Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[COYBL25]

Agree with this. I had a Chocolate Labrador and it died suddenly in November because it managed to get into the locked waste disposal bin and eat week old chicken (Labradors are overly obsessed with food). I do go out most weekends with my mates, it is the midweek boredom of just getting home from work and doing nothing, I used to have my tea and then I'd take the dog for a good hour or so walk and it was brilliant. It was a time I could just empty my head and look at the dog running along care free. Since the dog died I just get home and wait for the weekend to fill my mind, the only reason I wouldn't get another one is it would feel like replacing my old dog.

I know exactly where you're coming from with this one, but I think the fact that the good that you would get from having a new dog outweighs the initial guilt that you'd feel.. Dont look at it as a replacement, look at it as a new dog - that's what it is . What's the point in sitting at home during the week feeling miserable when you could easily remedy that. Get a dog from somewhere like the Dogs Trust or Freshfield. That way you can make yourself feel better in the knowledge that you've given a dog a home.

 

[Prevenger17]

same tbh, my life doesn't seem to have much to it at the moment. if we were as great as last season i don't think i'd be so upset with life. then again, being single doesn't help. get chatting to women on online dating and everything seems rosy, but yet again when everything seems good and they agree to meet, they just stop chatting and that's the end of it. one ludicrous circle my life seems to be at the moment.

i'd like to say i want to give online dating a knock on the head at the moment, but i can't deal with being single. it's not me, i've barely experienced it in a decade and now it's the first time it's happened to me being well away from friends and family which is the main problem. nobody at nights to talk too. the last one i've been speaking to was a real brave girl though, was open about how she's attempted suicide 3 times, but all seemed to be happier in her life now and how she's moving to aus in the summer.

i'm currently saving up for a house, will get things moving a bit more when i get the promotion at work - and that is something that does excite me, i just need to get more of a social life. been doing a couple of more things lately, but not enough imo. it's hard living somewhere with no friends though, i'm not the type to just get up and do things on my own. i signed up to citysocializer which i thought was a good step and then found out i have to pay money just to speak to people, anybody know of any similar sites which can be free?

Normally, I would say you might be disproportionately homing in on one reason for your unhappiness but it certainly sounds like the lack of a relationship is bothering you. I'm quite similar, to be honest. I felt terribly unanchored when I was single and I don't know what I'd do without my girlfriend. Can you think of anything you'd like to try your hand at that would involve you joining a group? Music or acting classes? Maybe taking a night course in something? I've never tried online dating, so I can't speak to its effectiveness, but I have found the more organic ways of meeting people work really well.

 

[Prevenger17]

well my current place doesn't allow pets. i have flirted with the idea, but i wouldn't want to do that to a pet. i mean i'm out all day at work, come home about 6ish half 6 and as i live right in the city centre and right by a busy road with no garden they would have to stay inside all the time, except when i take them out. i was thinking more of a cat than dog when exploring this, but same rules apply.

Also, each to their own, but I'd implore you not to get a cat if it would be confined in your apartment. They're natural predators and love to be outside, and I really don't think the idea of a "housecat" is a very humane one.

 

[COYBL25]

Also, each to their own, but I'd implore you not to get a cat if it would be confined in your apartment. They're natural predators and love to be outside, and I really don't think the idea of a "housecat" is a very humane one.

I agree mate, personally wouldn't even keep a budgie in a cage. However I think in cases like this the advantages possibly outweigh the disadvantages. There are are certain breeds of cat which are naturally quite lazy,a bit like Greyhounds !.
That's why I suggested doing research first. I'd hate to think of some poor Tom cat locked in a flat all day going stair crazy !

 

[Hibbertinho]

same tbh, my life doesn't seem to have much to it at the moment. if we were as great as last season i don't think i'd be so upset with life. then again, being single doesn't help. get chatting to women on online dating and everything seems rosy, but yet again when everything seems good and they agree to meet, they just stop chatting and that's the end of it. one ludicrous circle my life seems to be at the moment.

i'd like to say i want to give online dating a knock on the head at the moment, but i can't deal with being single. it's not me, i've barely experienced it in a decade and now it's the first time it's happened to me being well away from friends and family which is the main problem. nobody at nights to talk too. the last one i've been speaking to was a real brave girl though, was open about how she's attempted suicide 3 times, but all seemed to be happier in her life now and how she's moving to aus in the summer.

I've been trying online stuff lately, although I am only recently single, relatively. It isn't very fulfilling - and I think that's got a lot to do with the 'ratio' on some of these websites. It has been pretty rare that I got talking to anyone - and when I did it eventually fizzled out.

Normally, I would say you might be disproportionately homing in on one reason for your unhappiness but it certainly sounds like the lack of a relationship is bothering you. I'm quite similar, to be honest. I felt terribly unanchored when I was single and I don't know what I'd do without my girlfriend. Can you think of anything you'd like to try your hand at that would involve you joining a group? Music or acting classes? Maybe taking a night course in something? I've never tried online dating, so I can't speak to its effectiveness, but I have found the more organic ways of meeting people work really well.

I agree with this, I have felt much better about myself by attending night classes and film/book groups - dunno if that is your thing, but it is pretty casual to dip into... although it is easy for me being a student to access these things (and for free).

 

[toffeejack]

cheers, for the messages lads. i feel a bit silly writting it all down, because i know it's nothing serious, just a few ups and downs with my general moods mainly caused by boredom, i understand there are others in here who require more focus than me.

@Prevenger17, yeah, it is mainly caused by that, i mean with my last girlfriend she was always there at home when i got back from work, so although i didn't have any friends in the area, i still had her there to talk to and actually do things with, although i must admit, i should have paid her a lot more attention than i did. wouldn't have changed much though, we're just totally different people. i've barely been single in the last 9 years, but all the girls i met where through friend of a friend etc. now i'm just lost ha, can't really date anyone i work with because that would just make it awkward imo.

i've recently set up a film club to go with with a couple of work mates on tuesdays. i would like to join a cycling club, just need to find one who will fit my speed and agility, it's a bit harder living in a city as i don't drive. it's also so fecking freezing atm that it doesn't seem like an attractive proposition. there are a few clubs i'd like to join, but again, i'm more of a summer person and they're things better to do in good weather.

@Hibbertinho exactly the same mate, i've just got this opinion that make-up is the death of us males haha i see so many women who do look really pretty in a few of their photos, but when you see one of the them more in the natural beauty department they're not all that. But all this make-up gives them this extra confidence and makes them possibly want to punch above their weight, ha. i don't know, i sound really stupid saying something like that, haha. get to know me lasses, i'm a lovely laugh haha

 

[COYBL25]

cheers, for the messages lads. i feel a bit silly writting it all down, because i know it's nothing serious, just a few ups and downs with my general moods mainly caused by boredom, i understand there are others in here who require more focus than me.

@Prevenger17, yeah, it is mainly caused by that, i mean with my last girlfriend she was always there at home when i got back from work, so although i didn't have any friends in the area, i still had her there to talk to and actually do things with, although i must admit, i should have paid her a lot more attention than i did. wouldn't have changed much though, we're just totally different people. i've barely been single in the last 9 years, but all the girls i met where through friend of a friend etc. now i'm just lost ha, can't really date anyone i work with because that would just make it awkward imo.

i've recently set up a film club to go with with a couple of work mates on tuesdays. i would like to join a cycling club, just need to find one who will fit my speed and agility, it's a bit harder living in a city as i don't drive. it's also so fecking freezing atm that it doesn't seem like an attractive proposition. there are a few clubs i'd like to join, but again, i'm more of a summer person and they're things better to do in good weather.

@Hibbertinho exactly the same mate, i've just got this opinion that make-up is the death of us males haha i see so many women who do look really pretty in a few of their photos, but when you see one of the them more in the natural beauty department they're not all that. But all this make-up gives them this extra confidence and makes them possibly want to punch above their weight, ha. i don't know, i sound really stupid saying something like that, haha. get to know me lasses, i'm a lovely laugh haha

Don't feel silly mate, long periods of loneliness and boredom are reasons enough to cause bouts of depression. Keep posting when you're feeling done, as it,ll give you something to focus on and believe it or not getting stuff off your chest is therapeutic !

 

[moyeslovechild]

Been a bit on edge recently. Having some health problems that I'm waiting on a hospital appointment for, so stuck in with the folks a lot of the time. Try to do exercise and that (find it difficult to do much with my health problems so it's mostly old lady aerobics and that lol), go out with my mates when I can, overall I'm actually relatively happy in spite of that. Just can't seem to shake the feeling I'm waiting for something bad to happen and everything else is a distraction until then.

I think it is mostly down to the fact I'm doing feck all most days. Badly hoping I get sorted so I can actually get on with my life. I'll tell you what, it's given me a much greater appreciation of people who do have these long-term health problems (both physical and mental) and how tough it is. I will never judge an unkempt person I see by a Jobseekers (or elsewhere actually) again. Proper taxing mentally. Can see how easy it might be to fall into depression or addiction. Thankfully I've managed to avoid these, but avoiding the stress entirely is impossible and I'm not quite sure how to rationalise it all. A right old battle.

 

[toffeejack]

Don't feel silly mate, long periods of loneliness and boredom are reasons enough to cause bouts of depression. Keep posting when you're feeling done, as it,ll give you something to focus on and believe it or not getting stuff off your chest is therapeutic !

too true. as i find it much easier to talk to people over the internet than in person, it's of course more beneficial for me to do it this way partly anonymously as well. cheers again

 

[kithnou]

too true. as i find it much easier to talk to people over the internet than in person, it's of course more beneficial for me to do it this way partly anonymously as well. cheers again

Great tool...but first step for all who read this should be to talk to a professional, as well as chat here

 

[COYBL25]

Been a bit on edge recently. Having some health problems that I'm waiting on a hospital appointment for, so stuck in with the folks a lot of the time. Try to do exercise and that (find it difficult to do much with my health problems so it's mostly old lady aerobics and that lol), go out with my mates when I can, overall I'm actually relatively happy in spite of that. Just can't seem to shake the feeling I'm waiting for something bad to happen and everything else is a distraction until then.

I think it is mostly down to the fact I'm doing feck all most days. Badly hoping I get sorted so I can actually get on with my life. I'll tell you what, it's given me a much greater appreciation of people who do have these long-term health problems (both physical and mental) and how tough it is. I will never judge an unkempt person I see by a Jobseekers (or elsewhere actually) again. Proper taxing mentally. Can see how easy it might be to fall into depression or addiction. Thankfully I've managed to avoid these, but avoiding the stress entirely is impossible and I'm not quite sure how to rationalise it all. A right old battle.

The sense of foreboding that you're feeling is anxiety gnawing away at you. I,m guessing that you're not sleeping properly either ?. The worry about your health problems and the hospital appt has become lodged in your brain and it's manifesting itself as that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that you're carrying round witn you. Subconsciously you've become pre occupied by your worries - " I,m waiting for something bad to happen and everything else is a distraction to me ",

Being stuck in all the time is difficult too, as it's very easy to let yourself go - what's the point in having a shower and getting dressed if your not going out ?.

All these things that you're feeling are completely natural. You're in a worrying situation that you've probably never been in before, it's only normal that you feel the way your feeling at the mo.

What ever you do, carry on with your " old lady aerobics " and keep going out with your mates when you can. It's very easy to become withdrawn under your circumstances and that's when the bad stuff creeps in and takes over. Also tell your parents about you're worries if you feel able to. They may have noticed anyway and don't know how to approach the subject with you.

A very short term fix, could be a trip to the GP and explain how you're feeling in relation to you're medical problems etc and discuss the possibility of a very short term prescription of sedatives just to tide you over until you've had your hospital appt. The sedatives will take away the feeling of foreboding / anxiety, but are habit forming with long term use. I can't stress enough that they aren't for long term use, no more than a couple of weeks and any GP worthy their salt will know this.

Carry on posting too as this will help ease those feelings of anxiety. I,ve lived with anxiety problems for over a decade and what you're describing are text book symptoms. ( very well explained by the way ). The trick is nipping it in the bud before it becomes a real problem.

 

[Groucho]

Great tool...but first step for all who read this should be to talk to a professional, as well as chat here

This is right. Always go to your doctor.

In Liverpool at least the counselling service is run by a company called Inclusion Matters - I've spoken to them a few times and they helped the wife tremendously.

 

[roydo]

This is right. Always go to your doctor.

In Liverpool at least the counselling service is run by a company called Inclusion Matters - I've spoken to them a few times and they helped the wife tremendously.

When/If football forum award things have a "thread of the year", or "outstanding contribution to forums" award, @Groucho should be either given it for all time, or the award itself should be called "A Groucho".

In awe at this thread everytime I pop in. And at all the contributors.

 

[kithnou]

When/If football forum award things have a "thread of the year", or "outstanding contribution to forums" award, @Groucho should be either given it for all time, or the award itself should be called "A Groucho".

In awe at this thread everytime I pop in. And at all the contributors.

Agree mate. He is a gem. Where is that petition to sign to start an annual "GOT Grouchos"?

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Whenever i feel a bit low. I watch this video, now music is a personal thing and it may not do a thing for you, i was fortunate enough to be in this video for a split second & it reminds me of happier times.