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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

I am a very irregular contributor on here but thought I should share a little. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with ball cancer. After the treatment, I today got the all clear. Best day of my life and in a joyous turn of events I have been drinking to celebrate with my missus on a random thursday afternoonn. The last couple of months have been horrendous. This forum (not just this thread) helped me get through a very difficult time. Sometimes there is nothing better to keep your mind on track than worrying that perhaps a man from burnley you think is the next bobby moore (see what i did there) may have a while to go before he is the finished article (though I think he will be). Either way things have been pretty dark for me lately but thankfully I have come through and life is now brighter than it could ever have been before this. I just wanted to say I have no wisdom I can share but I do have experience of getting through a tough time so if anyone feels they need a chat or someone to rant at about how life can deal you a difficult hand then please do not hesitate to contact me. If nothing else I will be happy to explain how Keane will turn out to be a top centre back in time. And I dont want to be condesending or patronising but I would just say, its crap walking away from beautiful Goodison after watching a toffees defeat but my god, being there to bitch about it to your dad/kid/missus/mate is a joy in itself and is a moment/memory to enjoy, even if its in hindsight because it sure as hell beats the alternative of not being there.

Well in mate.

Took balls posting that.

There's always someone on here that will get back to you x
 

After the fifth goal went in, I sliced my arm open so badly that I've had to ring 999.

I'm beginning to think football isn't for me.

I'm a mess.

How are you doing today mate?

There's loads of support in this thread and blues on here that are concerned about you. Please talk to someone next time you feel like doing something like this again. Come to this thread and vent if it helps.

If you must watch the game is there someone you can watch it with?
 
I didn't watch the match, I followed the Twitter feed.

I can't support Everton anymore. I know it's a crime to change your team but when your team make you want to slice up your body, it's not worth it. Nearly all the recent scars are because of them. The entire team can all go to hell for all I care. I hate them. I hate them all. If this is what passion feels like, I don't want it. I spent 2 hours in A&E last night feeling like a total arse.

And yes, it is easier said than done. I've had to unfollow all Everton Twitters because I just don't want to know anymore.
 
I am a very irregular contributor on here but thought I should share a little. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with ball cancer. After the treatment, I today got the all clear. Best day of my life and in a joyous turn of events I have been drinking to celebrate with my missus on a random thursday afternoonn. The last couple of months have been horrendous. This forum (not just this thread) helped me get through a very difficult time. Sometimes there is nothing better to keep your mind on track than worrying that perhaps a man from burnley you think is the next bobby moore (see what i did there) may have a while to go before he is the finished article (though I think he will be). Either way things have been pretty dark for me lately but thankfully I have come through and life is now brighter than it could ever have been before this. I just wanted to say I have no wisdom I can share but I do have experience of getting through a tough time so if anyone feels they need a chat or someone to rant at about how life can deal you a difficult hand then please do not hesitate to contact me. If nothing else I will be happy to explain how Keane will turn out to be a top centre back in time. And I dont want to be condesending or patronising but I would just say, its crap walking away from beautiful Goodison after watching a toffees defeat but my god, being there to bitch about it to your dad/kid/missus/mate is a joy in itself and is a moment/memory to enjoy, even if its in hindsight because it sure as hell beats the alternative of not being there.
My brother had Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2015-16 and he's now got a season ticket to Goodison Park. I'm just made up he can go the match again. He was stuck at home and he's a lot more sociable than me, and it was driving him mad.

I'm glad you're feeling better. :)
 
I didn't self-harm today. I'm quite proud of that. I am thinking of going to my parents' on Derby Day though. I don't want to be alone. I'm scared.

Also, reading the comments in the Unsworth thread, I wonder how many of our fans think that Gary Speed's death didn't matter because hey, he had money, right?
 
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I didn't watch the match, I followed the Twitter feed.

I can't support Everton anymore. I know it's a crime to change your team but when your team make you want to slice up your body, it's not worth it. Nearly all the recent scars are because of them. The entire team can all go to hell for all I care. I hate them. I hate them all. If this is what passion feels like, I don't want it. I spent 2 hours in A&E last night feeling like a total arse.

And yes, it is easier said than done. I've had to unfollow all Everton Twitters because I just don't want to know anymore.
With all due respect & the caveat that I haven't followed your recent posts, I don't think the team is causing this. I can understand how it contributes but I don't think they cause it.

Now, I fully accept that I'm not in your shoes & don't fully understand your pain...that is clear & accepted...but it looks to me like the teams woes are exaggerating yours. As Groucho said, avoid looking at the results & twitter feeds, even other threads on here if you must. The team situation seems to be pushing you in a direction none of us want you to go. If that is the case, you need to remove that influence from your life.

As for switching sides, I don't think that will help. Every team has its ups & downs but we live through the downs looking forward to the ups. They are so much sweeter when we've emerged from the bad times. Life can be like that I suppose. If you beat this and come out the other side a stronger person, you'll fully appreciate what an achievement it is!
 

The nurses and doctors said the same thing. The only problem is, I don't know what's behind this, though I have an idea. I never felt like this in high school when Everton were just as bad, and I was bullied for supporting Everton.
 
The nurses and doctors said the same thing. The only problem is, I don't know what's behind this, though I have an idea. I never felt like this in high school when Everton were just as bad, and I was bullied for supporting Everton.
Sorry to hear that. Well it's clearly a strong part of the problem for you & as a part of the bullying, I imagine that only Everton success would help ease the pain from those school years. (Just an unqualified opinion here)

Keep at it mate. If you're not seeing someone, give it a go. It can work. I say that from experience. If you are seeing someone & it isn't working, try someone else. It's really important to connect with the person trying to help you & it may take time to find them but persevere, we need you here when we finally lift a trophy!

;)
 
The nurses and doctors said the same thing. The only problem is, I don't know what's behind this, though I have an idea. I never felt like this in high school when Everton were just as bad, and I was bullied for supporting Everton.

Have you seen a therapist at all? Get to the root of things. I've seen one for that very reason and it does help.
 
I didn't self-harm today. I'm quite proud of that. I am thinking of going to my parents' on Derby Day though. I don't want to be alone. I'm scared.

Also, reading the comments in the Unsworth thread, I wonder how many of our fans think that Gary Speed's death didn't matter because hey, he had money, right?


Well done mate, I used to self harm, badly, to the point my arm is scarred permanently from the knife wounds. I was told, when I'm feeling-low and wanting to do that, to put an elastic band on my arm and use it to pinch myself instead of doing anything major. Pain, is annoying enough to not want to do it frequently, but obviously completely harmless - might be worth a try for you?

Anything you need - Let me know.

I had a bad weekend, I knew I wasn't in a good place as Sunderland won, I should have been on top of the world but I couldn't help but feel low. So, I relapsed a bit and went on a drunken binge, went out on my own with £200 (I withdrew from bank to buy presents) and lost it all on a betting machine. I wasn't even bothered, I just wanted an escape from my head. Ended up drinking far too much and went missing for hours, then checked my phone and had loads of missed calls and voicemails from family & friends. Just walked for hours around Sunderland, no real purpose, just walking - drinking my whisky, so I probably looked a right idiot.

Just wanted to be alone, but I can't, as I feel guilty for not answering calls and worrying people (Who know I have a self-destruct mode and worry for my safety when I'm feeling like this).

Woke up Sunday, feeling awful, had to go to work, now, I'm feeling 'okay'. I suppose I'll just have to accept days like that and focus on having less & less.

It's a terrible illness, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The worst part, is trying to explain to family/friends when I'm so unhappy - "What's wrong with you?" And I can't answer it, I don't know.

Anyway, new week, hope everyone is well. Going to try giving up the drink for a couple of weeks, as that does trigger me from feeling low to even worse.
 

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