Mate of mine just had a call out to fix cat Stephens caravan
Awning has broken
Awning has broken
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Jokes Thread
- Thread starter toffeemax
- Start date
Like the first awning?
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
Fedupalready
SiEdmo
Player Valuation: £10m
i don't get this whats the joke?
that lent normally starts in feb?
or something to do with bruary sounding like bewery?
-Rob-
Player Valuation: £15m
I read the 'joke' as being you just combine dry & february and you have the name so waiting for someone else to name it is a poor excuse. Not much of a funny joke but it might tickle some. I never even thought of the lent thing but I don't think that would make it any funnier.
Alanbileysfeathercut
Player Valuation: £70m
A man who touches a woman's leg is guilty of massage a knee.
Alanbileysfeathercut
Player Valuation: £70m
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she wasstill a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days weregetting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted thefollowing inscription on her tombstone:
"Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin"
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. The undertaker, true tohis word, instructed his men to inscribe on the tombstone what thelady had requested. The men went to carve it, but as they were lazyand it was close to quitting time, they decided the inscription wasunnecessarily long. So they simply carved:
"Returned unopened."
"Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin"
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. The undertaker, true tohis word, instructed his men to inscribe on the tombstone what thelady had requested. The men went to carve it, but as they were lazyand it was close to quitting time, they decided the inscription wasunnecessarily long. So they simply carved:
"Returned unopened."
canuckblue
Player Valuation: £50m
Pinocchio (no, not the kopite one) pulls a girl at the pub and takes her home.
Next morning Gepetto asks how it went and Pinocchio said he was exhausted.
"All night long," he said, "it was: 'Lie to me! Tell the truth! Lie to me! Tell the truth!' "
Next morning Gepetto asks how it went and Pinocchio said he was exhausted.
"All night long," he said, "it was: 'Lie to me! Tell the truth! Lie to me! Tell the truth!' "
bluejohn66
Player Valuation: £15m
Carlo Ancelotti has demanded a replay against the red shy×e after it emerged 9 of their players have proved positive for Calpol.
chrismpw
Player Valuation: £70m
Too soon! Too soon!
But sadly true v our OAP midfield..……
carlos21
KING OF REP
How are you doing today buddy how are the bush fires doing.
Socrates
Player Valuation: £6m
Hiya mate.
I know a girl with a fiery bush but I don't know a lot about the bush fires.
I live in the UK mate.
Good to meet your acquaintance though.
carlos21
KING OF REP
Sorry about that mate no worries about that.