Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[chrismpw]

My uncle died this morning. Feeling dead sad.

I've vented my grief to the other mods and they've been ace.

I know sadness and depression are miles apart, but this felt like the best place to post a message.

Bye Doug.

Sorry for your loss, Groucho. Time is a one way Street and we need to revel in those we love and admire while we can.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Nice moves bro.

Expect a PM @efc_girl.

lol

 

[Elong]

My dog of 12 n half years I've just been told he's got aggressive cancer doesn't have long. I'm utterly utterly devastated, he's on steroids and pain relief for now.

Been crying and a wreck all day.

Only just caught up on this matty. I'm so sorry to here that. My Max and Nala are my best mates, I love them more than most humans. I'd be distraught. I totally understand. Sending love your way mate.

 

[Elong]

I'm spending every minute I can with him mate. Il do my best I can to make him comfortable.

Actually breaks my heart. I don't think everyone understands the bond you can have with a dog you've raised from a tiny pup.

 

[Elong]

My uncle died this morning. Feeling dead sad.

I've vented my grief to the other mods and they've been ace.

I know sadness and depression are miles apart, but this felt like the best place to post a message.

Bye Doug.

I'm so sorry for your loss Groucho x

 

[Elong]

Very interesting article from Jason McAteer (I know.....) about his battle with depression and his near suicide followed by his recovery:

http://www.joe.co.uk/sport/jason-mcateer/88836

A lot of his symptoms, thoughts and actions are remarkably similar to my own experiences over the last few years. Hiding it the big one. Trying to crash the car. Getting a diary to fill it in with stuff to do. Trying to stop being a social outcast.

I'm getting some great help these days, and acknowledging how low I got, how low I still am, but how to turn it around.

 

[COYBL25]

I haven't been on this for a good while and seems I only come back when I am suffering some sadness! I must rectify that because you are all good people... But life gets in the way sometimes. Anyway, suffering a lot at the moment with relationship issues. I am currently sat in my mum and dad's house having moved a load of stuff out of my boyfriend's house yesterday (we've been together for 2 1/2 years... Lived together for 1 and a half). We had been going through a crappy patch and trying to fix things and in the end we thought breaking up would be best and see what happens. Something needed to happen in order to find out how we both feel etc. As soon as it happened, I woke up the next day and thought what have we done? He's a good lad (albeit a kopite!), with a good heart and he provides well, works hard, has a great nature... I was just missing some kind of spark... I work in a pub and the attention received off people was making me think why do I not get this attention at home? I understand it won't be on the same level and 'sparks' do not last or whatever... But still, it was getting to me and made me doubt things. I just don't know what to do really. He says he wants a few days to think things over... whereas I am impatient and wanting all of the answers to miraculously appear! I'm 28 in January and getting to the point of wanting a family etc etc (as does he)... I want to make sure I am with the right person and I won't start getting doubts as has happened currently and on a couple of occasions in the past where we just seem to clash. On the other hand, I am wondering if I am just holding on because I am scared I won't find anyone else that can provide what I want out of life etc. Just feeling very lonely and confused and want to make the right decision. My parents are away currently so I am on my own in the house and yesterday went to the game on my own without my dad... I didn't realise I could feel so lonely surrounded by so many people!

Came into this late, so apologies.

For what it's worth I think every relationship reaches a kind of cross roads during the first few years. It happens when you've beeen with each other a while and thoughts naturally start to turn towards whether " this is the one " or " do I move on ".

It's only natural that you feel the way you've been feeling and fellas think like this too, but don't put it is eloquently as you. A fellas version would be - " she's doing my head in " !!!!!!

As others have said the " spark " goes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It either means one of two things in my experience - you've moved into the being comfy stage or it's time to move on. Only you can decide which one it is.

From what I've read it doesn't sound to me like you want to split up at all. I had a patch like this with my missus and what it was down to in the end was that she wanted proper commitement and I couldn't see it and thought everything was fine. What you have to take into account is most fellas are useless at reading the signals women send to them, which must be incredibly frustrating for the woman and leads to tension / arguments.

Sit down and have a good talk with him. Make sure there's no ale involved as if it gets all emotional that won't help !

Ps - those fellas in the pub are just that " fellas in the pub ". After they leave they go home to their partners too !

 

[matty1878]

Only just caught up on this matty. I'm so sorry to here that. My Max and Nala are my best mates, I love them more than most humans. I'd be distraught. I totally understand. Sending love your way mate.

Thankyou mate.

 

[wbn61]

Think my mask is slipping now. Finding it hard to keep my happy face and people are starting to notice. I have tried doing more things, I have been out twice this weekend but it takes its toll and I feel lousy as hell. I just want to go to bed all the time but fight it and stay up until it gets unbearable then I have to relent and go up to bed. Took some painkillers tonight for the 1st time in months because it was just wearing me down.
I am not being defeatist but it's horrible feeling like this everyday and I know there is nothing I can do but just put up with it. Thanks for reading and I hope everyone is ok.

 

[COYBL25]

Think my mask is slipping now. Finding it hard to keep my happy face and people are starting to notice. I have tried doing more things, I have been out twice this weekend but it takes its toll and I feel lousy as hell. I just want to go to bed all the time but fight it and stay up until it gets unbearable then I have to relent and go up to bed. Took some painkillers tonight for the 1st time in months because it was just wearing me down.
I am not being defeatist but it's horrible feeling like this everyday and I know there is nothing I can do but just put up with it. Thanks for reading and I hope everyone is ok.

How are you feeling today mate ?

Ps - No one on here would ever call you defeatist !

 

[BiggyRat]

Think my mask is slipping now. Finding it hard to keep my happy face and people are starting to notice. I have tried doing more things, I have been out twice this weekend but it takes its toll and I feel lousy as hell. I just want to go to bed all the time but fight it and stay up until it gets unbearable then I have to relent and go up to bed. Took some painkillers tonight for the 1st time in months because it was just wearing me down.
I am not being defeatist but it's horrible feeling like this everyday and I know there is nothing I can do but just put up with it. Thanks for reading and I hope everyone is ok.

There are many definitions of defeatist & I'm not seeing your name on any of them.

Perhaps if you consider those that are closest to you & how much quality time you can have with them. Maybe, if you think of those times you need sleep as your battery recharge that enables you to spend time with them comfortably? Measure out the rest so that it approximates your "up" time as much as you can.

Also, remember to vent at us as much as possible. Get out any negativity here...we can take it mate!

 

[RetroCat]

Think my mask is slipping now. Finding it hard to keep my happy face and people are starting to notice. I have tried doing more things, I have been out twice this weekend but it takes its toll and I feel lousy as hell. I just want to go to bed all the time but fight it and stay up until it gets unbearable then I have to relent and go up to bed. Took some painkillers tonight for the 1st time in months because it was just wearing me down.
I am not being defeatist but it's horrible feeling like this everyday and I know there is nothing I can do but just put up with it. Thanks for reading and I hope everyone is ok.

Mate, I don’t think anyone’s going to be upset if you’re not smiling 24/7 and there are better things to use your energy for than maintaining that mask. When my mum was dying it didn’t make me feel any worse when she would talk about how she felt and now I’m glad she was honest.

I hope you got some decent sleep last night and feel more rested today. There’s some beautiful colours starting on the trees here and the weather looks like it might be quite bright over Wales way

 

[wbn61]

How are you feeling today mate ?

Ps - No one on here would ever call you defeatist !

not too good sorry to say, just waiting for the district nurse and see how I go from there.

 

[wbn61]

There are many definitions of defeatist & I'm not seeing your name on any of them.

Perhaps if you consider those that are closest to you & how much quality time you can have with them. Maybe, if you think of those times you need sleep as your battery recharge that enables you to spend time with them comfortably? Measure out the rest so that it approximates your "up" time as much as you can.

Also, remember to vent at us as much as possible. Get out any negativity here...we can take it mate!

It's hard trying to balance sleep with being awake, I need to go upstairs to get to bed and once i'm there I don't want to leave (like most people lol) and it's hard staying down here and fight to stay awake.
I know you can take my rants and vents because you are all good caring people.

 

[Ashtonian]

I haven't been on this for a good while and seems I only come back when I am suffering some sadness! I must rectify that because you are all good people... But life gets in the way sometimes. Anyway, suffering a lot at the moment with relationship issues. I am currently sat in my mum and dad's house having moved a load of stuff out of my boyfriend's house yesterday (we've been together for 2 1/2 years... Lived together for 1 and a half). We had been going through a crappy patch and trying to fix things and in the end we thought breaking up would be best and see what happens. Something needed to happen in order to find out how we both feel etc. As soon as it happened, I woke up the next day and thought what have we done? He's a good lad (albeit a kopite!), with a good heart and he provides well, works hard, has a great nature... I was just missing some kind of spark... I work in a pub and the attention received off people was making me think why do I not get this attention at home? I understand it won't be on the same level and 'sparks' do not last or whatever... But still, it was getting to me and made me doubt things. I just don't know what to do really. He says he wants a few days to think things over... whereas I am impatient and wanting all of the answers to miraculously appear! I'm 28 in January and getting to the point of wanting a family etc etc (as does he)... I want to make sure I am with the right person and I won't start getting doubts as has happened currently and on a couple of occasions in the past where we just seem to clash. On the other hand, I am wondering if I am just holding on because I am scared I won't find anyone else that can provide what I want out of life etc. Just feeling very lonely and confused and want to make the right decision. My parents are away currently so I am on my own in the house and yesterday went to the game on my own without my dad... I didn't realise I could feel so lonely surrounded by so many people!

Ok. Going to be a little different in this response so i don't mean any disrespect or anything by anything i say, i type from my head in here lol

Are you sure you want to be with him then? If you doubt you want to be with him then that is usually the answer. You are worried because you are concerned about being all alone or potentially seeing him with someone else? If this is the case then push past it. I was with my best friend for 3 years, inseparable we were, she doubted me, now she is gay and living the life she probably wanted and i have the life i would have wanted. Her doubt ended up being spot on about it, not that it helps my view of the whole thing.

So if this lad was the one you wanted to commit to and go off and be married to and stuff, you wouldn't doubt it as much. Trust your doubt rather than question it, if you know what you want deep inside then you will see the answer. Sparks do last, they form a very important part of a long term relationship when you look at that other person 30 years later and still see the same person you fell for.

What you want is the attention you feel like you deserve and you aren't getting that anymore from your BF. One question i have there is, why do you think he isn't paying as much attention as he did before? not every relationship is built to last, sometimes you put it down to a good couple of years and part ways. These things happen.


Disclaimer, the above is hopefully trying to play the other side to any responses you get. I don't mean it in a harsh way whatsoever and if i am wrong then disregard anything i have said. But i think perhaps it might be helpful to get told the other side of the story and then make your own mind up?