Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

MrD said:
This place needs an award of some sort. It really does.
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Its enough that we know this thread helps tons of blues, and non blues most likely. We know for a fact that at least one poster had enough support from you lot to change his mind about ending it all, and we also know that a sadly deceased poster thought enough of the thread to ask us if it was ok for him to make a contribution to the site from his estate. (We declined).

We also know it has been viewed by a very prominent public figure in the world of mental health, amongst other things, who was astonished by it. He fed that feedback to a House of Commons select committee or sommet.

That speaks far louder than a certificate. So thanks.
 
EFCPaul said:
Another frustrating day.

Nothing really went wrong for me in terms of doing my tasks, just something in the afternoon seriously P'd me off. Got sent an email from a colleague basically being told to stop talking so much and distracting other colleagues during my lull periods because they're still busy. Was left absolutely steaming mad.

You see of the 8 people in the office we're all in I talk by far the least. In fact I barely open my mouth unless I'm querying something about an order. I've been there 4 months and none of my colleagues know hardly anything about me because I just don't join in the general office chit chat at all. Not because I'm meaning to be rude or have nothing to say for myself, I'm just careful to keep personal things private after learning lessons in other jobs. I've held my tongue on countless occasions even when I've wanted to take part because I haven't wanted to be centre of attention. You see my desk is on the far side of the room and somewhat isolated, therefore if a discussion is going on I'm out the loop because I'd physically have to turn around and insert myself. I consciously choose to never do this even when have I felt like talking many times, I may appear to my colleagues to he a timid person but I'm not I just know it will serve me better to keep everyone at arm's length.

The only time today I "chatted" to a colleague was to another team member when he was in a particularly stressful moment. He kind of just had a mini-rant because something had annoyed him very badly and I said across to him "just remember who you're doing it for mate" (he has a young baby). 10 minutes later I get that email.

Extremely angry even now I'm on my way home, I dont know whether to raise it on Monday when I'm supposed to have a catch up the managers over how things have been going. Part of me wants to express how just slighted I feel by such a hypocritical and baseless reprimand I've received but I also feel, especially considering how bad a week I've had performance wise, I'd just be making even more problems for myself and it's better to keep my head down even if I'm extremely unhappy about it.

Vent over.
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As someone who is on the other side mate, just my opinion. I manage a team that contains a few young people and some of them do talk too much. I had an appraisal with the youngest of them yesterday. She asked me why towards the end of the appraisal document I only wrote down the odd word she said and I told her because she'd talked me out!

From your posts the last couple of days I wonder if after you've made a couple of error's they've decided the best way forward for you is to get your head down and not be disturbed? From experience it's usually the least disruptive who cop it so maybe they've just happened to be passing by and seen you talking at the wrong time.

Have you ever thought of non office work? I work in an office but I've got a job where I can work from where I want and can isolate myself as and when the pressures on. Might be worth thinking if you want to stay in that kind of environment or try something different while you're still young.
 
EFCPaul said:
Another frustrating day.

Nothing really went wrong for me in terms of doing my tasks, just something in the afternoon seriously P'd me off. Got sent an email from a colleague basically being told to stop talking so much and distracting other colleagues during my lull periods because they're still busy. Was left absolutely steaming mad.

You see of the 8 people in the office we're all in I talk by far the least. In fact I barely open my mouth unless I'm querying something about an order. I've been there 4 months and none of my colleagues know hardly anything about me because I just don't join in the general office chit chat at all. Not because I'm meaning to be rude or have nothing to say for myself, I'm just careful to keep personal things private after learning lessons in other jobs. I've held my tongue on countless occasions even when I've wanted to take part because I haven't wanted to be centre of attention. You see my desk is on the far side of the room and somewhat isolated, therefore if a discussion is going on I'm out the loop because I'd physically have to turn around and insert myself. I consciously choose to never do this even when have I felt like talking many times, I may appear to my colleagues to he a timid person but I'm not I just know it will serve me better to keep everyone at arm's length.

The only time today I "chatted" to a colleague was to another team member when he was in a particularly stressful moment. He kind of just had a mini-rant because something had annoyed him very badly and I said across to him "just remember who you're doing it for mate" (he has a young baby). 10 minutes later I get that email.

Extremely angry even now I'm on my way home, I dont know whether to raise it on Monday when I'm supposed to have a catch up the managers over how things have been going. Part of me wants to express how just slighted I feel by such a hypocritical and baseless reprimand I've received but I also feel, especially considering how bad a week I've had performance wise, I'd just be making even more problems for myself and it's better to keep my head down even if I'm extremely unhappy about it.

Vent over.
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It’s just office politics mate, don’t over think it, as they’ll move onto something else next week.

I worked in an office were I was the only fella for a while.

They were fine with me as I was bloke, but they weren’t half vicious towards each other over the most trivial things.

Just keep your head down and let it wash over you ;)
 
roydo said:
Its enough that we know this thread helps tons of blues, and non blues most likely. We know for a fact that at least one poster had enough support from you lot to change his mind about ending it all, and we also know that a sadly deceased poster thought enough of the thread to ask us if it was ok for him to make a contribution to the site from his estate. (We declined).

We also know it has been viewed by a very prominent public figure in the world of mental health, amongst other things, who was astonished by it. He fed that feedback to a House of Commons select committee or sommet.

That speaks far louder than a certificate. So thanks.
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I'm made up it's been recognised then. It's a bloody great place this. Not the issues and stress people suffer with but the responses and help.

Sometimes a calm voice in the middle of total turmoil can help immeasurably.

This place has real world experience to know how to deal with people and say the right thing.

Fantastic place, fantastic people.
 

MrD said:
I'm made up it's been recognised then. It's a bloody great place this. Not the issues and stress people suffer with but the responses and help.

Sometimes a calm voice in the middle of total turmoil can help immeasurably.

This place has real world experience to know how to deal with people and say the right thing.

Fantastic place, fantastic people.
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Well it isnt down to us, as in the site, its down to you lot.

I will be honest, when it was first suggested by @Groucho years ago, I was not sure it would work. I should have had more confidence in Evertonians.
 
roydo said:
Well it isnt down to us, as in the site, its down to you lot.

I will be honest, when it was first suggested by @Groucho years ago, I was not sure it would work. I should have had more confidence in Evertonians.
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Well it's needed and appreciated. I for one have been helped a lot in a short space of time.

Some of the kindness and offers of help honestly blew me away. An anonymous internet person was struggling and many other anonymous internet people didn't think twice to help.

It may not need an award as such but for me it's the best internet forum I've ever been on.

I just hope one day soon I'm in a position to offer help to someone who needs a hand.
 

EFCPaul said:
Been wobbling the past few days.

Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.

Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.

This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.

My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."

Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).

Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?
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Just believe in yourself. Always remember that whatever position you find yourself in there is always a way out. Lighten up and don’t keep issues to yourself because other people will like to help you. Asking for help or advice is a strength not a weakness. Think of the times when you did a really good job and how that made you feel, then feel it again. If you screw something up, just think what would I do next time. You’re a good guy so love yourself......
 
As Jon Gomm sings in his song passion flower (all about his struggles with bi-polar), "Weakness is not your weakness"

As he explained when I saw him, it's not a weakness at all to have a weakness or ask for help.

Amazing song too....(it's a bit Satriani and Vai-ish at times, to those who know who they are, still amazing though)

 
anjelikaferrett said:
I've just done a 2 day mental health first aid course over 2 days run by the TUC and Mental Health England. It was without doubt one of the best things I've ever done. I got so much out of it. It dealt with serious relevant issues. It was hard but not depressing. Keep trying to get on it if it comes up again.
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I have just come back to the site because I have been going through a really stressful time for a few years now. Found myself being far more aggressive in posts than I really am.....so banned myself :) Now have a resolution to my problems which should be sorted in a short space of time. However my apologies to all I have been quite vile to including even Leeds supporters....possibly. And a tip for all. Jack Daniels sorts nothing when life is rough!
 

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