If you were appointed manager tonight

[tonyhorne]

Stop trying to play out from our own goal line ...

 

[bitter-no-better]

 

[tommye]

Organise a couple of friendlies against Ajax.

Worry about everything else when we get back from the Dam.

 

[mahermi1]

I'd probably resign..right away

 

[Toffeepot]

If Frank got the bullet and you were immediately installed as the new manager , what would you do ? Limited , clearly very limited funds so who do you try and bring in ? How do you try , your best to put a sticking plaster over the rift until seasons end both on and off the field and how do you line up at the weekend ?

This you Bill?

 

[Harryflashman]

This you Bill?

Given the last few performances More likely it’d be Frank looking for help ,however if I was calling everyone out for phantom acts of violence then maybe .

 

[Toffeepot]

Given the last few performances More likely it’d be Frank looking for help ,however if I was calling everyone out for phantom acts of violence then maybe .

well it starts with if frank is sacked, followed by how to sort the entire club out lol Definitey Bill buying yourself some time! Come on, own up

 

[tommye]

Honestly?


I'd take a couple of days stockpiling petrol and other combustibles and burn the whole thing down.
I've factored in a couple of board members as possible collateral.



See you all in 40 years when I get parole

 

[ClausThomsen]

Get a big gangly Argentine forward on loan who's never played outside Argentina. Preferably one whose name can be abbreviated to rhyme with a famous video game character.

 

[NathDogg]

Sign Mike Duff, Kim Kallstrom and Kennedy Bakirioglu for buttons.

Add Julius Aghahowa, Justin Georcelin and To Madeira for good measure.

Clearly you both have supreme judgement, experience and taste - add tonton zolo moukoko and Taribo west and we’re winning the lot!

 

[W84 Dum Freeze]

...replace that footbridge by the Titanic hotel...

 

[Muggins]

View attachment 201313

I like this, mow weird lines in the grass in our 18 yard box to make the oppositions shots a yard wide every time.

I’m guessing that’s a comet with ice falling from it, destroying the opposition.

I’m looking for an assistant as it happens.

 

[helpimonfire]

I would ban you lot ha ha

 

[Gwladysstreetlad]

This doesn't really work for me. Because if I became the manager tomorrow the first thing I'd do is resign and publically denounce the hierarchy running this club for the disgraceful lying, vandalising sacks of crap that they are while calling for them to step down.

That or just laugh hysterically for a few days knowing that I've just made millions and it won't matter what I do because I'm basically just a very well paid fall guy.

 

[Dixieslaces]

It’s a tough question as I’m not a football manager and have no qualifications.

I guess I’d spend as much time as I could with the players, get hands on at training, earn their respect, and get them to respect each other.

I get the feeling we have a group of professionals who don’t hate each other or the manager, but the closeness and group fight is just not there. I’d spend every minute I had trying to change that, and get them to buy into my thinking.

I’d tell them football is 11 v 11. Working together we can try and do anything to win, but it needs complete buy in, ie this is our chance to turn it around and be heroes! Making fans happy is a good feeling right!

I’d sit us all down in the centre circle at goodison lay back on the grass, and ask them to all contribute in a group discussion about where they think it’s all going wrong.

They wouldn’t be forthcoming initially, but with some encouragement a few more vocal players would speak, then it’ll all start coming out, then it’ll get tense etc. I’d “manage” that situation considering our current circumstances. I’d carefully monitor who’s speaking the most and who’s clearly afraid to speak, and find ways of getting them all talking, boosting individuals confidence. As soon as the group are laughing together, something has been achieved.

I’d then announce that we have found our middle ground, in the centre circle of Goodison park, our team home.

I’d tell them that davek on GOT says we are a few points from safety with half a season to play, and I agree. We control the formation, the tactics, our own destiny, shooting and shots, and our one single job regardless of the result is to play our hearts out for those fans who love us and don’t get paid the salaries we do.

I’d then take them out for dinner and pay myself. We most likely might end up on social media photos, but it would show what I’m really doing as the new boss. That will unsettle opponents as other teams players defo are on TikTok 24/7 with Multi’s the bad tits, and seeing something unexpected will throw them off. I’d also encourage my players to make jokes on behalf of the opposition. This would make them more self focused to beat the opposition as it was their idea right?

I’d then go through the lead up to match day giving press conferences saying things like, “Manager Muggins ‘understands’ there’s discontent at ${oppositionClubName}..”. Whether there is or not, is irrelevant as it’ll throw some doubt in the oppositions mind. “Look a squirrel” logic suggests non Everton fans will eat this up, as let’s face it stupid stuff happened at Everton and if you are not an Everton fan then no one actually really cares, it’s onto the next outrage for most.

Match day will be a festival of positive things for Everton FC. The shooting and shots the team decided on prioritising as a tactic has paid off, the fans are singing “spirit of the blues” in full without fear of needing to stop when the opposition press on to try and score.

Can someone else take over now please. I need to reheat my dinner.

Some real thought and effort went into that.

Now eat your dinner before it gets cold again.


When's part 2?