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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Felt good the past few days, I think my ding-dong with the manager where I let out all my frustration that build over months and months has helped settle me down a bit, I'm not carrying around a big rock anymore because it's now been made clear how I feel instead of having to bottle it up. Hopefully this feeling lasts.

Still feeling torn over the situation with a few female colleagues I've talked about before though, it's likely way more simple than I explain to be but I still can't get my head around how I feel. Feel like a bad bell sometimes because I'm constantly flip-flopping in my own head how I feel about each one.
 

My husband of nearly 20 months has just informed me that he wants a divorce, I am beside myself. I have shared on here before about things that have happened in my past, which have left me severely depressed and anxious.

I have a fourteen year old daughter from a previous relationship, whom hadn't seen her father for 7 years due to lack of interest. He has now shown an interest in my daughter and she has started seeing him again the last 3 weeks. Before this my daughter and my husband have been very close and have had a great relationship, but now that she is seeing her father, he has virtually ignored her apart from a couple of massive blow ups stating that 'She's mine' and that he has been let down.

My daughter came home from her fathers' this evening and he has now told me he wants a divorce leaving my daughter and I in tears. She is now blaming herself, in which I have stated that it is now her fault and have cuddled her until she is asleep.

I have no one to talk to so thought I would unburden myself on here if you don't mind.

Thanks for listening.
 
My husband of nearly 20 months has just informed me that he wants a divorce, I am beside myself. I have shared on here before about things that have happened in my past, which have left me severely depressed and anxious.

I have a fourteen year old daughter from a previous relationship, whom hadn't seen her father for 7 years due to lack of interest. He has now shown an interest in my daughter and she has started seeing him again the last 3 weeks. Before this my daughter and my husband have been very close and have had a great relationship, but now that she is seeing her father, he has virtually ignored her apart from a couple of massive blow ups stating that 'She's mine' and that he has been let down.

My daughter came home from her fathers' this evening and he has now told me he wants a divorce leaving my daughter and I in tears. She is now blaming herself, in which I have stated that it is now her fault and have cuddled her until she is asleep.

I have no one to talk to so thought I would unburden myself on here if you don't mind.

Thanks for listening.
Is it possible that he has had an outburst like this and once everyone has had a sleep and settled down it may be different? Horrible situation anyway mate.
 
Is it possible that he has had an outburst like this and once everyone has had a sleep and settled down it may be different? Horrible situation anyway mate.

Maybe, he's snoring like a pig at the moment, I can hear him through the flooboards. I am currently in bits, worried for my Daughter, more than myself. He threw his wedding ring at me, it was my Dads' and he has never done that before.
 
My husband of nearly 20 months has just informed me that he wants a divorce, I am beside myself. I have shared on here before about things that have happened in my past, which have left me severely depressed and anxious.

I have a fourteen year old daughter from a previous relationship, whom hadn't seen her father for 7 years due to lack of interest. He has now shown an interest in my daughter and she has started seeing him again the last 3 weeks. Before this my daughter and my husband have been very close and have had a great relationship, but now that she is seeing her father, he has virtually ignored her apart from a couple of massive blow ups stating that 'She's mine' and that he has been let down.

My daughter came home from her fathers' this evening and he has now told me he wants a divorce leaving my daughter and I in tears. She is now blaming herself, in which I have stated that it is now her fault and have cuddled her until she is asleep.

I have no one to talk to so thought I would unburden myself on here if you don't mind.

Thanks for listening.
Really feel for you but also admire you - with your emotions in turmoil at an unexpected blow you still had the presence of mind to put your daughter and her feelings first, you seem a wonderful mother.

Would your husband be open to counselling? There seem to be many issues swirling round the family that could well benefit from a professional?
 
My husband of nearly 20 months has just informed me that he wants a divorce, I am beside myself. I have shared on here before about things that have happened in my past, which have left me severely depressed and anxious.

I have a fourteen year old daughter from a previous relationship, whom hadn't seen her father for 7 years due to lack of interest. He has now shown an interest in my daughter and she has started seeing him again the last 3 weeks. Before this my daughter and my husband have been very close and have had a great relationship, but now that she is seeing her father, he has virtually ignored her apart from a couple of massive blow ups stating that 'She's mine' and that he has been let down.

My daughter came home from her fathers' this evening and he has now told me he wants a divorce leaving my daughter and I in tears. She is now blaming herself, in which I have stated that it is now her fault and have cuddled her until she is asleep.

I have no one to talk to so thought I would unburden myself on here if you don't mind.

Thanks for listening.

He sounds very hurt over your daughter's father suddenly coming back into the picture and perhaps now thinks he was viewed as a substitute that isn't needed anymore, least not in that capacity. That's surely not the case but most men are very insecure when it comes ex-partners coming back into the picture.

Is it possible that he's just lashed out in a moment of madness and will tomorrow or in the coming days calm down and want to talk things through like adults? Or has he said things which make it clear there's no way things can be salvaged? I really hope for yours and your daughters sake it's not the latter. People when they're upset and angry sometimes say things they really don't mean, they say them just to hurt the person they're arguing with in order for you to feel some of the pain he's feeling. It's not right and if he's the man you and your daughter think he is he will apologise soon.

Please keep posting, we're all here for you if it gets too much and you need an ear.
 

My husband of nearly 20 months has just informed me that he wants a divorce, I am beside myself. I have shared on here before about things that have happened in my past, which have left me severely depressed and anxious.

I have a fourteen year old daughter from a previous relationship, whom hadn't seen her father for 7 years due to lack of interest. He has now shown an interest in my daughter and she has started seeing him again the last 3 weeks. Before this my daughter and my husband have been very close and have had a great relationship, but now that she is seeing her father, he has virtually ignored her apart from a couple of massive blow ups stating that 'She's mine' and that he has been let down.

My daughter came home from her fathers' this evening and he has now told me he wants a divorce leaving my daughter and I in tears. She is now blaming herself, in which I have stated that it is now her fault and have cuddled her until she is asleep.

I have no one to talk to so thought I would unburden myself on here if you don't mind.

Thanks for listening.

I really feel for you.

It sounds like the emotions evoked from your daughter seeing her real Dad has been a massive shock to the system for your husband. Hopefully, given a bit of time he'll start to get his head around things.

Really hope things turn out okay for you.
 
Really feel for you but also admire you - with your emotions in turmoil at an unexpected blow you still had the presence of mind to put your daughter and her feelings first, you seem a wonderful mother.

Would your husband be open to counselling? There seem to be many issues swirling round the family that could well benefit from a professional?

Thank you so much, my Daughter is the most important thing in the world to me and I will always put her first, no matter how low I am feeling.

My Husband is an alpha male, he would never consider counselling, I am starting to think he is a Jekyll and Hyde character, he can be the most loving person and then turn to the most distant, abnoxious person that you will ever meet. Sadly I only found out this the last few weeks and am now living on a knife edge as to what mood he is in.
 
He sounds very hurt over your daughter's father suddenly coming back into the picture and perhaps now thinks he was viewed as a substitute that isn't needed anymore, least not in that capacity. That's surely not the case but most men are very insecure when it comes ex-partners coming back into the picture.

Is it possible that he's just lashed out in a moment of madness and will tomorrow or in the coming days calm down and want to talk things through like adults? Or has he said things which make it clear there's no way things can be salvaged? I really hope for yours and your daughters sake it's not the latter. People when they're upset and angry sometimes say things they really don't mean, they say them just to hurt the person they're arguing with in order for you to feel some of the pain he's feeling. It's not right and if he's the man you and your daughter think he is he will apologise soon.

Please keep posting, we're all here for you if it gets too much and you need an ear.

I understand how he is feeling, he moved in with us when my Daughter was five, she didn't have much contact with her Dad and in the last seven years her father has been absent. He loves her as if she is his own, but he has told me I have to stop her seeing her father. I can't do that, she must make her own decisions, even if he is a waster, I will not jeopardize the relationship I have with my Daughter, especially for a man that is prepared to leave me over it.
 
Thank you so much, my Daughter is the most important thing in the world to me and I will always put her first, no matter how low I am feeling.

My Husband is an alpha male, he would never consider counselling, I am starting to think he is a Jekyll and Hyde character, he can be the most loving person and then turn to the most distant, abnoxious person that you will ever meet. Sadly I only found out this the last few weeks and am now living on a knife edge as to what mood he is in.
Even if he won't go to counseling, think it might be advisable for you to contact someone yourself as they will hopefully be able to give you some advice on how to deal with the Hyde character, you being on a knife edge about his moods can't be good for anyone most of all yourself.
 
I understand how he is feeling, he moved in with us when my Daughter was five, she didn't have much contact with her Dad and in the last seven years her father has been absent. He loves her as if she is his own, but he has told me I have to stop her seeing her father. I can't do that, she must make her own decisions, even if he is a waster, I will not jeopardize the relationship I have with my Daughter, especially for a man that is prepared to leave me over it.
Probably not much help, but why do you have to tell your daughter not to see her father if your husband looks upon himself as her de facto parent?
I agree with you wholeheartedly that it is your daughter's decision.
I hope everything gets resolved.
 

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