Install the app
How to install the app on iOS

Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.

Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.

Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

I'm thinking of coming out to all of my family and mates. So far my mum, dad, sister, nana and best mate knows.

I was out last night with my cousins and I'm fed up of pretending to be somebody I'm not, it's very stressful for me.

I'm heading towards 25 now and I just feel that if I don't be true to myself now, I could miss out on real happiness.

Every time I have a drink, I'm worried incase somebody catches me out. If I was out there, I wouldn't have that anxiety and might actually meet somebody.

I know I've rattled this same issue off on here for years, but I just wish I could be normal.
 
GwladysBlue said:
I'm thinking of coming out to all of my family and mates. So far my mum, dad, sister, nana and best mate knows.

I was out last night with my cousins and I'm fed up of pretending to be somebody I'm not, it's very stressful for me.

I'm heading towards 25 now and I just feel that if I don't be true to myself now, I could miss out on real happiness.

Every time I have a drink, I'm worried incase somebody catches me out. If I was out there, I wouldn't have that anxiety and might actually meet somebody.

I know I've rattled this same issue off on here for years, but I just wish I could be normal.
Click to expand...
You are very normal mate. I won't preach on how difficult this all obviously is, but i have a bit of wisdom being older, everything you feel is absolutely normal mate.
 
GwladysBlue said:
I'm thinking of coming out to all of my family and mates. So far my mum, dad, sister, nana and best mate knows.

I was out last night with my cousins and I'm fed up of pretending to be somebody I'm not, it's very stressful for me.

I'm heading towards 25 now and I just feel that if I don't be true to myself now, I could miss out on real happiness.

Every time I have a drink, I'm worried incase somebody catches me out. If I was out there, I wouldn't have that anxiety and might actually meet somebody.

I know I've rattled this same issue off on here for years, but I just wish I could be normal.
Click to expand...

There's no need to tell them all in one go mate, just choose a few of your closet friends and family, then let them tell the others.

You'll end up getting really worked up about it, which defeats the object. Just let it come out naturally.

Also you'll find out who your true friends are, as they will be the ones that want to talk to you about it.

Your older family members may struggle to understand though mate, as their generation just " got on with things ".

I wish you all the best mate, it's very hard to do, but you'll feel like a weight has been lifted.

I know when I started telling my mates, a couple of them told me in confidence that they suffered too and had been keeping it quiet too.
 
COYBL25 said:
There's no need to tell them all in one go mate, just choose a few of your closet friends and family, then let them tell the others.

You'll end up getting really worked up about it, which defeats the object. Just let it come out naturally.

Also you'll find out who your true friends are, as they will be the ones that want to talk to you about it.

Your older family members may struggle to understand though mate, as their generation just " got on with things ".

I wish you all the best mate, it's very hard to do, but you'll feel like a weight has been lifted.

I know when I started telling my mates, a couple of them told me in confidence that they suffered too and had been keeping it quiet too.
Click to expand...
I'm talking about coming out as gay, mate. Haha.

Being gay and depression go hand-in-hand.

All of my cousins, even my younger ones, have boyfriends/girlfriends. All of my mates have girlfriends. I'm just stuck on my own, pretending to be someone I'm not.
 

Hope you're all doing well. Had a fellow Blue using my depression in an argument earlier. I've never had anyone, on the internet or in real life, do that before this morning.

Hope it's safe in here to post without getting attacked.

I have been feeling good lately. Left the job I hated in the end and a huge weight has lifted. GP has increased my SSRI dosage and it's helping hugely. I can't stress enough how these pills CAN be lifesavers if you're struggling.

There is a stigma to taking pills. It's silly. They help.
 
Soap said:
Hope you're all doing well. Had a fellow Blue using my depression in an argument earlier. I've never had anyone, on the internet or in real life, do that before this morning.

Hope it's safe in here to post without getting attacked.

I have been feeling good lately. Left the job I hated in the end and a huge weight has lifted. GP has increased my SSRI dosage and it's helping hugely. I can't stress enough how these pills CAN be lifesavers if you're struggling.

There is a stigma to taking pills. It's silly. They help.
Click to expand...

It is, but it's not the appropriate place to bring issues with fellow posters. There are better solutions for that.

Good to know things are looking up.
 
Soap said:
Hope you're all doing well. Had a fellow Blue using my depression in an argument earlier. I've never had anyone, on the internet or in real life, do that before this morning.

Hope it's safe in here to post without getting attacked.

I have been feeling good lately. Left the job I hated in the end and a huge weight has lifted. GP has increased my SSRI dosage and it's helping hugely. I can't stress enough how these pills CAN be lifesavers if you're struggling.

There is a stigma to taking pills. It's silly. They help.
Click to expand...

I'm assuming that if you've read the 599 pages on here, you'll see that no one gets " attacked ".

Everyone is welcome on here.
 
GwladysBlue said:
I'm talking about coming out as gay, mate. Haha.

Being gay and depression go hand-in-hand.

All of my cousins, even my younger ones, have boyfriends/girlfriends. All of my mates have girlfriends. I'm just stuck on my own, pretending to be someone I'm not.
Click to expand...

Give me a message if you prefer mate, but I was in a situation reeeeally similar to you. In fact, when you say about everyone else being in relationships/ straight etc, that's pretty much the same for me too. All of my close mates are straight, as that was the environment I was brought up in.

If they're true mates, and I bet they are, then they'll accept you for who you are. It may be tough being the 'odd one out' but we're all the odd ones out for different reasons- and by keeping it in, you're still who you are, just in a much tougher place. Truly, the only gay guys I'm in touch with are ones that I was nearly in a relationship with, or who I just genuinely feel are great guys. Don't particularly socialise in the 'gay community' though and it doesn't have to be that way. You find gay/ bi people in the most normal of settings. If not, there are so many other ways to meet people- gay football teams, online (it's not as seedy as you think as long as you swerve Grindr...)

If you have people that love you, you'll be fine. If they're not, then honestly, they're really not worth it, although it's definitely easier to say that than experience it. Seriously though mate, give me a message. And if you're in Liverpool for the game Thursday- give me a shout as I'll be up for my 30th. Scary that.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do x
 

EvertonRhys said:
Give me a message if you prefer mate, but I was in a situation reeeeally similar to you. In fact, when you say about everyone else being in relationships/ straight etc, that's pretty much the same for me too. All of my close mates are straight, as that was the environment I was brought up in.

If they're true mates, and I bet they are, then they'll accept you for who you are. It may be tough being the 'odd one out' but we're all the odd ones out for different reasons- and by keeping it in, you're still who you are, just in a much tougher place. Truly, the only gay guys I'm in touch with are ones that I was nearly in a relationship with, or who I just genuinely feel are great guys. Don't particularly socialise in the 'gay community' though and it doesn't have to be that way. You find gay/ bi people in the most normal of settings. If not, there are so many other ways to meet people- gay football teams, online (it's not as seedy as you think as long as you swerve Grindr...)

If you have people that love you, you'll be fine. If they're not, then honestly, they're really not worth it, although it's definitely easier to say that than experience it. Seriously though mate, give me a message. And if you're in Liverpool for the game Thursday- give me a shout as I'll be up for my 30th. Scary that.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do x
Click to expand...
It just feels that no matter how good things can be going, it always drags me back down to earth.

I'm terrified that on the weekend when I was really drunk, I may have let my guard down and I've gave off that impression. Vaguely remember someone questioning it. I'm just hoping they'd have been equally as drunk to not remember.

I've heard some of my cousins, the ones who I'll go for a drink with after the match, then into town, etc. say some really horrible things about gays. I don't want to be outcast from them.

It's the same in work, the longer I don't have a girlfriend, which isn't going to happen, the more and more I start to look suspect. When some of the fellas have said it jokingly in work, I've turned bright red.

I'm on a really important course in work this week and I just know I'm going to fail it because I'm so distracted. I've been having a series on full on severe anxiety attacks since Sunday.

Just don't know what to do anymore. Happiness is only ever short-lived for me, until the next drama comes along.

Just want out of it.
 
GB - there are LGBT support groups out there, online and offline. I suspect there are very many people in similar predicaments and have the same concerns and anxieties. I think, perhaps, you may be over worrying about the response you may get from your cousin's/mates but only time will tell. However, todays news is tomorrow's chip wrapping and if they think anything of you then they will simply shrug their shoulders and get on with it. Your not a threat to them and the majority of gay people l know - including my own daughter and her male cousin - are in a much happier place because they were true to themselves and came out rather than suffer in silence. They are accepted for what they are and are both in loving relationships. You deserve to share that happiness. And your still a Blue and we are a family.
 
COYBL25 said:
Is it someone you fancy ?.

If so, it's completely normal to have these feelings mate x
Click to expand...

Yes, this has been ongoing for months. I read so much into everything. One moment I'm convinced all the signs are there, the next my confidence evaporates and I tell myself it was all in my head and if I ask now I'll get turned town and be left embarrassed. My head is cabbaged
 

Welcome to GrandOldTeam

Get involved. Registration is simple and free.

Register
Back
Top