Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

DualityNSNO · July 21, 2016

Nah usually I get what I need from the food and the shakes. I've just lacked any motivation recently.

And I know @Groucho , I'm not gonna have any for the next few days anyway.

Zezti · July 21, 2016

I can't imagine how it must be to experience the loss of a loved one who took their own life, though I know a couple people who have. Two people I went to school with experienced the loss of their dads by suicide at a young age (14 and 16). Like I said, I can't imagine what it was like for them, but to happen while they were so young too, don't think there's a word to describe it.

You're right. Thing is with Uni, the more you struggle, the more you try and find your 'calling', something you can enjoy working hard on, the crazy debt just keeps mounting up. If I get on the new course, that would be my fourth since starting Uni in 2014. For someone like me who doesn't know where they belong, it's quite cruel; all that debt.
Think politicians and universities need to think about the long-term psychological effects that come with tens-of-thousands of pounds of debt on young people. Maybe I'm just soft, I don't know.

Rob17896 · July 21, 2016

You are not soft. Debt comes with being a student now. You will only repay when you are earning. It is a debt society now expects you to have like, one day, a mortgage. Nobody is ever going to kick your door down for it so relax. It is just life and life is often a pain but you should not worry it is no great issue.

ToffeeDan · July 22, 2016

I don't even know where to begin. I've responded in this thread before but now I'm in such a dark place I can't imagine where I will be 3 months down the line. Yeah we won't be homeless but I'm just about as broke as it's possible to be. My business is going to hell in a handcart and I owe so much money personally I couldn't even buy my wife a birthday card - never mind a present.

So there you have it. Pished my whole life away - so much bad fortune and poor decisions and then defeatism on my part.

I don't know how I keep myself from falling apart. I'm already on Counselling. It helps but only to remember all the sh1t life has thrown at me.. I don't even care about Everton anymore. Not sure i care about me.

Thanks for listening - sorry to burden you all

blueloon · July 22, 2016

Like I'm sure everybody who reads your post I find it difficult to even compose a response , I can't even come close to putting myself in your place and understanding all you're going through. Being there and listening is what this thread is all about, take it as read that there's a whole bunch of people on here who may not know you but do care . Keep posting away
mate, we're here with you if you need us.

anjelikaferrett · July 22, 2016

What @blueloon said. I can't think of anything to say to you either, other than to offer support and good karma.

DualityNSNO · July 22, 2016

Hey Dan, thanks for sharing. And you're not a burden at all, we're all friends here and try to help.

It's this knowledge that you are still not falling apart that makes you strong, even if you don't really know how you're not. Life does mostly sh1t on us, to be honest, and I'm in the same boat as you - broke as hell, had to borrow money from a friend just so me and my flatmate can buy food, as I had £9 after paying rent this month, with an absolute shitfest of a job that I don't even get paid all my shifts for (and it's criminally underpaid anyway).

I'm sure you'll get better soon enough mate, just stay strong.

The Esk · July 22, 2016

Hi mate, Good of you to share your hard times, it's good because it demonstrates you care enough to share in order to feel better. By reaching out it demonstrates you have not given up, deep down you know there's a better existence, you just need to find away of getting there.

Obviously debt is a big issue for you - are you taking debt advice? There's ways of getting out of debt legally, have you explored them? Not sure how I can help but if you want to PM me please do so, especially about your business.

Take care

big bobs beard · July 22, 2016

Mate I have felt this fear- it's horrendous and I did lose my home. Get yourself on an IVA - will stop any debtors going after you and you pay a certain amount every month ( is five years though) BUT it means you can live and start again. Just get a decent company or one through a charity - (not Debt Free Direct they are rubbish.) Keep caring because people care about you, keep talking to your wife ( I know some people hide money worries). Mine was a cow like - she left all the debt to me( most of it was run up by her!!) and buggered off with a kopite. You just have to be strong and believe things WILL get better .

ToffeeDan · July 22, 2016

I will respond directly to as many as I can - perhaps on Sunday when I've had a day off and feel a bit better.. In the meantime I'm going to find some bits and pieces for a homeless guy in Liverpool - the usual essentials (he got beaten up by druggies and stole all his stuff and one of his dogs). There's always someone worse off eh?! - and even though he has a massive dog (dressed in a RS shirt, sadly) I think we should let him off for that..

I guess losing my dog in February has had a big effect on my state of mind as well.

Groucho · July 22, 2016

I can only echo the responses you've had above.

It's great you're helping others, but don't forget to think of yourself too. That's very important. Don't neglect yourself.

Steven Verhoeven · July 22, 2016

This is Oustanding heartbreaking in other ways how much people care and help and listen where else would you get this only Everton fans this just shows you what sort of fans Everton have we listen care we all have problems but this thread is amazing hat off to you guys so nice

COYBL25 · July 22, 2016

I don't know if this will help you mate, but as @big bobs beard says strart looking into an IVA.

A lad who I know who is in the building trade got badly hit during the last recession and ended up with over 30k of debt. He's had an IVA running for a few years now and this has enabled him to keep hold of the house and live a relatively normal life since he took it out. The bottom line appears to be as long as you agree to pay what you can afford the debtors are happy.

Hope this helps mate X

Deleted member 28206 · July 22, 2016

Dan - having met you a few times and shared a good few laughs, I know you've had ups and downs the last few years but always remember the fact you are still fighting a good fight and despite it being hard now mate you have a lot to be proud of remember.