Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[larrygobfiend]

Update for anyone interested.

I get in to the office about half 10 today and because of the weather my coat is drenched. My colleagues say stuff like "awww poor you" but this girl says "that's probably the best you've ever been."

I didn't hide my anger very well. I didn't answer her but did give her a nasty look. She says back "who are you snarling at you f***ing little rat!"

We've said nothing since and i'm on my break now. Told my team leader over text I've had enough and want to take the matter further, we hadn't even had our supposed meeting yet and my colleagues we're clearly cringing . She was called in by the team leader before and I assume told unequivocally (I hope). The atmosphere isn't very nice still though and it probably won't be for the next few days.

Wow, she sounds charming. Don't feel guilty if she eventually gets the sack - she could probably benefit from learning a few life lessons.

 

[Jacob]

Update for anyone interested.

I get in to the office about half 10 today and because of the weather my coat is drenched. My colleagues say stuff like "awww poor you" but this girl says "that's probably the best you've ever been."

I didn't hide my anger very well. I didn't answer her but did give her a nasty look. She says back "who are you snarling at you f***ing little rat!"

We've said nothing since and i'm on my break now. Told my team leader over text I've had enough and want to take the matter further, we hadn't even had our supposed meeting yet and my colleagues we're clearly cringing . She was called in by the team leader before and I assume told unequivocally (I hope). The atmosphere isn't very nice still though and it probably won't be for the next few days.

Frankly she sounds like a gobby moron and I cant understand why her loudmouth offensive remarks are tolerated by the hierarchy there. They seem lukewarm regarding any punitive action against her before today's events. You cant change what she says....but you can change how you react to her.

 

[EFCPaul]

Thanks everyone. I feel okay, I've kept to myself since the mini incident earlier and i'm having dinner now sat on my phone. She's in the wrong not me, everyone I've told about this including you lot have reassured me this.

She isn't very nice person at heart I gather, we have a clash of personalities but that's normal and people can still be somewhat friendly or at least professional. She's neither and I don't have any time for people like that personally.

I wouldn't even call what she's been doing bullying because that's a strong word and no doubt people all over have had to put up with much worse. She's clearly just ignorant/arrogant and has no clue how to treat people she doesn't consider as on her level, or something like that. Anyone can put their foot in their mouths when trying to talk to someone but when they're called out over it they can show what type of person they are at heart by either apologising or just digging in. She's done the latter, in an embarrassing manner as well.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks everyone. I feel okay, I've kept to myself since the mini incident earlier and i'm having dinner now sat on my phone. She's in the wrong not me, everyone I've told about this including you lot have reassured me this.

She isn't very nice person at heart I gather, we have a clash of personalities but that's normal and people can still be somewhat friendly or at least professional. She's neither and I don't have any time for people like that personally.

I wouldn't even call what she's been doing bullying because that's a strong word and no doubt people all over have had to put up with much worse. She's clearly just ignorant/arrogant and has no clue how to treat people she doesn't consider as on her level, or something like that. Anyone can put their foot in their mouths when trying to talk to someone but when they're called out over it they can show what type of person they are at heart by either apologising or just digging in. She's done the latter, in an embarrassing manner as well.

I don't think I'd have been as dignified as you tbh !

 

[MrD]

A clash of personality it may be, she has a terrible, scumbag personality and you don't.

People like her are often desperate to either fit in or come across as a laugh by being funny and they often fail on both fronts. Not everyone can be clever/funny so they resort to near the knuckle bitchery.

The best thing you could have done is not to get into a slinging match with her because you lower yourself to her level and people like that love it when they reel people in.

Take the high road Paul. You're there to work and she is there to be a classless bitch. Hope it all settled down to you.

 

[EFCPaul]

Cheers for the supportive comments today everyone, it's been a big help in making me feel better. I went in work today not sure what was going to happen, hence why I posted this morning whilst on the bus to try and get in a calmer frame of mind.

Low and behold, I can't even take my coat off before it started. It was over in a few seconds but it hung over the office like a stench, I barely opened my mouth the rest of the day and she was far quieter than normal as well (didn't say boo to me surprise surprise). When she went home (she finishes before me) two of our colleagues decided to speak to me about it and, disappointingly, tried to defend her.

"She was only joking though, you shouldn't have given her a look like that it horrible. Everyone assumed you've been in a mood and took it out on her."

I fought my corner like, made it clear that none of my family or the team leader think it's remotely funny at all and if roles were reversed I'd be sacked and probably have her fella after me. They didn't really argue with that, they just said "well I see we're you're coming from" but overall I got the impression they feel for her more than me. Maybe i'm wrong because I do feel sorry for them, they feel caught in the middle and don't want a bad atmosphere any more than I do but I stood my ground. Told them I will not speak to her at all going forward except if work requires it and other than that I don't like her or her attitude.

 

[COYBL25]

Cheers for the supportive comments today everyone, it's been a big help in making me feel better. I went in work today not sure what was going to happen, hence why I posted this morning whilst on the bus to try and get in a calmer frame of mind.

Low and behold, I can't even take my coat off before it started. It was over in a few seconds but it hung over the office like a stench, I barely opened my mouth the rest of the day and she was far quieter than not so as well (didn't say boo to me surprise surprise). When she went home (she finishes before me) two of our colleagues decided to speak to me about it and, disappointingly, tried to defend her.

"She was only joking though, you shouldn't have given her a look like that it horrible. Everyone assumed you've been in a mood and took it out on her."

I fought my corner like, made it clear that none of my family or the team leader think it's remotely funny at all and if roles were reversed I'd be sacked and probably have her fella after me. They didn't really argue with that, they just said "well I see we're you're coming from" but overall I got the impression they feel for her more than me. Maybe i'm wrong because I do feel sorry for them, they feel caught in the middle and don't want a bad atmosphere any more than I do but I stood my ground. Told them I will not speak to her at all going forward except if work requires it and other than that I don't like her or her attitude.

It was always going to be like that with her and her mates.

Don`t be surprised if others come up to you on the sly and pat you on the back.

I`m pretty sure you wont be the only one who finds her behaviour disgusting and unacceptable.

 

[efcforever]

Cheers for the supportive comments today everyone, it's been a big help in making me feel better. I went in work today not sure what was going to happen, hence why I posted this morning whilst on the bus to try and get in a calmer frame of mind.

Low and behold, I can't even take my coat off before it started. It was over in a few seconds but it hung over the office like a stench, I barely opened my mouth the rest of the day and she was far quieter than normal as well (didn't say boo to me surprise surprise). When she went home (she finishes before me) two of our colleagues decided to speak to me about it and, disappointingly, tried to defend her.

"She was only joking though, you shouldn't have given her a look like that it horrible. Everyone assumed you've been in a mood and took it out on her."

I fought my corner like, made it clear that none of my family or the team leader think it's remotely funny at all and if roles were reversed I'd be sacked and probably have her fella after me. They didn't really argue with that, they just said "well I see we're you're coming from" but overall I got the impression they feel for her more than me. Maybe i'm wrong because I do feel sorry for them, they feel caught in the middle and don't want a bad atmosphere any more than I do but I stood my ground. Told them I will not speak to her at all going forward except if work requires it and other than that I don't like her or her attitude.

Easy for other people to be all philosophical about it when its not them who have had hurtful comments aimed at them. You already know this, but you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Hopefully this is the end of it all now.

 

[EFCPaul]

Easy for other people to be all philosophical about it when its not them who have had hurtful comments aimed at them. You already know this, but you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Hopefully this is the end of it all now.

Hopefully so. I won't nowt to do with her, not after today. Unless it's absolutely necessary then she's not worth my breath, that's how I deal with people I dislike.

"Who are you snarling at you ****ing rat!" after getting yet another of her sexual harassment comments and pulling a nasty face over it (which wasn't nice on my part admittedly, but a lot more restrained than many others probably would be at this point.). She soon shut up when she was called into the office and basically told how out of order she's been and it will absolutely stop now unless she wants big trouble with the bosses. She didn't say boo to me the rest of the day and that's exactly how I want it.

Many any others in the company secretly don't like her or her attitude, that's the whisper I've been told, they just kept out of her way. She seemingly wouldn't let me keep out of her way, that's the whole reason for this issue. Repeatedly, every day it was something else disgusting and passive-aggressive for no reason, today before I can even take my coat off and sit down. Ignorant beyond belief and clearly arrogant for how she thinks she's done nothing wrong.

 

[efcforever]

Hopefully so. I won't nowt to do with her, not after today. Unless it's absolutely necessary then she's not worth my breath, that's how I deal with people I dislike.

"Who are you snarling at you ****ing rat!" after getting yet another of her sexual harassment comments and pulling a nasty face over it (which wasn't nice on my part admittedly, but a lot more restrained than many others probably would be at this point.). She soon shut up when she was called into the office and basically told how out of order she's been and it will absolutely stop now unless she wants big trouble with the bosses. She didn't say boo to me the rest of the day and that's exactly how I want it.

Many any others in the company secretly don't like her is the whisper I've heard, they just kept out of her. She wouldn't me keep out of her way, that's the whole reason for this issue. Repeatedly, every day if it was something else disgusting and passive-aggressive, today before I can even take my coat off and sit down. Ignorant beyond belief.

I wouldn't be surprised if others have made similar complaints about her in the past. Management are probably sick of her behaviour.

 

[COYBL25]

Hopefully so. I won't nowt to do with her, not after today. Unless it's absolutely necessary then she's not worth my breath, that's how I deal with people I dislike.

"Who are you snarling at you ****ing rat!" after getting yet another of her sexual harassment comments and pulling a nasty face over it (which wasn't nice on my part admittedly, but a lot more restrained than many others probably would be at this point.). She soon shut up when she was called into the office and basically told how out of order she's been and it will absolutely stop now unless she wants big trouble with the bosses. She didn't say boo to me the rest of the day and that's exactly how I want it.

Many any others in the company secretly don't like her or her attitude, that's the whisper I've been told, they just kept out of her way. She seemingly wouldn't let me keep out of her way, that's the whole reason for this issue. Repeatedly, every day it was something else disgusting and passive-aggressive for no reason, today before I can even take my coat off and sit down. Ignorant beyond belief and clearly arrogant for how she thinks she's done nothing wrong.

How did you get on in the office today mate ?

 

[COYBL25]

@The Dunc how`s the insomnia ?

You had a load of time off over Christmas, hope that helped ?

 

[Big Swede]

Thanks everyone. I feel okay, I've kept to myself since the mini incident earlier and i'm having dinner now sat on my phone. She's in the wrong not me, everyone I've told about this including you lot have reassured me this.

She isn't very nice person at heart I gather, we have a clash of personalities but that's normal and people can still be somewhat friendly or at least professional. She's neither and I don't have any time for people like that personally.

I wouldn't even call what she's been doing bullying because that's a strong word and no doubt people all over have had to put up with much worse. She's clearly just ignorant/arrogant and has no clue how to treat people she doesn't consider as on her level, or something like that. Anyone can put their foot in their mouths when trying to talk to someone but when they're called out over it they can show what type of person they are at heart by either apologising or just digging in. She's done the latter, in an embarrassing manner as well.

Great that you are feeling OK, because you should not have anything to do with it as it is. Her behavious as it sounds is her and the boss´problem right now and you should move on knowing you have done the right things all along. Taek care!

 

[EFCPaul]

How did you get on in the office today mate ?

Was okay really, we didn't say a word to each other but the atmosphere was less awkward. Everyone knows now we don't get on and didn't try to make us interact directly with one another.

She made one comment about/towards me, her and another colleague were having battering and she said "careful or I'll report you. Like Paul did about me." I just utterly blanked her, she wants a reaction and isn't getting one short of something outrageous. She's clearly a lowlife IMO.

 

[goodisonopheliac]

I'm going the match this weekend and hopefully, I'll be able to sit through it without panicking and running out.

That 'Accepting where we are' thread is bothering me, a lot. I got told by both my brother, who I'm going with, and a psychiatrist that believing I could affect Everton's results was a delusion and the shrink said it was part of my BPD symptoms, or a schizotypal one, believing I had some kind of power over the team. And now I'm getting told it's my fault Everton are crap because I accept mediocrity, and that somehow filters down to the team? Am I able to control the team's results after all?