Summer Transfer Window 2019

[Neiler]

Expressing concern about our lack of signings is legitimate with two weeks to go.

Carry on trying to be funny, though, it’s hilarious.

I think it’s pretty simple, we have limited funds and have to player trade. We obviously are interested in a certain caliber of player and because of the former, we have to wait for 1. Player satisfy themselves they can’t move to a bigger club, 2. Selling club to satisfy themselves they won’t get a better deal then the one we are offering.

We are in a certain market were we need to be creative and patient. I think we will see what we did last season, frees, loans and maybe a couple of signings, all in the latter part of the window.

We’ve been here before really.

 

[Bungle]

Good morning all, alternative transfer news was temporarily suspended as a moderator appears to have 'accidentally' locked me out of my account for 7 days. As I'm sure we'll all agree this was a great injustice when you consider @CRIMHEAD @The Penny Blue @Mikey_Fitzgerald and many others are still allowed to roam the internet unchecked.

Anyhow, I digress. On with the update, and firstly lets deal with the outgoings;

Ademola Lookman finally looks to have scuttled off to Germany to complete a medical ahead of his move to some no marks that have a hugely inflated opinion of themselves despite only existing for 10 years. This could almost describe my forum career, but thankfully I don't have to deal with the shame of being German.

Bassala Sambou is another player that's left this week for a club that very few appear to have heard of. In fact I initially began this sentence with 'has also left for Germany' before realising Holland isn't in Germany. In a hilarious unveiling video we see Bassala being presented with various size shirts to try on, the majority of which are comically small. Thankfully he finds a shirt that fits before the deal falls through in the most embarrassing circumstances, it would have been up there with the time the Fer deal fell through after we were unable to get a letting agent to put the tenancy for a 2 bed semi in the name of his birds horse.

And now onto the incoming rumours;

The deal to bring Kurt Zouma back to Everton appears to be completely dead after both himself and Frank Lampard agreed that his future is at Chelsea. This is of course until 2 days before the window closes when they both realise the exact opposite is actually the case and have to backtrack and push for a deal, sadly we'll have already panicked and paid £32m for Gary Cahill despite being available for free.

Wout Weghorst comes out of nowhere as a suggestion in one article as to who Everton should sign to solve their Striker issues, never heard of him? Me neither. I have gone to the trouble of scouting him on your behalf and can report that he's essentially the white Lacina Traore, I've based this on the fact that I haven't actually scouted him at all but did see that he was 6ft 6'. I think we can file this with the long list of transfers that won't be happening.

In a confusing article whose headline says we would be a force to be reckoned with if we signed Blaise Matuidi they then go on to list the reasons that we should avoid signing him. I can only surmise that the journalist responsible is suffering some inner turmoil that manifests itself as some sort of transfer tourettes whereby he sabotages his own suggestions almost instantly. I contacted the journalist in question and asked for an interview, which he happily agreed to, before calling me back 30 seconds later to call me a prick and never to contact him again.

And we'll finish with news that we are battling with Wolves to sign Boubakary Soumare from Lille, the player is on his way for talks with both clubs but it's likely to take him a number of days to arrive as he has decided to fly over himself by flapping his arms rapidly (as pictured during take off below) after discovering the original flight plans were made by Willie McKay.

If you made it to the end of this update then your life is as empty as mine and we should all consider spending far less time on the internet and more time in therapy.

 

[Michael81]

A year ago today we made our first signing of the transfer window. Have a great day lads x

I've been more or less saying this myself, all summer. Gomes in asap had to be done. They trued for Zouma but neither he wants to come or club want to sell. Brands has been clearing dead wood and possibly been probing for players, but now he'll be stepping it up to get then through the door. I'm sure we'll get in who we need, or at least who is available that we want.

In fairness to everyone that's fuming over the lack of activity, I totally agree with nearly all points. Getting them in for the full preseason, in my eyes is absolutely essential to hit the ground running. So many times we'll throw away the points from the first few games, because we buy everyone last minute and have 2 wait months for the team to find a balance. Possibly should shut the window for everyone 2 weeks before the season kicks off, which should get all the right business done

 

[Saint Domingo]

Schrodingers Director of Football: does good business, gets good deals, avoids panic buying that saddles the club with bad contracts long term, AND closes everything first week of the window at the same time

When Brands arrived the watch word was patience, there was a general acceptance that we were at the beginning of a very long painful re-build. No one needs to see that squad list from the end of 17/18 with the coach tract lengths and wages given to some players again to see what a mess we were in.

So Brands starts the first window targeting good players but showing a refusal to pay cost the odds for them. We even waited until the last day to push Barcelona to accept the fee. We were rewarded with our best window since the Moyes years and 6 first team players out of 6 transfers.

We get to the second summer window and all of a sudden all patience is now gone. The strategy of waiting for the right players at the right price has just been replaced with us wanting to just overpay for players we don’t want just to ‘get someone in’. There’s now a desire to accelerate what was probably a 5 year job into one transfer window. ‘Just buy 4 top class first team players in these positions now Brands FFS’

I don’t know whether it’s the success of his first window has created a rod for his back or if people are just on the wind up but do people realise what a task that is we are asking of him? Essentially to completely revamp 5 years of terrible recruitment within two summer windows, delivering us 10 first team players of top 6 quality at bargain prices, oh and by the way you need to have a 100% success rate on your transfers, and we’d like you not to leave any deals until later in the window.

It’s completely unrealistic and fortunately Brands seems single minded and competent enough to follow his own strategy rather than reacting to a hysterical fan base.

 

[BlueStevie35]

Expressing concern about our lack of signings is legitimate with two weeks to go.

Carry on trying to be funny, though, it’s hilarious.

Hardly anyone in the League have done moves, it’s been a case of turning loans into perms for us, Leicester, Wolves and Chelsea, signing no marks like Newcastle and Arsenal have, overpaying on players like United have on Wan Bissaka or Villa doing a Fulham by blowing the best part of 100m. No one has gone for a blow the league away mega signing that makes everyone stand up and take notice yet

 

[BlueStevie35]

A year ago today we made our first signing of the transfer window. Have a great day lads x

Don’t know how many times this needs saying mate, but it’s clearly still not getting through to the whining brigade

 

[MikeH72]

Don’t know how many times this needs saying mate, but it’s clearly still not getting through to the whining brigade

They don't want it to. If we'd signed 7 players they'd all whinge that they're not good enough. You will NEVER stop their crusade.

 

[Deleted member 38674]

How the hell is brands meant to sell Niasse, Mirallas, Bolasie etc... For fees above market level? They are all on double the wages they should be and can't get into our first team. Could anyone achieve that??

The sales he's achieved of our crap up to now has been really good

I'm not suggesting those particular players, nor am I talking solely about this window. I'm saying that the measure of a good DOF is by consistently securing good deals for the clubs on ins and outs. If Brands is doing that then he'll have my full faith. Upto now he hasn't so I'm not sure where he's got this reputation from.

£4m for Browning. £12m for Klaassen, £8m for Funes-Mori and £14m for Vlasic, none of which is either impressive or poor. Especially when you consider Williams, Jags, Galloway, Rooney and Robles went for nothing too. If we were willing to facilitate the release of those (in some cases) we should be willing to flex more to exit a few more.

 

[Milk]

Good morning all, alternative transfer news was temporarily suspended as a moderator appears to have 'accidentally' locked me out of my account for 7 days. As I'm sure we'll all agree this was a great injustice when you consider @CRIMHEAD @The Penny Blue @Mikey_Fitzgerald and many others are still allowed to roam the internet unchecked.

Anyhow, I digress. On with the update, and firstly lets deal with the outgoings;

Ademola Lookman finally looks to have scuttled off to Germany to complete a medical ahead of his move to some no marks that have a hugely inflated opinion of themselves despite only existing for 10 years. This could almost describe my forum career, but thankfully I don't have to deal with the shame of being German.

Bassala Sambou is another player that's left this week for a club that very few appear to have heard of. In fact I initially began this sentence with 'has also left for Germany' before realising Holland isn't in Germany. In a hilarious unveiling video we see Bassala being presented with various size shirts to try on, the majority of which are comically small. Thankfully he finds a shirt that fits before the deal falls through in the most embarrassing circumstances, it would have been up there with the time the Fer deal fell through after we were unable to get a letting agent to put the tenancy for a 2 bed semi in the name of his birds horse.

And now onto the incoming rumours;

The deal to bring Kurt Zouma back to Everton appears to be completely dead after both himself and Frank Lampard agreed that his future is at Chelsea. This is of course until 2 days before the window closes when they both realise the exact opposite is actually the case and have to backtrack and push for a deal, sadly we'll have already panicked and paid £32m for Gary Cahill despite being available for free.

Wout Weghorst comes out of nowhere as a suggestion in one article as to who Everton should sign to solve their Striker issues, never heard of him? Me neither. I have gone to the trouble of scouting him on your behalf and can report that he's essentially the white Lacina Traore, I've based this on the fact that I haven't actually scouted him at all but did see that he was 6ft 6'. I think we can file this with the long list of transfers that won't be happening.

In a confusing article whose headline says we would be a force to be reckoned with if we signed Blaise Matuidi they then go on to list the reasons that we should avoid signing him. I can only surmise that the journalist responsible is suffering some inner turmoil that manifests itself as some sort of transfer tourettes whereby he sabotages his own suggestions almost instantly. I contacted the journalist in question and asked for an interview, which he happily agreed to, before calling me back 30 seconds later to call me a prick and never to contact him again.

And we'll finish with news that we are battling with Wolves to sign Boubakary Soumare from Lille, the player is on his way for talks with both clubs but it's likely to take him a number of days to arrive as he has decided to fly over himself by flapping his arms rapidly (as pictured during take off below) after discovering the original flight plans were made by Willie McKay.

If you made it to the end of this update then your life is as empty as mine and we should all consider spending far less time on the internet and more time in therapy.

Best transfer roundup going. Cheers @Bungle

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

When Brands arrived the watch word was patience, there was a general acceptance that we were at the beginning of a very long painful re-build. No one needs to see that squad list from the end of 17/18 with the coach tract lengths and wages given to some players again to see what a mess we were in.

So Brands starts the first window targeting good players but showing a refusal to pay cost the odds for them. We even waited until the last day to push Barcelona to accept the fee. We were rewarded with our best window since the Moyes years and 6 first team players out of 6 transfers.

We get to the second summer window and all of a sudden all patience is now gone. The strategy of waiting for the right players at the right price has just been replaced with us wanting to just overpay for players we don’t want just to ‘get someone in’. There’s now a desire to accelerate what was probably a 5 year job into one transfer window. ‘Just buy 4 top class first team players in these positions now Brands FFS’

I don’t know whether it’s the success of his first window has created a rod for his back or if people are just on the wind up but do people realise what a task that is we are asking of him? Essentially to completely revamp 5 years of terrible recruitment within two summer windows, delivering us 10 first team players of top 6 quality at bargain prices, oh and by the way you need to have a 100% success rate on your transfers, and we’d like you not to leave any deals until later in the window.

It’s completely unrealistic and fortunately Brands seems single minded and competent enough to follow his own strategy rather than reacting to a hysterical fan base.

I said this a few weeks back... There's a reason fans don't run clubs. We're irrational idiots most of the time.

 

[GwladysBlue]

which feckin teams? its been repeatedly pointed out that no one has really improved their squad that much yet

Leicester and West Ham have both improved their squads.

 

[GwladysBlue]

I think it’s pretty simple, we have limited funds and have to player trade. We obviously are interested in a certain caliber of player and because of the former, we have to wait for 1. Player satisfy themselves they can’t move to a bigger club, 2. Selling club to satisfy themselves they won’t get a better deal then the one we are offering.

We are in a certain market were we need to be creative and patient. I think we will see what we did last season, frees, loans and maybe a couple of signings, all in the latter part of the window.

We’ve been here before really.

Yeah, sell to buy. We’re back to being skint.

 

[Coggy]

When Brands arrived the watch word was patience, there was a general acceptance that we were at the beginning of a very long painful re-build. No one needs to see that squad list from the end of 17/18 with the coach tract lengths and wages given to some players again to see what a mess we were in.

So Brands starts the first window targeting good players but showing a refusal to pay cost the odds for them. We even waited until the last day to push Barcelona to accept the fee. We were rewarded with our best window since the Moyes years and 6 first team players out of 6 transfers.

We get to the second summer window and all of a sudden all patience is now gone. The strategy of waiting for the right players at the right price has just been replaced with us wanting to just overpay for players we don’t want just to ‘get someone in’. There’s now a desire to accelerate what was probably a 5 year job into one transfer window. ‘Just buy 4 top class first team players in these positions now Brands FFS’

I don’t know whether it’s the success of his first window has created a rod for his back or if people are just on the wind up but do people realise what a task that is we are asking of him? Essentially to completely revamp 5 years of terrible recruitment within two summer windows, delivering us 10 first team players of top 6 quality at bargain prices, oh and by the way you need to have a 100% success rate on your transfers, and we’d like you not to leave any deals until later in the window.

It’s completely unrealistic and fortunately Brands seems single minded and competent enough to follow his own strategy rather than reacting to a hysterical fan base.

What a brilliant summary. Well said mate.

 

[MikeH72]

I'm not suggesting those particular players, nor am I talking solely about this window. I'm saying that the measure of a good DOF is by consistently securing good deals for the clubs on ins and outs. If Brands is doing that then he'll have my full faith. Upto now he hasn't so I'm not sure where he's got this reputation from.

£4m for Browning. £12m for Klaassen, £8m for Funes-Mori and £14m for Vlasic, none of which is either impressive or poor. Especially when you consider Williams, Jags, Galloway, Rooney and Robles went for nothing too. If we were willing to facilitate the release of those (in some cases) we should be willing to flex more to exit a few more.

That is an utterly hanging list of players, that we got double figures for all of them combined is nothing short of a miracle and you will not convince me otherwise.

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

Good morning all, alternative transfer news was temporarily suspended as a moderator appears to have 'accidentally' locked me out of my account for 7 days. As I'm sure we'll all agree this was a great injustice when you consider @CRIMHEAD @The Penny Blue @Mikey_Fitzgerald and many others are still allowed to roam the internet unchecked.

Anyhow, I digress. On with the update, and firstly lets deal with the outgoings;

Ademola Lookman finally looks to have scuttled off to Germany to complete a medical ahead of his move to some no marks that have a hugely inflated opinion of themselves despite only existing for 10 years. This could almost describe my forum career, but thankfully I don't have to deal with the shame of being German.

Bassala Sambou is another player that's left this week for a club that very few appear to have heard of. In fact I initially began this sentence with 'has also left for Germany' before realising Holland isn't in Germany. In a hilarious unveiling video we see Bassala being presented with various size shirts to try on, the majority of which are comically small. Thankfully he finds a shirt that fits before the deal falls through in the most embarrassing circumstances, it would have been up there with the time the Fer deal fell through after we were unable to get a letting agent to put the tenancy for a 2 bed semi in the name of his birds horse.

And now onto the incoming rumours;

The deal to bring Kurt Zouma back to Everton appears to be completely dead after both himself and Frank Lampard agreed that his future is at Chelsea. This is of course until 2 days before the window closes when they both realise the exact opposite is actually the case and have to backtrack and push for a deal, sadly we'll have already panicked and paid £32m for Gary Cahill despite being available for free.

Wout Weghorst comes out of nowhere as a suggestion in one article as to who Everton should sign to solve their Striker issues, never heard of him? Me neither. I have gone to the trouble of scouting him on your behalf and can report that he's essentially the white Lacina Traore, I've based this on the fact that I haven't actually scouted him at all but did see that he was 6ft 6'. I think we can file this with the long list of transfers that won't be happening.

In a confusing article whose headline says we would be a force to be reckoned with if we signed Blaise Matuidi they then go on to list the reasons that we should avoid signing him. I can only surmise that the journalist responsible is suffering some inner turmoil that manifests itself as some sort of transfer tourettes whereby he sabotages his own suggestions almost instantly. I contacted the journalist in question and asked for an interview, which he happily agreed to, before calling me back 30 seconds later to call me a prick and never to contact him again.

And we'll finish with news that we are battling with Wolves to sign Boubakary Soumare from Lille, the player is on his way for talks with both clubs but it's likely to take him a number of days to arrive as he has decided to fly over himself by flapping his arms rapidly (as pictured during take off below) after discovering the original flight plans were made by Willie McKay.

If you made it to the end of this update then your life is as empty as mine and we should all consider spending far less time on the internet and more time in therapy.

Didn't even realise you were gone...