Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
It's how she wanted to go. Wrestling with seamen until she drowned.
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Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
- Thread starter The Penalty Box Dancer
- Start date
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
AFC Fylde vs Luton Town
13th August 2039
Three defeats on the run for Fylde and a tough game against Luton didn't make the task of ending the run any easier. Sam Pride was struggling with a tight hamstring after playing in the League Cup a few days earlier so Milby and Johnson were in midfield with Tommy Smyth playing in his favoured position behind Grant Thomas. 16 minutes into the match and Craddock played a good ball to Thomas who done well to hold up the ball, turn, and take a shot on his left which beat the keeper and hit the post. Fylde were moving up the pitch well but just lacked that cutting edge in attack. Jordan won the ball back in defence and passed forward to Grant Thomas, he played it wide to Bellairs who done well to keep it in, get down the line and cross to the near post to find the tap in from Thomas! 1-0 to Fylde on 60 minutes! It was a familiar story for Fylde and just minutes later they were caught napping at the back when Wright found the bottom right corner too easily from the edge of the box. Stuart Greene was on for Tommy Smyth to try something different in the final third. Jay Preece took the corner for Fylde and Thomas was held back by Martin, the referee awarded Fylde the penalty! Grant Thomas is good from the spot and he found the back of the net with a helping hand from the keeper! Fylde were doing well to hold their lead but there was a coming together between Barrett and Breacker and the keeper hoofed it clear at the last second. Fylde took their time in stoppage time and slowed the game down enough to get back to winning ways!
EH: It wasn't an easy victory but it was an improvement. We are looking a bit light in midfield and we have been trying to bring in a midfielder but so far nothing has come up. We will see what our options are and whether we can get a late loan deal.
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Brentford
16th August 2039
Brentford travelled up North on a warm Tuesday evening as they looked to set out their credentials early in the season. Henderson named the same starting XI that beat Luton a few days earlier. The game was off to a fast start and was end to end in the opening minutes. The tempo was fast and it wasn't long until there was a goal. Johnson pumped the deep free-kick into the box, Craddock timed his run to perfection and slotted at the post to make it 1-0 on 9 minutes! Craddock bombed forward through the middle a few minutes later and laid it off for Bellairs to smash home making it two! Bellairs almost had another when Craddock found him again and his volley was well held by the keeper. Barrett done well in defence to block the shot from Clancy at close range. It's a great first half for Fylde as they go in at the break with a well deserved lead. Things changed within seconds and Bentlley's cross to March who hit it first time with a rising shot beat Breacker to pull a goal back, great finish. Tommy Smyth seemed to still be finding his feet in English football and the fans thought he had a decent game when he was brought off for fellow youngster Warren Hodge with 25 minutes to go. Brentford had a free kick with 20 minutes to go and Wade's low cross fooled everyone and March had a simple tap in to level. David Hill came on for Grant Thomas for the last ten minutes, the crowd roared as the 18 year old entered the game. Inside stoppage time and Milby played a great ball over the top for Bellairs who took it down and struck at a tight angle but won a corner. Preece took the corner and Bellairs headed towards goal but it was saved, Hodge went in for the follow up and it was hoofed clear in time. It's been a great game between two competitive sides in the division. Fylde were flawless in the first half but Brentford showed some grit to get the game level in the second.
PLAYER RATINGS
Coventry City vs AFC Fylde
20th August 2039
Coventry were back in League One after a three year absence but were still waiting for their first win of the season. Stuart Greene came into the fold for the only change from Brentford. Questions were raised over Vince Bytheway's recent exclusion from the first team but Henderson was sketchy with the media over his availability. Milby gave the ball away in midfield on 30 minutes and Dixon was away for Coventry, Venilson received the pass out on the left and Preece was there to win the ball back in defence. Henry showed too much of the ball to Hakeem and he won it passing it forward to Bellairs, he put a nice dink into the box for Thomas and his shot was pushed away. Fylde were dominant but Coventry were doing everything they could to hang on. Jason Henry got a ball across the box which was missed by Hakeem and Jordan and Venison was there to put it away to give the home team the lead. Johnson passed to Milby and he found Greene on the edge of the box and his first time shot hit the outside of the post. Milby found Greene again and the space opened up for him but he put the ball into orbit. Warren Hodge came on for Fylde replacing Stuart Greene with just over 20 minutes to go. It was still all Fylde but it was a great defensive display by Coventry. Time was running out and Fylde had to thor everything they could at it. Tommy Smyth came on replacing Milby. Bellairs took the ball from Hakeem's throw inside the box and passed to Thomas who had to come back to Smyth he tried the shot and it wa saved low down by the keeper. Hodge got it wide to Craddock on 91 minutes, he passed to Johnson on the edge of the box who laid it on for Smyth to strike and he hit the post. It's not going right for Fylde today. Coventry ran the clock down as much as they could before the referee intervened. It's a frustrating afternoon for Fylde but Coventry have recorded their first league win and move up the table. Fylde are down in 16th and The Coasters are having a poor start to the campaign with three defeats in their opening six games.
EH: It's not time for panic, we are only six games into the season and the table will be different throughout. We know the areas we need to strengthen and how we need to improve. I'm not worried, we have one of the best squads in this league and players who are massively talented. Ask me the same question in a few months time.
PLAYER RATINGS
13th August 2039
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Three defeats on the run for Fylde and a tough game against Luton didn't make the task of ending the run any easier. Sam Pride was struggling with a tight hamstring after playing in the League Cup a few days earlier so Milby and Johnson were in midfield with Tommy Smyth playing in his favoured position behind Grant Thomas. 16 minutes into the match and Craddock played a good ball to Thomas who done well to hold up the ball, turn, and take a shot on his left which beat the keeper and hit the post. Fylde were moving up the pitch well but just lacked that cutting edge in attack. Jordan won the ball back in defence and passed forward to Grant Thomas, he played it wide to Bellairs who done well to keep it in, get down the line and cross to the near post to find the tap in from Thomas! 1-0 to Fylde on 60 minutes! It was a familiar story for Fylde and just minutes later they were caught napping at the back when Wright found the bottom right corner too easily from the edge of the box. Stuart Greene was on for Tommy Smyth to try something different in the final third. Jay Preece took the corner for Fylde and Thomas was held back by Martin, the referee awarded Fylde the penalty! Grant Thomas is good from the spot and he found the back of the net with a helping hand from the keeper! Fylde were doing well to hold their lead but there was a coming together between Barrett and Breacker and the keeper hoofed it clear at the last second. Fylde took their time in stoppage time and slowed the game down enough to get back to winning ways!
EH: It wasn't an easy victory but it was an improvement. We are looking a bit light in midfield and we have been trying to bring in a midfielder but so far nothing has come up. We will see what our options are and whether we can get a late loan deal.
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Brentford
16th August 2039
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Brentford travelled up North on a warm Tuesday evening as they looked to set out their credentials early in the season. Henderson named the same starting XI that beat Luton a few days earlier. The game was off to a fast start and was end to end in the opening minutes. The tempo was fast and it wasn't long until there was a goal. Johnson pumped the deep free-kick into the box, Craddock timed his run to perfection and slotted at the post to make it 1-0 on 9 minutes! Craddock bombed forward through the middle a few minutes later and laid it off for Bellairs to smash home making it two! Bellairs almost had another when Craddock found him again and his volley was well held by the keeper. Barrett done well in defence to block the shot from Clancy at close range. It's a great first half for Fylde as they go in at the break with a well deserved lead. Things changed within seconds and Bentlley's cross to March who hit it first time with a rising shot beat Breacker to pull a goal back, great finish. Tommy Smyth seemed to still be finding his feet in English football and the fans thought he had a decent game when he was brought off for fellow youngster Warren Hodge with 25 minutes to go. Brentford had a free kick with 20 minutes to go and Wade's low cross fooled everyone and March had a simple tap in to level. David Hill came on for Grant Thomas for the last ten minutes, the crowd roared as the 18 year old entered the game. Inside stoppage time and Milby played a great ball over the top for Bellairs who took it down and struck at a tight angle but won a corner. Preece took the corner and Bellairs headed towards goal but it was saved, Hodge went in for the follow up and it was hoofed clear in time. It's been a great game between two competitive sides in the division. Fylde were flawless in the first half but Brentford showed some grit to get the game level in the second.
PLAYER RATINGS
Coventry City vs AFC Fylde
20th August 2039
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Coventry were back in League One after a three year absence but were still waiting for their first win of the season. Stuart Greene came into the fold for the only change from Brentford. Questions were raised over Vince Bytheway's recent exclusion from the first team but Henderson was sketchy with the media over his availability. Milby gave the ball away in midfield on 30 minutes and Dixon was away for Coventry, Venilson received the pass out on the left and Preece was there to win the ball back in defence. Henry showed too much of the ball to Hakeem and he won it passing it forward to Bellairs, he put a nice dink into the box for Thomas and his shot was pushed away. Fylde were dominant but Coventry were doing everything they could to hang on. Jason Henry got a ball across the box which was missed by Hakeem and Jordan and Venison was there to put it away to give the home team the lead. Johnson passed to Milby and he found Greene on the edge of the box and his first time shot hit the outside of the post. Milby found Greene again and the space opened up for him but he put the ball into orbit. Warren Hodge came on for Fylde replacing Stuart Greene with just over 20 minutes to go. It was still all Fylde but it was a great defensive display by Coventry. Time was running out and Fylde had to thor everything they could at it. Tommy Smyth came on replacing Milby. Bellairs took the ball from Hakeem's throw inside the box and passed to Thomas who had to come back to Smyth he tried the shot and it wa saved low down by the keeper. Hodge got it wide to Craddock on 91 minutes, he passed to Johnson on the edge of the box who laid it on for Smyth to strike and he hit the post. It's not going right for Fylde today. Coventry ran the clock down as much as they could before the referee intervened. It's a frustrating afternoon for Fylde but Coventry have recorded their first league win and move up the table. Fylde are down in 16th and The Coasters are having a poor start to the campaign with three defeats in their opening six games.
EH: It's not time for panic, we are only six games into the season and the table will be different throughout. We know the areas we need to strengthen and how we need to improve. I'm not worried, we have one of the best squads in this league and players who are massively talented. Ask me the same question in a few months time.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
JONATHAN CURRIE JOINS FYLDE ON LOAN!
EH: We've got Currie just in time for Plymouth. It's a huge signing for us and fixes our midfield problem. He can also play as a Striker too and will be an option there. He's 18 and Spurs have no first team plans for him this season so it makes perfect sense for us to take him. He is exactly what we need in the middle.
Be nice if we could pair Currie with his long time midfield partner Rice. Surely there's an attacking mid called Chips who we can bring in to create the perfect midfield.
I think they've brought Currie in to run right through the opposition midfield. The centre of the field is going to be an absolute mess, i feel sorry for the groundstaff.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
AFC Fylde vs Plymouth Argyle
27th August 2039
New signing Jonathan Currie was in midfield alongside Francis Johnson for the visit of Plymouth. Tommy Smyth got the nod in no. 10 role behind Grant Thomas. Just when you thought Fylde would put in a better display, Robbie Jeffries came out on top against Jordan and made it 1-0 to Plymouth after 40 seconds! Currie won the ball back on 2 minutes, played it wide to Craddock who dribbled forward and crossed into the six yard box for Thomas to knock home, 1-1! Jay Preece's corner on 37 minutes was met with a powerful header from Thomas and it was just wide of the post. The second half started well for Fylde, Smyth played a great ball wide for Preece and his cross found Thomas who headed wide again. Craddock took the ball on the right and passed forward to Thomas down the wing, he looked up and found the run of Johnson arriving towards the penalty area and he took it well on his left foot and struck it low beating the keeper! 2-1 to Fylde! Currie was having a good debut and was everything they missed in midfield, he passed to Bellairs on the left and Bellairs tried a hopeful ball into the area which was brought down nicely by Thomas but it looked like he was going to overrun it, it got to the byline and from a tight angle he chipped the keeper to make it 3! Thomas gets his 7th goal of the season! Bellairs took the ball down the left and switched the play to Thomas who played in Craddock, he got into the box and slotted from close range to win it for Fylde making it 4-1!
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Nottingham Forest U23
EFL Trophy
30th August 2039
Henderson made changes from the team that beat Plymouth a few days earlier. Dale Alexander was away with Scotland U21's, Tommy Smyth was with Northern Ireland U21's and Jonathan Currie was with England U19's. Stuart Greene was recovering from an ankle injury so Warren Hodge was given a start in Attacking Midfield. Vince Bytheway was back in the team after an unexplained absence playing on the right with support from Justin Brooks. Aiden Butts made his Fylde debut in goal. Stewart Milby and Sam Pride were in the middle and David Hill started as the sole Striker. Bytheway played the ball down the right for Hill and he crossed into the box, the ball was cleared and Milby picked it up and came forward, he took the shot on his right foot curling into the bottom corner on 8 minutes! A good chance went begging when Pride played it wide to Hakeem and he found Bytheway's head inside the box which went over the bar. Hakeem got inside the box on 30 minutes and chipped it towards Hill and his header was pushed clear by the keeper, Hakeem picked it back up on the byline and played it back to Milby who struck low into the bottom right corner, 2-0! Milby played it wide to Hakeem on 35 minuted and he crossed low for Hill who was brought down in the area and the penalty was given! Milby wanted it to try and complete his hattrick. Milby found the bottom corner and sealed his hattrick! What a first half for Stewart Milby! Forest pulled one back on 48 minutes when Dent put the corner into the box, Jordan cleared off the line and Latham-Bird drilled it into the back of the net. With less than 30 minutes on the clock, Pride passed the ball to Bytheway who, out of nowhere hit a right footed screamer that flew into the top corner! The veteran just stoof there holding his arms aloft! Henderson has got the team scoring goals but also conceding when a few minutes later Josh Dent capitalised on Aiden Butts' poor clearance and got Forest's second. Henderson took Sean Jordan off and put 16 year old Elliot Richardson in defence. Brooks passed the ball forward to Hodge, he went for goal but it was charged down by Robertson, Bytheway followed it up and Dunne made a fantastic fingertip save to deny him. Jake Thompson came on for Sam Pride in midfield and Fylde saw the rest of the game out recording a decent victory over Nottingham Forest U23's.
PLAYER RATINGS
Rotherham United vs AFC Fylde
3rd September 2039
Bellairs, Greene, Craddock and Thomas were back in the first team however Johnson, Smyth, Alexander and Currie were still away on International duty. Rotherham were second from bottom with only one win in their first seven games Fylde made a great start and on 5 minutes Sam Pride took a shot from the edge of the box that hit the face of the post, Craddock reacted first and tapped it over the line! His 5th of the season! Rayson-Randle ran forward with the ball from midfield and had the beating of Preece who couldn't keep up, Pride was there to help and won the ball with a sliding tackle inside the box, the referee pointed to the spot! What a bizarre decision! Did Pride go in with his studs up? It's hard to see what was wrong with it from the replay. Hawkins took the penalty and Breacker palmed it away! Justice had been served! Fylde had a free-kick in a dangerous position and Jay Preece fancied it on his right foot, he got it over the wall and it hit the outside of the post, unlucky. Ollie Bellairs went close just before the break when he almost converted Thomas's cross but it was kept out only just by the keeper. Fylde needed that second goal as the midfield was looking a bit fatigued out there. Warren Hodge was given 35 minutes to show what he can do when he replaced Stuart Greene. Jay Preece had a free-kick on the corner of the penalty area, he played it short to Ollie Bellairs who struck it towards the top left corner! What a fantastic drive! Bellairs with a rocket! Preece passed to Craddock on 91 minutes and gave it back to Preece, he sent the ball in low and Bellairs went in and hit the post, it came back out and he tucked it away! Rotherham cannot deal with him! That was his 5th of the season! Bellairs was enjoying himself and played a nice through ball for Thomas to make it four but he put it slightly wide. What a great victory for Fylde! They are starting to look dangerous in all areas of the field. Bellairs showed why he was signed by Fylde and was doing everything he had done for Ipswich last season.
EH: The goals are coming and I told the journalists to watch out! We had a few shaky results but we look so much better on the ball. We've scored 11 goals in our last 3 games. There are players who can get us goals all over the pitch and we are just getting into our stride. The referee made a mistake today over the penalty incident, we can see clearly the ball was won by Sam Pride and that could have changed the outcome of the whole game.
PLAYER RATINGS
27th August 2039
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New signing Jonathan Currie was in midfield alongside Francis Johnson for the visit of Plymouth. Tommy Smyth got the nod in no. 10 role behind Grant Thomas. Just when you thought Fylde would put in a better display, Robbie Jeffries came out on top against Jordan and made it 1-0 to Plymouth after 40 seconds! Currie won the ball back on 2 minutes, played it wide to Craddock who dribbled forward and crossed into the six yard box for Thomas to knock home, 1-1! Jay Preece's corner on 37 minutes was met with a powerful header from Thomas and it was just wide of the post. The second half started well for Fylde, Smyth played a great ball wide for Preece and his cross found Thomas who headed wide again. Craddock took the ball on the right and passed forward to Thomas down the wing, he looked up and found the run of Johnson arriving towards the penalty area and he took it well on his left foot and struck it low beating the keeper! 2-1 to Fylde! Currie was having a good debut and was everything they missed in midfield, he passed to Bellairs on the left and Bellairs tried a hopeful ball into the area which was brought down nicely by Thomas but it looked like he was going to overrun it, it got to the byline and from a tight angle he chipped the keeper to make it 3! Thomas gets his 7th goal of the season! Bellairs took the ball down the left and switched the play to Thomas who played in Craddock, he got into the box and slotted from close range to win it for Fylde making it 4-1!
PLAYER RATINGS
AFC Fylde vs Nottingham Forest U23
EFL Trophy
30th August 2039
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Henderson made changes from the team that beat Plymouth a few days earlier. Dale Alexander was away with Scotland U21's, Tommy Smyth was with Northern Ireland U21's and Jonathan Currie was with England U19's. Stuart Greene was recovering from an ankle injury so Warren Hodge was given a start in Attacking Midfield. Vince Bytheway was back in the team after an unexplained absence playing on the right with support from Justin Brooks. Aiden Butts made his Fylde debut in goal. Stewart Milby and Sam Pride were in the middle and David Hill started as the sole Striker. Bytheway played the ball down the right for Hill and he crossed into the box, the ball was cleared and Milby picked it up and came forward, he took the shot on his right foot curling into the bottom corner on 8 minutes! A good chance went begging when Pride played it wide to Hakeem and he found Bytheway's head inside the box which went over the bar. Hakeem got inside the box on 30 minutes and chipped it towards Hill and his header was pushed clear by the keeper, Hakeem picked it back up on the byline and played it back to Milby who struck low into the bottom right corner, 2-0! Milby played it wide to Hakeem on 35 minuted and he crossed low for Hill who was brought down in the area and the penalty was given! Milby wanted it to try and complete his hattrick. Milby found the bottom corner and sealed his hattrick! What a first half for Stewart Milby! Forest pulled one back on 48 minutes when Dent put the corner into the box, Jordan cleared off the line and Latham-Bird drilled it into the back of the net. With less than 30 minutes on the clock, Pride passed the ball to Bytheway who, out of nowhere hit a right footed screamer that flew into the top corner! The veteran just stoof there holding his arms aloft! Henderson has got the team scoring goals but also conceding when a few minutes later Josh Dent capitalised on Aiden Butts' poor clearance and got Forest's second. Henderson took Sean Jordan off and put 16 year old Elliot Richardson in defence. Brooks passed the ball forward to Hodge, he went for goal but it was charged down by Robertson, Bytheway followed it up and Dunne made a fantastic fingertip save to deny him. Jake Thompson came on for Sam Pride in midfield and Fylde saw the rest of the game out recording a decent victory over Nottingham Forest U23's.
PLAYER RATINGS
Rotherham United vs AFC Fylde
3rd September 2039
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Bellairs, Greene, Craddock and Thomas were back in the first team however Johnson, Smyth, Alexander and Currie were still away on International duty. Rotherham were second from bottom with only one win in their first seven games Fylde made a great start and on 5 minutes Sam Pride took a shot from the edge of the box that hit the face of the post, Craddock reacted first and tapped it over the line! His 5th of the season! Rayson-Randle ran forward with the ball from midfield and had the beating of Preece who couldn't keep up, Pride was there to help and won the ball with a sliding tackle inside the box, the referee pointed to the spot! What a bizarre decision! Did Pride go in with his studs up? It's hard to see what was wrong with it from the replay. Hawkins took the penalty and Breacker palmed it away! Justice had been served! Fylde had a free-kick in a dangerous position and Jay Preece fancied it on his right foot, he got it over the wall and it hit the outside of the post, unlucky. Ollie Bellairs went close just before the break when he almost converted Thomas's cross but it was kept out only just by the keeper. Fylde needed that second goal as the midfield was looking a bit fatigued out there. Warren Hodge was given 35 minutes to show what he can do when he replaced Stuart Greene. Jay Preece had a free-kick on the corner of the penalty area, he played it short to Ollie Bellairs who struck it towards the top left corner! What a fantastic drive! Bellairs with a rocket! Preece passed to Craddock on 91 minutes and gave it back to Preece, he sent the ball in low and Bellairs went in and hit the post, it came back out and he tucked it away! Rotherham cannot deal with him! That was his 5th of the season! Bellairs was enjoying himself and played a nice through ball for Thomas to make it four but he put it slightly wide. What a great victory for Fylde! They are starting to look dangerous in all areas of the field. Bellairs showed why he was signed by Fylde and was doing everything he had done for Ipswich last season.
EH: The goals are coming and I told the journalists to watch out! We had a few shaky results but we look so much better on the ball. We've scored 11 goals in our last 3 games. There are players who can get us goals all over the pitch and we are just getting into our stride. The referee made a mistake today over the penalty incident, we can see clearly the ball was won by Sam Pride and that could have changed the outcome of the whole game.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
Here's comes the march to the top and then Crimbo comes and we turn to plop!
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
As sure as night follows day macca.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
I thought you could detect the whiff of old Fanny about him.
If the last 43 seasons are anything to go by you may be correct macca.
Its a good job we decided to cryogenically freeze ourselves for 30 years just before this thread started when we decided to become Coasters fans!!
It's 2039 and I'm suddenly 58 years of age, getting too old for scrapping with opposition fans every single weekend
Never too old to be chucking harpoons into the home end for giggles, then waiting until the end of the match, see what cars are left in the car park and knowing the ones left are from some poor sod who's got a harpoon going through his shoulder blade. Get the car, take it for a spin and sell it to Al"s auto parts for scrap money and grab a Curry on the way home
Result!