Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[MrD]

Look at this guy being positive

I'm not able to follow my own advice but sometimes I can give some out.

 

[COYBL25]

I'm not able to follow my own advice but sometimes I can give some out.

Same as us all mate

 

[gorgeousgeorgeEFC]

@gorgeousgeorgeEFC how you doing fella

I'm slowly getting there mate. Thanks for enquiring; it means a lot. I haven't placed a bet since last week's debacle.

 

[AmericasToffee]

@Glasshalffull hope you are doing as well as possible. Check in with us when you feel ready.

 

[MrD]

I absolutely love it in here. As much as you all may cringe at this but I feel welcome and even liked (as much as you can like an internet weirdo).

You lot have restored my faith in humanity. You have offered me help, advice and even practical things to help me with my situation.

This place needs an award of some sort. It really does.

Hopefully this time next year I'll be proud(er) of myself and you lot will also be made up for me even if I've only progressed a little. Forward motion and all that.

Thanks guys

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Been wobbling the past few days.

Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.

Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.

This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.

My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).

Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?

Are you me? This is literally me. I mean it, I am the toughest critic of myself to the point of pain, I literally do not let myself rest until I see what it does to my performance. You can't be 100% all the time, I won't rant here cos you have developed some insights here, just try and be kinder to yourself.

 

[brieverton]

Having been accepted for universal credit, they also told me I can have help towards rent and a deposit etc.

I rang up about every place to rent that was within my budget yesterday and everything has gone.

As a last resort I looked on spareroom.co.uk and found a few nice houses that rent a room and allow full access to the house etc.
Luckily I had a nice fella reply right away, I told him my situation and he was ok with it. I'm going to see the house on Friday.

So hopefully, the Universal credit/housing association can sort me out with the rent and that until I get work there.

If that goes down the pan I'll have to find something else.

Since last week even, that sounds like a huge amount of progress mate. Small steps and all that.

I think you can be very pleased with what you have done so far. Keep it going mate, every small decision you make and thing you do to help yourself and your daughter is a victory and each thing will build on the next.

 

[COYBL25]

Since last week even, that sounds like a huge amount of progress mate. Small steps and all that.

I think you can be very pleased with what you have done so far. Keep it going mate, every small decision you make and thing you do to help yourself and your daughter is a victory and each thing will build on the next.

@MrD I can only echo this.

Look back when your first posts in this thread and now look at your last few posts.

They`re worlds apart and whether you realise it or not, you`ve moved forwards measurably in the space of a couple of weeks or so.

One step at a time mate.

It may take a while but you`ll get there in the end

 

[Charro]

Been wobbling the past few days.

Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.

Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.

This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.

My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).

Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?

This was exactly me when I first started out in my current job.

First of all, nobody just gets sacked unless its for a disciplinary reason. If you're making mistakes, especially in the probation period, help will be at hand. Worst thing comes to worst they'll just extend your probation period.

Mindfulness helped me a lot during my wobble in work. Download the calm app, or headspace, even look on youtube for breathing techniques. I would have a ten minutes on the train practicing this and go into work with a clear mind that helped me work better throughout the day.

Also, be aware that you're worrying too much and that things will never be as bad as you're expecting.

 

[EFCPaul]

This was exactly me when I first started out in my current job.

First of all, nobody just gets sacked unless its for a disciplinary reason. If you're making mistakes, especially in the probation period, help will be at hand. Worst thing comes to worst they'll just extend your probation period.

Mindfulness helped me a lot during my wobble in work. Download the calm app, or headspace, even look on youtube for breathing techniques. I would have a ten minutes on the train practicing this and go into work with a clear mind that helped me work better throughout the day.

Also, be aware that you're worrying too much and that things will never be as bad as you're expecting.

Thanks mate and thanks to everyone else.

Today has been hard, my anxiety has gone through the roof. They've lifted certain tasks from my workload to help me refocus myself which I appreciate but I still feel like crap to be honest. Like I've failed at something.

Just half an hour ago I had massive anxiety attack seemingly out of nowhere. One of the managers has been on holiday this week, she's a boss woman who's been nothing but lovely and gone out of her way to help integrate me since I joined. Yet just before suddenly i began to panic "what's she going to think when she's back next week and is brought up to speed on what's been going on, how I messed up on this and that" etc. Felt a horrible surge of panic for a few minutes, telling myself she'll be angry and want to pull the plug on me because it.

Where are these irrational thoughts coming from?! It's getting very horrible now, trying so hard to snap out of it.

 

[AmericasToffee]

Thanks mate and thanks to everyone else.

Today has been hard, my anxiety has gone through the roof. They've lifted certain tasks from my workload to help me refocus myself which I appreciate but I still feel like crap to be honest. Like I've failed at something.

Just half an hour ago I had massive anxiety attack seemingly out of nowhere. One of the managers has been on holiday this week, she's a boss woman who's been nothing but lovely and gone out of her way to help integrate me since I joined. Yet just before suddenly i began to panic "what's she going to think when she's back next week and is brought up to speed on what's been going on, how I messed up on this and that" etc. Felt a horrible surge of panic for a few minutes, telling myself she'll be angry and want to pull the plug on me because it.

Where are these irrational thoughts coming from?! It's getting very horrible now, trying so hard to snap out of it.

Emotion drives thoughts and emotion drives memory creation. It's a cycle. I would hazard a very uneducated guess of fear of losing a job you enjoy. Be in the moment, do your best.

 

[MrD]

Since last week even, that sounds like a huge amount of progress mate. Small steps and all that.

I think you can be very pleased with what you have done so far. Keep it going mate, every small decision you make and thing you do to help yourself and your daughter is a victory and each thing will build on the next.

Thanks Bri. I'm just waiting for the first major set back or crushing blow! It's inevitable really.

@MrD I can only echo this.

Look back when your first posts in this thread and now look at your last few posts.

They`re worlds apart and whether you realise it or not, you`ve moved forwards measurably in the space of a couple of weeks or so.

One step at a time mate.

It may take a while but you`ll get there in the end

Thanks mate. You have more faith in me than i do!

Thanks mate and thanks to everyone else.

Today has been hard, my anxiety has gone through the roof. They've lifted certain tasks from my workload to help me refocus myself which I appreciate but I still feel like crap to be honest. Like I've failed at something.

Just half an hour ago I had massive anxiety attack seemingly out of nowhere. One of the managers has been on holiday this week, she's a boss woman who's been nothing but lovely and gone out of her way to help integrate me since I joined. Yet just before suddenly i began to panic "what's she going to think when she's back next week and is brought up to speed on what's been going on, how I messed up on this and that" etc. Felt a horrible surge of panic for a few minutes, telling myself she'll be angry and want to pull the plug on me because it.

Where are these irrational thoughts coming from?! It's getting very horrible now, trying so hard to snap out of it.

Once dodgy thoughts and feelings start rolling it's very hard to stop them. The more we try to stop them the more stress it creates and they can trigger other thoughts and issues.

I don't know myself how to stop them but for me, time helps. A day, a week. They do go.

Sometimes I (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) just have to ride them out.

Not good advice but I do feel your pain mate. You'll be ok.

 

[dave n]

Having been accepted for universal credit, they also told me I can have help towards rent and a deposit etc.

I rang up about every place to rent that was within my budget yesterday and everything has gone.

As a last resort I looked on spareroom.co.uk and found a few nice houses that rent a room and allow full access to the house etc.
Luckily I had a nice fella reply right away, I told him my situation and he was ok with it. I'm going to see the house on Friday.

So hopefully, the Universal credit/housing association can sort me out with the rent and that until I get work there.

If that goes down the pan I'll have to find something else.

Hi Mr D.
I hope you don't think I'm butting in mate. This is just my experience of spareroom.
I'm going through a divorce and I've used spareroom lots. It's a good website but just to warn you once you find your feet you will probably want your own place as most house shares I have experienced/ spoken to don't allow children to stay over night as there just isn't the room. I've a 14 year old daughter and this has been a real tricky situation to get round.
The council offered me a really cheap deal on a good flat for 6 months because I was on the verge of being homeless. Have you tried them?
Good luck mate. Just take your time getting the right place for you.

 

[MrD]

Hi Mr D.
I hope you don't think I'm butting in mate. This is just my experience of spareroom.
I'm going through a divorce and I've used spareroom lots. It's a good website but just to warn you once you find your feet you will probably want your own place as most house shares I have experienced/ spoken to don't allow children to stay over night as there just isn't the room. I've a 14 year old daughter and this has been a real tricky situation to get round.
The council offered me a really cheap deal on a good flat for 6 months because I was on the verge of being homeless. Have you tried them?
Good luck mate. Just take your time getting the right place for you.

Hey! No not butting in at all mate. I spoke to the guy on spare room and explained my situation, I told him about my little girl and he was totally fine with it. He said that he as gone through a divorce and had to leave his kids too so he knows the score.

He explained that his kids stay with him a few days a week. I'll ask him again tomorrow when I meet him if he is fine about her staying over for the odd night. If he says no then I'll have to find an alternative.

Not sure about the council. Well, I've not asked. Not sure how fast I'll get offered anything as my daughter will be living with my ex but staying with me a couple of days/nights a week. I suppose I can always ask.

I think I'll be in the housing association place tomorrow, I'll ask about going on the list and that anyway.

Staying in the house on spare room hopefully will be temporary anyway once I have work and have saved for a few months I'll be looking for my own place.

So at the moment my short term goal is to get out of my mum's as it's driving me insane, and just to be under a nice roof near my little girl... long-term, working and being able to afford somewhere for myself.

Thanks for the comment though mate. I'm always open to more advice and that. I need all the help I can get!

 

[EFCPaul]

Another frustrating day.

Nothing really went wrong for me in terms of doing my tasks, just something in the afternoon seriously P'd me off. Got sent an email from a colleague basically being told to stop talking so much and distracting other colleagues during my lull periods because they're still busy. Was left absolutely steaming mad.

You see of the 8 people in the office we're all in I talk by far the least. In fact I barely open my mouth unless I'm querying something about an order. I've been there 4 months and none of my colleagues know hardly anything about me because I just don't join in the general office chit chat at all. Not because I'm meaning to be rude or have nothing to say for myself, I'm just careful to keep personal things private after learning lessons in other jobs. I've held my tongue on countless occasions even when I've wanted to take part because I haven't wanted to be centre of attention. You see my desk is on the far side of the room and somewhat isolated, therefore if a discussion is going on I'm out the loop because I'd physically have to turn around and insert myself. I consciously choose to never do this even when have I felt like talking many times, I may appear to my colleagues to he a timid person but I'm not I just know it will serve me better to keep everyone at arm's length.

The only time today I "chatted" to a colleague was to another team member when he was in a particularly stressful moment. He kind of just had a mini-rant because something had annoyed him very badly and I said across to him "just remember who you're doing it for mate" (he has a young baby). 10 minutes later I get that email.

Extremely angry even now I'm on my way home, I dont know whether to raise it on Monday when I'm supposed to have a catch up the managers over how things have been going. Part of me wants to express how just slighted I feel by such a hypocritical and baseless reprimand I've received but I also feel, especially considering how bad a week I've had performance wise, I'd just be making even more problems for myself and it's better to keep my head down even if I'm extremely unhappy about it.

Vent over.