Going through a really bad time myself at the moment. Had an extremely stressful 18 months, wife started a new job with longer hours which meant I was doing more of the household chores. We then had to move out of our home (subsidence) which placed a great strain on our relationship. We are back in our original home now, but my wife has dropped the bombshell she no longer wants to be with me. I adore my kids and they adolise me and the thought of me leaving would devastate them and me. My wife hasn't really given me an explanation bar we have become 'distant' from one another, I've said its understandable bearing in mind what we've been through, but I still love her and for the sake of the kids I want to 'turn things around'. This predictament has given me many sleepless nights, I'm worried sick how the kids will be affected, finciancially how I'll be affected and losing the woman I love. Spoke to a councellor for advice but was told to write things down at night my thoughts when I'm not sleeping. Can't say this has really helped. I'm sleeping on the couch, I've told the kids it's because of 'daddy's bad back'. When I try to talk to her she tells me I can't help how I feel. I work hard, am a fantastic dad (her words) and would do anything to change things back to how they were 18 months ago. Advice would be very much appreciated.
Been here mate. Exact same scenario apart from house move.
Missus was at work later and later and later. Then we argued a lot. Then I went further and further down her list of priorities. A few weeks of misery passed and then, just as she began to brighten up and my depression was lifting a little, she dropped the "I don't love you anymore" straight out of nowhere. I was hit for six.
I remember telling the bairn one night and feeling ill. I was crushing her world and showing her that love isn't for life and isn't forever at the age of 4...
That's horrific. To break the notion of something so solid for a toddler.
I stayed at my parents house for 8 months then managed to scrape together enough money for a house. The place is currently a dump as I undergo renovations and I've recently changed jobs too with greater responsibility.
I slid into a terrible depression a few months back and I've only recently dug my way back out again.
My wife left me in April 2015 and I've still not fully recovered from it yet.
I still dream about her and still wonder if there's a chance, but she has hurt me too much now and, although she'd never admit it, she was definitely sleeping with someone else and didn't have the guts to tell me herself.
I don't know what advice to offer you, other than start preparing now. Divorce is a messy storm of money, second guesses and it will soon be a matter of paperwork that ends a relationship that was once bound by something intangible such as love.
The ex and I are amicable, but we'll never be okay again. She made me break my daughter's heart and I'll never ever forgive her for that. Fortunately we negotiated custody outside of the courts and make our own arrangements. She knew she couldn't do that as her family would have fully disowned her - they have only just started talking to her again.
If you want a chat, just send me a message mate. But I'm a sad beggar and I'll bore the pants off you, more than likely. Haha.
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All the best.
