Most off your tits you've ever been

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Was made redundant years ago (on Friday 13th FS!), went for a few drinks in The Jolly Miller on the last day of said job, after drinking throughout the last day of the job, on the job (I was 19).

Little did I know, that I'd been working the previous 2 years with secret alcoholics - as you can imagine, 19 year old Grouchie baby tried to keep up, and I did a good job for a few hours (I'm not, or at least wasn't then, a lightweight) but was hammered beyond belief, absolutely wrecked.

They put me in a taxi, and the 'least alkie' of said alkies knew where I lived (Walton, not too far away) and he lived in Anfield so, literally I'm told, threw me out of a taxi on his way home. I was swiftly dispatched to bed by my mum and nan, who were then shocked as I walked, starkers, through the living room, on my way to the bog (small house, downstairs loo). On my way back to bed, after trying to do a handstand over the bog, I wrapped a towel around myself, but forgot to hold on to it,thereby revealing my modesty again.

I then sat, naked, halfway up the stairs, lights on, with everyone passing able to see what I haven't got through the sky light above the front door.

It was a great place to work, thinking about it makes me as blue as varicose veins.
 
On day 2 of my 21st week (the actual night of birthday) I have no recollection of what happened after i walked down wood street. Mate of mine was getting and others to buy shots of cirtruse which i have no idea to this day what it is, green and like 50 odd percent, and pouring them in my pint for like 2 hours. Walked down wood street to the Krazyhouse and then woke up in my bed, with the only memory a lesbians face!

Before that i drank like 15 tequillas in Cava on a mates 21st (couple years before) and blacked out, apparently i was circling the dance floor in reflex in some zombie state.

Then there was the time i nearly got stabbed, but that's an embarrassing story.
 
Went to (one of many) a class gathering at the end of 12th grade (last year of school), got a bit tipsy there, we went to a club, had a few more drinks there, went to an afterparty to one of my mates' houses, got wasted. We got food, coffee and water and stopped there for the night, I went back home somehow and my dog was next to my bed (it's a german shepherd, apparently I was in such a state that I let him in for some reason idk).

Later that day we went to same friend to finish the party.

The whole month of June is a blur, as this happened every day or two.

Also on prom day I danced with my ex (she was also a classmate) and, according to a story from a soberer person, we would've probably ended up hooking up. Except I ruined those chances by going outside the club, vomming, then forgetting how to walk and being carried home by my best mate.

FFS.
 
Ko Phangan, NYE 2001.

Terrence McKenna would've referred to it as a "heroic dose"*. Was awake for days.

*15 drops of liquid and about a gram of mud.
 
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First year of uni, went to a mates in Birmingham for a night out one weekend. Pre drinks at his, then go to his local where we start drinking this local ale, 7% or something, and we get through 4 pints in about an hour. Go to this club were I'm on the double vodka cokes, get through about 4/5 of them in the first hour/hour and a half. Tell my mates I'm going for a piss, instead I walk outside the club. That's when it becomes a blur.

Woke up in a thorn bush. Managed to scramble my way out, losing my phone, wallet and one shoe in the process. I walk across the road to a couple of girls having a ciggie outside a pub and ask them to take me back to the main road. They look me up and down in disgust and agree. Find a policeman, say 'hi, my name is...'. He knows straight away, throws me in his car and takes me back to the station. My mates had been panicking and had a search out for me. They came and got me sitting in the police station with no phone or wallet, one shoe, covered head to toe in scratches clutching a hot chocolate one of the bobbies gave me. Felt a bit sorry for myself for a while after that.
 
My second night in Ibiza last year, still pretty much going from the first night after 2 heavy days, we went to Space (the nightclub). Most of our group left early to get some rest, so I was left with just me and some lad from Stoke who I barely knew at the time. I remember trying to send a text, got about half way through it and the words and letters start dancing around my screen, looked at the other lad for some consolidation and he's leaned against a staircase with his eyes shut, moving his feet from side to side.

We went and sat in the chill out room for the rest of the night, chatting bollocks to each other. That lad is now a very good mate of mine.
 
Was out in liverpool all day and night drinking from one ended up in the royal about 3 in the morning with a cracked skull
 
Anyone ever been anywhere remote enough to see the stars? Really see them clearly, like. Go there and stargaze on really good pills- you're welcome.
 
I used to get very drunk back in my teens and early 20's. I think the worst one was during a heavy session at a house party. I had already drank an awful lot, but I used to be able to neck a pint in something like 4 seconds. I was dared to do it with a pint of white wine and I duly obliged. I just remember sitting down and looking at my friend who said "Man, you are going to be f****d". And that was it. I remember nothing between that and ending up lying in a field with my pants on backwards at about 6 o'clock in the morning. My friends had tried to carry me home, but apparently I was trying to punch them so they just left me there. Not without removing my pants and turning them around, of course.
 

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