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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

goodisonopheliac said:
I understand. My mum's an alcoholic and a depressive, a really bad combo. I've had to look after her when she's been on a binge and it's horrible, she's a really weepy drunk. She always rambles on about my dad (who's dead).

Do you go AA meetings or anything?
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My dad was an alcoholic for many years so I have an idea of part of what you're going through. It really is dreadful to deal with. The number of times he would tell us he was done with drink only to be wasted 48 hours later, it would break my heart every time.

It all came to a head around 6 years ago and he's been sober ever since. If you need to chat about this issue mate let me know because I have some experience here.
 
Safc-mark-91 said:
Well done mate, I used to self harm, badly, to the point my arm is scarred permanently from the knife wounds. I was told, when I'm feeling-low and wanting to do that, to put an elastic band on my arm and use it to pinch myself instead of doing anything major. Pain, is annoying enough to not want to do it frequently, but obviously completely harmless - might be worth a try for you?

Anything you need - Let me know.

I had a bad weekend, I knew I wasn't in a good place as Sunderland won, I should have been on top of the world but I couldn't help but feel low. So, I relapsed a bit and went on a drunken binge, went out on my own with £200 (I withdrew from bank to buy presents) and lost it all on a betting machine. I wasn't even bothered, I just wanted an escape from my head. Ended up drinking far too much and went missing for hours, then checked my phone and had loads of missed calls and voicemails from family & friends. Just walked for hours around Sunderland, no real purpose, just walking - drinking my whisky, so I probably looked a right idiot.

Just wanted to be alone, but I can't, as I feel guilty for not answering calls and worrying people (Who know I have a self-destruct mode and worry for my safety when I'm feeling like this).

Woke up Sunday, feeling awful, had to go to work, now, I'm feeling 'okay'. I suppose I'll just have to accept days like that and focus on having less & less.

It's a terrible illness, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The worst part, is trying to explain to family/friends when I'm so unhappy - "What's wrong with you?" And I can't answer it, I don't know.

Anyway, new week, hope everyone is well. Going to try giving up the drink for a couple of weeks, as that does trigger me from feeling low to even worse.
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How are you today mate? Any better?

Have you been to your GP for any treatment?
 
goodisonopheliac said:
I didn't watch the match, I followed the Twitter feed.

I can't support Everton anymore. I know it's a crime to change your team but when your team make you want to slice up your body, it's not worth it. Nearly all the recent scars are because of them. The entire team can all go to hell for all I care. I hate them. I hate them all. If this is what passion feels like, I don't want it. I spent 2 hours in A&E last night feeling like a total arse.

And yes, it is easier said than done. I've had to unfollow all Everton Twitters because I just don't want to know anymore.
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Mate I don't really venture into this thread as much as I should do, certainly don't want to contribute if I don't know what I am talking about hence the reason i stay away.

Reading your last few posts you have made, and probably echoing any other replies you have had, I don't believe football is the reason for it all. I understand the emotion you are going through watching the games , believe me I ended up watching the past 2 games and feeling so down afterwards even after I convinced myself I couldn't be arsed with it. So taking that feeling I have after each game and putting it into your world I think it is triggering deep emotions you have in the back of your mind.

Away from football (apologies if you have answered this already) , what is wrong? What's in your life that causes you to be distressed, upset, angry? Has anything happened or is happening that makes you feel frustrated? I understand if you don't want to answer that and fair enough. I just get the impression on face value at least that the self harm and the negative emotions are not based around something frivolous as a football result but you are using that as a mask of some sort for deeper issues. Which is fine, that is how you are expressing it but to understand the cause of the issue and what could be the root of it All, I can offer some advice if you can possibly give me a bit more information on yourself if that is ok?
 
I'm pretty tired right now but what I will say is that the doctors said the same thing and there's something else behind it. It's quite a long answer. tl;dr Part of it is to do with my mum and part of it is another person. I don't know if anyone's familiar with Space, as in the band, but it's one of them.
 

efcforever said:
How are you today mate? Any better?

Have you been to your GP for any treatment?
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I'm feeling okay mate thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm on anti-depressants and a mild sedative to help me sleep (Mirtazpine). My worry, is things will be going okay, then I get the cloud come on, and I deal with it the wrong way by trying to ease my depression with drink & pretty much everything else bad for you.

It's odd, I'm okay for a few days, then one day, I'll feel like my world is ending and I feel so desperately ill. It's unpredictable, which in turn makes me unpredictable, hence going missing and losing money gambling/drinking.

Sick of it, just want to feel 'normal' but I guess I'll have to manage it.

How are you doing?
 
Safc-mark-91 said:
I'm feeling okay mate thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm on anti-depressants and a mild sedative to help me sleep (Mirtazpine). My worry, is things will be going okay, then I get the cloud come on, and I deal with it the wrong way by trying to ease my depression with drink & pretty much everything else bad for you.

It's odd, I'm okay for a few days, then one day, I'll feel like my world is ending and I feel so desperately ill. It's unpredictable, which in turn makes me unpredictable, hence going missing and losing money gambling/drinking.

Sick of it, just want to feel 'normal' but I guess I'll have to manage it.

How are you doing?
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Apologies if you've mentioned it already mate but have you tried CBT before? My experience has made me a big advocate of it and if you haven't given it a go it might be worth speaking to your GP about. I appreciate it's not for everyone but it might help you to follow a different thought process when that cloud starts to descend and allow you deal with it in a different way.

I know I make that sound easy and i completely appreciate it's anything but that having been in a similar boat, but if you're willing to give it a go for a few sessions and see how it goes then it might help a little. I was hugely apprehensive about it and sceptical about whether I'd get anything from it but it helped me quite a bit.
 
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Safc-mark-91 said:
I'm feeling okay mate thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm on anti-depressants and a mild sedative to help me sleep (Mirtazpine). My worry, is things will be going okay, then I get the cloud come on, and I deal with it the wrong way by trying to ease my depression with drink & pretty much everything else bad for you.

It's odd, I'm okay for a few days, then one day, I'll feel like my world is ending and I feel so desperately ill. It's unpredictable, which in turn makes me unpredictable, hence going missing and losing money gambling/drinking.

Sick of it, just want to feel 'normal' but I guess I'll have to manage it.

How are you doing?
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Hi mate, I`m not medically qualified, but Mirtazapine can have some pretty severe side effects with some people.

It`s not mild either/

A lot of what you`re describing would tally with it`s side effects.

It`s also habit forming too, if taken for anything other than short periods of time.

Maybe worth discussing this with GP ?
 

COYBL25 said:
Hi mate, I`m not medically qualified, but Mirtazapine can have some pretty severe side effects with some people.

It`s not mild either/

A lot of what you`re describing would tally with it`s side effects.

It`s also habit forming too, if taken for anything other than short periods of time.

Maybe worth discussing this with GP ?
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Mirtazapine are horrible. I was put on them 2 years ago and came off them within a month. Terrible for weight gain and made me dopey at best all day . I was never fully awake while On them . Avoid if possible.
 
Safc-mark-91 said:
I'm feeling okay mate thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm on anti-depressants and a mild sedative to help me sleep (Mirtazpine). My worry, is things will be going okay, then I get the cloud come on, and I deal with it the wrong way by trying to ease my depression with drink & pretty much everything else bad for you.

It's odd, I'm okay for a few days, then one day, I'll feel like my world is ending and I feel so desperately ill. It's unpredictable, which in turn makes me unpredictable, hence going missing and losing money gambling/drinking.

Sick of it, just want to feel 'normal' but I guess I'll have to manage it.

How are you doing?
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I'm doing alright lately thanks. I had several counselling sessions recently which have helped. I'm still on the meds and I expect to be on them for the foreseeable future.

Have you ever tried counselling?
 

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