That had to be one of the funniest things ever.
This review on Amazon had me in stitches....
5.0 out of 5 starsWe go again,,,Brenny and the Warriors
By
Juan Kerron 22 July 2014
Format: Kindle Edition
We go again...Brenny and the warriors
"I can remember it like it was yesterday. There had been a tremendous build up in the weeks before. Brenny and Stevie G had decided it would be a good idea for the warriors to arrive for the last home games in a team bus. They were receiving a tremendous reception at each triumphal procession, all the followers in full kit with their scarves and Norwegian flags (five times, five times) welcoming them. The premier league winners 13/14 T- shirts were even outselling the `five times' ones. I knew all this because I had been following it on sky sports with Carra and Tommo.
There is a bitter and his missus who live in the flat next to Mums. He has been very quiet the last few weeks, but giving me a strange looking smile when I see him. Of course every other weekend he is at the match with the other bitters, so leaving me in peace enjoying sky sports every weekend. Sometimes I try to listen to him and his missus through the wall, but have to be careful in case Mum catches me.
Anyway, the big weekend arrived. I had been looking forward to it all week, could not sleep. Had to make sure I did all the jobs Mum asked me to do, so she would wash my full kit and scarf ready for the big game. Some of my online friends say at forty years of age I should have my own place, but Mum only asks for a tenner of my incapacity benefit each week to cover everything.
The big day finally arrived. Was up early as I could not sleep. Managed to listen in to next door, good job I hadn't put my shorts on but will need to hide my pyjama bottoms from Mum.
Put sky sports on for the build-up. Just after lunch I put my full kit on, even shin pads and boots. Both scarves ready, kissed the badge five times. On sky sports there was Carra, Tommo, Lawro, Hanno. They then kept showing interviews with Brenny and Stevie G, who had come up with another great idea. They said that the warriors were going to do it for the '96 in the sky'. I turned over when they showed Morrinio.
At last, the warriors emerged from the tunnel. Not sure why, but I always get a strange sensation in my shorts. Spoke to Mum about it, but she just said I would grow out of it. The Sky cameras then zoomed in on some of the old warriors in the crowd. I spotted King Kenny, Rushie, Aldo, Barnso, Hanno, Lawro. Mr Henry was also there to watch his EPL British soccer franchise.
The game kicked off, and Chelski were not interested. We were murdering them (don't mention Heysel), but could not score. Stevie G was brilliant; he had given a rousing speech at the last game, telling everyone that this does not slip now. Some time in the second half, I am sure someone fouled Stevie G, and he slipped up, with Ba getting the ball and scoring. Stevie G must have been fouled as it is never his fault, but sky would not show the proper replay to prove it. Anyway, I felt sure Brenny would sort things out. I could not believe it when they scored again, clearly offside. Everyone is against us; we have not even had a penalty for at least three games.
I screamed and banged my head against the wall. Mum shouted up to me to stop it, saying it always seems to end like this every year. She is wrong because she usually threatens to not buy me the new full kit for Christmas when I scream and cry, and this season it is much later!
Anyway, I kissed my badge again five times and wiped away the tears. Brenny came on to be interviewed by sky. He said we have to believe, and will put ten past Palace next game.
We were 3-0 up and heading for 10, I had messed the front of my shorts again without realising it. Mum will kill me. The next thing, it was 3-3. Louis and Stevie G were crying, Brennies bottom lip was going. I am sure I heard laughing from the bitter next door.
Anyway, next year will be our year. As long as the refs are fair with us, they only gave us 14 penalties last season.
Five times, five times."
`Full Kit' Juan Kerr
*cap doffed lol*