Zatara
Player Valuation: £100m
I'm simply 'ahead of the game'...
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Getting off a toilet seat
- Thread starter Ashtonian
- Start date
- Status
I'm simply 'ahead of the game'...
Whistlin' Dixie
Player Valuation: £50m
Bet this fella had no problem getting off the bog seat. 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251
Spider bites Australian man on penis again
A 21-year-old Australian tradesman has been bitten by a venomous spider on the penis for a second time.
The man was using a portable toilet on a Sydney building site on Tuesday, when he suffered a repeat of the incident five months ago.
Jordan, who preferred not to reveal his surname, said he was bitten on "pretty much the same spot" by the spider.
"I'm the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment," he told the BBC.
"I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time.
"I was like 'I can't believe it's happened again.' I looked down and I've seen a few little legs come from around the rim."
He said that being bitten the first time had made him wary of using portable toilets.
"After the first time it happened I didn't really want to use one again," he said.
"Toilets got cleaned that day and I thought it was my opportunity to go use one. Had a look under both seats and then I sat down did my business. Next thing you know, I'm bent over in pain."
'I'll be holding on'
The tradesman said he was not sure what type of spider bit him this time.
One of his colleagues took him from the worksite in north-west Sydney to Blacktown Hospital - although many of his workmates were quick to see the lighter side of the situation.
"They got worried the first time," he said.
"This time they were making jokes before I was getting in the car."
The hospital declined to discuss the matter, citing patient privacy.
Jordan was released from hospital and said he expected to return to work soon but was unlikely to be using the on-site toilet.
"I think I'll be holding on for dear life to be honest," he said.
The redback spider, closely related to the black widow spider, is distinguished by a long red stripe on its abdomen.
Its bite causes severe pain, sweating and nausea.
Although there are recorded cases of deaths from redback bites, none have occurred since the development of antivenom in 1956.
For the second time, eh?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251
Spider bites Australian man on penis again
A 21-year-old Australian tradesman has been bitten by a venomous spider on the penis for a second time.
The man was using a portable toilet on a Sydney building site on Tuesday, when he suffered a repeat of the incident five months ago.
Jordan, who preferred not to reveal his surname, said he was bitten on "pretty much the same spot" by the spider.
"I'm the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment," he told the BBC.
"I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time.
"I was like 'I can't believe it's happened again.' I looked down and I've seen a few little legs come from around the rim."
He said that being bitten the first time had made him wary of using portable toilets.
"After the first time it happened I didn't really want to use one again," he said.
"Toilets got cleaned that day and I thought it was my opportunity to go use one. Had a look under both seats and then I sat down did my business. Next thing you know, I'm bent over in pain."
'I'll be holding on'
The tradesman said he was not sure what type of spider bit him this time.
One of his colleagues took him from the worksite in north-west Sydney to Blacktown Hospital - although many of his workmates were quick to see the lighter side of the situation.
"They got worried the first time," he said.
"This time they were making jokes before I was getting in the car."
The hospital declined to discuss the matter, citing patient privacy.
Jordan was released from hospital and said he expected to return to work soon but was unlikely to be using the on-site toilet.
"I think I'll be holding on for dear life to be honest," he said.
The redback spider, closely related to the black widow spider, is distinguished by a long red stripe on its abdomen.
Its bite causes severe pain, sweating and nausea.
Although there are recorded cases of deaths from redback bites, none have occurred since the development of antivenom in 1956.
For the second time, eh?
Armel
Player Valuation: £15m
Object sexuality; fetish focused on particular inanimate objects. Some also attribute a gender to these things. Like in the documentary, the beetle is a woman and such. I find this documentary to be hilarious; warning though it contains exhausts and graphic displays of puddles of certain body fluids. The reconstructions are also hilarious, as is the narrator "For George's lover was the family car"
.
Similar model in use a while back...
and three in a row
anton66
Player Valuation: £50m
Don't go to B&Q, there's always a massive queue for Long Weights
The Cowboy
Player Valuation: £60m
Go home Ash, you're drunk.
Ashtonian
Banned on request
completely true!
Same as you technically should squat not sit on a toilet, again our genetics are better suited for that.
The Cowboy
Player Valuation: £60m
Bold words from a man who destroyed his toilet seat.
Frankly, I have absolutely no problem pooing and have never contemplated the utterly ludicrous idea of hugging the cistern in an attempt to achieve peak defecation.
Ashtonian
Banned on request
haha i never broke it. Was half broken when we moved in and then came away some point over the past 12 months. i wasn't aware until i was cleaning the thing and it came away the other week.
Foot Long Hot Dog
Player Valuation: A packet of pork scratchings
Ashtonian
Banned on request
was he a fountain of random facts also?
Foot Long Hot Dog
Player Valuation: A packet of pork scratchings
Gladystweet
Player Valuation: £50m
Ashtonian
Banned on request
his infamy will live on lolIndeed mate, and a classic story teller.
He's sorely missed God rest his soul
what got him banned then?
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