Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Tipp blue]

Same mate, got rid of the lot, Also stopped watching Soaps years ago too...East Enders was like injecting depression directly into the cortex.
Been clean of Twitter, FB, for at least 5 years and although I miss hearing / seeing about my friends dinners or babies first christmas's...
It is just so freeing.
Watched this fella a while ago, talks the truth tbf....although its really about a different generation than me, he still makes alot of sense on a human level.

Thanks for the video never seen it before, as a father of 2 boys under 3 I do worry about the future for them, when I was 7-8-9 years old in the late 80's early 90's obviously there was no Internet or smartphones we only had 2 TV channels and there was nothing in to interest children after maybe 6pm, I used to go to bed and read books I even took to reading an encyclopedia once took me over a year, the worry I have is will I be a bad parent if I don't let them watch the Internet shows their friends are watching or play the same online games, will they be bullied for not doing these things? I'd mutch rather them read for bedtime entertainment rather than look at a screen or like me and my dad used to do on clear winter nights dress up warm and go out and just look at the stars and he'd tell me "that's the North star, that's taurus that's virgo that there is Mars" I'd love to do that with my lads but if their teacher asks in school what they did and other students are all answering like I watched this or I played that and my lads saying that they looked at the stars, how will that make them feel? I have a lot of thinking and figuring out to do over the next few years.

 

[thebluenosebolt]

Thanks for the video never seen it before, as a father of 2 boys under 3 I do worry about the future for them, when I was 7-8-9 years old in the late 80's early 90's obviously there was no Internet or smartphones we only had 2 TV channels and there was nothing in to interest children after maybe 6pm, I used to go to bed and read books I even took to reading an encyclopedia once took me over a year, the worry I have is will I be a bad parent if I don't let them watch the Internet shows their friends are watching or play the same online games, will they be bullied for not doing these things? I'd mutch rather them read for bedtime entertainment rather than look at a screen or like me and my dad used to do on clear winter nights dress up warm and go out and just look at the stars and he'd tell me "that's the North star, that's taurus that's virgo that there is Mars" I'd love to do that with my lads but if their teacher asks in school what they did and other students are all answering like I watched this or I played that and my lads saying that they looked at the stars, how will that make them feel? I have a lot of thinking and figuring out to do over the next few years.

It's going to be tough mate, bringing kids up today, I imagine technology being the biggest ....hardest one to balance well. There will be positives to take from it though, You will always know where they are (gps) , Facebook et al...and instead of broken bones, bruises and fractured skulls from messing about outside, it will be RSI strain and numb bums. I dont envy you though mate, I found it really hard to make my kids wait till they got their first mobile, 13 years was our aim...oh and I made sure the main Pc was in the living room, so if they went online....i could monitor the time and access. We just made sure they also actually went to clubs and social events so they had a balance.
Good luck mate !!

 

[Tipp blue]

It's going to be tough mate, bringing kids up today, I imagine technology being the biggest ....hardest one to balance well. There will be positives to take from it though, You will always know where they are (gps) , Facebook et al...and instead of broken bones, bruises and fractured skulls from messing about outside, it will be RSI strain and numb bums. I dont envy you though mate, I found it really hard to make my kids wait till they got their first mobile, 13 years was our aim...oh and I made sure the main Pc was in the living room, so if they went online....i could monitor the time and access. We just made sure they also actually went to clubs and social events so they had a balance.
Good luck mate !!

Is it weird that right now I think I'd rather them get a fractured arm while playing about outside than have their faces stuck in a screen all day? I work in a secondary school and there are children going around like zombies, I've had second year students 14-15 year olds who can't read an anolouge clock/watch. I agree that I will have to find a balance as I don't want to see them excluded, but I've witnessed the effects of technology being used basically as a babysitter and it's frightening, children up half the night playing fortnite, then are going around like zombies in school and not having basic life skills like reading a clock.

 

[COYBL25]

Is it weird that right now I think I'd rather them get a fractured arm while playing about outside than have their faces stuck in a screen all day? I work in a secondary school and there are children going around like zombies, I've had second year students 14-15 year olds who can't read an anolouge clock/watch. I agree that I will have to find a balance as I don't want to see them excluded, but I've witnessed the effects of technology being used basically as a babysitter and it's frightening, children up half the night playing fortnite, then are going around like zombies in school and not having basic life skills like reading a clock.

Funny you should mention Fortnite.

My mates lad (12 ), attacked his mum when she took it off him as a punishment.

He`s a really nice kid and he`s never ever shown any aggression towards anyone let alone his mum.

He now has no X Box for eternity and although they went through hell with him for 2 weeks afterwards, he`s back to being his old self.

Some of these games are quite an insidious if not policed properly.

 

[David09]

I'm known as Dave n on here but for some reason my account locked me out so I'm trying again.
My Seperation is now in full swing. Moved into a bedsit last Sunday. I think my daughter of 13 is ok but I'm struggling with everything.
One thing I have done this week though was book myself in for an initial mental health assessment to see if anyone can once and for all sort my head out with mood swings and angry outbursts which I later regret.
Hopefully this is a step in the right direction but I don't have much confidence or faith in mental healthcare if I'm honest because when I was in the hm forces and asked for help they basically refused any help. Even the basics were to much. That was a few years a go though so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that hopefully I can find someone to work with.

 

[COYBL25]

I'm known as Dave n on here but for some reason my account locked me out so I'm trying again.
My Seperation is now in full swing. Moved into a bedsit last Sunday. I think my daughter of 13 is ok but I'm struggling with everything.
One thing I have done this week though was book myself in for an initial mental health assessment to see if anyone can once and for all sort my head out with mood swings and angry outbursts which I later regret.
Hopefully this is a step in the right direction but I don't have much confidence or faith in mental healthcare if I'm honest because when I was in the hm forces and asked for help they basically refused any help. Even the basics were to much. That was a few years a go though so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that hopefully I can find someone to work with.

Things have moved on massively since the days of " pull yourself together and man up ", so you have nothing to fear from any form of counselling mate.

Just thinking out loud, but the armed forces now days have a lot of help for ex forces lads like yourself who are struggling.

I know you`ve had your fingers burned before with them mate, but it may be worth having a look at what they may be able to provide you ?

It would probably quicker with them too.

 

[Goonymook]

Hey my name is Curtis ive jotted here previously, then faded out. Its odd how how patterns are embedded in our psyche as o find myself in similar plights as when i discussed matters before. I was maintaining yet enduring mental hardships while working as a counselor in residential treatment for troubled youth when i encountered seizures again. These seizures were identified as symptoms emanating from conversion disorder so psychologicaly conjured. This development resulted with being put on paid work hiatus for over two months. These two months have been hellish generatating a comphrehensive state of desolation and despair. Before the seizures occurred i was in the infancy of dating a girl which all that remains is rubble as i became incredibly needy which pushed her away and also had an episode in front of her which weirded her out. So in just dealing with the upheaval eroding social ties have added further strain. Ive currently tamed for the lack of better word through cognitive behavior therapy but the despair remains also taking meds and seeing a therapist who wasnt effective so seeking another one. Basically let my emotions and insecurities overwhelm me and im just overtaken by loneliness. Sorry to blather

 

[thebluenosebolt]

Is it weird that right now I think I'd rather them get a fractured arm while playing about outside than have their faces stuck in a screen all day? I work in a secondary school and there are children going around like zombies, I've had second year students 14-15 year olds who can't read an anolouge clock/watch. I agree that I will have to find a balance as I don't want to see them excluded, but I've witnessed the effects of technology being used basically as a babysitter and it's frightening, children up half the night playing fortnite, then are going around like zombies in school and not having basic life skills like reading a clock.

By all means fortnight has to have its time too, your kids have to be able to fit in with theyre peers (as you said), as long as its fit in rather than being at the forefront of family time.. As i said mate, I cant really comprehend how balancing that with actual life these days. Its a tuffy alright and if you find the balance perfect......share it. Millions of well wishing parents will want the answers. I was lucky, my family (big) was able to help. I heard a well known quote years ago that it takes a village to raise a child.....never a truer word said.

 

[dave n]

Things have moved on massively since the days of " pull yourself together and man up ", so you have nothing to fear from any form of counselling mate.

Just thinking out loud, but the armed forces now days have a lot of help for ex forces lads like yourself who are struggling.

I know you`ve had your fingers burned before with them mate, but it may be worth having a look at what they may be able to provide you ?

It would probably quicker with them too.

I tried asking the armed forces mate but they have told me first and foremost go through the NHS. I hope they have moved on from that policy though because I was basically told to get back to work or be sacked and now I'm in a far worse state I feel.
I actually feel abandoned

 

[COYBL25]

I tried asking the armed forces mate but they have told me first and foremost go through the NHS. I hope they have moved on from that policy though because I was basically told to get back to work or be sacked and now I'm in a far worse state I feel.
I actually feel abandoned

Have you tried - Combat Stress and S.A.F.A mate ?

They are independent of the armed forces.

I know S.A.F.A. massively helped out a mate of mine who was ex RAF.

Something that may be worth looking into ?

 

[Billy Dean]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/45336260

Great initiative by Henson this. If every club in the land had a similar scheme imagine how many people could be reached

 

[dave n]

Have you tried - Combat Stress and S.A.F.A mate ?

They are independent of the armed forces.

I know S.A.F.A. massively helped out a mate of mine who was ex RAF.

Something that may be worth looking into ?

Thanks mate. I've contacted both today through email.

 

[Billy Dean]

I've posted on here on and off before about work-related burnout over the last couple of years. Starting to feel as if I'm ready to give in to it soon. Had an unbelievably stressful year, and 2017 was not great either. Had a serious injury (twisted testicle FFS) that needed emergency surgery back in Dec last year which led to quite a bad bout of anxiety which came up as a reaction to that. Had 7 weeks off work after the op and then came back into a real difficult situation at work. At just the time when I needed stability there so I could focus on recovering from the health issues. To cut a long story short the most senior manager in the team wants to restructure a bit and move me into another team into a new role at a similar level. As well as moving someone else into my role who had previously been reporting to me. He didn't inform us all at the same time. I may well have been the last to find out, which led to a couple of humiliating situations that knocked my confidence a lot. The manager of the team I'm moving to doesn't seem to buy into the changes so is no hurry to get me set up and integrated in the new team. I kind of sympathise with him. He's had it dumped on him. But consequently I'm sort of in limbo, not really in any team properly, picking up scraps of work here and there. No objectives set for 2018 and its September already. It kind of leads me to feel that no one is arsed whether I'm there or not. Which is kind of a first world problem I guess but not a good situation to be in for a human being I don't think.

The worst was in June-July where for 4 weeks I was only sleeping 4 hours a night even at weekends. It's improved since then and I thought I had a handle on it. I was starting to get some plans together to get out of there and was feeling quite optimistic and I thought I'd found a way to not let things bother me. Then all of a sudden last weekend this low mood came over me. I was back home because my Dad had tickets for the test match so it should've been an enjoyable weekend but I just felt depressed and I don't know exactly why. I remember waking up having had some kind of dream about work, maybe that caused it. I also caught myself in the mirror and couldn't believe how old I look compared to before the op. It shocks me sometimes. Big black swollen bags under my eyes.

Ended up getting myself signed off sick on Weds. My GP had been recommending taking a couple of weeks off for a while, as did a counsellor I've been seeing. I'll probably get myself signed off next week too. It felt good in a way to go off, like I was taking my life back into my own hands and out of the hands of these managers. But it also feels strange when physically I'm capable of working. My GP told me to go out as much as poss, get exercise, meet friends, do fun stuff which I'm doing but there's a constant worry I'll get spotted. I don't know whether to tell the truth to my managers or whether to keep quiet. I'm scared that if I own up to being burnt out/depressed I'll get blackmarked or something. And equally if I don't own up I'm worried I'll be marked as a trouble maker bunking off work when he feels like it.

Also, if I'm being honest with myself I need to get out of there. It's just scary as the conditions are very good (financially at least) and I'm worried it might not improve my stress levels if I just leave, that it would feel like jumping into an abyss. I've got enough saved up to be able to quit without having anything lined up and take a break for a while, but still it's scary.

Anyway, I've gone on quite a bit. Just wanted to get it off my chest, and just fishing for some positive/encouraging comments I guess

 

[COYBL25]

I've posted on here on and off before about work-related burnout over the last couple of years. Starting to feel as if I'm ready to give in to it soon. Had an unbelievably stressful year, and 2017 was not great either. Had a serious injury (twisted testicle FFS) that needed emergency surgery back in Dec last year which led to quite a bad bout of anxiety which came up as a reaction to that. Had 7 weeks off work after the op and then came back into a real difficult situation at work. At just the time when I needed stability there so I could focus on recovering from the health issues. To cut a long story short the most senior manager in the team wants to restructure a bit and move me into another team into a new role at a similar level. As well as moving someone else into my role who had previously been reporting to me. He didn't inform us all at the same time. I may well have been the last to find out, which led to a couple of humiliating situations that knocked my confidence a lot. The manager of the team I'm moving to doesn't seem to buy into the changes so is no hurry to get me set up and integrated in the new team. I kind of sympathise with him. He's had it dumped on him. But consequently I'm sort of in limbo, not really in any team properly, picking up scraps of work here and there. No objectives set for 2018 and its September already. It kind of leads me to feel that no one is arsed whether I'm there or not. Which is kind of a first world problem I guess but not a good situation to be in for a human being I don't think.

The worst was in June-July where for 4 weeks I was only sleeping 4 hours a night even at weekends. It's improved since then and I thought I had a handle on it. I was starting to get some plans together to get out of there and was feeling quite optimistic and I thought I'd found a way to not let things bother me. Then all of a sudden last weekend this low mood came over me. I was back home because my Dad had tickets for the test match so it should've been an enjoyable weekend but I just felt depressed and I don't know exactly why. I remember waking up having had some kind of dream about work, maybe that caused it. I also caught myself in the mirror and couldn't believe how old I look compared to before the op. It shocks me sometimes. Big black swollen bags under my eyes.

Ended up getting myself signed off sick on Weds. My GP had been recommending taking a couple of weeks off for a while, as did a counsellor I've been seeing. I'll probably get myself signed off next week too. It felt good in a way to go off, like I was taking my life back into my own hands and out of the hands of these managers. But it also feels strange when physically I'm capable of working. My GP told me to go out as much as poss, get exercise, meet friends, do fun stuff which I'm doing but there's a constant worry I'll get spotted. I don't know whether to tell the truth to my managers or whether to keep quiet. I'm scared that if I own up to being burnt out/depressed I'll get blackmarked or something. And equally if I don't own up I'm worried I'll be marked as a trouble maker bunking off work when he feels like it.

Also, if I'm being honest with myself I need to get out of there. It's just scary as the conditions are very good (financially at least) and I'm worried it might not improve my stress levels if I just leave, that it would feel like jumping into an abyss. I've got enough saved up to be able to quit without having anything lined up and take a break for a while, but still it's scary.

Anyway, I've gone on quite a bit. Just wanted to get it off my chest, and just fishing for some positive/encouraging comments I guess

@anjelikaferrett is good at the work related stuff mate.

Depression can just fall upon you for no reason and that`s what can make it worse, as you try to shrug it off / fight it.

You sound like you`ve got a good GP there mate, so I`d maintain contact with him / her as much as possible.

There`s not many GP`s advocate exercise or meeting up with friends etc, which is wonderful advice

 

[Tipp blue]

I've posted on here on and off before about work-related burnout over the last couple of years. Starting to feel as if I'm ready to give in to it soon. Had an unbelievably stressful year, and 2017 was not great either. Had a serious injury (twisted testicle FFS) that needed emergency surgery back in Dec last year which led to quite a bad bout of anxiety which came up as a reaction to that. Had 7 weeks off work after the op and then came back into a real difficult situation at work. At just the time when I needed stability there so I could focus on recovering from the health issues. To cut a long story short the most senior manager in the team wants to restructure a bit and move me into another team into a new role at a similar level. As well as moving someone else into my role who had previously been reporting to me. He didn't inform us all at the same time. I may well have been the last to find out, which led to a couple of humiliating situations that knocked my confidence a lot. The manager of the team I'm moving to doesn't seem to buy into the changes so is no hurry to get me set up and integrated in the new team. I kind of sympathise with him. He's had it dumped on him. But consequently I'm sort of in limbo, not really in any team properly, picking up scraps of work here and there. No objectives set for 2018 and its September already. It kind of leads me to feel that no one is arsed whether I'm there or not. Which is kind of a first world problem I guess but not a good situation to be in for a human being I don't think.

The worst was in June-July where for 4 weeks I was only sleeping 4 hours a night even at weekends. It's improved since then and I thought I had a handle on it. I was starting to get some plans together to get out of there and was feeling quite optimistic and I thought I'd found a way to not let things bother me. Then all of a sudden last weekend this low mood came over me. I was back home because my Dad had tickets for the test match so it should've been an enjoyable weekend but I just felt depressed and I don't know exactly why. I remember waking up having had some kind of dream about work, maybe that caused it. I also caught myself in the mirror and couldn't believe how old I look compared to before the op. It shocks me sometimes. Big black swollen bags under my eyes.

Ended up getting myself signed off sick on Weds. My GP had been recommending taking a couple of weeks off for a while, as did a counsellor I've been seeing. I'll probably get myself signed off next week too. It felt good in a way to go off, like I was taking my life back into my own hands and out of the hands of these managers. But it also feels strange when physically I'm capable of working. My GP told me to go out as much as poss, get exercise, meet friends, do fun stuff which I'm doing but there's a constant worry I'll get spotted. I don't know whether to tell the truth to my managers or whether to keep quiet. I'm scared that if I own up to being burnt out/depressed I'll get blackmarked or something. And equally if I don't own up I'm worried I'll be marked as a trouble maker bunking off work when he feels like it.

Also, if I'm being honest with myself I need to get out of there. It's just scary as the conditions are very good (financially at least) and I'm worried it might not improve my stress levels if I just leave, that it would feel like jumping into an abyss. I've got enough saved up to be able to quit without having anything lined up and take a break for a while, but still it's scary.

Anyway, I've gone on quite a bit. Just wanted to get it off my chest, and just fishing for some positive/encouraging comments I guess

There's a few things I'd always recommend doing as a starting point mainly because you can do them for free, 1 mindfulness based cognitive therapy, there's guided YouTube videos. 2 get out and exercise. 3 get rid of social media if you have any accounts.