Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Cameron Manning]

My job interview on Thursday went alright for those wishing me luck. I came out of it feeling I'd worked myself up into a panic for nothing. Said everything I could to show I had the relevant experience for the position. For a huge company I won't name they had me use a seven year old MacBook and mouse that look like it was from Poundland during an exercise.

Glad you got through the interview and hope you cop for the job. In many cases we all make the obstacles seem much larger than they actually are and worry ourselves frantically for days then it turns out, as it did for you, that it was no big deal. Let us all know how you got on, very best of luc.

 

[Spotty]

My thoughts on the Ukrainian crisis. I find myself viewing the whole sorry scenario as oddly life affirming. I've always subscribed to the saying " there but for the grace of God go I ". I shouldn't judge my personal circumstances based on comparisons with the " Lot " of other unfortunate folk, but I do. Nice home, secure and nothing " really " to worry about, with my worries paling onto insignificance compared the those poor souls in Eastern Europe. Adversity does tend to bring the best out of people does it not, and its heart warming to see how compassionate we are collectively towards those less fortunate and at times of great need.

But in reality - in comparison to others or not - they ARE none the less " our worries.". It's all very very subjective and that fact in itself means we " should " always be more understanding of other people's concerns.

My son said to me yesterday " Putin won't launch nuclear missiles at us will he dad ! ? " and all I could say was " I hope not son ". He's a worrier and dispute being a strapping fella and someone you wouldn't expect to be fragile emotionally, he is and he needs a lot of reassurance. Even as a child - and he still does - won't leave the house until you've replied to his " bye dad ". Frankly I love that about him, his dependence on being reassured.

I do hope the conflict hasn't caused many of us to be worried or anxious, but I for one become very reflective on how fortunate I am.

Take care all

 

[The Missing Lineker]

My thoughts on the Ukrainian crisis. I find myself viewing the whole sorry scenario as oddly life affirming. I've always subscribed to the saying " there but for the grace of God go I ". I shouldn't judge my personal circumstances based on comparisons with the " Lot " of other unfortunate folk, but I do. Nice home, secure and nothing " really " to worry about, with my worries paling onto insignificance compared the those poor souls in Eastern Europe. Adversity does tend to bring the best out of people does it not, and its heart warming to see how compassionate we are collectively towards those less fortunate and at times of great need.

But in reality - in comparison to others or not - they ARE none the less " our worries.". It's all very very subjective and that fact in itself means we " should " always be more understanding of other people's concerns.

My son said to me yesterday " Putin won't launch nuclear missiles at us will he dad ! ? " and all I could say was " I hope not son ". He's a worrier and dispute being a strapping fella and someone you wouldn't expect to be fragile emotionally, he is and he needs a lot of reassurance. Even as a child - and he still does - won't leave the house until you've replied to his " bye dad ". Frankly I love that about him, his dependence on being reassured.

I do hope the conflict hasn't caused many of us to be worried or anxious, but I for one become very reflective on how fortunate I am.

Take care all

I thought it was just my daughter that does this! I find it beautifully endearing. These lovely innocent souls deserve a better world

 

[Spotty]

I thought it was just my daughter that does this! I find it beautifully endearing. These lovely innocent souls deserve a better world

The Missing, it is endearing. He wants the World to be "right" and feels reassured. I said in my post the crisis was life affirming, it is but only in terms of us being more appreciative of what we have in our lives. We don't seem to learn from past experiences and it's very apt the old saying " if we don't lean from the past we are destined to repeat it ". You are spot on " deserve a better world ". I would be lying if I said I hadn't been thinking about it, a lot. Life can be hard enough without us making things worse for ourselves. V sad

 

[The Missing Lineker]

The Missing, it is endearing. He wants the World to be "right" and feels reassured. I said in my post the crisis was life affirming, it is but only in terms of us being more appreciative of what we have in our lives. We don't seem to learn from past experiences and it's very apt the old saying " if we don't lean from the past we are destined to repeat it ". You are spot on " deserve a better world ". I would be lying if I said I hadn't been thinking about it, a lot. Life can be hard enough without us making things worse for ourselves. V sad

Buddy, everything you say there is right but please switch yourself off from it for a while at least. I do that. Sounds uncaring but you can’t do anything to stop what’s going on so give yourself a break from it. You’re lucky you can. Go and spend the time instead with your adorable son ?

 

[DualityNSNO]

is there a thread talking just about jobs. it's such a ball ache dealing with companies on Indeed.

Companies in general tbh.

What's the update on the interview you went to?

P.S. working in IT here, so not surprised they gave you that. It's usually the HR or someone unrelated going "oh, we can do that!!!" last second and you scramble and get whatever piece of trash you can lol

 

[Marcus Halberstram]

What's the update on the interview you went to?

I didn't get it, they let me know yesterday. lets just say they're known for their bad recruitment hint hint.

onwards and upwards.

 

[DualityNSNO]

I didn't get it, they let me know yesterday. lets just say they're known for their bad recruitment hint hint.

onwards and upwards.

Is right mate.

Their loss.

 

[Gwladysover]

Just popped by to say Hope everyone is well today.?

 

[toffee-boy]

Hi all, not done this before so feels a little odd, however I'm struggling a bit today, not eating or sleeping very well at the moment, loss of appetite etc.
Just the state of the world is so concerning, I have this constant fear of impending doom that we're on course for a nuclear war.
I have a very young family and feel like I'm failing in doing my job role which is to protect them.
I've been trying to keep away from the news but find it very difficult as it's on your phone, TV, social media etc etc.
Been trying to continue with every day life and route, but I just have this constantly in the back of my mind going around and around and struggling to switch off from it.
I'm also starting to lose interest in the things I enjoyed before, like Everton, given away tickets etc as I don't have the motivation to get up and go.

All the best

 

[COYBL25]

Hi all, not done this before so feels a little odd, however I'm struggling a bit today, not eating or sleeping very well at the moment, loss of appetite etc.
Just the state of the world is so concerning, I have this constant fear of impending doom that we're on course for a nuclear war.
I have a very young family and feel like I'm failing in doing my job role which is to protect them.
I've been trying to keep away from the news but find it very difficult as it's on your phone, TV, social media etc etc.
Been trying to continue with every day life and route, but I just have this constantly in the back of my mind going around and around and struggling to switch off from it.
I'm also starting to lose interest in the things I enjoyed before, like Everton, given away tickets etc as I don't have the motivation to get up and go.

All the best

Hi mate,

I‘m no expert, but what you are describing there is almost txt book symptoms of depression.

If you haven’t done already, have a read up about it, as it’ll help you understand what’s going on with yourself.

It could just be that you need a short course of anti depressants, to correct the chemical imbalance in your brain, that can cause these feelings.

When you’re ready, maybe book an appt with your GP and go and have a chat. Be as honest, as you can be, as the more info they have, the more they will be able to help.

@Spotty can you give your usual, excellent professional advice ?

 

[Spotty]

Hi all, not done this before so feels a little odd, however I'm struggling a bit today, not eating or sleeping very well at the moment, loss of appetite etc.
Just the state of the world is so concerning, I have this constant fear of impending doom that we're on course for a nuclear war.
I have a very young family and feel like I'm failing in doing my job role which is to protect them.
I've been trying to keep away from the news but find it very difficult as it's on your phone, TV, social media etc etc.
Been trying to continue with every day life and route, but I just have this constantly in the back of my mind going around and around and struggling to switch off from it.
I'm also starting to lose interest in the things I enjoyed before, like Everton, given away tickets etc as I don't have the motivation to get up and go.

All the best

I think COYBL25 is spot on. Toffee boy I do think you are being a little hard on yourself in one respect. You allude to Ukrain and how it's having an affect on you. You my friend are like many of us. I posted not along ago in which I said my boy said to me " dad, will the Russians launch a nuclear attack ? ". He like me, you and many others feels terribly worried. Putin is very unstable. So toffee boy, please please don't beat yourself up something so many of us are experiencing about Ukraine. You want buddy, for your young family to live in a safe world and you want to keep them safe naturally. The not enjoying things anymore is what's called in psychiatry " Anhedonia ". It's just a fancy word for not enjoying things that would normally bring you pleasure. One more thing regarding your symptoms. You mention your a young dad but I'm pretty sure when I was a young dad, I wondered all the time about whether or not I was doing a good job as a dad. It's part of the natural process of being a new dad my friend, and it WILL improve as you get more used to being a father.

So if I was you, I would pay your Dr a visit. I probably think you are a little depressed, although as I have alluded to, I think some of the things your worked about are only natural as a young dad. IF medication is prescribed, they might just take the edge of things for you. Try to concentrate toffee on the the things you have control over. Discuss things with your partner if you have one, or with other family or friends. I'm sure they will be very supportive. People often ask " why am I depressed ". I ALWAYS answer " I don't know " because the reasons for depression are often very different.nWhat makes you worried, might not bother your friend or partner. But I do subscribe to the theory that it's often an accumulation of things. Your worried naturally about World events and what your perceiving as " parenting inadequacies " . With a little help from your Dr, support from friends and family and hopefully some positive news from Ukrain mat see an improvement in your mental health. I will close Toffee by saying don't put a time scale on how long it will take to start feeling better. There's no rush, take your time and be good to yourself buddy. Take care Toffee. If you want to DM me I will happily give you what support and advice I can.

 

[toffee-boy]

Hi mate,

I‘m no expert, but what you are describing there is almost txt book symptoms of depression.

If you haven’t done already, have a read up about it, as it’ll help you understand what’s going on with yourself.

It could just be that you need a short course of anti depressants, to correct the chemical imbalance in your brain, that can cause these feelings.

When you’re ready, maybe book an appt with your GP and go and have a chat. Be as honest, as you can be, as the more info they have, the more they will be able to help.

@Spotty can you give your usual, excellent professional advice ?

Hi mate,

Thanks for the reply, I've booked in to speak to somebody, as said this is all new to me and a little bit daunting talking about my feelings and worries. However I do now believe it's the right thing to do as I don't wish to have a negative impact on my family.

Thanks again

 

[toffee-boy]

I think COYBL25 is spot on. Toffee boy I do think you are being a little hard on yourself in one respect. You allude to Ukrain and how it's having an affect on you. You my friend are like many of us. I posted not along ago in which I said my boy said to me " dad, will the Russians launch a nuclear attack ? ". He like me, you and many others feels terribly worried. Putin is very unstable. So toffee boy, please please don't beat yourself up something so many of us are experiencing about Ukraine. You want buddy, for your young family to live in a safe world and you want to keep them safe naturally. The not enjoying things anymore is what's called in psychiatry " Anhedonia ". It's just a fancy word for not enjoying things that would normally bring you pleasure. One more thing regarding your symptoms. You mention your a young dad but I'm pretty sure when I was a young dad, I wondered all the time about whether or not I was doing a good job as a dad. It's part of the natural process of being a new dad my friend, and it WILL improve as you get more used to being a father.

So if I was you, I would pay your Dr a visit. I probably think you are a little depressed, although as I have alluded to, I think some of the things your worked about are only natural as a young dad. IF medication is prescribed, they might just take the edge of things for you. Try to concentrate toffee on the the things you have control over. Discuss things with your partner if you have one, or with other family or friends. I'm sure they will be very supportive. People often ask " why am I depressed ". I ALWAYS answer " I don't know " because the reasons for depression are often very different.nWhat makes you worried, might not bother your friend or partner. But I do subscribe to the theory that it's often an accumulation of things. Your worried naturally about World events and what your perceiving as " parenting inadequacies " . With a little help from your Dr, support from friends and family and hopefully some positive news from Ukrain mat see an improvement in your mental health. I will close Toffee by saying don't put a time scale on how long it will take to start feeling better. There's no rush, take your time and be good to yourself buddy. Take care Toffee. If you want to DM me I will happily give you what support and advice I can.

Hi spotty,

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my message.
I've taken the first step to speak to someone about the issues that I'm struggling with at the moment, the truth is I've had similar guilts in the past. When the whole covid started, the news made it sound like it was a virus that was about to wipe out man kind.
I had to keep working through the pandemic due to the line of work I do.
I was coming back from work the going straight into the shower, clothes in a black bag etc, the wife then took my lunch box out and put it on the side.
That was a bit all too much for me and I just broke down, as again I was terrified that I was going to bring covid into the home and harm the wife and kids.

This time I broke down on the sofa at home after reading the news. I feel im on a bit of a seesaw of emotions at the moment, which is unlike me as I'm normally a bubbly person, where if I spoke to friends they probably wouldn't believe me that I struggle from time to time

All the best

 

[COYBL25]

Hi mate,

Thanks for the reply, I've booked in to speak to somebody, as said this is all new to me and a little bit daunting talking about my feelings and worries. However I do now believe it's the right thing to do as I don't wish to have a negative impact on my family.

Thanks again

Your doing the right thing mate.

From my own experiences, if it’s not addressed, you almost become locked into a cycle of negativity and worry.

When the reality often is, that it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain, that needs addressing, via medication or therapy or both.

What you‘re feeling isnt abnormal mate, it’s just that you’re brain is a bit out of kilter and needs some help to re set.