I just can't shake the constant ruminations, sometimes I recall stuff from decades ago, and it still pisses me off. So I rant abar it then 5 minutes later I'm done, and what's happened except I've wasted another 5 minutes of my life getting pisses off over some time that no longer matters.
(Imagine how great life would be living in perpetual hindsight )
And I know that next time something pops in my head I'll find a way to mentally map it to a painfull memory just so I can ruminate again.
I'm an addict, and it's like I'm addicted to the worst assassin's creed game ever.