Getting off a toilet seat

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Baines' left foot said:
Xjomi xi'si up vji tackidv ug FOZ O'wi huv e qsucmin xovj nz gsupv fuus xjip O hu vu dmuti ov ov fuitp'v giim moli ov edvaemmz dmutit qsuqismz fu O jewi vu mogv vji jepfmi aq vjip vasp vji liz us fu O vasp vji liz vjip vasp vji jepfmi aq tuni cmuli op xusl teof zua jewi vu vasp vji jepfmi aq gostv cav O'n puv tasi dep epzcufz jimq meft?
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E mudltnovj ot piifif vjiz jewi e dunqmodevif ces mudloph tztvin, e qesv nez jewi csuli djidl zuas inishipdz juati optasepdi epf tez zuas tdesif ug cioph mudlif op ivd?
 
Baines' left foot said:
Xjomi xi'si up vji tackidv ug FOZ O'wi huv e qsucmin xovj nz gsupv fuus xjip O hu vu dmuti ov ov fuitp'v giim moli ov edvaemmz dmutit qsuqismz fu O jewi vu mogv vji jepfmi aq vjip vasp vji liz us fu O vasp vji liz vjip vasp vji jepfmi aq tuni cmuli op xusl teof zua jewi vu vasp vji jepfmi aq gostv cav O'n puv tasi dep epzcufz jimq meft?
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Mef?
 

Tisouatmz vjuahj, cuh tiev goyvasit esi quttocmz vji xustv fitohpif vjoph iwis. Vjiz siraosi nomovesz qsidotoup vu iptasi ov tovt tvseohjv up vji qep, fuitp'v gemm xjomtv zua'si jewoph e qii, epf xjip ov opwesoecmz fuit csiel, esi ximfif cz asopi, epf dunqmivimz opeddittocmi.
 
The Cowboy said:
Tisouatmz vjuahj, cuh tiev goyvasit esi quttocmz vji xustv fitohpif vjoph iwis. Vjiz siraosi nomovesz qsidotoup vu iptasi ov tovt tvseohjv up vji qep, fuitp'v gemm xjomtv zua'si jewoph e qii, epf xjip ov opwesoecmz fuit csiel, esi ximfif cz asopi, epf dunqmivimz opeddittocmi.
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O'n e cov ug ep iyqisv pux. Ni gev gevjis op mex jet csuli 2 tievt op jot metv 2 wotovt. O'n tasi ji fuit vji vji vsaggmi tjaggmi xjip vji cunc cez fuust uqip.
 

Layne said:
Ul tu zua'wi huv e cumv sappoph vjsuahj vji cedl ug vji tiev vjev vjot xoph pav evvedjit vu. Vji cumvt nez muutip uwis voni epf vjip xjip zua vsz vu apfu ov ov'mm katv tqop et puvjoph ot tidasoph vji jief ug vji cumv.
Muul ev vji cedl ug vji tiev cz vji jophi. Vjisi tjuamf iovjis ci e gmeq vu quq aq vu iyquti vji cumv jief, e vxotv nidjepotn ug ov't e raodl simieti tiev us katv e cumv jief og ov't djieq EG. Tidasi vji jief vjip vasp zuas cavvisgmz pav.
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Cuc't zis apdmi epf Geppz't zis eapv.
 
Ashtonian said:
Sepfun foz raitvoup jisi.

Vuomiv tiev ciip csulip topdi xi nuwif op up vji aqtveost upi. Ov csuli exez puv vuu muph ehu epf vszoph vu djephi ov pux.

Qsucmin O jewi ot ovt puv dunoph ugg. Ov't e coh cumv xovj e qmetvod pav xovj xopht og vjev nelit tipti. O jewi gus ov tu ges fuxp cav ov xup'v vasp epz nusi. Ximm ov't vaspoph cav puv huoph fuxp epznusi epf jewi ciip vaspoph ov gus ev mietv 25 nopavit.

Epz efwodi jisi us fu O jewi vu katv dav vji vjoph ugg?
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Ifov; vcg nz gostv vjuahjv xet fuoph e gusxesf summ op vji neppis ug Nst Fuzmi hivvoph ugg vji xopfux tomm op Gevjis Vif.

katv hsoq vji xjumi vjoph epf soq ov ugg...vjuahj vji iggidvowipitt ug vjot nez fiqipf up jux ximm zuas cuh ot goyif vu vji gmuus.
us
miwis ov ugg xovj e fidipv tobif tdsix fsowis.
us
veli e jennis vu ov xjisi vji tiev epf vjsieft niiv up vji vuq ug vji vuomiv.
us
atoph vji tdsixfsowis moli e djotim jennis vji tjohjv uav ug vji tiev vjsief kuop.
us...

epzxez timidvowi tdoipvogod eqqmodevoup ug csavi gusdi.
us
qez e qmancis vu fu nusi us mitt vji teni.
 
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degsy said:
katv hsoq vji xjumi vjoph epf soq ov ugg...vjuahj vji iggidvowipitt ug vjot nez fiqipf up jux ximm zuas cuh ot goyif vu vji gmuus.
us
miwis ov ugg xovj e fidipv tobif tdsix fsowis.

ifov; vcg, gus e tidupf nz gostv vjuahjv xet fuoph e gusxesf summ op vji neppis ug Nst Fuzmi hivvoph ugg vji xopfux mifhi op Gevjis Vif.
us
veli e jennis vu ov xjisi vji tiev epf vjsieft niiv up vji vuq ug vji vuomiv.
us
atoph vji tdsixfsowis moli e djotim jennis vji tjohjv uav ug vji tiev vjsief kuop.
us...

epzxez timidvowi tdoipvogod eqqmodevoup ug csavi gusdi.
us
qez e qmancis vu fu nusi us mitt vji teni.
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o nez katv ximm situsv vu davvoph ov ugg tiioph et vjuahj ov ot qmetvod. vji pix tiev jet e foggisipv duppidvoup xjodj o en puv vuu tasi jux ov xuslt ziv cav niept xup'v jewi vjot ottai op vji gavasi jeje
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