Been wobbling the past few days.
Things have been stressful at work, we've been up against it and lots of responsibility has fell on my shoulders, not intentionally but pressure I've put on myself to help the side how and when I can.
Been making silly little errors, they've been piling up and whenever they're pointed out to me I feel like utter crap. It should just be constructive feedback but I've gotten to the point now where I'm totally paranoid throughout the working day, whenever two or more colleagues are having a discussion about something and look concerned I'm automatically assuming it's because of a problem I've caused. It's a horrendous feeling, I can't be at ease.
This afternoon I realised I'd made a very big error, forgotten to process quite a large order a few days ago and it's expected forndelivery tomorrow. Felt absolutely pig sick, so distraught I wanted to just go and hide in the toilets. Thankfully I held it together somewhat and pointed out what had happened to a superior quickly but she could tell how upset I was as I explained. She was beyond kind, she said it would get sorted and later came back to me saying they'd managed to fix the situation. I felt so terrible though, utterly embarrassed/angry with myself for cocking up and causing extra work when we're already very busy.
My colleague told me point blank afterwards that I'd done the right thing pointing it out when I did. She really said "we love having you here, you're doing so well and are being awfully hard on yourself. Things have been stressful recently but a few too many things have been pushed onto you and we realise that so don't be too upset."
Thankfully things weren't ultimately the disaster I thought I'd caused but it's just a summing up of how anxious/insecure I've been feeling. I keep feeling I'm letting them and myself down, worried that faith is being lost in me. Hearing my superior say the lovely things she said did help a lot but I dont know if these feelings will go away. Really hope so, I love this job and the people but I can't stop worrying I'm going to be let go (still in my probation period).
Does anyone have suggestions on how to stay in a more positive mindset?