Seriously need help here.

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Deco DO NOT lick her minge ffs - think forensics.

Now as a group we will come up with a way to frame John Aldridge

Drag her to that bit of waste ground near The Kop.

 

[Connor]

Deco DO NOT lick her minge ffs - think forensics.

Now as a group we will come up with a way to frame John Aldridge

Leave a note saying 'Sound as a Pound this'.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Not the pitch, over the road

 

[StracsEyebrows]

Drop her off at my place if you need somewhere to dump the body. I'll keep her safe.

 

[BlueLlama]

All good lads, also try ruffling her hair as if she had just scored an own goal in an FA cup semi final

 

[Kurt.]

make sure you have a magic marker...... ya know a magic marker...... a magic marker, a fukin pen ..a magic marker ffs....




*Pulp fiction is ace.

 

[Bungle]

Can we get a picture of the gash please mate so we can judge how serious this is?

 

[bignev23]

You said the curtain rail fell on both of you and she has a big lump on her head, if you have no marks on you,you must go to the garden and get a rock and smash yourself in the mush, or they'll deffo suspect you.

 

[Warwick Hunt]

Try sawdust.

If this fails just blame Chelsea.

You were asleep in your hotel room.

 

[Warwick Hunt]

btw..... Those curtains, how much for the pair?

 

[Ducans elbow]

Make sure the curtains are closed before the ambulance arrives, bit of dignity eh?

It may be tough closing them as they are beef curtains

 

[orly]

Any ex-Kipper chaps think of a classic Fellaini's Afro post "seriously guys I really need some help here" when they saw the title ?

On topic- you're ****ed mate. If it hit her that hard, when she comes round she'll probably have forgotten the curtain rail, feel the pain and guess you hit her. If she has a vagin like a cavernous tunnel anyway (she went back with you on first invite) then she won't be sure that you haven't "surprised" her anyway. She'll definitely be thinking worst case scenario.

TL;DR five years for you minimum

 

[Degs62]

Hopefully went like this:

Deco: Crap she's out better get some advice from GOT.
*Reads advice, calls ambulance, porks the back door while fingering.
*Hears the ambulance, hits himself on head with curtain rail.
*Covers lady with bedsheets, runs down stairs to the door naked screaming like a girl.
*Opens door.
Ambo says: not again Deco FFS, you'd better pull some pants on and scarper sharpish, and remember next time that curtain rails are for curtains not gymnastics you tit.
Deco: Cheers Chico, have a go yourself before she comes round, just tell her you're doing CPR, she's Blond.

 

[formerly manx toffee]

Is it tidy downstairs ?

 

[Bacon On]

Post pics of her foof before she comes around FFS