Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[COYBL25]

Considering going to the doctors after Christmas and requesting to be put back on citalopram. I've been off all meds mostly for about 3 years, even during that awful spell earlier in the year when I really should have been on them I was so bad. I don't feel depressed now but I still feel a bit bluesy and have done for a few months, my low confidence and social anxiety are pretty poor at the minute and I don't feel like it's ever going to improve on it's own.

As I've said before, I've lost a fair bit of my social life since starting this new job and have failed to build new proper friendships with any of my new colleagues. No one is nasty to me or anything, they're all fine to interact with but I just don't feel included because I know they all socialise together during the day and outside of work and I feel like I'm on the outside looking in which depressing considering we're all around the same age. I feel like I'm struggling to get my personality across a lot of the time and it's really starting to get me down, people thinking I'm some cold fish whom it's not worth talking too generally. Would going back on the meds help at all to bring me back up a bit? I just don't want to be feeling sorry for myself most of the time because otherwise it won't ever get better.

Any advice, it would be greatly appreciated thanks. Merry Christmas everyone.

Hi mate.

I don't think the meds are going to change your work situation at all. At the mo youre the " new boy " and it'll take time to gel with your work colleagues, if at all. Some work places are pretty close knit and you have earn the right to be seen as part of the gang. I'm sure many on here have been through this is a new job or when switching depts, it's almost like starting afresh. I've always found that no matter where you work there's always at least one person you get on with.

Give it time mate x

 

[EFCPaul]

Hi mate.

I don't think the meds are going to change your work situation at all. At the mo youre the " new boy " and it'll take time to gel with your work colleagues, if at all. Some work places are pretty close knit and you have earn the right to be seen as part of the gang. I'm sure many on here have been through this is a new job or when switching depts, it's almost like starting afresh. I've always found that no matter where you work there's always at least one person you get on with.

Give it time mate x

Thanks mate.

I'm really not that arsed about the situation in work, I think it says more about them as people than it does me if I'm not going to be included in anything when I've given no one any reason to dislike me (that I know). My point is that I feel my low confidence and anxiety means that I'm maybe reluctant to open myself up when I know deep down I really want too. My sleeping pattern is not good admittedly, I have early morning starts and struggle to go to sleep early so I often go in on maybe 4 or 5 hours sleep which not good at all.

I've had Kalms suggested to me, been told by a trusted friend they worked wonders for him. Might give them a go. I'm not ashamed whatsoever about the idea of going back on the meds if I ever one day have too and I really don't think any person should be, though some are I gather. If I can avoid it though that would be good, as I've said I've been off them for a long time and see it as progress.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks mate.

I'm really not that arsed about the situation in work, I think it says more about them as people than it does me if I'm not going to be included in anything when I've given no one any reason to dislike me (that I know). My point is that I feel my low confidence and anxiety means that I'm maybe reluctant to open myself up when I know deep down I really want too. My sleeping pattern is not good admittedly, I have early morning starts and struggle to go to sleep early so I often go in on maybe 4 or 5 hours sleep which not good at all.

I've had Kalms suggested to me, been told by a trusted friend they worked wonders for him. Might give them a go. I'm not ashamed whatsoever about the idea of going back on the meds if I ever one day have too and I really don't think any person should be, though some are I gather. If I can avoid it though that would be good, as I've said I've been off them for a long time and see it as progress.

Spot on there. If your work colleagues are bellends, nothing is going to change that. Why should you open up to them, when they don't sound like they're being very friendly towards you ?

With regards to " Kalms " . They're a mild natural sedative, there's many similar on the market. The best one I found was called " Valerian Root ". You can get it off the likes of Ebay really cheap. It does work for some people, but shouldn't be taken with prescription meds. The best sleep aid used to be " Night Nurse " . However druggies found that if you mixed it with other stuff it gave you a massive high ( seriously ) , so whatever the good stuff was got taken out off Night Nurse and it doesn't work anymore

 

[cronullasharks]

Thanks mate.

I'm really not that arsed about the situation in work, I think it says more about them as people than it does me if I'm not going to be included in anything when I've given no one any reason to dislike me (that I know). My point is that I feel my low confidence and anxiety means that I'm maybe reluctant to open myself up when I know deep down I really want too. My sleeping pattern is not good admittedly, I have early morning starts and struggle to go to sleep early so I often go in on maybe 4 or 5 hours sleep which not good at all.

I've had Kalms suggested to me, been told by a trusted friend they worked wonders for him. Might give them a go. I'm not ashamed whatsoever about the idea of going back on the meds if I ever one day have too and I really don't think any person should be, though some are I gather. If I can avoid it though that would be good, as I've said I've been off them for a long time and see it as progress.

What would their reaction be if you just said to a few of them "fancy a beer after work" ? Something simple like that may be a bit of an ice breaker ?

 

[Billy Dean]

Thanks mate.

I'm really not that arsed about the situation in work, I think it says more about them as people than it does me if I'm not going to be included in anything when I've given no one any reason to dislike me (that I know). My point is that I feel my low confidence and anxiety means that I'm maybe reluctant to open myself up when I know deep down I really want too. My sleeping pattern is not good admittedly, I have early morning starts and struggle to go to sleep early so I often go in on maybe 4 or 5 hours sleep which not good at all.

I've had Kalms suggested to me, been told by a trusted friend they worked wonders for him. Might give them a go. I'm not ashamed whatsoever about the idea of going back on the meds if I ever one day have too and I really don't think any person should be, though some are I gather. If I can avoid it though that would be good, as I've said I've been off them for a long time and see it as progress.

Both Kalms and Valerian Root have helped me when I've had sleeping difficulties mate.

Re the work thing I find when I start a new job I'm a bit anxious to impress and not make any mistakes which makes me slow to open up and be able to have a laugh with people. Not sure if that's the case for you. But yeah as @COYBL25 said could also be because they don't open up quickly to newcomers. Don't know how long you've been there but sometimes it takes longer to get your feet under the table than others.

Re social anxiety, I've posted this before so apologies, but I find this site really useful: http://www.comfortzonecrusher.com/home
There's a lot of insight on there about social anxiety and how to overcome it.

 

[EFCPaul]

Both Kalms and Valerian Root have helped me when I've had sleeping difficulties mate.

Re the work thing I find when I start a new job I'm a bit anxious to impress and not make any mistakes which makes me slow to open up and be able to have a laugh with people. Not sure if that's the case for you. But yeah as @COYBL25 said could also be because they don't open up quickly to newcomers. Don't know how long you've been there but sometimes it takes longer to get your feet under the table than others.

Re social anxiety, I've posted this before so apologies, but I find this site really useful: http://www.comfortzonecrusher.com/home
There's a lot of insight on there about social anxiety and how to overcome it.

What would their reaction be if you just said to a few of them "fancy a beer after work" ? Something simple like that may be a bit of an ice breaker ?

Honestly not sure mate, it's something I've thought about doing particulary with a girl I quite fancy who I know is single.

We had our Christmas works' night out a few weeks back though where I thought "right this is my chance to bond with them all here". We started off in a bar and everything was cool, everyone having bevvies and laughing. Then all of a sudden everyone just left leaving me and a few old timers behind not knowing where they'd gone so I just went home. Found out the next day that about 6 or 7 of them went back to an apartment for a party without me. One of the older gents in work couldn't believe it when I told him and called them all b******s and I tend to agree with him, I take that as a clear snub. Again there's no problems between me and anyone at all, my assumption is that they maybe think I'm a stiff because my anxiety stops me from opening up sometimes even though I do try to be as sound as I can.

Probably going to give the kalms a go and see if they make me feel better and more at ease which is all I want really. If I manage that then I think everything else will sort itself out naturally.

 

[hallamblue]

I'd just like to wish everyone on this thread a peaceful Christmas, and I'm sure we will all spare a thought for Mike's family as they spend their first Christmas without him. Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences, good and bad, throughout the year.

 

[COYBL25]

Honestly not sure mate, it's something I've thought about doing particulary with a girl I quite fancy who I know is single.

We had our Christmas works' night out a few weeks back though where I thought "right this is my chance to bond with them all here". We started off in a bar and everything was cool, everyone having bevvies and laughing. Then all of a sudden everyone just left leaving me and a few old timers behind not knowing where they'd gone so I just went home. Found out the next day that about 6 or 7 of them went back to an apartment for a party without me. One of the older gents in work couldn't believe it when I told him and called them all b******s and I tend to agree with him, I take that as a clear snub. Again there's no problems between me and anyone at all, my assumption is that they maybe think I'm a stiff because my anxiety stops me from opening up sometimes even though I do try to be as sound as I can.

Probably going to give the kalms a go and see if they make me feel better and more at ease which is all I want really. If I manage that then I think everything else will sort itself out naturally.

I worked in place like this years ago. There was what I called an A and a B team. The A team behaved just like you describe the younger people you work with - nights out that only certain people where invited too etc. Deep down they were just a gang of insecure bellends who needed each other to make themselves feel good about themselves. I ended up making good mates with a fella much older than me, who was great company and new the job inside out, unlike the bellends. Leave them to it mate and stop worrying about them.

Ps - aerobic excercise is great for combatting anxiety x

 

[COYBL25]

I'd just like to wish everyone on this thread a peaceful Christmas, and I'm sure we will all spare a thought for Mike's family as they spend their first Christmas without him. Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences, good and bad, throughout the year.

I was thinking the same thing myself the other day, great shout

 

[JelavicBrate2]

Honestly not sure mate, it's something I've thought about doing particulary with a girl I quite fancy who I know is single.

We had our Christmas works' night out a few weeks back though where I thought "right this is my chance to bond with them all here". We started off in a bar and everything was cool, everyone having bevvies and laughing. Then all of a sudden everyone just left leaving me and a few old timers behind not knowing where they'd gone so I just went home. Found out the next day that about 6 or 7 of them went back to an apartment for a party without me. One of the older gents in work couldn't believe it when I told him and called them all b******s and I tend to agree with him, I take that as a clear snub. Again there's no problems between me and anyone at all, my assumption is that they maybe think I'm a stiff because my anxiety stops me from opening up sometimes even though I do try to be as sound as I can.

Probably going to give the kalms a go and see if they make me feel better and more at ease which is all I want really. If I manage that then I think everything else will sort itself out naturally.

Don't make an effort with people who show you disrespect like that. Obviously we all know in work and lots of other places that some people know each other better than you know them but to not even to tell you they were going is disgraceful. I worked with a group of Irish lads who were from the same town and were all United supporters yet they included me in all their social events. So I don't buy, they've worked here longer than me mentality, some people are just divvies just avoid them. I gave up caring about that nonsense and realised it's sometimes bettter to be on your own than mix with certain people.

 

[granter79]

Hope all on this thread have a nice Xmas and new year. Tough times for a lot of people but keep the heads held high .
I will be throwing myself into it with my 2 young girls but deep down at lot sadness in me for with not having other loved ones not with me. 8 years now without my father and not sure iv even processed my mam passing nearly 5 weeks ago.
Keep posting folks especially over this week as alot of super people on here to listen and give advice

 

[Eggs]

...ashamed that I rarely pop in here but I appreciate Christmas is a particularly difficult time for some. Sincere best wishes to all, great to see that nobody is truly alone on GOT.

 

[COYBL25]

As some others have posted, this can be a really difficult time for people for to a variety of reasons.

If anyone is struggling to cope on Christmas Day / festive period and needs someone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me, even of its just to vent.

I can't promise when I'll get back to you ( probably late ), but I will get back to you x

 

[GwladysBlue]

Have a great Christmas everyone.

I know this time of year can be very hard, but you've gotten this far which shows the strength you have.

 

[Blue Cheese]

I'll be on here xmas day as my partner works so if anyone wants to chat feel free.

Stay safe everyone, Merry Christmas from Cheese x