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Reminds me of an excellent phrase that came out of a report about a protest by the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. A rather serious General kept coming out with the statement about how the prisoners had 'weaponised their faeces', had me chuckling for weeks.'liquid faecal excrement' did for me
or 'flung their poo' as it's known to the rest of the world.
http://metro.co.uk/2016/02/22/brita...biscuit-shortage-after-storm-desmond-5710302/
Britain is facing a massive BISCUIT shortage after Storm Desmond
Monday 22 Feb 2016 10:30 am
Prepare yourself, Britain – for we are living in dark, and potentially biscuit-less times.
We could be facing a massive shortage of bourbon and custard cream biscuits, after Britain’s biggest biscuit factory was hit by Storm Desmond, dramatically halting production.
The United Biscuits factory produces biscuits for companies such as McVitie’s and Jacob’s – but was forced to halt production after Carlisle was hit by floods in December.
Now, they are yet to set to a return date for production, but say they hope it will be up and running ‘as soon as possible’.
It all sounds rather ominous, and shoppers have already expressed their understandable panic at the lack of teatime favourites.
In a statement, a United Biscuits spokesman said: ‘We apologise if consumers are finding it difficult to get hold of some of these products and we are working hard at our Carlisle site to resume normal service as soon as possible.
Carlisle’s United Biscuits factory
‘We currently have 400 United Biscuits employees, contractors and suppliers working back at our factory site and supporting with the clean-up process, and resuming factory production is an absolute priority for us.’
Sainsbury’s has also done little to calm the panic, admitting that some stores may not be fully stocked with biscuits ‘until mid-April.’
Tesco’s, however, has been somewhat more reassuring – and promises that the biscuits will be back in stock on February 28.
*panic buys a penguin*
L.F.E. - close.'liquid faecal excrement' did for me
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-hedgehog-put-crash-diet-7425092
Giant hedgehog put on crash diet because he's too fat to curl into a ball
The male hedgehog - nicknamed The Big One - weighs THREE TIMES as much as a normal hedgehog
- 15:36, 23 FEB 2016
- UPDATED 15:36, 23 FEB 2016
- BY RICHARD SMITH
This giant-sized hedgehog has been put on a crash diet and fitness regime - because he is too fat to curl up into a ball.
Chunky: The Big One is THREE TIMES the size of a normal hedgehog
The male - nicknamed The Big One - weighs 3.8lbs (1.744gms) which is about three times the size of a normal hedgehog.
He piled on the pounds while living a life of luxury after being rescued by a well-meaning animal welfare volunteer four months ago.
The Big One had was enjoying such a cushy life he did not bother to hibernate - and all his meals were served up on a plate.
But the excess fat storage and lack of exercise have taken their toll and he has become dangerously obese .
Staff at the Oak and Furrows Wildlife Rescue Centre in Cricklade, Wilts, are now trying to get The big One back in shape so he can return to the wild this Spring.
They are hoping the hedgehog’s lifestyle change will bring his weight down to 1.4lbs.
Animal carer Darren Squires said: “This hedgehog had been rescued in the wild and was looked after by an independent animal rescue volunteer who fed him puppy food and dried mealworm, which is like crisps to hedgehogs.
Slimming world: The male hedgehog has been put on a strict diet
“Hedgehogs store up a protein-rich fat over the winter for when they hibernate.
“But this one has taken full advantage of not needing to hibernate and has kept his stores up too well, so much so he has ballooned.
“In the wild he would cover an average of 2kms a night looking for food but he hasn’t had to burn off the calories.
“His size is a hindrance to him and now he can’t roll up tightly in a ball. If he was released into the wild he wouldn’t be able to defend himself.
“He needs to get on the treadmill and we have got to get him to lose weight. “We have put him in an enclosure so he has to forage around. His bedding is in one part and his food in another so he has to do a lap to find his food and burn off some energy.
“He can get around okay, although he shuffles along a bit. I have read about obesity in hedgehogs but have never seen one before.”
The rescue centre currently has about 60 hedgehogs in its care.
cool.....
It's not the first time that Calgary Zoo has experienced unfortunate incidents involving its animals. Among those highlighted by CBC were the 2013 death of a female penguin which swallowed a foot-long stick; and a spider monkey which died of frostbite after being left outside in cold weather.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-35604300
'Unauthorised trousers' kill Canadian zoo's otter
- 18 February 2016
A Canadian zoo is under scrutiny following the death of an otter which had been given a pair of trousers to play with in its enclosure.
Logan, a 12-year-old American river otter, drowned at Calgary Zoo after being given the article of clothing as an "unauthorised enrichment item", the Calgary Sun newspaper reports.
The zoo's general curator, Colleen Baird, says Logan got trapped in one of the trouser legs, and two employees have subsequently been disciplined following an investigation into the incident.
"It was human error and we take animal deaths very seriously," she tells the paper, but refuses to be drawn on who was responsible. "It's irrelevant how exactly the pants got in there, it's more that the pants got in there in the first place."
"Enrichment items" are common in zoos, but they should be things which occur naturally in the animal's environment, Ms Baird says, and trousers don't fit the bill.
While the zoo says its animal care protocols "are among the most stringent in the industry", it has faced criticism over the otter's death.
Julie Woodyer, from animal welfare group Zoocheck, told Canadian broadcaster CBC: "It smacks of the kinds of things you might see at a roadside zoo, not in a professional operation."
It's not the first time that Calgary Zoo has experienced unfortunate incidents involving its animals. Among those highlighted by CBC were the 2013 death of a female penguin which swallowed a foot-long stick; and a spider monkey which died of frostbite after being left outside in cold weather.
In 2009, a gorilla was photographed wielding a knife which a keeper had inadvertently left in its enclosure, an incident the zoo described as "overblown" because gorillas don't understand the concept of using tools as weapons.