Deco
Player Valuation: £40m
Alright.
I guess you guys deserve an explanation for the terrible scenes of last night. Before I begin, I want to say that I was fairly drunk at the time but luckily knew what I was doing and hence managed to let you guys know ASAP about the situation.
This is a story that began at around 11:45pm and finished at roughly 5:30am.
Setting the scene, one of my top friends just got a new house and wanted to get a group round as we haven't had a chance to chill for a while for many reasons. He invited maybe 15 people, so not huge but enough for a decent night. The girl I was with is actually one that I've been seeing for some time but it's been on and off but I managed to pull her again last night, she was doing her own thing getting smashed and had an amount to drink that could probably make Distin struggle to walk.
The night was going well, everyone loving life and I was thinking "easily going to pull her again". The drinking games came out and one of my personal favourites, ring of fire, began. Just my luck, managed to pick out the fourth king and for anyone that hasn't played the game, when you pick up the fourth king you have to down the dirty pint in the middle that everyone had been pouring their various drinks into (and also some **** spat in it, hate life). For a good 15 minutes I decided to ease off the drink to avoid any awful happenings e.g. throwing up everywhere after drinking too much then having the dirty pint on top of that, and so pretty much ruining my chances of pulling. The tactical pause in drinking paid off, as during this I went for a piss (also tactical, didn't want anyone knowing about my 15 minutes of avoiding drink), just after going out of the bathroom the bird I wanted to pull was standing there. What happened in the 10 seconds after that is unknown but suddenly she had her tongue in my mouth and I was, for obvious reasons, doing a celebration dance in my head.
After this she decided to break me and go downstairs (bad teasing, wasn't impressed by this). After maybe another 20 minutes downstairs I walked back up because I heard some noises. Opened the door to my mate's bedroom (the lad who owns the house) to see him and my other mate spit roasting this girl that was invited but I never met her before (great first impressions like). No word of a lie, still can't believe I witnessed this as the second lad in the room had been on a 5 month dry spell, so I decided to leave them to it - feeling pretty ill about it at the time to be fair. After leaving the room, the bird is there again - second time lucky though and I get her in the other bedroom. Happy days, I was in with basically the whole night to go so no time wasted - it was about 12:20am at this point. Both me and her were going for it, started just kissing and I slipped the cheeky finger in because she was pushing my hand down there. After a couple minutes I had my hand back up (planning to go for the next stage as I didn't want to take my time), and we were just kissing again although I was literally about to go for it and.. disaster struck.
She accidentally grabs the curtain and the whole rail collapses onto us. Luckily, I managed to dodge it. She however let out a little "argghh" and suddenly went quiet. I'm still laying above her in the darkness and I say her name to no response, lean back and see her staring up with her eyes wide open just motionless. Seeing this, as I said last night, I let out a "What the [Poor language removed]." and jump up off the bed. I turn on the light and go back over to her and I'll tell you now I've never been so relieved that someone was still breathing - my first thought was "perfect, just my luck, done for manslaughter". Her eyes then shut and she starts to cringe in pain, so I was thinking "SHE'S AWAKE" but nope. I say her name again but with no answer I lift one of her eyelids and her eye is full on staring up so I can barely see the pupil.
I see that she has a huge bump on her forehead and at this point I wasn't really sure what to do as she was beginning to shake slightly. I run to the next room and find my mate who owns the house had just finished and tell him to come in the room now. He walked in and his first reaction was "what have you done now?", and with no messing about we talked about what we had to do - do we leave her for 10 minutes and see how she is? Do we call an ambulance straight away? Do we take the next flight to Cuba? While discussing this, I went on my phone to search up what the right move would be and I thought "have to inform GOT and ask for advice". By the way, Chico wins for keeping me in a positive attitude by saying that I'd have maybe 10 years in prison if the situation gets worse (Cheers Chico mate).
After following some very helpful advice from you guys (remember I was still drunk and had no idea what to do), we got her into the recovery position and I asked some other people in the house for advice. Funny thing is, most of them said to leave her to rest and not ring an ambulance. One person however said to call the 111 service thing for advice (didn't even know this existed), and they said to call an ambulance straight away. During this phone call the woman finally began to wake up, with her first words being "I need a piss". At first we all celebrated as she had finally woken up but she said she felt really bad and so I decided to not waste any time and call 999, to which a paramedic in his car turned up saying he'd do initial tests and choose whether to call an ambulance in. As the small tests went on he was asking her questions (assuming she was concussed), to which she was hit and miss but couldn't remember things like her mum's name or her own surname - meaning that he thought it would be best to get to a hospital ASAP just in case. At this point my phone died, meaning I couldn't update the GOT faithful.
Being the bloke that has been with her before and was there for the accident happening, I went with her in the ambulance (despite my sly protests saying one of her friends should go, basically so I can carry on the night). Once we finally got there, they did further tests and said they'd prefer to keep watching how she does for a few hours. So there I was, sat there talking to a bird that couldn't remember her mum's name (she knew who I was though, otherwise that would have been awkward) for a good 3 hours. She improved as the time went on and the doctor decided she could go back, but being at a hospital about 45 minutes from the house we were at before meant that I had to pay for the taxi which wasn't cheap at £36.40.
On the way back she was almost back to normal, with only the memory loss about certain things being a problem, and a big headache.
She couldn't believe how nice I had been, helping her out and all that (even though it was mostly to avoid jail time if she died or something), and once we got back at around I finally managed to get what I wanted at the start of the night. VICTORY.
Not really sure whether this turned out the way everyone wanted, as there was no advantage taken, and I haven't been arrested yet so all's well. This story is based on what I can remember, it was a pretty rough night.
If anyone didn't want to read that wall of text, then all you need to know is that a bird got KO'd, I had to go to the hospital with her, and I finally got mine when we got back.
Much love
Deco
I guess you guys deserve an explanation for the terrible scenes of last night. Before I begin, I want to say that I was fairly drunk at the time but luckily knew what I was doing and hence managed to let you guys know ASAP about the situation.
This is a story that began at around 11:45pm and finished at roughly 5:30am.
Setting the scene, one of my top friends just got a new house and wanted to get a group round as we haven't had a chance to chill for a while for many reasons. He invited maybe 15 people, so not huge but enough for a decent night. The girl I was with is actually one that I've been seeing for some time but it's been on and off but I managed to pull her again last night, she was doing her own thing getting smashed and had an amount to drink that could probably make Distin struggle to walk.
The night was going well, everyone loving life and I was thinking "easily going to pull her again". The drinking games came out and one of my personal favourites, ring of fire, began. Just my luck, managed to pick out the fourth king and for anyone that hasn't played the game, when you pick up the fourth king you have to down the dirty pint in the middle that everyone had been pouring their various drinks into (and also some **** spat in it, hate life). For a good 15 minutes I decided to ease off the drink to avoid any awful happenings e.g. throwing up everywhere after drinking too much then having the dirty pint on top of that, and so pretty much ruining my chances of pulling. The tactical pause in drinking paid off, as during this I went for a piss (also tactical, didn't want anyone knowing about my 15 minutes of avoiding drink), just after going out of the bathroom the bird I wanted to pull was standing there. What happened in the 10 seconds after that is unknown but suddenly she had her tongue in my mouth and I was, for obvious reasons, doing a celebration dance in my head.
After this she decided to break me and go downstairs (bad teasing, wasn't impressed by this). After maybe another 20 minutes downstairs I walked back up because I heard some noises. Opened the door to my mate's bedroom (the lad who owns the house) to see him and my other mate spit roasting this girl that was invited but I never met her before (great first impressions like). No word of a lie, still can't believe I witnessed this as the second lad in the room had been on a 5 month dry spell, so I decided to leave them to it - feeling pretty ill about it at the time to be fair. After leaving the room, the bird is there again - second time lucky though and I get her in the other bedroom. Happy days, I was in with basically the whole night to go so no time wasted - it was about 12:20am at this point. Both me and her were going for it, started just kissing and I slipped the cheeky finger in because she was pushing my hand down there. After a couple minutes I had my hand back up (planning to go for the next stage as I didn't want to take my time), and we were just kissing again although I was literally about to go for it and.. disaster struck.
She accidentally grabs the curtain and the whole rail collapses onto us. Luckily, I managed to dodge it. She however let out a little "argghh" and suddenly went quiet. I'm still laying above her in the darkness and I say her name to no response, lean back and see her staring up with her eyes wide open just motionless. Seeing this, as I said last night, I let out a "What the [Poor language removed]." and jump up off the bed. I turn on the light and go back over to her and I'll tell you now I've never been so relieved that someone was still breathing - my first thought was "perfect, just my luck, done for manslaughter". Her eyes then shut and she starts to cringe in pain, so I was thinking "SHE'S AWAKE" but nope. I say her name again but with no answer I lift one of her eyelids and her eye is full on staring up so I can barely see the pupil.
I see that she has a huge bump on her forehead and at this point I wasn't really sure what to do as she was beginning to shake slightly. I run to the next room and find my mate who owns the house had just finished and tell him to come in the room now. He walked in and his first reaction was "what have you done now?", and with no messing about we talked about what we had to do - do we leave her for 10 minutes and see how she is? Do we call an ambulance straight away? Do we take the next flight to Cuba? While discussing this, I went on my phone to search up what the right move would be and I thought "have to inform GOT and ask for advice". By the way, Chico wins for keeping me in a positive attitude by saying that I'd have maybe 10 years in prison if the situation gets worse (Cheers Chico mate).
After following some very helpful advice from you guys (remember I was still drunk and had no idea what to do), we got her into the recovery position and I asked some other people in the house for advice. Funny thing is, most of them said to leave her to rest and not ring an ambulance. One person however said to call the 111 service thing for advice (didn't even know this existed), and they said to call an ambulance straight away. During this phone call the woman finally began to wake up, with her first words being "I need a piss". At first we all celebrated as she had finally woken up but she said she felt really bad and so I decided to not waste any time and call 999, to which a paramedic in his car turned up saying he'd do initial tests and choose whether to call an ambulance in. As the small tests went on he was asking her questions (assuming she was concussed), to which she was hit and miss but couldn't remember things like her mum's name or her own surname - meaning that he thought it would be best to get to a hospital ASAP just in case. At this point my phone died, meaning I couldn't update the GOT faithful.
Being the bloke that has been with her before and was there for the accident happening, I went with her in the ambulance (despite my sly protests saying one of her friends should go, basically so I can carry on the night). Once we finally got there, they did further tests and said they'd prefer to keep watching how she does for a few hours. So there I was, sat there talking to a bird that couldn't remember her mum's name (she knew who I was though, otherwise that would have been awkward) for a good 3 hours. She improved as the time went on and the doctor decided she could go back, but being at a hospital about 45 minutes from the house we were at before meant that I had to pay for the taxi which wasn't cheap at £36.40.
On the way back she was almost back to normal, with only the memory loss about certain things being a problem, and a big headache.
She couldn't believe how nice I had been, helping her out and all that (even though it was mostly to avoid jail time if she died or something), and once we got back at around I finally managed to get what I wanted at the start of the night. VICTORY.
Not really sure whether this turned out the way everyone wanted, as there was no advantage taken, and I haven't been arrested yet so all's well. This story is based on what I can remember, it was a pretty rough night.
If anyone didn't want to read that wall of text, then all you need to know is that a bird got KO'd, I had to go to the hospital with her, and I finally got mine when we got back.
Much love
Deco
