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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

I've been acquainted for the forum for the past several months, but only recently began to muster the courage to post and this was after i made an attempt on my life. I'm currently consulting mental health services and utilizing meds but there's the empty void or disconnect to others even when surrounded by othersm is still so prevalent. I've been frequenting this forum for the opportunity to connect to others about a subject that in a very turbulent period of life that has been a rare offering of entertainment and engagement. Yet I still feel so desolate even on this site much less the actual world around me. I write in this thread in the attempt to gain greater insight of my own affliction and that others to provide me a more extensive perspective on life. Also the trying to socialize with others thing. Hope i dont bother anyone not about droning about my issues. Actually interested more about constructive dialogue for my own refinement

Curtis
 
Goonymook said:
I've been acquainted for the forum for the past several months, but only recently began to muster the courage to post and this was after i made an attempt on my life. I'm currently consulting mental health services and utilizing meds but there's the empty void or disconnect to others even when surrounded by othersm is still so prevalent. I've been frequenting this forum for the opportunity to connect to others about a subject that in a very turbulent period of life that has been a rare offering of entertainment and engagement. Yet I still feel so desolate even on this site much less the actual world around me. I write in this thread in the attempt to gain greater insight of my own affliction and that others to provide me a more extensive perspective on life. Also the trying to socialize with others thing. Hope i dont bother anyone not about droning about my issues. Actually interested more about constructive dialogue for my own refinement

Curtis
Click to expand...


Welcome mate, you don't ever need to feel alone on here.

Speaking from my own personal experiences, that feeling of emptiness is all part of your depression ( I'm sure you know that ). At my lowest I wanted to lock myself away from the world due the bleakness I felt inside me. This is going to sound completely mad, but it was my dog that got me through this dark period. She was a constant in my life and the big thing was that she needed walking every day. No matter how low I felt I had to take her out and this small thing and the meds slowly brought me back into the world again.

I know a dog isn't for everyone mate, but this is how I got through it.

There's a wonderful book called - The Dogs Came.

It's a true story written by a man who was crippled by depression and had become a recluse as a result. A stray dog came to live in the shed in his garden and gave birth to pups, which meant he had to care for her or she and the pups would die.

It's wonderfully written and isn't soppy in anyway, but if you don't cry when you read it you're not human !

Keep posting mate x
 
I really hit a wall last weekend. After a bender with with some friends, I woke up with a real hangover last Sunday, but the worst came on Monday night. All of a sudden I was scared for everything. Couldn`t look at my little daughter without thinking about how her life would be without me. I couldn`t eat and was afraid too sleep in case I wouldn`t wake up. For a few months I have been suffering from this, after reading an article about Patton Oswalt`s wife, so I have been averaging 4-5 hours sleep every night for about four months. This has been brewing ever since my daughter was born four and a half years ago though. A dramatic birth which my girlfriend lost a litre of blood . But then again I sat with a baby completely dependent of me, so you just have to go on. My girlfriend is bipolar, so she has had four years of basically hell in need of my support, until she finally this spring found a therapist helping her immensely. My mother fell into a coma at christmas four years ago ago, but recovered, but an operation the following christmas she never recovered from. The next weeks I had to support my father, and my daughter and girlfriend needed me as well. Now though, everything has been very good for a while, despite my lack of sleep. The feeling of not being able to enjoy anything, and that destiny has it in for you is devastating, but tomorrow I`m gonna try to find some way forward with my doctor, so I can learn how to deal with it. I turned 40 earlier this year and that maybe has something to do with it as well. All I know is this is not not how I want to live my life, and hopefully I will get the help I need to go forward. I have grown up with a mother who was bipolar, and my girlfriend suffers from it, and for the first time I have experienced first-hand for a short time how depression and anxiety completely takes over your life, and I feel so sorry for what they I have gone through. Even though I have been supportive, I really never knew how bad it is. A little medication has got me through the weekend, but I realise I have a battle in front of me, because I refuse to be strangled by this. We all know life can be hard at times, but when even the good times are feeling hard, it`s fu***** awful. Sorry for the rambling, but it felt good just to get it out some way or another.
 
It can often be the case that when you are caring for others, you don't look after yourself. Then when that situation comes to an end it hits you. When me and my wife had our first baby she suffered badly for a few months and i helped her through it. Then when she recovered it hit me as it had built up. If you have a good GP go and see them. Try CBT (search this thread and you'll find some good sites) or book a councillor if you can afford it. Just make sure you look after yourself, because if you can do that you'll be there for others when they need you.
 
yesterday wasn't too bad was it? I took a walk to the pub after the game to meet my wife and her friend, it was an ordeal but I managed it. I had a meal and even managed a pint. lasted an hour before it got too much for me so Teresa phoned daughter in law to come and take me home. got home about 6.30 went straight to bed and just got up about 1/2 hour ago lol. 19 hours sleep and I still feel tired. on the good side I havn't been sick yet so maybe new meds is working. hope everyone is enjoying the rest of the weekend.

hwyl fawr.
 

Frankattack said:
I really hit a wall last weekend. After a bender with with some friends, I woke up with a real hangover last Sunday, but the worst came on Monday night. All of a sudden I was scared for everything. Couldn`t look at my little daughter without thinking about how her life would be without me. I couldn`t eat and was afraid too sleep in case I wouldn`t wake up. For a few months I have been suffering from this, after reading an article about Patton Oswalt`s wife, so I have been averaging 4-5 hours sleep every night for about four months. This has been brewing ever since my daughter was born four and a half years ago though. A dramatic birth which my girlfriend lost a litre of blood . But then again I sat with a baby completely dependent of me, so you just have to go on. My girlfriend is bipolar, so she has had four years of basically hell in need of my support, until she finally this spring found a therapist helping her immensely. My mother fell into a coma at christmas four years ago ago, but recovered, but an operation the following christmas she never recovered from. The next weeks I had to support my father, and my daughter and girlfriend needed me as well. Now though, everything has been very good for a while, despite my lack of sleep. The feeling of not being able to enjoy anything, and that destiny has it in for you is devastating, but tomorrow I`m gonna try to find some way forward with my doctor, so I can learn how to deal with it. I turned 40 earlier this year and that maybe has something to do with it as well. All I know is this is not not how I want to live my life, and hopefully I will get the help I need to go forward. I have grown up with a mother who was bipolar, and my girlfriend suffers from it, and for the first time I have experienced first-hand for a short time how depression and anxiety completely takes over your life, and I feel so sorry for what they I have gone through. Even though I have been supportive, I really never knew how bad it is. A little medication has got me through the weekend, but I realise I have a battle in front of me, because I refuse to be strangled by this. We all know life can be hard at times, but when even the good times are feeling hard, it`s fu***** awful. Sorry for the rambling, but it felt good just to get it out some way or another.
Click to expand...
Perhaps the most revealing sentence in your post. Lots of people with significant caring responsibilities suffer as you do - many others relying on you but little time or energy to even think about your own difficulties.

Key thing with that sentence though is that you appear to have decided to not let this beat you. Not all sufferers feel that empowered. Many feel 'stuck' in their condition. Not you it seems. So there's hope. When all else seems to have been taken from us, there's still the choice to fight back or let it win. Hamlet really.

Normally I'd advise doing some volunteering - gets your mind off things.....I know, I've done it and it's helped me. Guess you have no time with all this people depending on you.

Then there's Social Services (hear me out) who normally should be looking to support carers as well as patients. Some local authorities do have budget to enable carers to get some time off - even a few hours a week can help.

Then there's education or learning - proven to help depression or anxiety sufferers to build self confidence. Not necessarily a formal course or a qualification. My local scuba club have really cheap membership and provide all the equipment. Passed my Ocean Diver qualification a few weeks ago - cost me about £100 altogether. Great fun....and I did it whilst also having CBT for depression. The 2 hours a week training was a brilliant distraction.

But keep posting on here. You'll get lots of support from fellow blues. It all helps
 
A good friend of mine and a big Evertonian lost his fight to depression this week and took his own life. A lovely man who cared about so many people. Depression is a complete Barsteward, I hate it. This was almost me a few years back.

I wrote a story of my struggles and put it on Amazon. Anything it makes will now be donated to a depression charity in honour of my buddy. R.I.P mate.

Amazon product ASIN B01IL48KLC
This is not an advert for my book, it is to raise money to help those fighting such a cruel condition. If not OK on here then please remove admin.

It hurt me to write my story and I was not sure that I wanted everyone knowing what happened to me. But if it can help someone it is worth it.

Nobody has to buy it, it is there if you want it and any proceeds go to help people with depression.

Rest on bud.
 
Frankattack said:
I really hit a wall last weekend. After a bender with with some friends, I woke up with a real hangover last Sunday, but the worst came on Monday night. All of a sudden I was scared for everything. Couldn`t look at my little daughter without thinking about how her life would be without me. I couldn`t eat and was afraid too sleep in case I wouldn`t wake up. For a few months I have been suffering from this, after reading an article about Patton Oswalt`s wife, so I have been averaging 4-5 hours sleep every night for about four months. This has been brewing ever since my daughter was born four and a half years ago though. A dramatic birth which my girlfriend lost a litre of blood . But then again I sat with a baby completely dependent of me, so you just have to go on. My girlfriend is bipolar, so she has had four years of basically hell in need of my support, until she finally this spring found a therapist helping her immensely. My mother fell into a coma at christmas four years ago ago, but recovered, but an operation the following christmas she never recovered from. The next weeks I had to support my father, and my daughter and girlfriend needed me as well. Now though, everything has been very good for a while, despite my lack of sleep. The feeling of not being able to enjoy anything, and that destiny has it in for you is devastating, but tomorrow I`m gonna try to find some way forward with my doctor, so I can learn how to deal with it. I turned 40 earlier this year and that maybe has something to do with it as well. All I know is this is not not how I want to live my life, and hopefully I will get the help I need to go forward. I have grown up with a mother who was bipolar, and my girlfriend suffers from it, and for the first time I have experienced first-hand for a short time how depression and anxiety completely takes over your life, and I feel so sorry for what they I have gone through. Even though I have been supportive, I really never knew how bad it is. A little medication has got me through the weekend, but I realise I have a battle in front of me, because I refuse to be strangled by this. We all know life can be hard at times, but when even the good times are feeling hard, it`s fu***** awful. Sorry for the rambling, but it felt good just to get it out some way or another.
Click to expand...

I read your story mate, and it's genuinely heartbreaking. I've just come on to pits something similar. I absolutely loved that line I've highlighted.

Keep going mate. For her sake x
 

Fat Larry said:
I've finally bitten the bullet and been to see my GP. I've been prescribed Amitriptyline, I'm dubious about taking and meds as I don't want to become dependant on them. Has anyone had any experience of them?
Click to expand...
I've been on meds for 18 months and I'm now starting to wean myself off them ( I've spoke with my GP about it )

They are trial and error but they are definately worth trying if you need them .
 
Fat Larry said:
I've finally bitten the bullet and been to see my GP. I've been prescribed Amitriptyline, I'm dubious about taking and meds as I don't want to become dependant on them. Has anyone had any experience of them?
Click to expand...

They're quite an old med tbf and everybody's different. Give me a whirl and if you don't like them get them changed to another good luck ;)
 
Fat Larry said:
I've finally bitten the bullet and been to see my GP. I've been prescribed Amitriptyline, I'm dubious about taking and meds as I don't want to become dependant on them. Has anyone had any experience of them?
Click to expand...

matty1878 said:
They're quite an old med tbf and everybody's different. Give me a whirl and if you don't like them get them changed to another good luck ;)
Click to expand...

It was one of the first meds I was ever prescribed over ten years ago.

I don't think it's habit forming, but check first. So you shouldn't need to worry about that.

I can still remember the first time I took one, I had the best nights sleep I'd had for years !

I don't think it's for long term use though mate, as you behind used to them pretty quickly and have to keep upping the dose.
 
Fat Larry said:
I've finally bitten the bullet and been to see my GP. I've been prescribed Amitriptyline, I'm dubious about taking and meds as I don't want to become dependant on them. Has anyone had any experience of them?
Click to expand...
l4toffee said:
I've been on meds for 18 months and I'm now starting to wean myself off them ( I've spoke with my GP about it )

They are trial and error but they are definately worth trying if you need them .
Click to expand...
As said here, if you need the meds then use them.

You can always be weaned off gradually to prevent dependence and withdrawal.
 

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