hi mate, sorry I didn't come on for an update before now I only really get a chance to come on here in work
so I met her, and it went as well as it probably could have done
she is the same woman at the end of the day and there is going to be some traits she can never shake, however she did seem more level headed (she is back on her meds) and she agreed that things could have been dealt with in so many better ways
she even admitted a few things that she had said where in the heat of argument and were not actually true
we agreed a clean slate between everyone, and I said "when I say clean, I mean clean, if anyone makes so much as a face or a word, then I wont have it", she agreed with this
I then messaged her a few hours later to see if she had talked it through with my step dad and if he agreed (he has always kept out of things to be fair to him) that it was the best course of action
I then invited her to meet my son yday morning, they only came for an hour or so but "a start" was all it was supposed to be, it was nice, made me feel happy, my lad started getting a bit ratty as he was tired and she calmed him and rocked him to sleep, and I just thought 'look how good she is at this, how stupid that so much time has been wasted'
so all positive so far, I am tentatively pleased, but lets see how it goes