Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

COYBL25 said:
I don't know if this will help you mate, but as @big bobs beard says strart looking into an IVA.

A lad who I know who is in the building trade got badly hit during the last recession and ended up with over 30k of debt. He's had an IVA running for a few years now and this has enabled him to keep hold of the house and live a relatively normal life since he took it out. The bottom line appears to be as long as you agree to pay what you can afford the debtors are happy.

Hope this helps mate X
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We got into debt for a number of reasons which I won't go into - but basically I am a person of few wants and needs. Once I got the IVA ( six months to go) it allowed me to budget but also see a light at the end of the tunnel- trust me I had suicidal thoughts at the time. Learnt to live with the basics, realise I am so better off still than many, and NEVER let someone else put me in that position again. Luckily I have met a wonderful woman who has the same values, has supported me emotionally, and now and again financially always paid back - I am a proud man ) when MOTs etc have caused me problems. I lost the house I loved and worked so hard on, but at the end of the day so what? It won't get buried with me! Live in a smaller flat but spend days and holidays in the countryside appreciating the world we live in. I am happy - somehing I wasn't for nigh on twenty years looking back. Positivity, a smile on your face and NOT wishing your life away that things could be different will get you through.
 


Groucho said:
My friends fiancée had taken an overdose tonight.

She'll be fine, she's on her way to hozzy, but she misses her deceased father and her son who lives away.

Please don't overdose folks.
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Sorry to read that mate. My immediate thought is "what now" when I read things like this? Glad she will be fine, but do they have a plan for her going forward?
 
Not been in the best of phases lately, my counsellor is still off work for the sixth week running now and I don't really know when she'll be back.

I've managed to get through the worst of it though. Things always get better.

Anyway, I used to listen to this song a lot but not lately. I forgot what a truly great song it is and what a help it can be in hard times.

Hope you are all doing well.

 
ToffeeDan said:
I don't even know where to begin. I've responded in this thread before but now I'm in such a dark place I can't imagine where I will be 3 months down the line. Yeah we won't be homeless but I'm just about as broke as it's possible to be. My business is going to hell in a handcart and I owe so much money personally I couldn't even buy my wife a birthday card - never mind a present.

So there you have it. Pished my whole life away - so much bad fortune and poor decisions and then defeatism on my part.

I don't know how I keep myself from falling apart. I'm already on Counselling. It helps but only to remember all the sh1t life has thrown at me.. I don't even care about Everton anymore. Not sure i care about me.

Thanks for listening - sorry to burden you all
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First of all Dan thanks for sharing your story with us,please realise that alone is a brave thing to do and already the good people of this forum have responded with excellent advice which I can only echo.
Secondly Dan anyone who considers himself on the edge of falling apart yet takes time out to help someone else with kindness sounds like a remarkable man to me who shouldn't be too hard on himself.

If you have secondary issues. which you hinted at try and face them head on,although it may be difficult once that is sorted you will have a clear head to deal with the rest.

The fact mate that you fully realise where you are with things and not burying your head in the sand seems a good platform in which to work from.

Take the advice from people on here with experience of these things,please care about yourself and don't give up, yes you're feeling low but I'm sure with a plan in place you will be strong enough to come through this.

In your second post you have even showed you have retained your sense of humour and that also is not a bad thing.

I also wish your homeless friend the best of luck and hope things turn around for him.

Your love for Everton can take a backseat for a while,get yourself sorted and before long you will be looking out for them again.

Roll your sleeves up Dan pick yourself, up believe in yourself and you will come through this, keep us posted when you feel able to.
 
GwladysBlue said:
Not been in the best of phases lately, my counsellor is still off work for the sixth week running now and I don't really know when she'll be back.

I've managed to get through the worst of it though. Things always get better.

Anyway, I used to listen to this song a lot but not lately. I forgot what a truly great song it is and what a help it can be in hard times.

Hope you are all doing well.

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Almost any emotional music, or story, is bound to get me blubbering. I started reading Widower of The Parish in The Guardian recently - well, you know, I don't need to tell you the subject matter, but - despite never really liking ELO I just didn't realise how uplifting Mr Blue Sky was meant to be, even if, buried within the lyrics there's a subtle hint of sadness - but anyway I digress :

Family and friends sang it in her memory at the funeral.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...blue-sky-my-wife-was-the-star-of-her-own-show

Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin' everybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day, hey hey
Runnin' down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly in the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mister blue sky is living here today, hey hey
Mister blue sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?
Mister blue sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?
Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
A celebration, mister blue sky's up there waitin'
And today is the day we've waited for
Oh mister blue sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

And here is the song:

 
First of all folk I myself am fine apart from just being a little emotional this weekend on two counts first of all on Friday I travelled down to the funeral of my best mate for some 43 years, he had the most fantastic send off you could imagine which was really uplifting to all of us who were present, it was an opportunity to meet friends old and new and reminisce about a guy who although only 56 had a happy fun filled life, a great family and many good friends.
I draw comfort from all the above and also the fact his wife has a great support network around her to help her through her loss. I am coming to terms with the loss of my good mate but the thing which has saddened me most this morning is my 17yo son has come home from camping overnight with his mates and informed me that his school mate of the same age who went missing on Friday has been found dead in non-suspicious circumstances in a local park.
This is absolutely tragic I love my son so much I can't begin to think how this boys parents are feeling. By all account he was just a perfectly normal lad, he has obviously been tormented about something which could have been sorted if he had sought help.
If there are any youngsters out there reading this please share your problems with somebody even if you can't speak to your parents please seek assistance from somebody before you have any dark thoughts.
17 is so young you have barely begun to live your life and he will have left such sorrow for his family and friends,I hope his soul is now at peace.
 
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I read an article in the i yesterday which resounded with what some of the people have posted in here

It was based on an article in the Lancet and Science Daily about "Behavioural Activation" ( BA ) and comparing it to CBT. You can read the latter at https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160722212245.htm, but, to be honest, the i article was much better than the above, which is focusing a lot on cost.

In a nutshell BA is about encouraging people with depression to seek out "positive activities" which can be as simple as dancing, gardening or going for a walk. Also getting people to take up, or get back into the groove, of hobbies such as reading, baking or sewing ( OK, granted, I doubt many GOT folk are sewing buffs )

It sounds very much like common sense, and I'd guess the idea is that if you're going to see someone on a regular basis to see how you're getting on with those sorts of activities might just be the push you need to make sure you give things a try rather than promises yourself you'll "do it tomorrow", which can be all too easy !
 
larbert toffee said:
First of all folk I myself am fine apart from just being a little emotional this weekend on two counts first of all on Friday I travelled down to the funeral of my best mate for some 43 years, he had the most fantastic send off you could imagine which was really uplifting to all of us who were present, it was an opportunity to meet friends old and new and reminisce about a guy who although only 56 had a happy fun filled life, a great family and many good friends.
I draw comfort from all the above and also the fact his wife has a great support network around her to help her through her loss. I am coming to terms with the loss of my good mate but the thing which has saddened me most this morning is my 17yo son has come home from camping overnight with his mates and informed me that his school mate of the same age who went missing on Friday has been found dead in non-suspicious circumstances in a local park.
This is absolutely tragic I love my son so much I can't begin to think how this boys parents are feeling. By all account he was just a perfectly normal lad, he has obviously been tormented about something which could have been sorted if he had sought help.
If there are any youngsters out there reading this please share your problems with somebody even if you can't speak to your parents please seek assistance from somebody before you have any dark thoughts.
17 is so young you have barely begun to live your life and he will have left such sorrow for his family and friends,I hope his soul is now at peace.
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So sad when you see someone so young go, and also at any age for you with your friend.

I lost an old school friend last year at the ripe old age of 35. We'd lost touch over a few years but it still felt like someone had hit the emergency brake at whatever speed my life was travelling at when I found out.

Grief is a complex emotional response, so I hope you and your son are ok and find some strength to look back on the lives of those you lost with joy, humour and happiness.
 
larbert toffee said:
First of all folk I myself am fine apart from just being a little emotional this weekend on two counts first of all on Friday I travelled down to the funeral of my best mate for some 43 years, he had the most fantastic send off you could imagine which was really uplifting to all of us who were present, it was an opportunity to meet friends old and new and reminisce about a guy who although only 56 had a happy fun filled life, a great family and many good friends.
I draw comfort from all the above and also the fact his wife has a great support network around her to help her through her loss. I am coming to terms with the loss of my good mate but the thing which has saddened me most this morning is my 17yo son has come home from camping overnight with his mates and informed me that his school mate of the same age who went missing on Friday has been found dead in non-suspicious circumstances in a local park.
This is absolutely tragic I love my son so much I can't begin to think how this boys parents are feeling. By all account he was just a perfectly normal lad, he has obviously been tormented about something which could have been sorted if he had sought help.
If there are any youngsters out there reading this please share your problems with somebody even if you can't speak to your parents please seek assistance from somebody before you have any dark thoughts.
17 is so young you have barely begun to live your life and he will have left such sorrow for his family and friends,I hope his soul is now at peace.
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Goes without saying but look out for your son mate. Years ago I came home to find two police officers talking to my then 16 year old because his best mate had collapsed at school, then about 6 years ago another best mate died suddenly and unexpectedly . We went to both funerals, pretty emotional particularly the second who are family friends. There's no doubt both events affected my son and even years later we ended up having a long midnight talk on the subject. He still honours both their memories, time is a great healer, but as I say make sure your son gets chance to discuss events if needed.
 
Bradley Cates said:
For several months, I have been suffering from depression and anxiety. I feel a lot better now but before, I was an absolute mess. I wrote a blog post for the Huffington Post about my experience in order to help others in the same situation.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/bradley-cates/depression-anxiety_b_10931226.html
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Here is my next Huffington Post article about the support I have received since I posted the first article. This can be very helpful for sufferers who feel they shouldn't talk about depression when, in fact, confiding in people will help them a lot.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/bradley-cates/depression-mental-health_b_11172304.html
 

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