don't know what to do as if I leave I'll basically be admitting I wasted 4 years. As of right now I'm planning to keep showing up for a week or so just to be certain it's not "new job/place" anxiety although I don't think is as I've had new unfamiliar jobs in the past and this is a totally different feeling.
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I don't know your age but would guess at 20's, without being a smart A let me give you the benefit of perspective.

I was 45 and recently made redundant, I got a few bob but nothing life changing in a big way, call it 6mths money, anyway we went to NZ and things were a bit of a struggle, I had the chance to train for a better job but didn't, I stupidly thought I was too old and by the time I was up to speed I would be nearly 50...so I didn't bother... what a 'kin waste

Short version; take the long view.

PS; I re emigrated at age 60 to Australia and made more money in 5yrs than I ever did in15 in NZ

moral; you're a long time dead, stop worrying about it, get on and live life one day at a time.

not exactly the official gospel, but sometimes you have to just get on with it. It will work out, time is on your side
 
Well you're stuck with me for a bit longer i'm afraid. Meeting went ok and the prognosis is in months now not weeks.
We talked about various things that we can do nearer the time, chemo, medication etc. Funny thing is the only " cure " is radiotherapy but I have had so much of it that anymore would kill me before the cancer did. I have agreed to be referred to the local hospice, I was against this at first but like we have always preached on here, why not just try it at least, see what they have to offer and make my mind up then. I have had some more medication to help ease my pains discomforts etc.
So onwards we go, got a fundraiser next weekend which is keeping me busy, Dennis Lawrence was helping me get stuff to raffle/auction but that went out of the window lol, I contacted the club and they were quite prompt in raising a case number for me but said it takes about 6 weeks so can't get anything from them. If anyone on here is from the Wrexham area feel free to pop in to the travellers rest, Hightown 29.5.16
enough of my rambling, plenty of time for that later.
 
wbn61 said:
Well you're stuck with me for a bit longer i'm afraid. Meeting went ok and the prognosis is in months now not weeks.
We talked about various things that we can do nearer the time, chemo, medication etc. Funny thing is the only " cure " is radiotherapy but I have had so much of it that anymore would kill me before the cancer did. I have agreed to be referred to the local hospice, I was against this at first but like we have always preached on here, why not just try it at least, see what they have to offer and make my mind up then. I have had some more medication to help ease my pains discomforts etc.
So onwards we go, got a fundraiser next weekend which is keeping me busy, Dennis Lawrence was helping me get stuff to raffle/auction but that went out of the window lol, I contacted the club and they were quite prompt in raising a case number for me but said it takes about 6 weeks so can't get anything from them. If anyone on here is from the Wrexham area feel free to pop in to the travellers rest, Hightown 29.5.16
enough of my rambling, plenty of time for that later.
Click to expand...

Hi matey your attitude is nothing short of astounding! Good luck with the fundraiser and keep on popping here mate for a chit chat
 
wbn61 said:
Well you're stuck with me for a bit longer i'm afraid. Meeting went ok and the prognosis is in months now not weeks.
We talked about various things that we can do nearer the time, chemo, medication etc. Funny thing is the only " cure " is radiotherapy but I have had so much of it that anymore would kill me before the cancer did. I have agreed to be referred to the local hospice, I was against this at first but like we have always preached on here, why not just try it at least, see what they have to offer and make my mind up then. I have had some more medication to help ease my pains discomforts etc.
So onwards we go, got a fundraiser next weekend which is keeping me busy, Dennis Lawrence was helping me get stuff to raffle/auction but that went out of the window lol, I contacted the club and they were quite prompt in raising a case number for me but said it takes about 6 weeks so can't get anything from them. If anyone on here is from the Wrexham area feel free to pop in to the travellers rest, Hightown 29.5.16
enough of my rambling, plenty of time for that later.
Click to expand...

Good for you mate. When I read your posts they make me realise how precious time really is and how we take it for granted too.

As many have said already, keep on posting, your strength is amazing.
 

USABlue said:
Yeah im trying to look around but sadly all im qualified for is this. If it wasnt about to be summer i could just go back to substitute teaching as thats what i was doing previoudly. Have to find something for the summer
Click to expand...

It'll probably take time and it won't be easy but I'm sure you'll find something you like. Your time at uni won't have been a waste if you've learned more about yourself, a few interesting things about the world and made even but one decent mate along the way.

I'm just about to finish uni, myself. Defo not going to get a job in my field of study, got a summer job in the US but after that I have no idea what I'm going to do. I think your early 20s are meant to be sh!te haha.
 
Forgot to mention something that brought a smile and a tear to my eye today, my 4 1/2 yr old grand daughter did one of those cancer race for life days in school yesterday and she had to come and see me and show me her medal and certificate " I raced for my taid " . She wanted me to put it on my wall. The joy, naivety and innocence of children just makes things worthwhile.
 
wbn61 said:
Well you're stuck with me for a bit longer i'm afraid. Meeting went ok and the prognosis is in months now not weeks.
We talked about various things that we can do nearer the time, chemo, medication etc. Funny thing is the only " cure " is radiotherapy but I have had so much of it that anymore would kill me before the cancer did. I have agreed to be referred to the local hospice, I was against this at first but like we have always preached on here, why not just try it at least, see what they have to offer and make my mind up then. I have had some more medication to help ease my pains discomforts etc.
So onwards we go, got a fundraiser next weekend which is keeping me busy, Dennis Lawrence was helping me get stuff to raffle/auction but that went out of the window lol, I contacted the club and they were quite prompt in raising a case number for me but said it takes about 6 weeks so can't get anything from them. If anyone on here is from the Wrexham area feel free to pop in to the travellers rest, Hightown 29.5.16
enough of my rambling, plenty of time for that later.
Click to expand...
Good. Just good. ;)
 

USABlue said:
having a bit of an very unexpected rough go of things atm. I had been in a bad patch for quite some time since the new year but managed to get a job interview about a month ago or so ago. I was nervous but very excited about it, the interview went well and I got the job. I thought managing to get a full time position in the field I studied in would be just the thing to give me a lift. However as the new employee orientation went on I got a bit concerned which is where some more back story comes in.

I have been dealing with depression since midway through highschool/(whatever is right before Uni in europe) and went to Uni with no idea what field I was looking to study but took a few psych classes early on and loved it, plus I felt I hated how I felt dealing with a mental illness so I thought it'd be good to go into that field and try to help others who are going through similar. That's where I think I've made a mistake.

The job I got was working at a psychiatric hospital and it seems to be a very poor fit considering my own issues. I feel massively anxious the entire time I'm there which is a feeling I've never had before (despite the long term depression I've never had any general anxiety). I talked to my supervisor and a guy from HR about it and they were understanding about it all (asking if there's anything they can do on their end) and were honest about it sometimes not being for everyone ( the HR guy actually studied psych as well but ended up doing HR for the city for a long time before coming to the hospital). They just said if my feeling of unease/anxiety is coming from personal issues that it's up to me to decide if it's something I can adjust to or overcome and to take my time and keep them updated.

I just don't know what to do as if I leave I'll basically be admitting I wasted 4 years. As of right now I'm planning to keep showing up for a week or so just to be certain it's not "new job/place" anxiety although I don't think is as I've had new unfamiliar jobs in the past and this is a totally different feeling.
Click to expand...
Hi mate I was made redundant a few months back, but on the day I was leaving I got offered a job in the Company. Leading up to all of this I went through 12 - 18mths of very testing times. I now realised I was most probably bullied, not in the physical manner but in the mental manner, little by little my confidence and self esteem we picked at which resulted in me having neither. I honestly thought when I got the new job everything would be great again.....it isn't.
I have still struggled with confidence and self esteem, but littl by little it is coming back, it feels an age in coming back but getting there.
In your position you just need to take baby steps, talking with people will help and facing these anxietys will also help....but just remember don't expect too much to quick, it will improve but it will take time.

Also when you are well ang good, you will look at things differently. In my case there are things that just don't matter now as they are not really important

Take care and look for the positives....they are there
 
It's been a long time since I last posted in this thread, it really is fantastic for providing support for those who need it.
I guess I'm posting here because in large patches over the last year and a half, I've felt an overwhelming ennui about uni and life in general.
It first came about last year, when my friends and support groups at uni simultaneously fell apart as they all dropped out of uni. The uni class is very big and very friendly, but I found myself on the fringes without anyone I felt I actually was closeish too. I knew most people and could say hi and have a conversation, but was on the fringes of the social cliques that had been formed. I somehow scraped through my exams and the summer break was much better, I got a job with one of my best mates and felt as though I actually had a purpose.
That carried me through to about March this year and I was feeling much more engaged and enjoying my course when my closest mate went through some real financial and family issues and has point blank refused to talk about it or even talk to us, causing my mates and the friendship there-in to all fall apart. Now it's like deja vu, and I'm finding myself falling into that disengagement in life and uni again.
 

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