Divorce help

[Little Ralphy]

Keep a detailed diary. Access, access requests, refusals. Keep texts.
Things may be good between you two but once the solicitors take over it gets scappy.
Had experience, not me, my sisters.
But it's important to be able to recall dates times and info etc. Good luck, shame you need this.

Thanks I started a diary a while back as her behaviour became increasingly erratic especially with the kids. I’ll start adding more detail as it happens.

Things aren’t good now though, one minute they will be but the next she’s on her phone and then asking how much my car is worth!

 

[larbert toffee]

Anyone been through a divorce in the UK?

Where did you find help etc. I’ve seen a few sites but everything for men seems to ask for money upfront and everything for women is free!

It’s also mostly about getting access to the kids but I shouldn’t have an issue with that part hopefully.

Anyone who has been through it able to offer any guidance where I could find out information etc please? Or anyone get good help from somewhere and could point me in that direction?

Feels like the mrs is walking around the house with a calculator, threatening me with all sorts. All the financial burden appears to be on me. Is this always the case?

Honestly don't know what it's like these days in England but a few years ago up here in Scotland you could get a free initial consultation with a solicitor for divorce which I took full advantage of and as we were fairly amicable we were able to split everything up without too much hassle or cost.
That asides my advice to you mate is you need some legal advice whether it costs you or not just to see where you legally stand in all this as you can get a lot of duff info out there.
Whatever you do I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Little Ralphy]

Honestly don't know what it's like these days in England but a few years ago up here in Scotland you could get a free initial consultation with a solicitor for divorce which I took full advantage of and as we were fairly amicable we were able to split everything up without too much hassle or cost.
That asides my advice to you mate is you need some legal advice whether it costs you or not just to see where you legally stand in all this as you can get a lot of duff info out there.
Whatever you do I wish you the best of luck.

Cheers mate, looks like I need to find a good solicitor for this.

 

[goldfinchmule]

Drag it out as much as possible.
Just pretend there's a chance of reconciliation, even if you hate her.
She'll bankrupt you and probably ruin your mental health.
Don't get divorced.

Better call saul.

 

[Little Ralphy]

Pah, if you're lucky. I got a female judge, I gets 30%

Can you appeal stuff like that? That’s my worry she keeps saying it’ll cost me thousands to go to court and I’ll end up with nothing.

Does the judge just hear both sides and then say a % .

 

[tonyhorne]

Honestly don't know what it's like these days in England but a few years ago up here in Scotland you could get a free initial consultation with a solicitor for divorce which I took full advantage of and as we were fairly amicable we were able to split everything up without too much hassle or cost.
That asides my advice to you mate is you need some legal advice whether it costs you or not just to see where you legally stand in all this as you can get a lot of duff info out there.
Whatever you do I wish you the best of luck.

This.

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

Can you appeal stuff like that? That’s my worry she keeps saying it’ll cost me thousands to go to court and I’ll end up with nothing.

Does the judge just hear both sides and then say a % .

It will cost mate..thousands

 

[Thomasc]

Just try and stay as amicable as possible and log everything.

If it gets nasty then at least you have that as a reference. Show that you have at least tried to be reasonable.

Never lose your rag. Try and be as perfect as you can until it’s sorted.

Not easy but try your hardest.

Good luck and try and stay positive.

 

[Damo_1878]

@Damo_1878

Not my area.

He's advised to get a good family law solicitor. Typically the first hour is free with solicitors. They do not charge the first hour as they find out some details. But after that it's chargeable. It's also advisable to listen to people who have been through divorce on here.

Thanks I started a diary a while back as her behaviour became increasingly erratic especially with the kids. I’ll start adding more detail as it happens.

Things aren’t good now though, one minute they will be but the next she’s on her phone and then asking how much my car is worth!

Make sure such diary is NOT ACCESSIBLE TO HER, even accidentally.

Or any notes or anything else. Just some advice. Even if you have to leave the notes at a friend or family.

It can be taken the wrong way, as it's about protecting you. Whereas it could be viewed the wrong way.

Especially if you are looking for an amicable separation/divorce

My advice if you can leave the diary securely either with family (mother/father or brother or sister etc)

 

[Bedfordblue]

Half your house and contents
Half your pension pot.
Half any other assets.
I've even heard it's 60/40 against the male.
Potential to spend thousands of pounds to get custody of kids,even if she messed about.
And still lose...or win.

Depends how acrimonious it is tbh.

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

Anyone been through a divorce in the UK?

Where did you find help etc. I’ve seen a few sites but everything for men seems to ask for money upfront and everything for women is free!

It’s also mostly about getting access to the kids but I shouldn’t have an issue with that part hopefully.

Anyone who has been through it able to offer any guidance where I could find out information etc please? Or anyone get good help from somewhere and could point me in that direction?

Feels like the mrs is walking around the house with a calculator, threatening me with all sorts. All the financial burden appears to be on me. Is this always the case?

The D-word is illegal in these here parts (ie. my vicinity)






"He said it again!"

 

[Bungle]

I've got no legal advice @Little Ralphy but hope it all turns out for the best, try not to let it get you down and keep yourself busy, take it as an opportunity to launch yourself into some new things that you might have been held back from doing previously.

Good luck mate and share on here if it helps, it definitely did for me recently.

 

[Bedfordblue]

Anyone been through a divorce in the UK?

Where did you find help etc. I’ve seen a few sites but everything for men seems to ask for money upfront and everything for women is free!

It’s also mostly about getting access to the kids but I shouldn’t have an issue with that part hopefully.

Anyone who has been through it able to offer any guidance where I could find out information etc please? Or anyone get good help from somewhere and could point me in that direction?

Feels like the mrs is walking around the house with a calculator, threatening me with all sorts. All the financial burden appears to be on me. Is this always the case?

I pretty much did it myself using a service called divorce track.
That said it was (reasonably) amicable and no kids involved.
As others have said, keep it as amicable as you are able to, which may be very difficult depending on your circumstances and your partner.
Try not to get too down about it, speak to your reliable friends a lot, if you are separating imminently find something to fill your time and take your mind of it (gym / sports / classes etc)

Good luck, keep your chin up and best stay out of the match days threads for a bit!

 

[alwaysblue]

Can you appeal stuff like that? That’s my worry she keeps saying it’ll cost me thousands to go to court and I’ll end up with nothing.

Does the judge just hear both sides and then say a % .

Not sure what your situation is exactly, but you are entitled to a free half hour session with a divorce lawyer. Mine was as simple as you get (no kids, young starting out with nothing and finished with a little bit of something so shared it evenly) so I was pretty sure what would happen and did a lot of research. I used the appointments as confirmation and never used a lawyer after. The biggest one was convincing her that for the majoruty a pension sharing order is an absolute waste of money.

No doubt she will be getting tonnes of advice from the friends/ social media lawyers and this is a huge problem.

in my experience, the person you have known (18 yrs) has gone and replaced by a money hungry beast. Driven mainly by misinformation. But the law is the law and is much better than it used to be should be fairer' the problem begins with the vampire like lawyers.
Be amicable as best as possible, but make no promise try to agree on things between yourselves. Use your time well, do research, use the free appointments and most of all good luck with it.

 

[Simo]

Can you appeal stuff like that? That’s my worry she keeps saying it’ll cost me thousands to go to court and I’ll end up with nothing.

Does the judge just hear both sides and then say a % .

Listen to others advice, make enquiries as to whether you can get any free initial consultation, usually is the case. Thereafter it'll cost quite a bit.
As has been said before, each case is different.
My ex was a nasty piece of work. Played the system.
Whatever it takes to give your kids as much of your time is important.

Don't listen to her, get a good solicitor and let them do the talking. You won't end up with nothing. Scare tactics, for a reaction.
Mediation will be first mate, could get resolved there

Do not forget there's someone else out there for you, you're just not aware of it right now