Dear Jose
It is with heavy heart I pen this open letter to you on this fine Wednesday afternoon, as you know we have an away fixture against Palace tonight and I dont recall when ive ever been less arsed about Everton playing a game of football in my life. Ive been more excited about pre-season games than I do about tonight, but enough of that, how are you? I notice you are currently out of work, yes I know Chelsea are paying you 250k a week, but surely you miss the day to day management game?
Well let me try and sell Everton Football Club to you Jose, lets see if we can get those juices flowing.
If you take a glance at our squad, which im sure you did when you made offers for John Stones you will see a very talented base from which to work from, the squad is full of very talented players, most of which would love to work with a manager of your ability, we also currently have a fella in charge that no doubt would be willing to throw you a few bob to add some quality in certain areas.
I mean sure you would have to take a massive pay cut and im sure your daughter would miss the bright lights of London, but ive heard the Albert Dock is a good place to visit and theres always Concert Square.
So Jose, Welcome to Everton or should I say, Welcome Home.
Signed
EFC est. 1878