I tell her how my anxiety effects me, like how if I speak to a stranger how I'll run out of things to say and feel very foolish but she says stuff like "how do you know they'll be thinking that you look stupid?". I obviously don't know that, but I tell her that I can't allow myself to assume anything positive and that's my problem, but again it's just stuff like "they might think you're perfectly normal, stop assuming the worst." But that is the problem, people with anxiety can't help but assume the worst.
Ok, perhaps try it from another angle. Assume the worst and determine how bad the 'worst' really is. People might think you look stupid, well start off by saying, "
this may sound stupid but...". Maybe start thinking of options, if it is the worst. Is it worth continuing the conversation?
When my kids were young & starting out at that horrible day care centre called school, I prepared them for bullies. I used to say that if you were picked on, take the power away from the Bully. For example;
Bully: "You're ugly"
lil Rat:
"Ugly? You don't know the half of it! I'm so ugly, the dog hides in its box when I get home!"
Now, take all this with a pinch of Salt because my advice probably breaks all the conventions that Psychologists spend years learning, but my thought was to take the Bully's 'joke' away from them. When you take their power away from them, people start listening to you rather than them, and then you control where it goes, not them. Now, how does this have anything to do with your situation? Well, don't let them think you're 'stupid' and leave it like that (if you believe that's the case). Make a joke out of it, like "
...did I just say that out loud? Ha! I haven't even had a drink yet!". Recover a situation that you feel uncomfortable about by making light of it. You need to understand, or learn, that it's ok to be a little silly, or be perceived as 'stupid'. If that's their opinion, move on regardless. You don't
need to impress anyone in a Social situation.
As for running out of conversation, all you need to do is be aware of the latest news. When there's a bit of a pause, try something like; "
...What about that thing in Italy last week? Did you see it?". Any news item can be a topic during a lull in conversation. Pick innocuous topics of course, you don't want to pick a controversial topic, just in case! Pick topics you are well familiar with.
Another thing...a conversation is a two way street. If there's a lull, that's because neither of you have something to say. Don't wear it all yourself. The other person is as much to 'blame' as you.
