It's the start of your recuperation and you should feel proud of yourself. By refusing to sit back and just take the crap you have finally drawn the metaphorical line in the sand. There is no going back now - your confidence and, more importantly, your self esteem is returning. Don't allow any minor setbacks get the better of you. Perhaps this is was what you needed all along. No longer the shrinking violet, eh!? Good on you.
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Don't want this to be a political post or anything of the sort, more a reminder that this is a long-term thing and no quick fix.
https://www.york.ac.uk/news-and-eve...-than-half-of-mental-health-patients-relapse/
For what it's worth, I think I'm 8 months and counting with my counselor at the moment. Slow and steady.
https://www.york.ac.uk/news-and-eve...-than-half-of-mental-health-patients-relapse/
For what it's worth, I think I'm 8 months and counting with my counselor at the moment. Slow and steady.
Thanks for sharing.
mkrudden
Player Valuation: £40m
Bad day.
My usual 12 hour killer shift and we were left short of people so it was made even harder. Put a proper shift in (as I feel I always do) doing heavy lifting and putting God knows how big many orders through the till, really hard work that makes you sweat and tired. The usual suspects were left to run free and do next to nothing, it angered me so much throughout the day like it always does but tonight was one time too many so I snapped.
10 mins before closing me and another worker are doing the last two orders, two really big ones, we're exhausted and both in crappy moods. The manager and three other workers (whom are all the same job title as us) literally 10 feet away from as we struggles on the tills, sitting there on their phones and reading magazines whilst laughing. Absolutely lost it so I got up and walked off to get my coat telling myself I wasn't doing one more lift for that shift. Manager caught up with me and asked what I was doing and I lost it a bit. Used some regrettable language (didn't swear AT him, but swore as I spoke) and he got angry in return so we stayed after closing time for a meeting. My other colleague stayed behind too because he had stuff of his own to say.
I told the manager that it was not fair, that others were getting paid to sit around and do literally nothing except chat to their mates whilst I do the hardest jobs and break my back all day. Told him I don't want a pat on the back, I want the same rules to apply for everyone. He wanted me to give him examples so I did. Reminded him I was told off for sitting down after a doing loads of heavy lifting whilst a minute before I'd seen him and four others literally leaning against the wall gabbing and doing nothing. His comeback?
"But that's just one my pet peeves though, when I see someone sitting at work."
I told him that wasn't an answer and then gave him more examples of favouritism which there's too many to go into but he tried to palm a few of them off as jokes or misunderstandings. Got more crappy answers like "I told (Person A) who you think is doing nothing to do this specific job. You can check the cameras if you like. You think they're doing nothing because you might not see them but they are, you're just not seeing the bigger picture. If you need help because you think you're not going to get something finished in time you need to ask."
I replied with;
"I'm not bothered about looking at people on cameras, I believe what my eyes see and I do see what they're doing. These people are doing nothing all day, being given easy life so they can hang about whilst others like me are given the sh***y end of the stick every day with the horrible stuff and it's not on. We should be treated the same because we're the same job title, they're meant to be doing the same thing I'm doing. I'm struggling half the time to do the work of 3 people because I'm left on my own because others are being allowed to just wander off and stand around. And it's not on me to have to ask for help when you're all there standing right in front on me watching. You should be telling them to chip in and pull their weight, you're the manager and you can see what's happening. It should be a team effort with something big like that and not a group standing around doing nothing, leaving one person to finish by himself."
We ended up finished with him saying;
"Well I'll take on board what you're saying and keep an eye out for it. It won't leave this room but in future speak up more, I don't know you have a problem if you don't come tell me."
I don't believe him for a second, every word will probably trickle back and more importantly nothing will change, least not in the long-term. Seems a nice guy at heart and I regret my manner with him but he clearly doesn't give a toss about any points I raised. I hit him with a few truth bombs and he didn't have any proper counter arguments, just long-winded excuses. Wish I could have argued my case even better but I went VERY dry mouthed and swore a bit, I was extremely wound up. Don't regret 90% of what I said though, it's about time I stopped bottling it up.
Whole point is my frustration has been left to build and I let it explode in an unhealthy way. Got a doctor's appointment and I'm going to tell him about and ask his advice.
Thanks to anyone reading.
What a fantastic read, thanks for posting.
From an employment perspective, the art of good management is vastly underplayed in my opinion.
In so many industries, if a person is good at their job then they are escalated to management and told to ensure other people do theirs. The problem is though that in alot of cases, these new managers aren't given the tools / mentoring to become excellent managers and instead develop bad habits - seemingly like the one you work for.
Please though, don't take this as a defence of him - more of a general thought.
Back on to you - great stuff that you've spoken up. It takes a lot of bottle.
And don't despair at only being happy with 90% of what you said - speaking emotively as you did is bound to cause a few colourful words / tones in your voice.
Really pleased for you mate. Keep posting.
Blue Cheese
Mental Patient, GOT Ward
Not so much as a relapse in my case it just doesn't go, been on anti-depressants nearly 15years and if I attempt to come off them my brain goes haywire.
Blue Cheese
Mental Patient, GOT Ward
Bad day.
My usual 12 hour killer shift and we were left short of people so it was made even harder. Put a proper shift in (as I feel I always do) doing heavy lifting and putting God knows how big many orders through the till, really hard work that makes you sweat and tired. The usual suspects were left to run free and do next to nothing, it angered me so much throughout the day like it always does but tonight was one time too many so I snapped.
10 mins before closing me and another worker are doing the last two orders, two really big ones, we're exhausted and both in crappy moods. The manager and three other workers (whom are all the same job title as us) literally 10 feet away from as we struggles on the tills, sitting there on their phones and reading magazines whilst laughing. Absolutely lost it so I got up and walked off to get my coat telling myself I wasn't doing one more lift for that shift. Manager caught up with me and asked what I was doing and I lost it a bit. Used some regrettable language (didn't swear AT him, but swore as I spoke) and he got angry in return so we stayed after closing time for a meeting. My other colleague stayed behind too because he had stuff of his own to say.
I told the manager that it was not fair, that others were getting paid to sit around and do literally nothing except chat to their mates whilst I do the hardest jobs and break my back all day. Told him I don't want a pat on the back, I want the same rules to apply for everyone. He wanted me to give him examples so I did. Reminded him I was told off for sitting down after a doing loads of heavy lifting whilst a minute before I'd seen him and four others literally leaning against the wall gabbing and doing nothing. His comeback?
"But that's just one my pet peeves though, when I see someone sitting at work."
I told him that wasn't an answer and then gave him more examples of favouritism which there's too many to go into but he tried to palm a few of them off as jokes or misunderstandings. Got more crappy answers like "I told (Person A) who you think is doing nothing to do this specific job. You can check the cameras if you like. You think they're doing nothing because you might not see them but they are, you're just not seeing the bigger picture. If you need help because you think you're not going to get something finished in time you need to ask."
I replied with;
"I'm not bothered about looking at people on cameras, I believe what my eyes see and I do see what they're doing. These people are doing nothing all day, being given easy life so they can hang about whilst others like me are given the sh***y end of the stick every day with the horrible stuff and it's not on. We should be treated the same because we're the same job title, they're meant to be doing the same thing I'm doing. I'm struggling half the time to do the work of 3 people because I'm left on my own because others are being allowed to just wander off and stand around. And it's not on me to have to ask for help when you're all there standing right in front on me watching. You should be telling them to chip in and pull their weight, you're the manager and you can see what's happening. It should be a team effort with something big like that and not a group standing around doing nothing, leaving one person to finish by himself."
We ended up finished with him saying;
"Well I'll take on board what you're saying and keep an eye out for it. It won't leave this room but in future speak up more, I don't know you have a problem if you don't come tell me."
I don't believe him for a second, every word will probably trickle back and more importantly nothing will change, least not in the long-term. Seems a nice guy at heart and I regret my manner with him but he clearly doesn't give a toss about any points I raised. I hit him with a few truth bombs and he didn't have any proper counter arguments, just long-winded excuses. Wish I could have argued my case even better but I went VERY dry mouthed and swore a bit, I was extremely wound up. Don't regret 90% of what I said though, it's about time I stopped bottling it up.
Whole point is my frustration has been left to build and I let it explode in an unhealthy way. Got a doctor's appointment and I'm going to tell him about and ask his advice.
Thanks to anyone reading.
If any of it gets back to your co-workers, complain to head office, it should be confidential. Manager will regret it in the end, having mates and treating them as such at work will only end in him getting his arse handed to him.
Well done for speaking up, make sure you do it more often from now on.
chrismpw
Player Valuation: £70m
Glad you let it all put. Next time don't knave it so long. Good management should want to hear of these things before they become issues. Very good management would spot it for themselves.Bad day.
My usual 12 hour killer shift and we were left short of people so it was made even harder. Put a proper shift in (as I feel I always do) doing heavy lifting and putting God knows how big many orders through the till, really hard work that makes you sweat and tired. The usual suspects were left to run free and do next to nothing, it angered me so much throughout the day like it always does but tonight was one time too many so I snapped.
10 mins before closing me and another worker are doing the last two orders, two really big ones, we're exhausted and both in crappy moods. The manager and three other workers (whom are all the same job title as us) literally 10 feet away from as we struggles on the tills, sitting there on their phones and reading magazines whilst laughing. Absolutely lost it so I got up and walked off to get my coat telling myself I wasn't doing one more lift for that shift. Manager caught up with me and asked what I was doing and I lost it a bit. Used some regrettable language (didn't swear AT him, but swore as I spoke) and he got angry in return so we stayed after closing time for a meeting. My other colleague stayed behind too because he had stuff of his own to say.
I told the manager that it was not fair, that others were getting paid to sit around and do literally nothing except chat to their mates whilst I do the hardest jobs and break my back all day. Told him I don't want a pat on the back, I want the same rules to apply for everyone. He wanted me to give him examples so I did. Reminded him I was told off for sitting down after a doing loads of heavy lifting whilst a minute before I'd seen him and four others literally leaning against the wall gabbing and doing nothing. His comeback?
"But that's just one my pet peeves though, when I see someone sitting at work."
I told him that wasn't an answer and then gave him more examples of favouritism which there's too many to go into but he tried to palm a few of them off as jokes or misunderstandings. Got more crappy answers like "I told (Person A) who you think is doing nothing to do this specific job. You can check the cameras if you like. You think they're doing nothing because you might not see them but they are, you're just not seeing the bigger picture. If you need help because you think you're not going to get something finished in time you need to ask."
I replied with;
"I'm not bothered about looking at people on cameras, I believe what my eyes see and I do see what they're doing. These people are doing nothing all day, being given easy life so they can hang about whilst others like me are given the sh***y end of the stick every day with the horrible stuff and it's not on. We should be treated the same because we're the same job title, they're meant to be doing the same thing I'm doing. I'm struggling half the time to do the work of 3 people because I'm left on my own because others are being allowed to just wander off and stand around. And it's not on me to have to ask for help when you're all there standing right in front on me watching. You should be telling them to chip in and pull their weight, you're the manager and you can see what's happening. It should be a team effort with something big like that and not a group standing around doing nothing, leaving one person to finish by himself."
We ended up finished with him saying;
"Well I'll take on board what you're saying and keep an eye out for it. It won't leave this room but in future speak up more, I don't know you have a problem if you don't come tell me."
I don't believe him for a second, every word will probably trickle back and more importantly nothing will change, least not in the long-term. Seems a nice guy at heart and I regret my manner with him but he clearly doesn't give a toss about any points I raised. I hit him with a few truth bombs and he didn't have any proper counter arguments, just long-winded excuses. Wish I could have argued my case even better but I went VERY dry mouthed and swore a bit, I was extremely wound up. Don't regret 90% of what I said though, it's about time I stopped bottling it up.
Whole point is my frustration has been left to build and I let it explode in an unhealthy way. Got a doctor's appointment and I'm going to tell him about and ask his advice.
Thanks to anyone reading.
Thanks to everyone for their supportive comments, has helped me feel better about the whole thing and realise that I was right to do what I did.
Manager seems a good guy, I've worked under far worse people, but fact of the matter is he's slipped into the habit and letting people get away with things to the point that they consider barely doing any work the norm, whilst others like me who have a real work-ethic and get stuck in are left to carry the side. A gang of arrogant, lazy people who have no one above coming down them to shape up because they're either related or long-time friends, it's that type of workplace. I am one of the few workers with no outside link to the place, I just stumbled upon the job randomly. Therefore I feel like I'm considered some sort of lackey who can be treated like a gobsh*te, well no chance.
I vented my frustrations and I feel better, though I expect nothing to chance. Glad I spoke my mind, at least it's known to the manager now that I'm not a shrinking violet who will just eat poo and learn to like the taste of it. You've got to stand up for yourself if you feel mis-treated otherwise you're self-respect will slowly ebb away.
Manager seems a good guy, I've worked under far worse people, but fact of the matter is he's slipped into the habit and letting people get away with things to the point that they consider barely doing any work the norm, whilst others like me who have a real work-ethic and get stuck in are left to carry the side. A gang of arrogant, lazy people who have no one above coming down them to shape up because they're either related or long-time friends, it's that type of workplace. I am one of the few workers with no outside link to the place, I just stumbled upon the job randomly. Therefore I feel like I'm considered some sort of lackey who can be treated like a gobsh*te, well no chance.
I vented my frustrations and I feel better, though I expect nothing to chance. Glad I spoke my mind, at least it's known to the manager now that I'm not a shrinking violet who will just eat poo and learn to like the taste of it. You've got to stand up for yourself if you feel mis-treated otherwise you're self-respect will slowly ebb away.
Sounds tough that. Do you have good and bad days or does the treatment keep you on an even keel?
Blue Cheese
Mental Patient, GOT Ward
I have good periods and bad periods, mood swings but I can go months feeling fine and then it hits. It's learning to deal with the bad times in a way that disrupts your life as little as possible, not so easy though as most in here will testify.
Blue Cheese
Mental Patient, GOT Ward
Excellent mate, nepotism and cronyism is a nightmare when on the outside, I've been in a job like that myself, I walked because it was a horrendous experience of never feeling accepted. Well done again.
Bad day.
My usual 12 hour killer shift and we were left short of people so it was made even harder. Put a proper shift in (as I feel I always do) doing heavy lifting and putting God knows how big many orders through the till, really hard work that makes you sweat and tired. The usual suspects were left to run free and do next to nothing, it angered me so much throughout the day like it always does but tonight was one time too many so I snapped.
10 mins before closing me and another worker are doing the last two orders, two really big ones, we're exhausted and both in crappy moods. The manager and three other workers (whom are all the same job title as us) literally 10 feet away from as we struggles on the tills, sitting there on their phones and reading magazines whilst laughing. Absolutely lost it so I got up and walked off to get my coat telling myself I wasn't doing one more lift for that shift. Manager caught up with me and asked what I was doing and I lost it a bit. Used some regrettable language (didn't swear AT him, but swore as I spoke) and he got angry in return so we stayed after closing time for a meeting. My other colleague stayed behind too because he had stuff of his own to say.
I told the manager that it was not fair, that others were getting paid to sit around and do literally nothing except chat to their mates whilst I do the hardest jobs and break my back all day. Told him I don't want a pat on the back, I want the same rules to apply for everyone. He wanted me to give him examples so I did. Reminded him I was told off for sitting down after a doing loads of heavy lifting whilst a minute before I'd seen him and four others literally leaning against the wall gabbing and doing nothing. His comeback?
"But that's just one my pet peeves though, when I see someone sitting at work."
I told him that wasn't an answer and then gave him more examples of favouritism which there's too many to go into but he tried to palm a few of them off as jokes or misunderstandings. Got more crappy answers like "I told (Person A) who you think is doing nothing to do this specific job. You can check the cameras if you like. You think they're doing nothing because you might not see them but they are, you're just not seeing the bigger picture. If you need help because you think you're not going to get something finished in time you need to ask."
I replied with;
"I'm not bothered about looking at people on cameras, I believe what my eyes see and I do see what they're doing. These people are doing nothing all day, being given easy life so they can hang about whilst others like me are given the sh***y end of the stick every day with the horrible stuff and it's not on. We should be treated the same because we're the same job title, they're meant to be doing the same thing I'm doing. I'm struggling half the time to do the work of 3 people because I'm left on my own because others are being allowed to just wander off and stand around. And it's not on me to have to ask for help when you're all there standing right in front on me watching. You should be telling them to chip in and pull their weight, you're the manager and you can see what's happening. It should be a team effort with something big like that and not a group standing around doing nothing, leaving one person to finish by himself."
We ended up finished with him saying;
"Well I'll take on board what you're saying and keep an eye out for it. It won't leave this room but in future speak up more, I don't know you have a problem if you don't come tell me."
I don't believe him for a second, every word will probably trickle back and more importantly nothing will change, least not in the long-term. Seems a nice guy at heart and I regret my manner with him but he clearly doesn't give a toss about any points I raised. I hit him with a few truth bombs and he didn't have any proper counter arguments, just long-winded excuses. Wish I could have argued my case even better but I went VERY dry mouthed and swore a bit, I was extremely wound up. Don't regret 90% of what I said though, it's about time I stopped bottling it up.
Whole point is my frustration has been left to build and I let it explode in an unhealthy way. Got a doctor's appointment and I'm going to tell him about and ask his advice.
Thanks to anyone reading.
Well the main thing is that you did it. You may have misgivings the way you did it but I wouldn't worry too much over that. You should feel empowered by this....think of all the times you've said on here that you wanted to say something but didn't - then tore yourself up later with regrets at not doing so and felt weak and brow beaten. Build on this by channelling your anger against the shirkers and backbiters into positive thoughts for yourself. The lazy gets aren't your sort....and that's got to be an encouragement for starters !
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Just an update.
Saw the doctor today. He was very supportive. He's put me back on Citalapram and Propranol (sp?). He wants me to go back in 5 weeks to see how I'm doing. Feel more positive just for seeing him.
Thank you to everyone for your support. This thread is a great help.
Saw the doctor today. He was very supportive. He's put me back on Citalapram and Propranol (sp?). He wants me to go back in 5 weeks to see how I'm doing. Feel more positive just for seeing him.
Thank you to everyone for your support. This thread is a great help.
granter79
Player Valuation: £35m
Fair play mate. I think this will benefit u in the long run from reading your posts over the last while.
Work life needs to function properly to keep a balance outside work so I hope this improves for you.
Myself i had enough in work and managed to get out. In new place last 2 weeks n going great. Surrounded by all new people to the company so all on the same page. Been over training in the UK so it's been a social thing too so so far good.
Not sure of its an option for you to look to move bit credit to you for speaking up.
Cork Evertonian
Player Valuation: £50m
I wasn't in a good way myself for a few months.It started around January and reached a crescendo around early April.I didn't feel the need to seek help but i was suffering very extreme mood swings.I'd be very happy one minute.The next very sad or angry.I wasn't getting enjoyment at times out of the things that normally should bring joy to me.Things like watching and discussing football especially Everton and Ajax.Of course i was having relationship difficulties and that obviously was a massive factor behind my problems during this period.Thing's don't feel so bad now though.I haven't felt bad mentally in the past month and im just taking each day as it comes.I feel a lot happier now.I have had low moods at times for no reason as well.It's just that what i was talking about above was when i was at my worst.I think life is like this really long journey on the highway.You will go through dark parts of the highway and bright parts.But you won't be driving in the dark part of the road forever.You will end up back on a bright section of the road eventually.I think all human beings have their up's and down's really.It is impossible to be 100% happy all the time.When you are at your lowest.You have to think of the people and things that bring joy to you and brighten up your life and just keep on going.