Most off your tits you've ever been

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I've posted one or two 'true confessions' which got me thinking on others and they start to mount up and up and up and too many of them were life threatening to me and due to motor vehicles being involved others as well
pretty much seen the light now though...mostly.

What was I thinking
 
bluemangroup said:
Drove a golf buggy into a lake with my mate at a relatives wedding. Woke up to see a half submerged buggy, a shed load of green inspectors and half the wedding party standing round it from the safety of my hotel room.
I slipped back under the covers with a big smile on my face.
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Bungle in there with you?
 
My, er, mate got so slaughtered at a party he perceived someone's jacket to be an actual person, who at the time he fancied... he was caught in the 'courting' stages with it, although it was unclear to people at that point the full extent of his delusion.

Any ambiguity was shattered later on when they found him violently molesting the left sleeve.
 

Hibbertinho said:
My, er, mate got so slaughtered at a party he perceived someone's jacket to be an actual person, who at the time he fancied... he was caught in the 'courting' stages with it, although it was unclear to people at that point the full extent of his delusion.

Any ambiguity was shattered later on when they found him violently molesting the left sleeve.
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Haha! Class! - Reminds me of the end of that Bottom episode where Eddie gets high on pheromone spray and tries to molest a chair in the pub!
 
Probably back in 94. Seeing tigers roaming the streets, skeletons driving cars, dancing monster munch and a girl in the chippy who had rainbow coloured teeth.
 
Maxwell said:
First time I tried Salvia in my early teens. Stood in disbelief as I watched my mates nose turn into a carrot and his ears into jelly babies.
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Salvia ffs. Just reading the word brings back horrible flashbacks.

I SWEAR that restaurant was about to cave in on us but my mates didn't seem to believe me. Legging it was my only option and it all went downhill from there.
 

When I lived at the YMCA I got asked to go on one of their annual get togethers as the residents representative, on the first night they served a load of dodgy beer, something about the gas or pipes being bust, anyway this resulted in my guts being destroyed. I remember waking up with a couple of people trying to barge the toilet door open, which I'd collapsed in front of, and the stench of what I'd done hit me straight away, I'd also not managed to pull my trousers or boxers up so the scene and smell that greeted those trying to get in was horrific.

I was never asked to be residents rep again.
 
A few, one pre season in Amsterdam a few of us dropped a trip, smoked copious amounts and drank heavily. Problem, we had nowhere to kip, so we'd given our bags to a mate to mind in his hotel.

We decided it would be very sensible to kip in the doorway of C&A's. We were woken by muggers, some Morrocan had a bowie knife at my throat, took about 20 gildas off me, more off my mates. We saw headlights approaching and thought it was the feds, they did too and ran off, so we went the opposite way, right into sector 7, a no go area, their sort of Toxteth.

We were half way through before we realised when some brother approached asking if I wanted any hashish, I told him I had some, he said 'show me', I fumbled in my pocket, found nothing and said 'Lewy's got it'. He looked at me, pulled out a huge blade and a puck and insisted I bought some. I kept telling him Lewy had it, he just kep saying 'Lewy? What is this Lewy?', then brushed past me.

I began to roll on the floor screaming he'd stabbed me, my mates shouting he hadn't, which he hadn't. My screams alerted the whole neighbourhood to our presence so we had to leg it out of there with lead legs.

We ended up at Amsterdam train station goods entrance, some wreck in a posh suit and mac was asleep on the ramp, so we decided to get our heads down there.

We were woken 20 minutes later to see two more brothers roll this guy taking his watch, wallet and other stuff, when they saw we were awake they flashed a couple of knives and said go to sleep. As soon as they went we were offski....

All of this happened, it wasn't a trip, but all the way through it we were completely off our faces. We'd drank this stuff called Bessen in the 3 musketeers, the scottish barman giving it to us free we actually fell off stools drinking it, mental gear.

This was the 2nd night of the tour and we hadn't even played yet.

Chaos, absolute chaos of a night. Hysterical afterwards because we had survived, god knows how but we did.

Blue mics, avoided them like the plague afterwards :)
 
Getting off with a woman from the Grafton a few days after my 18th, all I can remember of the night back at hers was her taking a girdle off, and waking up the next morning trying to sneak off, my jeans were on the floor and on top of them were her knickers, with skid marks in them!
After seeing that I couldn't look round at her, because I was afraid of what she looked like.
 

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