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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

riddick said:
You are 100% right. I am...or should be...really happy in my life. I bought a house I have no business having, I love my wife and she's defintely settled down for me(she's quite fit). I don't exactly love my job but who does? I have 3 dags etc.

You aren't wrong in the slightest, it was more along the "i need to vent" crap. I think half my issue is I had an amazing life before the real world came crashing in, I had about a decade of backpacking around the world. Loved it. This is just mundane but thats really what life is mostly. Glimpses of special in between a whole lot of nothing.
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" This is just mundane but thats really what life is mostly. Glimpses of special in between a whole lot of nothing.".

This, 100%. I want to add something more eloquent but I really can't. What I would say m8 is as you know, a lot of people " Glimpses of special " don't happen. That doesn't automatically mean that our status or wealth are the main determinents of good mental health. A quick anecdote for you. I was the named nurse for a young girl - 12 - who was going through all sorts of bad stuff and when she arrived at the Unit, her dad was driving a top of the range Merc. He informed me on one occasion that " she wants for nothing, she's got a £20, 000 credit card has lots of clothes and she goes on holiday three times a year, she shouldn't have mental health problems, what can I do...". He was a very very wealthy man who didn't get his daughter wanted his time, not his money. I suggested he clear his diary on a Friday afternoon and that he " spend some time with her, eat ice cream take her to the pictures and make a fool of himself ' Point is we all think different, have totally different perspectives on life and as you know, happiness comes in all bundles and wrappings. I suppose I'm just saying, it's ok to be unhappy, or sad. It's part of life just as much as contentment and happiness. It's those " Glimpses of special " as you brilliantly put it, that we are lucky to have, and that give us the reassurence that life isn't ALL bad.

Sorry for the digression, I do that on occasions.
 
So I got a signed for letter from my work yesterday telling me that I have to attend this morning (it's an hour away) as they're bringing my notice period forward to 1 month and putting me on gardening leave (no more sick notes needed, at least). I have to return all the company property today as well (more on which later). Going in and doing it face to face is putting me in a really bad place, I'm terrified. I feel like they think I'm at it and that I've let everybody down. I only hope I can get through it without crying or otherwise making a fool of myself. This, however, only makes me realise how sick I really am.

I hardly slept last night for worrying.

The worst of this for me is that my bike is a lease from the company so I'll have to turn that in too. Now, I can't do it today (There's some parts on it that I paid for myself that I'll need to have a shop remove that are worth about 2000 EUR) but that means that from some point extremely near in the future I won't have a bike for the first time since I started cycling aged 14 and I've no idea when I'll be able to afford another one. That's also a scary and depressing thought as it's pretty much my main outlet and relaxant.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
So I got a signed for letter from my work yesterday telling me that I have to attend this morning (it's an hour away) as they're bringing my notice period forward to 1 month and putting me on gardening leave (no more sick notes needed, at least). I have to return all the company property today as well (more on which later). Going in and doing it face to face is putting me in a really bad place, I'm terrified. I feel like they think I'm at it and that I've let everybody down. I only hope I can get through it without crying or otherwise making a fool of myself. This, however, only makes me realise how sick I really am.

I hardly slept last night for worrying.

The worst of this for me is that my bike is a lease from the company so I'll have to turn that in too. Now, I can't do it today (There's some parts on it that I paid for myself that I'll need to have a shop remove that are worth about 2000 EUR) but that means that from some point extremely near in the future I won't have a bike for the first time since I started cycling aged 14 and I've no idea when I'll be able to afford another one. That's also a scary and depressing thought as it's pretty much my main outlet and relaxant.
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Is your bike on a Cycle2Work scheme?
 
Nymzee said:
Is your bike on a Cycle2Work scheme?
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All done and surprisingly pain free. They were really happy I resigned instead of dragging it out for months. They terminated my contract today but I'll get paid 2 months sitting at home, I can still claim unemployment as my doctor will vouch that I had to quit for health reasons.

The company bikes here work like a lease car. So I got the option today of returning it at the end of August or buying it. The price was madness however, I could buy it 2nd hand for half that so that's what I'll do.

I feel a load better already!
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
All done and surprisingly pain free. They were really happy I resigned instead of dragging it out for months. They terminated my contract today but I'll get paid 2 months sitting at home, I can still claim unemployment as my doctor will vouch that I had to quit for health reasons.

The company bikes here work like a lease car. So I got the option today of returning it at the end of August or buying it. The price was madness however, I could buy it 2nd hand for half that so that's what I'll do.

I feel a load better already!
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Ah nice, was just gonna say if it was C2W scheme there are ways around keeping it anyway.

Sounds good though and bet you feel loads lighter right now. Just focus on yourself for a few months now till you're ready to dip back into employment.
 

Nymzee said:
Ah nice, was just gonna say if it was C2W scheme there are ways around keeping it anyway.

Sounds good though and bet you feel loads lighter right now. Just focus on yourself for a few months now till you're ready to dip back into employment.
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No work e-mail, no work phone, never have to think about the price of cardboard boxes ever again. It's the best I've felt in weeks.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
All done and surprisingly pain free. They were really happy I resigned instead of dragging it out for months. They terminated my contract today but I'll get paid 2 months sitting at home, I can still claim unemployment as my doctor will vouch that I had to quit for health reasons.

The company bikes here work like a lease car. So I got the option today of returning it at the end of August or buying it. The price was madness however, I could buy it 2nd hand for half that so that's what I'll do.

I feel a load better already!
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Glad to hear you're feeling much better. You've 100% done the right thing. I've read some of your earlier posts about your job, and it's no surprise it's affected your mental health. You shouldn't feel guilty or think you contributed to it in any way. You were in a highly toxic working environment.

So many people prioritise their job over their mental health, but you've now reached a stage in your life where your mental health is the number one priority in your life. Make sure you keep it that way.

All the best for the future, mate.
 

Disgruntledgoat said:
All done and surprisingly pain free. They were really happy I resigned instead of dragging it out for months. They terminated my contract today but I'll get paid 2 months sitting at home, I can still claim unemployment as my doctor will vouch that I had to quit for health reasons.

The company bikes here work like a lease car. So I got the option today of returning it at the end of August or buying it. The price was madness however, I could buy it 2nd hand for half that so that's what I'll do.

I feel a load better already!
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Glad to hear it went smoothly.

I know nothing about cycling but just a thought, could you sell or trade the parts you own for another, albeit cheaper bike?
 
Not watching The Toffees helps, lol

No in all serious I had a fight against depression and anxiety for around 12 months, I was in a bit a bad relationship and although never felt like it at the time after a few weeks I realised ending that was the best thing that has happened to me. It was actually my work that noticed that I was suffering a little bit and they offered me counseling I went to one session but did not find it helpful. I ended up moving in with a friend a little bit out of the city and close to the country and the chilled environment has helped. I had no motivation was just going to work and back and I had no goals. I have found that exercising is very important and I was never much into running but I have got into that recently and even walking occasionally, which does help when I starting to feel low again. I set myself some goals at work and personal goals to work towards as well to help with the monotony of life and I have just been given a promotion and enrolled to study for my Masters. For me its about recognising when you are starting to feel low and what you can do to improve your mood.
 
Alexzander said:
Not watching The Toffees helps, lol

No in all serious I had a fight against depression and anxiety for around 12 months, I was in a bit a bad relationship and although never felt like it at the time after a few weeks I realised ending that was the best thing that has happened to me. It was actually my work that noticed that I was suffering a little bit and they offered me counseling I went to one session but did not find it helpful. I ended up moving in with a friend a little bit out of the city and close to the country and the chilled environment has helped. I had no motivation was just going to work and back and I had no goals. I have found that exercising is very important and I was never much into running but I have got into that recently and even walking occasionally, which does help when I starting to feel low again. I set myself some goals at work and personal goals to work towards as well to help with the monotony of life and I have just been given a promotion and enrolled to study for my Masters. For me its about recognising when you are starting to feel low and what you can do to improve your mood.
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This 100%, well done
 

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