Divorce help

[Joey66]

Anyone been through a divorce in the UK?

Where did you find help etc. I’ve seen a few sites but everything for men seems to ask for money upfront and everything for women is free!

It’s also mostly about getting access to the kids but I shouldn’t have an issue with that part hopefully.

Anyone who has been through it able to offer any guidance where I could find out information etc please? Or anyone get good help from somewhere and could point me in that direction?

Feels like the mrs is walking around the house with a calculator, threatening me with all sorts. All the financial burden appears to be on me. Is this always the case?

Keep your nob in your pants - or as she crapped on you?
A divorce is like a hurricane for a male you wake up & the best things are gone - get a top divorce solicitor who has recommendations ASAP

 

[Little Ralphy]

Further to that i would say keep evidence of everything.

If you buy clothes or food for the kids keep a note of it. If you give them pocket money keep a note of it. If you pay for anything in the house like gas, electric, food etc then make it trackable for example if you send money to a joint account then write in the note of the transaction what its for or if you deal in cash then note the withdrawl from the machine and create a text message trail.

It sounds tedious but may be useful at some stage.

Thanks, I pay for everything to be fair, even send her money each month. Annoys me a bit cos she seems to spend all her money and now when we come to put it in the pot to be shared, it’ll be my savings to be shared, cos she spent all hers. Is what it is I guess.

 

[Little Ralphy]

Keep your nob in your pants - or as she crapped on you?
A divorce is like a hurricane for a male you wake up & the best things are gone - get a top divorce solicitor who has recommendations ASAP

Thanks, I’ll go with the advice on here and look for one first thing. See what legal help I can get.

 

[Joey66]

Thanks, I pay for everything to be fair, even send her money each month. Annoys me a bit cos she seems to spend all her money and now when we come to put it in the pot to be shared, it’ll be my savings to be shared, cos she spent all hers. Is what it is I guess.

I had a boss who was playing away - I lived next door he climbed up the downspout & kidnapped the two kids - she then when he was at work his wife put sugar in his car ..feul tank
one night I heard uproar one night went down to the nursery & his wife was knoking hell out of his girlfriend who was a plain Jane IMO .....
I had to call security.....
The moral of the story is a standing organ has no conscience!
My boss had me in front of Personal tried to discipline me for calling security etc I was accused of putting petrol in his car feul system ?
Little did he know his wife had been around to us to prove he indeed was a bigimist..
I just hinted to Personal that could I talk in private. He immediately dropped his allegations against me

I Immediately started looking for a new job away from this ex army man. He was a crap horticulturist anyrate plus the pay was crap,....

 

[dave n]

If you have a Mortgage stay in the house. My biggest mistake was moving out as she then had all the power and I got less than my share.

Don't agree to anything less than 50/50 childcare. That way she can't dictate when you see your children and poison them against you. Also because you won't be paying child Maintenance you can put that towards your rent/mortgage.

Take your money out of your bank account before she does. If her solicitor says you removed cash you just say you spent it on holidays and gambling. If you don't remove that money she will and you wont get a single penny back as its classed as joint money.

My divorce cost me about £9000 but I wasted time at the start not paying for a decent solicitor. My 2nd solicitor was a lot better. I was forced to to pay £1800 because she filed for divorce against me and although the file was absolute lies and she had an affair I still paid her court costs/fees.

She proper blind sided me by being nice at the start but it was all just a game and it cost me

 

[Joey66]

Thanks, I’ll go with the advice on here and look for one first thing. See what legal help I can get.

Get th8e best you can !

 

[Joey66]

If you have a Mortgage stay in the house. My biggest mistake was moving out as she then had all the power and I got less than my share.

Don't agree to anything less than 50/50 childcare. That way she can't dictate when you see your children and poison them against you. Also because you won't be paying child Maintenance you can put that towards your rent/mortgage.

Take your money out of your bank account before she does. If her solicitor says you removed cash you just say you spent it on holidays and gambling. If you don't remove than money she will and you wont get a single penny back as its classed as joint money.

My divorce cost me about £9000 but I wasted time at the start not paying for a decent solicitor. My 2nd solicitor was a lot better. I was forced to to pay £1800 because she filed for divorce against me and although the file was absolute lies and she had an affair I still paid her court costs/fees.

She proper blind sided me by being nice at the start but it was all just a game and it cost me

Are you aware if she has a male friend his clothes or suitcases only have to be in your house for one week & he has rights to!

 

[Little Ralphy]

If you have a Mortgage stay in the house. My biggest mistake was moving out as she then had all the power and I got less than my share.

Don't agree to anything less than 50/50 childcare. That way she can't dictate when you see your children and poison them against you. Also because you won't be paying child Maintenance you can put that towards your rent/mortgage.

Take your money out of your bank account before she does. If her solicitor says you removed cash you just say you spent it on holidays and gambling. If you don't remove than money she will and you wont get a single penny back as its classed as joint money.

My divorce cost me about £9000 but I wasted time at the start not paying for a decent solicitor. My 2nd solicitor was a lot better. I was forced to to pay £1800 because she filed for divorce against me and although the file was absolute lies and she had an affair I still paid her court costs/fees.

She proper blind sided me by being nice at the start but it was all just a game and it cost me

Is that why everyone keeps saying don’t move out? She’s pushing me to move out all the time. We’re both named so not sure why it would affect it. But obviously does. I wouldn’t move out without the kids anyway.

Even with 50/50 apparently I still need to pay a decent amount a month. I looked that up and put all the figures in and it’s true.

Mad you had to pay her fees as well, that’s what she keeps saying to me, if I go to court I’ll have to pay her costs as well. £9k is a lot for that, I hope you came out of it better than without spending it.

 

[Little Ralphy]

Are you aware if she has a male friend his clothes or suitcases only have to be in your house for one week & he has rights to!

Good luck to him if she has.

 

[Lobworm]

Do not move out of the house under any circumstances, especially for 'trial separation', only when the divorce settlement is signed sealed and delivered.
Seek and pay for good legal advice asap.
Every case is judged on its individual merits.

 

[dave n]

Half your house and contents
Half your pension pot.
Half any other assets.
I've even heard it's 60/40 against the male.
Potential to spend thousands of pounds to get custody of kids,even if she messed about.
And still lose...or win.

I would say the 60/40 was about right during my divorce.

 

[Joey66]

Good luck to him if she has.

Yes but that's why legally you Nedd the best solicitor 9 grand could save you 30 grand in the future

 

[Joey66]

Is that why everyone keeps saying don’t move out? She’s pushing me to move out all the time. We’re both named so not sure why it would affect it. But obviously does. I wouldn’t move out without the kids anyway.

Even with 50/50 apparently I still need to pay a decent amount a month. I looked that up and put all the figures in and it’s true.

Mad you had to pay her fees as well, that’s what she keeps saying to me, if I go to court I’ll have to pay her costs as well. £9k is a lot for that, I hope you came out of it better than without spending it.

It's half your house tell her that straight see you in court....or suggest marriage councillors get proof you suggested that ,

 

[Goat]

Please ignore everything Joey is saying.

 

[dave n]

Is that why everyone keeps saying don’t move out? She’s pushing me to move out all the time. We’re both named so not sure why it would affect it. But obviously does. I wouldn’t move out without the kids anyway.

Even with 50/50 apparently I still need to pay a decent amount a month. I looked that up and put all the figures in and it’s true.

Mad you had to pay her fees as well, that’s what she keeps saying to me, if I go to court I’ll have to pay her costs as well. £9k is a lot for that, I hope you came out of it better than without spending it.

If she is pushing you to move out she has someone giving her advice.

Once you move out she will change the locks. If you then say I'm moving back in she can file for an order saying you are a danger to her . Even the threat of the order means you wont enter the house because it could also affect access to your children.

If she is the main carer like my ex was she could use that against you during negotiations. That way she will get a higher percentage of the equity in the house.

Also once you move out she will drag the divorce for as long as possible knowing eventually you will settle for less money as you will be in temporary accommodation.

Every bit of contact /communication your solicitor has costs money and it soon adds up.

Look the 50/50 childcare up again because my understanding was you pay when there with you. She pays when the kids are with her.