Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

PaulieMc said:
Hello folks, I've got another update.

I interviewed for a job today and got it! Over the moon, it's exactly the sort of thing I think will suit me and the shift patterns are far better than they were in the previous place.

The bloke who interviewed me was a really sound bloke who made me feel comfortable straight away which I appreciated. Normally whenever I got to interviews I'm a big of nerves (like most people I guess) but I'm so bad I let it destroy my belief in myself and it normally comes across but today was different. The guy and me got a rapport going straight away and we had a good chat not just about the position as well but about the blues of all things and we enjoyed a giggle about the RS last night, hopefully it's a sign he's a good boss and I'll get on well with him. As I've said previously, the people in the last place were just downright horrible, miserable people and I was going like them. I became a complete wreck whilst working there and for too long was too scared to just walk away, I'm a timid person naturally but I became so beaten down and depressed that I finally came to understand what the phrase "I'm turning into somebody I really don't like" means.

The biggest lesson I've learned over the past few months is you've got to stand up for yourself, you've got to show people that you're not a walk-over or somebody then can treat however they like. The greatest feeling ever was telling them to stick it and over the past few weeks I haven't regretted it one bit and now with this new job I feel I can start my new chapter now (and I have a feeling this one is going to be FAR better).

To anyone else who feeling beaten down or like they're stuck in a miserable place, please don't lose faith in yourself. Things will get better if you show the bravery to face whatever problems you're having head on, don't let them (the inner demons) win!

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Good for you mate.

I'd love to have that feeling! I moved up to Newcastle 8 years ago with my wife and just had an endless string of rejections ever since. So demoralising. I've been working and earning in that time but I'm not earning enough. Got 2 young kids and the childcare fees are crippling us financially. Don't know how we're going to pay the bills over the next year or so. Just feel like a massive failure to be honest.
 

wbn61 said:
just going through the same problem with my wife. she has such a low opinion of herself and is struggling with work issues, taking everything personally, thinks they are using her, feels uncomfortable etc so I can understand what you may be going through
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COYBL25 said:
Cheers mate, one of the things that I remember most that someone said to me about anxiety is " you become worried about bring worried " and eventually you're brain gets stuck in that programme.

Something is the trigger, it's finding it and dealing within it that's the hard part.

A naturally occurring steroid - Cortisol, can cause a lot of anxiety problems. It's normally released gently in the morining as part of the waking process, however under periods of extreme and prolonged stress it can be released in bucket loads as part of " fight or flight process " and your brain keeps on producing on excess every time your stressed .

You're probably aware of this with your job etc, but may be worth looking at to help you understand what's going on in your head ?
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Thanks again for the messages! Sadly im concerned that working in the psych hospital is the trigger itself as i never experienced this feeling in other jobs. Part of me says i should just suck it up and put the job first but on the other hand "sucking it up/getting over it" is what led me down this path to begin with and i dont want to internalize things to the point where i could end up breaking down and ending up in a place like where i work myself
 
USABlue said:
Thanks again for the messages! Sadly im concerned that working in the psych hospital is the trigger itself as i never experienced this feeling in other jobs. Part of me says i should just suck it up and put the job first but on the other hand "sucking it up/getting over it" is what led me down this path to begin with and i dont want to internalize things to the point where i could end up breaking down and ending up in a place like where i work myself
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Could you not step sideways within the hospital, changing your role, but staying within the sphere of your speciality ?
 
tim cahill said:
Good for you mate.

I'd love to have that feeling! I moved up to Newcastle 8 years ago with my wife and just had an endless string of rejections ever since. So demoralising. I've been working and earning in that time but I'm not earning enough. Got 2 young kids and the childcare fees are crippling us financially. Don't know how we're going to pay the bills over the next year or so. Just feel like a massive failure to be honest.
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You're not a failure mate, please don't ever tell yourself that. Failures are the type of people would bail on their wife and kids in your situation. We all have to deal with bad times and sometimes the stress of worrying about the future gets so bad we end up having dark thoughts. Never let anything make you give up on yourself or your loved ones. Feel free to PM if you'd like to talk privately? If not then just remember, me and all the other folks of this great forum are always here to lend an ear and offer any advice we can and the same is true with your friends and family. Don't bottle it all up, it only makes it worse.
 
COYBL25 said:
Could you not step sideways within the hospital, changing your role, but staying within the sphere of your speciality ?
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Unfortunately not as ive only recently graduated and the role im currently in is entry level. Its either stick it out or move on unfortunately. Planning on giving it a week, possibly end of the month to see if the anxiety passes or becomes manageable
 

USABlue said:
having a bit of an very unexpected rough go of things atm. I had been in a bad patch for quite some time since the new year but managed to get a job interview about a month ago or so ago. I was nervous but very excited about it, the interview went well and I got the job. I thought managing to get a full time position in the field I studied in would be just the thing to give me a lift. However as the new employee orientation went on I got a bit concerned which is where some more back story comes in.

I have been dealing with depression since midway through highschool/(whatever is right before Uni in europe) and went to Uni with no idea what field I was looking to study but took a few psych classes early on and loved it, plus I felt I hated how I felt dealing with a mental illness so I thought it'd be good to go into that field and try to help others who are going through similar. That's where I think I've made a mistake.

The job I got was working at a psychiatric hospital and it seems to be a very poor fit considering my own issues. I feel massively anxious the entire time I'm there which is a feeling I've never had before (despite the long term depression I've never had any general anxiety). I talked to my supervisor and a guy from HR about it and they were understanding about it all (asking if there's anything they can do on their end) and were honest about it sometimes not being for everyone ( the HR guy actually studied psych as well but ended up doing HR for the city for a long time before coming to the hospital). They just said if my feeling of unease/anxiety is coming from personal issues that it's up to me to decide if it's something I can adjust to or overcome and to take my time and keep them updated.

I just don't know what to do as if I leave I'll basically be admitting I wasted 4 years. As of right now I'm planning to keep showing up for a week or so just to be certain it's not "new job/place" anxiety although I don't think is as I've had new unfamiliar jobs in the past and this is a totally different feeling.
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I just want to say mate that it will never have been a waste - I know that sounds like platitude, but it's solidly founded in experience. I'm totally unsure of what I want to do - currently at Uni, delaying sitting my finals due to mental health issues. But none of it has to be a 'waste', even if I never get a job in it.

It sounds like you've made an important discovery - even if it feels like a negative one. These things usually direct us closer to our 'vocations' :)
 
Hibbertinho said:
I just want to say mate that it will never have been a waste - I know that sounds like platitude, but it's solidly founded in experience. I'm totally unsure of what I want to do - currently at Uni, delaying sitting my finals due to mental health issues. But none of it has to be a 'waste', even if I never get a job in it.

It sounds like you've made an important discovery - even if it feels like a negative one. These things usually direct us closer to our 'vocations' :)
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Appetciate it mate! Sorry to hear youre going through it as well, i remember feeling this way during uni and to put it bluntly it sucks haha thats great that youve recognized it all and seem to have a great attitude about it ;) im sure you'll smash those finals when youre up for it
 
USABlue said:
Unfortunately not as ive only recently graduated and the role im currently in is entry level. Its either stick it out or move on unfortunately. Planning on giving it a week, possibly end of the month to see if the anxiety passes or becomes manageable
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could you look elsewhere whilst sticking it out till you find something? don't just pack it in without having a job to go to.
 
COYBL25 said:
Cheers mate, one of the things that I remember most that someone said to me about anxiety is " you become worried about bring worried " and eventually you're brain gets stuck in that programme.
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This is extremely accurate. Ive been having trouble sleeping ever since i started as i get anxious and upset at home about the fact i have so much anxiety at work
 
Hibbertinho said:
I just want to say mate that it will never have been a waste -
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Very true. What it indicates to potential employers is a commitment to bettering yourself (education wise), even if it's not in your chosen field. Of course, only you will know if the sacrifice of time & effort is worth it, especially with how you're feeling but like many struggles in life, the joy & pay off is at the other end.
 

wbn61 said:
could you look elsewhere whilst sticking it out till you find something? don't just pack it in without having a job to go to.
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Yeah im trying to look around but sadly all im qualified for is this. If it wasnt about to be summer i could just go back to substitute teaching as thats what i was doing previoudly. Have to find something for the summer
 

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