Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[DualityNSNO]

I've had a pretty terrible last 48 hours... for literally no reason. I don't feel comfortable where I am, or in my skin, or anything.

Been just sitting/laying in bed just about all night trying to get to sleep, but can't find comfort in my own bed, everything feels off. Went for a smoke, had a shower, did some pushups and stuff so I get even more tired - I feel tired but can't even fall asleep... and now it's 7am.

Might do some 'therapy' tomorrow/today and clean and repair some techy stuff I have lying around the house (mainly my laptop), hopefully it will set my mind at ease - used to do that to my car, but I have no car here, so next best thing after walking and playing with my/any dogs I suppose.

Hate being like this, basically trapped in my own skin and mind. Sorry for the random nature of this rant, but just needed to vent a bit. Hopefully I manage to sleep a bit at least.

Thanks for being here, friends.

 

[COYBL25]

I really hit a wall last weekend. After a bender with with some friends, I woke up with a real hangover last Sunday, but the worst came on Monday night. All of a sudden I was scared for everything. Couldn`t look at my little daughter without thinking about how her life would be without me. I couldn`t eat and was afraid too sleep in case I wouldn`t wake up. For a few months I have been suffering from this, after reading an article about Patton Oswalt`s wife, so I have been averaging 4-5 hours sleep every night for about four months. This has been brewing ever since my daughter was born four and a half years ago though. A dramatic birth which my girlfriend lost a litre of blood . But then again I sat with a baby completely dependent of me, so you just have to go on. My girlfriend is bipolar, so she has had four years of basically hell in need of my support, until she finally this spring found a therapist helping her immensely. My mother fell into a coma at christmas four years ago ago, but recovered, but an operation the following christmas she never recovered from. The next weeks I had to support my father, and my daughter and girlfriend needed me as well. Now though, everything has been very good for a while, despite my lack of sleep. The feeling of not being able to enjoy anything, and that destiny has it in for you is devastating, but tomorrow I`m gonna try to find some way forward with my doctor, so I can learn how to deal with it. I turned 40 earlier this year and that maybe has something to do with it as well. All I know is this is not not how I want to live my life, and hopefully I will get the help I need to go forward. I have grown up with a mother who was bipolar, and my girlfriend suffers from it, and for the first time I have experienced first-hand for a short time how depression and anxiety completely takes over your life, and I feel so sorry for what they I have gone through. Even though I have been supportive, I really never knew how bad it is. A little medication has got me through the weekend, but I realise I have a battle in front of me, because I refuse to be strangled by this. We all know life can be hard at times, but when even the good times are feeling hard, it`s fu***** awful. Sorry for the rambling, but it felt good just to get it out some way or another.

Welcome mate. Think of your brain like an elastic band, stretch it long enough and it breaks. That's what happened to you. I don't think you give yourself enough credit for you resilience, most people would've cracked long before you did.

As @trebilcock66 said, some local authorities provide respite, so do some charities too. May be something you want to look into ?

Do you have any support from other family members, just to give you a break every now and again ?

If you can remove some of the pressure you're under, I'm sure your health would improve.

Keep posting mate .

 

[kithnou]

I've had a pretty terrible last 48 hours... for literally no reason. I don't feel comfortable where I am, or in my skin, or anything.

Been just sitting/laying in bed just about all night trying to get to sleep, but can't find comfort in my own bed, everything feels off. Went for a smoke, had a shower, did some pushups and stuff so I get even more tired - I feel tired but can't even fall asleep... and now it's 7am.

Might do some 'therapy' tomorrow/today and clean and repair some techy stuff I have lying around the house (mainly my laptop), hopefully it will set my mind at ease - used to do that to my car, but I have no car here, so next best thing after walking and playing with my/any dogs I suppose.

Hate being like this, basically trapped in my own skin and mind. Sorry for the random nature of this rant, but just needed to vent a bit. Hopefully I manage to sleep a bit at least.

Thanks for being here, friends.

Could it be the night shifts playing with your sleep patterns?

 

[COYBL25]

I've had a pretty terrible last 48 hours... for literally no reason. I don't feel comfortable where I am, or in my skin, or anything.

Been just sitting/laying in bed just about all night trying to get to sleep, but can't find comfort in my own bed, everything feels off. Went for a smoke, had a shower, did some pushups and stuff so I get even more tired - I feel tired but can't even fall asleep... and now it's 7am.

Might do some 'therapy' tomorrow/today and clean and repair some techy stuff I have lying around the house (mainly my laptop), hopefully it will set my mind at ease - used to do that to my car, but I have no car here, so next best thing after walking and playing with my/any dogs I suppose.

Hate being like this, basically trapped in my own skin and mind. Sorry for the random nature of this rant, but just needed to vent a bit. Hopefully I manage to sleep a bit at least.

Thanks for being here, friends.

Couid be time for a couple of weeks at home with your family ?

 

[Durham Toffee]

I've had a pretty terrible last 48 hours... for literally no reason. I don't feel comfortable where I am, or in my skin, or anything.

Been just sitting/laying in bed just about all night trying to get to sleep, but can't find comfort in my own bed, everything feels off. Went for a smoke, had a shower, did some pushups and stuff so I get even more tired - I feel tired but can't even fall asleep... and now it's 7am.

Might do some 'therapy' tomorrow/today and clean and repair some techy stuff I have lying around the house (mainly my laptop), hopefully it will set my mind at ease - used to do that to my car, but I have no car here, so next best thing after walking and playing with my/any dogs I suppose.

Hate being like this, basically trapped in my own skin and mind. Sorry for the random nature of this rant, but just needed to vent a bit. Hopefully I manage to sleep a bit at least.

Thanks for being here, friends.

Here for you, lid.

Anytime.

You got any family or friends close by? Or maybe it's worth a few days away to see others?

 

[blueloon]

Not every inspirational story from the Olymoics is about a GB athlete winning a medal. Jack Green makes the semi final in his event and a fantastic achievement just getting there .

"Jack Green's very appearance at these Olympic Games is a major achievement. After 2012, the British hurdler was forced to spend 18 months away from competition due to depression.

"It's hard to make an Olympics, let alone a semi-final and maybe a final," he said.

"I just want to enjoy it. I've got a lot of gratitude, I've really enjoyed this journey. I didn't last time. I'm not on medication because I can't run on it, but I'm in a good place."

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I've had a pretty terrible last 48 hours... for literally no reason. I don't feel comfortable where I am, or in my skin, or anything.

Been just sitting/laying in bed just about all night trying to get to sleep, but can't find comfort in my own bed, everything feels off. Went for a smoke, had a shower, did some pushups and stuff so I get even more tired - I feel tired but can't even fall asleep... and now it's 7am.

Might do some 'therapy' tomorrow/today and clean and repair some techy stuff I have lying around the house (mainly my laptop), hopefully it will set my mind at ease - used to do that to my car, but I have no car here, so next best thing after walking and playing with my/any dogs I suppose.

Hate being like this, basically trapped in my own skin and mind. Sorry for the random nature of this rant, but just needed to vent a bit. Hopefully I manage to sleep a bit at least.

Thanks for being here, friends.

Oh bless you. Can't really offer any advice but hope you feel better soon and find out why you are feeling like that. Keep posting.

 

[GraemeS1980]

Just need somewhere to vent some feelings, I woke up on Friday with swollen lymph nodes. There is one on my neck that's most prominent but groins and arms been aching too. So I've just been to the doctor and she has got me an X-ray and blood test tomorrow morning and got an ultra sound scan being booked within two weeks. I'm 36 and retraining to be paediatric nurse (just finished second year and going into final year) I put it down to stress and exhaustion that my lymph nodes are swollen and I've picked up a virus from somewhere but these test are to rule out cancer. I nearly fell off the chair having not thought of that. I gave up smoking 3 & 1/2 years ago and 95% of the time have a good diet, I hardly even drink! My mum died nearly 2 years ago, my Dad isn't in the best of health so can't talk to him and my Mrs suffers with anxiety so I can't give her the full details. Sorry for going on just needed to vent to my blue family. I know I'm worrying hopefully about nothing

 

[COYBL25]

Just need somewhere to vent some feelings, I woke up on Friday with swollen lymph nodes. There is one on my neck that's most prominent but groins and arms been aching too. So I've just been to the doctor and she has got me an X-ray and blood test tomorrow morning and got an ultra sound scan being booked within two weeks. I'm 36 and retraining to be paediatric nurse (just finished second year and going into final year) I put it down to stress and exhaustion that my lymph nodes are swollen and I've picked up a virus from somewhere but these test are to rule out cancer. I nearly fell off the chair having not thought of that. I gave up smoking 3 & 1/2 years ago and 95% of the time have a good diet, I hardly even drink! My mum died nearly 2 years ago, my Dad isn't in the best of health so can't talk to him and my Mrs suffers with anxiety so I can't give her the full details. Sorry for going on just needed to vent to my blue family. I know I'm worrying hopefully about nothing

Vent away mate, that's one of the things this thread is for x

 

[matty1878]

Just need somewhere to vent some feelings, I woke up on Friday with swollen lymph nodes. There is one on my neck that's most prominent but groins and arms been aching too. So I've just been to the doctor and she has got me an X-ray and blood test tomorrow morning and got an ultra sound scan being booked within two weeks. I'm 36 and retraining to be paediatric nurse (just finished second year and going into final year) I put it down to stress and exhaustion that my lymph nodes are swollen and I've picked up a virus from somewhere but these test are to rule out cancer. I nearly fell off the chair having not thought of that. I gave up smoking 3 & 1/2 years ago and 95% of the time have a good diet, I hardly even drink! My mum died nearly 2 years ago, my Dad isn't in the best of health so can't talk to him and my Mrs suffers with anxiety so I can't give her the full details. Sorry for going on just needed to vent to my blue family. I know I'm worrying hopefully about nothing

If it helps talk pal and tell whatever you want

 

[blueloon]

Just need somewhere to vent some feelings, I woke up on Friday with swollen lymph nodes. There is one on my neck that's most prominent but groins and arms been aching too. So I've just been to the doctor and she has got me an X-ray and blood test tomorrow morning and got an ultra sound scan being booked within two weeks. I'm 36 and retraining to be paediatric nurse (just finished second year and going into final year) I put it down to stress and exhaustion that my lymph nodes are swollen and I've picked up a virus from somewhere but these test are to rule out cancer. I nearly fell off the chair having not thought of that. I gave up smoking 3 & 1/2 years ago and 95% of the time have a good diet, I hardly even drink! My mum died nearly 2 years ago, my Dad isn't in the best of health so can't talk to him and my Mrs suffers with anxiety so I can't give her the full details. Sorry for going on just needed to vent to my blue family. I know I'm worrying hopefully about nothing

Tough times for you mate, and sometimes venting to a complete group of strangers is just what is needed, hopefully as you say it's a worry about nothing , good luck with X-Ray and blood test tomorrow.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Just need somewhere to vent some feelings, I woke up on Friday with swollen lymph nodes. There is one on my neck that's most prominent but groins and arms been aching too. So I've just been to the doctor and she has got me an X-ray and blood test tomorrow morning and got an ultra sound scan being booked within two weeks. I'm 36 and retraining to be paediatric nurse (just finished second year and going into final year) I put it down to stress and exhaustion that my lymph nodes are swollen and I've picked up a virus from somewhere but these test are to rule out cancer. I nearly fell off the chair having not thought of that. I gave up smoking 3 & 1/2 years ago and 95% of the time have a good diet, I hardly even drink! My mum died nearly 2 years ago, my Dad isn't in the best of health so can't talk to him and my Mrs suffers with anxiety so I can't give her the full details. Sorry for going on just needed to vent to my blue family. I know I'm worrying hopefully about nothing

Good luck la. You'll be sound

 

[kithnou]

Just need somewhere to vent some feelings, I woke up on Friday with swollen lymph nodes. There is one on my neck that's most prominent but groins and arms been aching too. So I've just been to the doctor and she has got me an X-ray and blood test tomorrow morning and got an ultra sound scan being booked within two weeks. I'm 36 and retraining to be paediatric nurse (just finished second year and going into final year) I put it down to stress and exhaustion that my lymph nodes are swollen and I've picked up a virus from somewhere but these test are to rule out cancer. I nearly fell off the chair having not thought of that. I gave up smoking 3 & 1/2 years ago and 95% of the time have a good diet, I hardly even drink! My mum died nearly 2 years ago, my Dad isn't in the best of health so can't talk to him and my Mrs suffers with anxiety so I can't give her the full details. Sorry for going on just needed to vent to my blue family. I know I'm worrying hopefully about nothing

All the best mate. Share whatever and whenever in this place if it helps.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Could it be the night shifts playing with your sleep patterns?

Might be mate, but at this point I'm used to it. It's just the general feeling of uneasiness about just about everything.

Couid be time for a couple of weeks at home with your family ?

Here for you, lid.

Anytime.

You got any family or friends close by? Or maybe it's worth a few days away to see others?

I live with one of my best mates here but I don't really feel like actually physically talking, let alone to him about that (we're a bunch of lads and not everyone knows about my struggles anyway. I can't explain, but I don't want to talk to him about that).

And family/dog time might be approaching soon - same mate might 'break' himself pretty soon (powerlifter working a labour job at Amazon, on his feet the whole day, he's losing weight and his knees/back are giving in cuz of his own weight basically) and if he does we're on our way out, as he's the only reason I actually am still here (and the chance to actually go see Ebeptov at Goodison too, I suppose ), but at least I get some money out of the whole situation too, hopefully towards some tattoos and a car/bike.

Oh bless you. Can't really offer any advice but hope you feel better soon and find out why you are feeling like that. Keep posting.

Thanks, and there's really no advice to share tbh. I'm feeling 'off' being here at the moment, just feel better putting it on, er, virtual paper in a way.

I've got problems and I've shared them here before, but hope everything will get better soon enough.

Still thanks for being here lads & lasses. This thread is of great help even if people use it to vent.

Speaking of:

Just need somewhere to vent some feelings, I woke up on Friday with swollen lymph nodes. There is one on my neck that's most prominent but groins and arms been aching too. So I've just been to the doctor and she has got me an X-ray and blood test tomorrow morning and got an ultra sound scan being booked within two weeks. I'm 36 and retraining to be paediatric nurse (just finished second year and going into final year) I put it down to stress and exhaustion that my lymph nodes are swollen and I've picked up a virus from somewhere but these test are to rule out cancer. I nearly fell off the chair having not thought of that. I gave up smoking 3 & 1/2 years ago and 95% of the time have a good diet, I hardly even drink! My mum died nearly 2 years ago, my Dad isn't in the best of health so can't talk to him and my Mrs suffers with anxiety so I can't give her the full details. Sorry for going on just needed to vent to my blue family. I know I'm worrying hopefully about nothing

Best of luck mate, hopefully it's absolutely nothing and you'll be fine.

Share whenever and whatever you want as long as it makes you feel better, as @kithnou said already. We're all here to help, or at the very least - listen.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Have big in a really deep hole for the past 2 months. Citalopram on Wednesday, hope this helps shift this awful feeling.