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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

PaulieMc said:
Giving this Tinder a go, it has helped get my mind off things a fair bit. Hopefully I get some matches soon. My mate swears it's a great way to meet new people.

Went off the citalopram for a few days and definitely felt a difference, luckily I was off work. I'm back on them now and plan to stay on them for the foreseeable future. Work is a bit better, finding myself less nervous and generally a bit more chatty. Still having moments of terrible anxiety but they don't last as long. Thoughts of self-harm are still there but are more fleeting.

Still hoping something happens soon that really perks me up and gives me a reason to look forward to the future.
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Good luck Paulie hope you have a positive experience which gives you a lift and concentrates your mind.
 
Got a counsellor meeting later today. Had 'homework' (tables where I state when I'm anxious). Completely forgot about them and now can't find them anywhere.

Poo.
 
PaulieMc said:
Giving this Tinder a go, it has helped get my mind off things a fair bit. Hopefully I get some matches soon. My mate swears it's a great way to meet new people.

Went off the citalopram for a few days and definitely felt a difference, luckily I was off work. I'm back on them now and plan to stay on them for the foreseeable future. Work is a bit better, finding myself less nervous and generally a bit more chatty. Still having moments of terrible anxiety but they don't last as long. Thoughts of self-harm are still there but are more fleeting.

Still hoping something happens soon that really perks me up and gives me a reason to look forward to the future.
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Have you tried meditation mate?
 
PaulieMc said:
Yeah mate good advice just I'm not sure how to put it into action. I definitely want to get out more and meet new people, forge new relationships. That's what's been getting me down really, me feeling bored by my life the way it is but not seeing any way to change it, it feels very disheartening.

There aren't any pubs around where I live or any places for strangers to meet others really. There is a gym I go too but I usually go by myself and a gym isn't generally a place to get chatting to new people anyway, people go to get their heads down and have a session not to mingle. I have friends I hang out with socially but whenever we go out to bars I usually find my bottle goes and so I don't make any first moves with anyone.

I've recently decided to have a go of this Tinder app thing but I'm still trying to get to grips with how to use it properly. Hopefully things pick in the next few months, even if it's just meeting a few new people and freshening up my social circle.
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It all about finding a social circle your comfortable with my brother, some people on here I relate too some I don't, I understand exactly what your going with because I've been through it before. I was brought up in a very strict religious family, in a culture where homosexuality is unthinkable my Balkan Blues will understand what I'm saying, so I can't really relate to other Blues struggle. I simply accept their might be others who can help them, however I think you just need to find a friendship group you feel comfortable with and a loving girlfriend also. I can give you advice on these issues if you need them. I was once ashamed of my background as the son of refugees from ex Yugoslavia from back in the day, however both of my parents arrived quite a long time ago. I felt that my experience of the world was wrong but it was just different, you just have to find a group where you feel comfortable. Mine was people who loved football and drinking for all it's flaws.
 

PaulieMc said:
No mate but maybe it's worth a go? I've heard it really helps settle you're anxieties which are often out of control.
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Hi paulie, if you don't mind me chipping into this. Hopefully i can be helpful. A friend of mine swears by meditation as a way to ease her mind. I am not sure without reading back what troubles you have but i would give it ago for sure. The key is having the time and space to be able to do it without interrupting it as it is meant to be all sub conscious based i think. But i would look into it paulie, even just out of interest because it is meant to be very good for the mind.
 
Kenshin said:
Hi paulie, if you don't mind me chipping into this. Hopefully i can be helpful. A friend of mine swears by meditation as a way to ease her mind. I am not sure without reading back what troubles you have but i would give it ago for sure. The key is having the time and space to be able to do it without interrupting it as it is meant to be all sub conscious based i think. But i would look into it paulie, even just out of interest because it is meant to be very good for the mind.
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Going to give it a go. :)
 
MILOVENT24 said:
Firstly, I would like to say I am sorry to DualityNSNO for his loss, and to all other blues on this page.

This is hard, but also, a clever way of expressing themselves.

I want to share with you my story.....

I qualified as a primary school teacher in 2013, and I got a job in some mess of an area in east lancashire. (I live in liverpool) I started looking there because my girlfriend at the time got a job in Darwen. With this in mind we moved to Darwen together, I got a job even further north. We moved on. I was happy with my job, I am a primary school teacher, however, after being a teacher in year 1, getting OUTSTANDING, and then moving to year 5 getting OUTSTANDING, I was moved to year 6 and was marked as GOOD WITH OUTSTANDING..... Everything, 4 years later after poor SATS results, when I was in year 6, I was indirectly blamed. Which caused me a lot of depression, my wife, blamed me for this ongoing abuse from school... She told me I wasnt working hard enough.... I took this on board and decided to work even harder and harder.... I thought about planning better lessons and working harder.... When I was reobserved, I was told I was inadequate... (You literally have to have your thumbs up your arse and do nothing). After this they decided my job was in jeopardy (in context, they had 3 years of bad year 6 data and they where in risk of their own jobs, so why not blame a rookie??) I gave my all, 6am start till 7pm monday till Friday....

Basically, I resigned my job, my wife hates me, I have no job, I am scared for my own mental health... I drink a lot, people are picking up on it and now..... I dont know what to do with my life. I dont think my wife cares for me, do I move back to liverpool, I own a house, I am so lost, I am miserable and I hate myself. I am good at my job and all I want to do is be a good teacher, make kids laugh and show them the way..... Help.
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Hi mate

There are far more qualified, experienced people to help you with how you're feeling. I thought I may be able to offer a few words from the works perspective.

In 2013 you were an outstanding teacher. Their words.

But, what made you outstanding? Find the reports if you can. No matter if you can't. Instead, get yourself to Costa or Starbucks or wherever with a pen and piece of paper. Whatever made you outstanding, write it down. include the times you saw real progress in your children etc.

On a second piece of paper, write down your experiences in the last year. What are the differences? Are you doing the same things? If so, is that the problem? If not, is that the problem?

I say all this simply because I know from my Mrs that the volume of work involved in primary school teaching is, in a word, horrendous. As you say, long hours from dawn until dusk, very little resource from the school and the sentence "Ofstead are due here anytime now" seems the norm now. Firefighting. In all of that horror, I don't know how any of you manage to consistently maintain / improve as teachers. It seems impossible.

I guess what I'm saying is, in all the hard-work, in all the hours, in all the grief you've got from your managers, have you forgotten aspects of what made you an outstanding teacher? You need to keep remembering that word - 'outstanding'.

A fresh start work-wise would do you the world of good. Freshen things up, reinvigorate you. I think as well, if you take the time to remember what made you so good at your job, your enjoyment will return too.

Happy to help with your CV / covering letter too if you decide a move would be good for you.

Let me know if you need anything mate.

Cheers
 

Eggs said:
....having two teachers in my family I know the pressure. My son had the 'calling' and I think it really suited him but he fell out of love with it and is earning much more in IT. Like you, my daughter in law is a primary teacher and it's intense. Seems to me you're an outstanding teacher, perhaps you were trying to hard to increase your marks and forgot to be yourself. Not fully sure of your home situation but have you thought of taking your skills abroad to give yourself a break? My son did a few years in Dubai where I know there's a shortage and it did him no harm at all.
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This. Would absolutely recommend going abroad - exactly what I would do if 20 years younger. Good pay, smaller classses, respect and a new way of life. Sadly wouldn't recommend anybody to teach in teach in this country any more.
 
mkrudden said:
Hi mate

There are far more qualified, experienced people to help you with how you're feeling. I thought I may be able to offer a few words from the works perspective.

In 2013 you were an outstanding teacher. Their words.

But, what made you outstanding? Find the reports if you can. No matter if you can't. Instead, get yourself to Costa or Starbucks or wherever with a pen and piece of paper. Whatever made you outstanding, write it down. include the times you saw real progress in your children etc.

On a second piece of paper, write down your experiences in the last year. What are the differences? Are you doing the same things? If so, is that the problem? If not, is that the problem?

I say all this simply because I know from my Mrs that the volume of work involved in primary school teaching is, in a word, horrendous. As you say, long hours from dawn until dusk, very little resource from the school and the sentence "Ofstead are due here anytime now" seems the norm now. Firefighting. In all of that horror, I don't know how any of you manage to consistently maintain / improve as teachers. It seems impossible.

I guess what I'm saying is, in all the hard-work, in all the hours, in all the grief you've got from your managers, have you forgotten aspects of what made you an outstanding teacher? You need to keep remembering that word - 'outstanding'.

A fresh start work-wise would do you the world of good. Freshen things up, reinvigorate you. I think as well, if you take the time to remember what made you so good at your job, your enjoyment will return too.

Happy to help with your CV / covering letter too if you decide a move would be good for you.

Let me know if you need anything mate.

Cheers
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Great post mate.
 

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