Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Vegas Toffee Girl]

I've been watching ASMR videos on YouTube for several years now. I watch them every night to help me to relax and get to sleep, so I wanted to share this.

Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is an experience characterized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine. ASMR signifies the subjective experience of "low-grade euphoria" characterized by "a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin". It is most commonly triggered by specific auditory or visual stimuli, and less commonly by intentional attention control.

Before watching these videos, I would usually experience ASMR while at the hair salon, for example.

Not everyone experiences ASMR, but they can still benefit from watching the videos. Many people with insomnia, PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression have commented on YT that ASMR videos have helped them tremendously!

ASMR videos involve role playing with sounds and movements to trigger ASMR and relaxation. Maria, in the video below, is who I watch and is one of the best on YT. There are many others on YT as well. Hope this may help someone as much as it helps me!

 

[Billy Dean]

@anjelikaferrett is good at the work related stuff mate.

Depression can just fall upon you for no reason and that`s what can make it worse, as you try to shrug it off / fight it.

You sound like you`ve got a good GP there mate, so I`d maintain contact with him / her as much as possible.

There`s not many GP`s advocate exercise or meeting up with friends etc, which is wonderful advice

Yeah I think it might be the German way of handling it. Both the GP and the Counsellor I spoke to say it’s standard procedure to sign someone off for 2 weeks and recommend that they get out and about in that time because sitting around at home on your own won’t make things better.

I have to say I’m starting to feel a lot better since yesterday. I’ve had my alarm switched off and slept 8 hours a night the last few days. Maybe that’s started to have an effect. Been to the gym, met friends out for dinner etc. Feeling much less tense/low and no longer look like I’ve been 10 rounds with Tyson.

Still a bit worried about being spotted out and about but I guess if that’s the case I’ll just have to tell the truth. Been signed off this week but will probably go back to work in the next couple of days.

There's a few things I'd always recommend doing as a starting point mainly because you can do them for free, 1 mindfulness based cognitive therapy, there's guided YouTube videos. 2 get out and exercise. 3 get rid of social media if you have any accounts.

Thanks mate I’ll check the videos out. I got rid of IG a few weeks ago which has been brilliant. Still got FB and Twitter but will probably keep them.

 

[jaybx1878]

I’ve just heard some sad news about a good blue who was found dead . I lost touch with him when he stopped going the game . Gutted RIP Podge lad .

I was gutted to hear about this, he was one funny lad him, would have you in tears of laughter, hadn't seen him for a few years myself but have some great memories of him. RIP Podge.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I've posted on here on and off before about work-related burnout over the last couple of years. Starting to feel as if I'm ready to give in to it soon. Had an unbelievably stressful year, and 2017 was not great either. Had a serious injury (twisted testicle FFS) that needed emergency surgery back in Dec last year which led to quite a bad bout of anxiety which came up as a reaction to that. Had 7 weeks off work after the op and then came back into a real difficult situation at work. At just the time when I needed stability there so I could focus on recovering from the health issues. To cut a long story short the most senior manager in the team wants to restructure a bit and move me into another team into a new role at a similar level. As well as moving someone else into my role who had previously been reporting to me. He didn't inform us all at the same time. I may well have been the last to find out, which led to a couple of humiliating situations that knocked my confidence a lot. The manager of the team I'm moving to doesn't seem to buy into the changes so is no hurry to get me set up and integrated in the new team. I kind of sympathise with him. He's had it dumped on him. But consequently I'm sort of in limbo, not really in any team properly, picking up scraps of work here and there. No objectives set for 2018 and its September already. It kind of leads me to feel that no one is arsed whether I'm there or not. Which is kind of a first world problem I guess but not a good situation to be in for a human being I don't think.

The worst was in June-July where for 4 weeks I was only sleeping 4 hours a night even at weekends. It's improved since then and I thought I had a handle on it. I was starting to get some plans together to get out of there and was feeling quite optimistic and I thought I'd found a way to not let things bother me. Then all of a sudden last weekend this low mood came over me. I was back home because my Dad had tickets for the test match so it should've been an enjoyable weekend but I just felt depressed and I don't know exactly why. I remember waking up having had some kind of dream about work, maybe that caused it. I also caught myself in the mirror and couldn't believe how old I look compared to before the op. It shocks me sometimes. Big black swollen bags under my eyes.

Ended up getting myself signed off sick on Weds. My GP had been recommending taking a couple of weeks off for a while, as did a counsellor I've been seeing. I'll probably get myself signed off next week too. It felt good in a way to go off, like I was taking my life back into my own hands and out of the hands of these managers. But it also feels strange when physically I'm capable of working. My GP told me to go out as much as poss, get exercise, meet friends, do fun stuff which I'm doing but there's a constant worry I'll get spotted. I don't know whether to tell the truth to my managers or whether to keep quiet. I'm scared that if I own up to being burnt out/depressed I'll get blackmarked or something. And equally if I don't own up I'm worried I'll be marked as a trouble maker bunking off work when he feels like it.

Also, if I'm being honest with myself I need to get out of there. It's just scary as the conditions are very good (financially at least) and I'm worried it might not improve my stress levels if I just leave, that it would feel like jumping into an abyss. I've got enough saved up to be able to quit without having anything lined up and take a break for a while, but still it's scary.

Anyway, I've gone on quite a bit. Just wanted to get it off my chest, and just fishing for some positive/encouraging comments I guess

Hi, apologies for the delay. Mental health and well-being at work is a huge topic at the moment. Stress/anxiety/mental health problems are invariably in the top three reasons why people are off on long term sick. So your employer should be sympathetic - they want you to be in work, happy and therefore productive. Regardless of what your manager thinks of the new set up, he still has a responsibility to you and should be doing his job by integrating you into the team. Depending on how you feel about the manager you could talk to them about how you feel, tell them how it is impacting on you and ask them to do something to remedy your current situation. All very informally- which is the best way usually. You do need to tell them about your health - they may be able to help you - put things in place to make you feel better at work - such as being able to take a break and physically get away from your work/desk for a little while. You should have a stress risk assessment done - to see if it can identify the areas of your work that make you feel worse. when you do go back to work, ask if you can have a phased return - gradually build up your hours over a period of a few weeks until you are back to your contracted hours.

As for your GP, they are taking a pro-active approach. Telling you to do fun stuff is great and if it is helping your mental health and well-being then who is your employer to query it. Just because you are off sick, doesn't mean you have to sit in a darkened room all day!

 

[FC sexy xxx]

I was gutted to hear about this, he was one funny lad him, would have you in tears of laughter, hadn't seen him for a few years myself but have some great memories of him. RIP Podge.

He was a loon in a non threatening way . Great lad great blue . Gutted

 

[efcforever]

I've been watching ASMR videos on YouTube for several years now. I watch them every night to help me to relax and get to sleep, so I wanted to share this.

Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is an experience characterized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine. ASMR signifies the subjective experience of "low-grade euphoria" characterized by "a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin". It is most commonly triggered by specific auditory or visual stimuli, and less commonly by intentional attention control.

Before watching these videos, I would usually experience ASMR while at the hair salon, for example.

Not everyone experiences ASMR, but they can still benefit from watching the videos. Many people with insomnia, PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression have commented on YT that ASMR videos have helped them tremendously!

ASMR videos involve role playing with sounds and movements to trigger ASMR and relaxation. Maria, in the video below, is who I watch and is one of the best on YT. There are many others on YT as well. Hope this may help someone as much as it helps me!

This is really interesting. I've experienced ASMR several times throughout my life, as far back as being a child. I've never understood it or even spoken of it until now. I've never understood what the triggers are or how to describe the feeling. I tried watching a few different videos but they didn't trigger any feelings for me.

Thanks for posting this though. It's interesting to know that other people experience this and that it is recognised by scientific research.

 

[Vegas Toffee Girl]

This is really interesting. I've experienced ASMR several times throughout my life, as far back as being a child. I've never understood it or even spoken of it until now. I've never understood what the triggers are or how to describe the feeling. I tried watching a few different videos but they didn't trigger any feelings for me.

Thanks for posting this though. It's interesting to know that other people experience this and that it is recognised by scientific research.

Growing up, I just assumed everyone got ASMR sometimes like me! lol It wasn't until I read an article about it a few years ago that I learned what it was, etc.

Most of the time I don't experience ASMR watching the videos, but they help me relax enough to fall asleep. I watch other types of YT videos for relaxation as well, but these are just my go-to ones.

 

[JelavicBrate2]

I've posted on here on and off before about work-related burnout over the last couple of years. Starting to feel as if I'm ready to give in to it soon. Had an unbelievably stressful year, and 2017 was not great either. Had a serious injury (twisted testicle FFS) that needed emergency surgery back in Dec last year which led to quite a bad bout of anxiety which came up as a reaction to that. Had 7 weeks off work after the op and then came back into a real difficult situation at work. At just the time when I needed stability there so I could focus on recovering from the health issues. To cut a long story short the most senior manager in the team wants to restructure a bit and move me into another team into a new role at a similar level. As well as moving someone else into my role who had previously been reporting to me. He didn't inform us all at the same time. I may well have been the last to find out, which led to a couple of humiliating situations that knocked my confidence a lot. The manager of the team I'm moving to doesn't seem to buy into the changes so is no hurry to get me set up and integrated in the new team. I kind of sympathise with him. He's had it dumped on him. But consequently I'm sort of in limbo, not really in any team properly, picking up scraps of work here and there. No objectives set for 2018 and its September already. It kind of leads me to feel that no one is arsed whether I'm there or not. Which is kind of a first world problem I guess but not a good situation to be in for a human being I don't think.

The worst was in June-July where for 4 weeks I was only sleeping 4 hours a night even at weekends. It's improved since then and I thought I had a handle on it. I was starting to get some plans together to get out of there and was feeling quite optimistic and I thought I'd found a way to not let things bother me. Then all of a sudden last weekend this low mood came over me. I was back home because my Dad had tickets for the test match so it should've been an enjoyable weekend but I just felt depressed and I don't know exactly why. I remember waking up having had some kind of dream about work, maybe that caused it. I also caught myself in the mirror and couldn't believe how old I look compared to before the op. It shocks me sometimes. Big black swollen bags under my eyes.

Ended up getting myself signed off sick on Weds. My GP had been recommending taking a couple of weeks off for a while, as did a counsellor I've been seeing. I'll probably get myself signed off next week too. It felt good in a way to go off, like I was taking my life back into my own hands and out of the hands of these managers. But it also feels strange when physically I'm capable of working. My GP told me to go out as much as poss, get exercise, meet friends, do fun stuff which I'm doing but there's a constant worry I'll get spotted. I don't know whether to tell the truth to my managers or whether to keep quiet. I'm scared that if I own up to being burnt out/depressed I'll get blackmarked or something. And equally if I don't own up I'm worried I'll be marked as a trouble maker bunking off work when he feels like it.

Also, if I'm being honest with myself I need to get out of there. It's just scary as the conditions are very good (financially at least) and I'm worried it might not improve my stress levels if I just leave, that it would feel like jumping into an abyss. I've got enough saved up to be able to quit without having anything lined up and take a break for a while, but still it's scary.

Anyway, I've gone on quite a bit. Just wanted to get it off my chest, and just fishing for some positive/encouraging comments I guess

People work for a "living" it your not well enough to go to work, then there is no point as your only gonna make yourself more ill and that's not going to help anyone. Only you know how you feel and you shouldn't let the old man up nonsense, distract you from your personal well being.

 

[JelavicBrate2]

To be honest, I thought the same about myself and called into my local Mind and asked the girls in there if I could see someone about anger management. Went in and had an informal chat with the therapist there and she said it wasn’t for me and there could be underlying issues that cause a build up of emotion which I didn’t deal with. She explained how there most common attendees for anger management were for people who are often angry and violent as a means of control or lack of discipline growing up etc. I’m not sure if it applies to you - if there’s anything under the surface it can come out. I ended up booked in with a counsellor for a few sessions without charge.

I have attended anger management many many years ago following a referral due to alleged behaviour problems at school and teachers exaggerating my ADHD at the time. (It was actually anxiety and stress manifested as irritation and lack of effort so no thanks from me). It will teach things like counting to 10 before you speak and leaving the room or place of anger to cool down etc. Also thinking of an event or time or place you felt calm and feeling the feeling and focusing on it to get out of the ‘red room’ of anger.

Basically just think about if there’s anything ‘causing’ or ‘contributing’ but Mind were excellent in helping me understand myself.

I think it depends, I think people misunderstand aggression and anger. Being passionate isn't a bad thing, being aggressive is. I'm a pretty relaxed and nice fella, but if people are rude or disrespectful I get very annoyed to the point I have to leave the situation. As scousers, we can be very friendly but we can get very angry if people annoy us same with the Geordies and the Irish. I also think some people are just not cut out to work in certain environments like an office or a retail job, where there's always gonna be a least one divvy to annoy you. If you do a job outdoors or with a friend or limit your chance of getting annoyed. I find myself getting increasingly bad tempered as I get older, but it's just one of those things. I never really had anger problems as a kid, because I never really had that my problems as you get older you tend to get moodier. I've known people who are really angry fellas, but the nicest fellas you can meet, they're only bad if you are rude to them. I think it just depends who you're directing your anger at people who have done you harm or just random people who might do you harm.

 

[efcforever]

Growing up, I just assumed everyone got ASMR sometimes like me! lol It wasn't until I read an article about it a few years ago that I learned what it was, etc.

Most of the time I don't experience ASMR watching the videos, but they help me relax enough to fall asleep. I watch other types of YT videos for relaxation as well, but these are just my go-to ones.

After reading your post I read another article about known triggers. One of these triggers is when someone is explaining an idea or concept to you. I've often experienced ASMR due to this. For example, I remember being on holiday viewing some ruins in Turkey and having the tour guide explain some history to me. Things like that sometimes trigger ASMR for me. I've sometimes thought I was a bit strange because of this. I'm glad to finally hear from someone who has also experienced it.

 

[Billy Dean]

Hi, apologies for the delay. Mental health and well-being at work is a huge topic at the moment. Stress/anxiety/mental health problems are invariably in the top three reasons why people are off on long term sick. So your employer should be sympathetic - they want you to be in work, happy and therefore productive. Regardless of what your manager thinks of the new set up, he still has a responsibility to you and should be doing his job by integrating you into the team. Depending on how you feel about the manager you could talk to them about how you feel, tell them how it is impacting on you and ask them to do something to remedy your current situation. All very informally- which is the best way usually. You do need to tell them about your health - they may be able to help you - put things in place to make you feel better at work - such as being able to take a break and physically get away from your work/desk for a little while. You should have a stress risk assessment done - to see if it can identify the areas of your work that make you feel worse. when you do go back to work, ask if you can have a phased return - gradually build up your hours over a period of a few weeks until you are back to your contracted hours.

As for your GP, they are taking a pro-active approach. Telling you to do fun stuff is great and if it is helping your mental health and well-being then who is your employer to query it. Just because you are off sick, doesn't mean you have to sit in a darkened room all day!

People work for a "living" it your not well enough to go to work, then there is no point as your only gonna make yourself more ill and that's not going to help anyone. Only you know how you feel and you shouldn't let the old man up nonsense, distract you from your personal well being.

Thanks for the messages. Everything was going well, I was feeling more like myself and I was planning on going back to work tomorrow. Then started having worries today about my bosses reacting badly to me being off etc, threatening me with discipline or whatever and my mood has dipped again. Oh well at least I'm getting a very clear idea of what the cause of the problem is. I guess I'll be staying off work again tomorrow as I'll most likely be wide awake all night. Will try again on Thursday. Man this is a crap situation. At least I'll have the chance to go out tomorrow night with some mates which will cheer me up most likely. And yeah I guess I'm gonna have to be honest with my new boss about the health problems although I don't feel too comfortable about it.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Thanks for the messages. Everything was going well, I was feeling more like myself and I was planning on going back to work tomorrow. Then started having worries today about my bosses reacting badly to me being off etc, threatening me with discipline or whatever and my mood has dipped again. Oh well at least I'm getting a very clear idea of what the cause of the problem is. I guess I'll be staying off work again tomorrow as I'll most likely be wide awake all night. Will try again on Thursday. Man this is a crap situation. At least I'll have the chance to go out tomorrow night with some mates which will cheer me up most likely. And yeah I guess I'm gonna have to be honest with my new boss about the health problems although I don't feel too comfortable about it.

Talk to somebody before you go back in. HR, your boss, is there a counselling and support/welfare officer. Or do you have any mates there who could meet you before you went back in and go in with you for a bit of moral support.

 

[Jokerdan]

Thanks for the messages. Everything was going well, I was feeling more like myself and I was planning on going back to work tomorrow. Then started having worries today about my bosses reacting badly to me being off etc, threatening me with discipline or whatever and my mood has dipped again. Oh well at least I'm getting a very clear idea of what the cause of the problem is. I guess I'll be staying off work again tomorrow as I'll most likely be wide awake all night. Will try again on Thursday. Man this is a crap situation. At least I'll have the chance to go out tomorrow night with some mates which will cheer me up most likely. And yeah I guess I'm gonna have to be honest with my new boss about the health problems although I don't feel too comfortable about it.

And if anxiety is one of the underlying issues just take it easy on the ale. It's a depressant and the next day the impact of a session - and I'm not suggesting for one moment this is your intention when you meet your mates - as one who knows from experience the downside the next day really doesn't make the short term euphoria from drinking worth it. It will just set you back and you need to give yourself a chance to fully recover. Good luck, BD

 

[Zezti]

Another footballer has talked publically about his depression (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/45510063) and I feel like some terms the media reports uses might put off some people talking about their struggles.

The big one is "admitting his own battle with depression". 'Admit' is a term we have come to use with crimes or other wrong-doing. Depression isn't a crime. It is not something that needs to be admitted as no-one is to blame. There's a lot of power in choice of words, especially when reporting on mental health.

Maybe I'm just being a bit pedantic. Just something I thought of today reading about that player.

 

[roydo]

Another footballer has talked publically about his depression (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/45510063) and I feel like some terms the media reports uses might put off some people talking about their struggles.

The big one is "admitting his own battle with depression". 'Admit' is a term we have come to use with crimes or other wrong-doing. Depression isn't a crime. It is not something that needs to be admitted as no-one is to blame. There's a lot of power in choice of words, especially when reporting on mental health.

Maybe I'm just being a bit pedantic. Just something I thought of today reading about that player.

Accepting you have a problem is far more fitting, I agree.

Mrs R had a problem early in the Summer. Terrifying, for both of us. Long story short, she is very close to being Ok, and back to work soon, But the way she/we accepted early on we had a problem meant the support and guidance she got from her GP and Therapist have shown unbelievable progress. Their words, not mine.

Anyrate, the Therapist has asked Mrs R if she can write a paper on her case for wider publication, because although she is retiring next month, her process with Mrs R with early, 100% acceptance can be the key to effective results, has astonished her. Will lob it in here when it is live.

As the OP said, sort of, Its Good to Talk folks.

edit. Next time I see a footballer "admitting" he has a broken leg will be the time to "admit" to having a mental health issue.