I agree but that's the media for you. Like when they mention a famous person's "secret battle with cancer" No it wasn't secret it was private. They didn't want it all over the media.
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Tipp blue
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Looking for some advice, my wife's sister's marriage broke down on Monday my in laws are all in shock and very angry at her husband (former), I'm especially worried about my sister-in-law she's not eaten more than a handful of food since Monday morning and has lost a stone already. I know it's early days still, but I was hoping for some advice on how I might be able to help her as my in-laws are honestly not much help to her at the moment with the anger clouding their thoughts and actions.
Alanbileysfeathercut
Player Valuation: £80m
I've posted on here on and off before about work-related burnout over the last couple of years. Starting to feel as if I'm ready to give in to it soon. Had an unbelievably stressful year, and 2017 was not great either. Had a serious injury (twisted testicle FFS) that needed emergency surgery back in Dec last year which led to quite a bad bout of anxiety which came up as a reaction to that. Had 7 weeks off work after the op and then came back into a real difficult situation at work. At just the time when I needed stability there so I could focus on recovering from the health issues. To cut a long story short the most senior manager in the team wants to restructure a bit and move me into another team into a new role at a similar level. As well as moving someone else into my role who had previously been reporting to me. He didn't inform us all at the same time. I may well have been the last to find out, which led to a couple of humiliating situations that knocked my confidence a lot. The manager of the team I'm moving to doesn't seem to buy into the changes so is no hurry to get me set up and integrated in the new team. I kind of sympathise with him. He's had it dumped on him. But consequently I'm sort of in limbo, not really in any team properly, picking up scraps of work here and there. No objectives set for 2018 and its September already. It kind of leads me to feel that no one is arsed whether I'm there or not. Which is kind of a first world problem I guess but not a good situation to be in for a human being I don't think.
The worst was in June-July where for 4 weeks I was only sleeping 4 hours a night even at weekends. It's improved since then and I thought I had a handle on it. I was starting to get some plans together to get out of there and was feeling quite optimistic and I thought I'd found a way to not let things bother me. Then all of a sudden last weekend this low mood came over me. I was back home because my Dad had tickets for the test match so it should've been an enjoyable weekend but I just felt depressed and I don't know exactly why. I remember waking up having had some kind of dream about work, maybe that caused it. I also caught myself in the mirror and couldn't believe how old I look compared to before the op. It shocks me sometimes. Big black swollen bags under my eyes.
Ended up getting myself signed off sick on Weds. My GP had been recommending taking a couple of weeks off for a while, as did a counsellor I've been seeing. I'll probably get myself signed off next week too. It felt good in a way to go off, like I was taking my life back into my own hands and out of the hands of these managers. But it also feels strange when physically I'm capable of working. My GP told me to go out as much as poss, get exercise, meet friends, do fun stuff which I'm doing but there's a constant worry I'll get spotted. I don't know whether to tell the truth to my managers or whether to keep quiet. I'm scared that if I own up to being burnt out/depressed I'll get blackmarked or something. And equally if I don't own up I'm worried I'll be marked as a trouble maker bunking off work when he feels like it.
Also, if I'm being honest with myself I need to get out of there. It's just scary as the conditions are very good (financially at least) and I'm worried it might not improve
my stress levels if I just leave, that it would feel like jumping into an abyss. I've got enough saved up to be able to quit without having anything lined up and take a break for a while, but still it's scary.
Anyway, I've gone on quite a bit. Just wanted to get it off my chest, and just fishing for some positive/encouraging comments I guess
Try not too worry about what others may think or say .@anjelikaferrett is good at the work related stuff mate.
Depression can just fall upon you for no reason and that`s what can make it worse, as you try to shrug it off / fight it.
You sound like you`ve got a good GP there mate, so I`d maintain contact with him / her as much as possible.
There`s not many GP`s advocate exercise or meeting up with friends etc, which is wonderful advice
Keep focused on yourself and let others worry about themselves
Alanbileysfeathercut
Player Valuation: £80m
Tommy F
Player Valuation: £950k
There is help for ex-forces from a range of sources, depending on what you need. Not sure where you live but I may be able to point you in a direction but difficult without private messaging on here.
Zezti
Player Valuation: £70m
For what its worth I did contact the BBC and they agreed and have changed it. I'm glad. I wouldn't like people to think depression is something to admit to.
Hi mate I need anger management or just mental help. I'm not suicidal I just no due to mood swings and angry outbursts there is something not right. It's to late for my marriage but not for me. I really need to change.
I'm living in Shropshire and I've just spoken to combat stress who are getting back to me within 14 days.
Tommy F
Player Valuation: £950k
That's slightly outside my area (Merseyside) but Combat Stress know what they are doing, anger management is quite a specialist one but they should not be strangers to that one. Just out of interest, there some online support which has experience with veterans with mental health challenges, here is a link;
https://www.bigwhitewall.com/V2/corporateUK.aspx
Some further resources for anger management (with links to other issues) is below;
https://www.mind.org.uk/information...ems/anger/treatment-and-support/#.W5w7dKCZ200
tim cahill
Player Valuation: £50m
I’m no expert but I’d just say to offer to be there for her. Encourage her to be with people and do stuff. Time will help and so will being occupied.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Anyone got any advice regarding sleeplessness? My wife has been struggling to sleep for about 12 months. Even when she's exhausted it takes her hours to get to sleep. She tells me that she just can't shut her mind off at the end of the day.
Sleep is one thing I don't struggle with. I'm usually asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, so I'm not sure how to help her.
Sleep is one thing I don't struggle with. I'm usually asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, so I'm not sure how to help her.
Tommy F
Player Valuation: £950k
Billy Dean
Player Valuation: £70m
Hi mate, I’ve had a lot of insomnia this year for the reasons I’ve been posting about over the last few days. I read up a bit about CBT-I and that it’s successful in 80% of cases. I then discovered these:
https://sleepstation.org.uk/
https://www.theinsomniaclinic.co.uk/
I went with the second one in the end and had a Skype session a couple of weeks ago. Next one next week. It’s quite pricey but I thought if you’re gonna invest in something then healthy sleep is as good a reason as any. There might be cheaper options around though.
Not had the best few days. Have cancelled all my plans with friends and plan on becoming a bit of a recluse for a while, least until hopefully I'm able to lift my spirits.
Decided to bin off social media, all it does is bring out the worst in people and it's too draining. Just not enjoying myself at the moment but I guess these mood slips pass after a few days, they usually do, but going forward in the future I know what I really can't be arsed with anymore.
Decided to bin off social media, all it does is bring out the worst in people and it's too draining. Just not enjoying myself at the moment but I guess these mood slips pass after a few days, they usually do, but going forward in the future I know what I really can't be arsed with anymore.
If you`re going to fly solo for a while mate, why don`t you do treat yourself and do things that you really like doing, whatever that may be - cinema, gym, going for a walk, shopping, visiting somewhere you love, anything really, just to give yourself something to look forward to ?