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Jokes Thread

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed. Then he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase...in time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"
 


DNA is an acronym for the national dyslexia association.

Goodnight.
My youngest daughter is a student and was having problems with exams, to cut a long story short she ended up being diagnosed as dyslexic which takes the form of having difficulty digesting and unraveling a question before being able to answer she now has slightly more exam time than usual.

I know we shouldn't laugh at things sometimes, but laughter is what makes the world go around and I can see the funny side in most things (which has probably got me into trouble over the years)
 
My youngest daughter is a student and was having problems with exams, to cut a long story short she ended up being diagnosed as dyslexic which takes the form of having difficulty digesting and unraveling a question before being able to answer she now has slightly more exam time than usual.

I know we shouldn't laugh at things sometimes, but laughter is what makes the world go around and I can see the funny side in most things (which has probably got me into trouble over the years)
Same here mate .
Laugh with people not at them.
Speaking of which ,still celebrating @Cork Evertonian ?
 
Albuquerque New Mexico, ca. 1975.

Bill Gates: "We need to have a snappy name that combines two words that all men fear"

Paul Allen: "How about NanoFlaccid?"

Bill Gates: "Naw..."

Paul Allen: "What about TinySupple?"

Bill Gates: "mmm...getting closer..."

Paul Allen: "MiniFlabby?"

Bill Gates: "sort of, but not..."

Paul Allen: "MicroSoft?"

Bill Gates: "Eureka!!...let's get that registered and make a bazillion dollars"
 

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